JB's Thread Of NaNo

[JB]

This in my first NaNo, and I have no ideas XD; At all.

Well...I shouldn't say that. I generally do better with fanfiction when it comes to stories, and I've been toying with the idea of using my Girls Not Guys Prequel for this. I haven't written that yet, just lots of ideas and scenes floating around my head.

The downside to that would be that anyone who reads Girls Not Guys can't read my NaNo unless they want a shock given to them =/

*tries to brainstorm more*

[JB]

Well...I've had another idea, I just don't know if I can make it last 50k words XD

Who Will Miss Me?

- A teenager (haven't decided if it's told from 1st or 3rd person view) ponders what the world would be like if he/she died. He or She immagines the reactions of family and friends as well as different ways that he/she would die (all death incidents are accidental and not suicidal). In the end, he or she decides to make the most of every day life.

[JB]

Okay, the title is now When I'm Gone named for the new Simple Plan single, which actually suits the story pretty well.

Characters so far:

Toby - A fifteen year old with a few... issues you might say. The poor boy is afraid of nearly everything, though he's quite convinced all of his fears are quite rational. Born with an overactive morbid imagination, he often imagines what would happen to him should one of his fears come true. Examples: Dying in a car crash, drowning, being shot...

Toby's Father - Naturally, he's worried about his son, and only wants to help him. Imagine how he'd react if he knew of the scenes that played in Toby's head?

[JB]

I'm rating my nano "T" for scenes of violence, death, and slight immaturity

SPOILER: Click to show

I'm okay, I'm okay! I'm okay, now, I'm okay, now. But you really need to listen to me, because I'm telling you the truth, I mean this, I'm okay! Trust Me…

Toby’s chocolate brown eyes that matched the colour of his hair looked around the room anxiously. The pale yellow walls were supposed to seem welcoming, but in truth, they were the farthest thing from it. His foot tapped the marbled floor somewhat impatiently. The dull grey chair he sat on was growing uncomfortable with every moment that passed.

The fifteen year old nearly yelped when a hand grabbed his shoulder.

“Cut that out, Tobe. This isn’t the end of the world,” the older man seated beside him told the teen sternly.

“It might as well be,” the boy hissed between his teeth. “I don’t need this Dad! I’m fine! I’m okay!”

His father rolled his own eyes that matched his sons. “You are not okay. Toby, yesterday you refused to get into the car because we might have crashed!”

“Well it could’ve!” Toby insisted, giving his father a fear filled look, only further cementing his father’s worry. “We could’ve been driving along when all of the sudden, BOOM! CRASH! SHATTER! DEAD!”

“Toby,” his dad groaned, running his hand through his thinning hair that was only a shade darker then his son’s, “when have I ever gotten in an accident? Has there ever been an instance where I’ve even come close to putting you in danger?”

“Well …no …but there could be! Dad, we’re always in danger! Every time we leave the house! Nothing’s safe! No where is safe!” Panic swelled up inside the young man. Even the room, as eerily quiet as it was, wasn’t safe. Anything could happen at any time to put an end to their lives!

Every word that left Toby’s mouth was only convincing his father of how desperately the boy needed to be there.

“Listen, it’s okay to be afraid every now and then, but this is ridiculous. Now, if you were driving with Dave, it’s fine to be afraid. His driving scares me too,” at the mention of the family’s friend, Toby bit down on his lip. The moment anyone got in his car, they might as well have been signing their death certificate. “but you’re safe with me. Really.”

“What about the other drivers on the road, huh?” Toby glared. “How do I know they’re driving safe and won’t smash into our car at any time?”

Sighing a slightly frustrated sigh, his father rubbed his forehead. “Okay. We don’t.”

“Exactly!” The young man exclaimed triumphantly. “My fear is perfectly rational! I don’t need to see a shrink!”

“Tobe, this lady can and will help you. She’s already done a lot for your sister…”

“Dad, she was raped by her best friend. SHE HAS REASON TO FEAR MEN!”

“Shh, Toby, don’t yell,” his father scolded, praying silently that they’d just take Toby in for the session soon, “and your sister was traumatized by the event. She nearly had to relearn every man in her life! She didn’t know me or Reed at first. I’m guessing she even had trouble around you for a while.”

“Yeah,” the dark haired boy admitted, “she did. But then she’s my sister. Since when have we ever been complete pals? Emmy and I are as different as our hair colour!”

Nineteen and the oldest of the three children, Emerald was born a golden blonde. Toby and the rest of the family all had dark hair. His sister’s hair came from their mother’s mother. While she liked being unique, her hair made her stick out like a sore thumb. Before it became apparent that she looked like her father, some even questioned whether she was really his child.

“You and your sister are a lot more alike then you think, Toby. Trust me on that.”

“We share your face, does that count?” Toby replied, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m not giving that a proper answer. Besides, neither of you look exactly like me.”

“That’s a proper answer, Dad.” Toby sighed. Crossing his arms, he allowed himself to slouch down on the chair. This wasn’t fair. He didn’t need to be here. He wasn’t a crackpot like everyone else who came here. Emmy... well maybe she wasn’t a complete crackpot, and she had been through a lot.

He let his eyes wander down to the floor. Swirls of red and brown mingled on a white surface. The colours reminded him of spilt blood splashed on the ground, some patches drying, some still fresh. That could have been my blood had something happened. Anything can happen! We could have been in a horrible car crash!

---

“Toby, you do realise that keeping your face plastered against the window doesn’t help me drive any, right?” The older of the two men in the car asked.

“I’m watching for danger,” the younger replied the best he could. His forehead was pressed up against the glass and his eyes darted about, scanning every object they passed. Any other vehicle that the teen felt was too close promptly received a harsh glare. He got many a few glares back. A few birds were given as well, which Toby was glad to return.

“Toby!” His dad gasped as he watched his son holding up his finger.

“He started it!” Toby said in defence, lowering his hand. “He was practically waving it in my face!”

“Turn around and stop flipping off people in the cars… I feel like I’m talking to my brother,” his dad muttered, and that made Toby smile. His uncle was known for flipping off young children, which was funny to his Dad once, but when the kids were born, it got really old, really fast.

“I’m around, I’m around.”

He felt the impact before it really registered in his mind what was happening. The roar of the shattering glass attacked his ears as the shards went for his skin. Briefly, he thought he might have heard his Dad cry out and call his name before the airbag exploded in his face and took him from the world of the conscious.

All around him, metal crumbled and glass flew as the car and the truck that hit them skidded across the road. Only when they had collided with a brick building did everything come to a complete stop. Including Toby’s breathing. Coughing the blood out of his mouth and gasping for breath, his father tried to see his son.

“Toby!” The man cried, looking at the bloodied face resting on the airbag. From the teenager’s face were dozens of glass shards. Streams of his bright blood poured down his face.

Heart pounding wildly, the man fought to get his door open. Grunting somewhat with pain, he managed to get the door open with a hard kick. From the outside, he could see that the truck had smashed into his son’s side. To his relief, when they had hit the building, the truck had slid away from the door.

How he managed to get the side door open, no one was sure, but he did. As gently as he could, he grabbed his son’s unconscious body and lifted him out. Laying him gently on the ground, Toby’s father felt anxiously around the boy’s neck for a pulse.

“Please, please, please, please, please…” his father muttered frantically, searching for life in the teen. “No! Toby, Toby!”

He lowered his head down near the boy’s mouth, trying to feel for breath. Instead, the skin on his son’s face was growing colder. Still breathing hard, the man looked down at his own hands. He couldn’t tell which of the blood was his and which was the blood of his son.

“Toby…” He whispered, tears brimming up in his eyes as sirens grew louder as they approached the horrible scene. Picking up his son’s body, he held the lifeless teen close as the ambulances came to a stop and people around watched in morbid fascination and complete horror. “NOOO!”

---

His father’s scream echoed in his mind as the teen came back to reality. Beside him, his dad flipped through a magazine as the clock ticked on. As the scene from his mind faded, he realized that he was still staring at the floor.

“Does the floor have you hypnotized, Tobe? You’ve been staring at it for like ten minutes and honestly, you’re starting to freak me out a bit,” His dad stated, looking concerned.

“I’m fine, just bored,” Toby replied, shaking his head a bit, hoping to send the images out.

“Well you won’t be bored much longer. It’s nearly time for your appointment then you’ll be talking to Dr. MacSpurren,” His dad pointed out, checking his watch and seeing with joy that it was nearly two thirty.

“Oh, that brings such joy to my heart,” Toby muttered as he rolled his eyes and slid even further down in his chair. “I cannot wait to tell her about the time when I was three years old, cutting up my daddy’s shirt. I’m sure that’ll unlock some great mystery of my mind.”

“Grow up, will… that was you?! Saffy got in trouble for that!” A smirk tugged at Toby’s mouth as his father shook his head. “Just please, don’t give the psychiatrist any attitude. She just wants to help you.”

“More like she wants your money,” Toby replied, now almost completely off his chair. “Can we leave and go home now? I’m okay, really! None of this is necessary!”

“Give me your sanitizer then.”

“What?!” The teen was now completely upright in his chair once more. “But, what if someone who was carrying a deadly virus walked by the car? Do you want me to get horribly sick and die all because I opened the car door without being able to clean my hand after? That’ll stay on your conscience forever. And I don’t think Mom would be too happy with you either!”

“That settles it; we’re staying.”

“But Dad!”

“Toby?” A voice said and both father and son looked over by the receptionist desk. The sugary sweetness the voice dripped made the fifteen year old cringe inside. “Dr. MacSpurren will see you now.”

“Thank you,” his Dad replied politely, then gave his son a cheerful yet warning look. “Go on, Toby.”

“I hate you, just so you know,” Toby said low enough so only his Dad could hear.

“I know, and I love you too, buddy. Now go on and get it over with.”

Reluctantly, Toby stood up from his chair and followed the over happy lady through a pair of doors. Before he shut it, he looked back at his father, who grinned and gave him a thumbs up. Groaning inside his head, Toby gave his dad an unamused look, turned around and followed the receptionist into the room.

“It’s for your own good, Toby,” the man grinned to himself and went back to reading while he waited for the session to finish. No one knew quite what had come over him as Toby had always been on the paranoid side, but something in the past few months had really shaken the teen. Maybe it was what had happened to his sister the years before, maybe it was something he read online, maybe it was something he dreamed as he had always had an imaginative mind, maybe it was something he had learned in school. Whatever it was, it had really made him over the top cautious about everything.

[JB]

SPOILER: Click to show

Hate is a strong word, but I really, really, really, don’t like you

“So how did it go, Tobe?” His father asked, sounding honestly interested as he kept his eyes glued to the road. If Toby caught him looking away at all, the man knew he’d be in for quite a lecture.

“Not as bad as I thought it would be. She wanted inside my head, and I told her some stuff… and she said some of the things I imagined would make cool stories,” Toby replied, looking a mix of confused and creeped out. Once again, he was staring out the window, but this time he kept his fingers to himself.

“Oh right, Emmy mentioned she might do that. Dr. MacSpurren is an author. Apparently she gets slightly carried away sometimes.”

“No kidding!”

“But really… how did it go?”

Shrugging, Toby looked down at his hands. “Not so bad I guess. She did seem like she wanted to help. Did she help? Not really.”

His father grinned. “You have to let her inside your head before she can help you. That’s what she was focusing on this session. You’ll probably start getting help next week.”

Toby groaned audibly and slouched back against his seat. “Must I?”

“Yes Toby, you must.”

“Fine,” the teen said unenthusiastically as he dug his hand sanitizer out of his pocket and squeezed a fair amount on to his hands. The disgusting squishing noise it made caused his father to cringe.

“Do you really need so much of that? I do happen to clean the car out, you know,” His dad pointed out, trying to decide between wondering how his son became such a paranoid person or being insulted that Toby thought the car wasn’t clean.

“It’s not the car, Dad. It’s the building, and the outside of the car that bothers me. How do I know someone who wasn’t sick with like Hepatitis or Meningitis or AIDS touched something in there? It’s better to be safe then sorry,” Toby nodded as he spoke, rubbing his hands together before returning to his post at the window.

“If you say so,” his dad muttered, stepping on the brakes to stop for a light.

“Yes, I do say so,” Toby replied, watching everything carefully. “And I’m not that bad, Dad. It’s not like I wipe everything down with a handkerchief before touching it. I’m fine around home and in the car, and at our Uncles… actually, I should probably wipe things down there …”

“Yeah that might not be a bad idea,” the older man agreed as the light they were stopped at changed.

“The point is, I’m okay around most things. Also, who’s the healthiest out of your children?” Toby asked, grinning, as he was now sure he held the winning argument.

His dad bit down on his tongue, not wanting to answer. “You,” he reluctantly replied.

“Hah! See?” The teen didn’t need to look at his father to know that the man was shaking his head and rolling his eyes. “Watch the road, Dad.”

“You know that your mom has a weak immune system, maybe both of your sisters inherited that! Ever think of that, Tobe?”

“Ever think of the fact that I might just be winning this argument?” For a brief moment, Toby turned in the seat to look at the driver. To his disappointment and pleasure, his father had chosen to ignore the comment. While this meant that he was indeed winning, Toby had been looking forward to a witty comment back.

Silence fell upon the two, making Toby squirm a little in his seat. Silence made him uncomfortable and allowed his mind to wander. If he let him drift into his imagination now, who would watch to make sure no one was too close?

Focus, Toby Brendon Errol he scolded himself using his first and middle names as he often did when talking to himself in his head. Watch out the window, focus on the moving objects. Study their distance…no, not that girl’s skirt! Although yes, that is a very appealing distance… Stop it! FOCUS!

---

“Nice skirt!” The young man called out the window as the car stopped at another light. Giving the now flustered girl a thumbs up, Toby raised his eyebrows and nodded at her in approval.

Her mouth hung open, a look of disgust and shock frozen in her eyes. In a smooth motion, her baby pink leather purse was in her hands and she was pulling a black object from inside. In horror, Toby realised a second too late what it was. Everyone on the street heard the short loud noise of a gun firing and glass shattering.

“What…TOBY!” His dad yelled as the teen slumped back unnaturally. His eyes wide open, they now wore an eerie glassy look as his life drained away from within. Dark blood oozed from the gaping hole in his forehead.

“DON’T LOOK AT ME!” The girl shrieked at the top of her lungs, her knees bent as she trembled uncontrollably. Waving the gun wildly at anyone she felt was too close, she staggered backwards before running full speed away from the scene. Her blonde hair flew behind her, the final thing anyone could see before she disappeared into the unknowing crowd.

“Toby, Toby, no, oh Toby,” his dad whimpered, getting out of his door and rushing around to the other side of the car. Pulling his son’s car door open, he grabbed the boy’s shoulders and lifted him up. “Toby! Toby, please, answer me! No, you can’t be… Toby!”

Hot, salty tears boiled up in the man’s eyes as his whole body shook with panic, horror and sorrow. Although Toby’s shoulders were pulled close, the boy’s head hung backwards, his eyes staring forever unseeing upwards. Quickly undoing the seatbelt, the grieving father pulled his son out of the car. Rivers escaped his dark eyes and ran freely down his face. Five minutes ago his son had been being a typical teenage boy eyeing up some random girl; now he lay dead in his father’s arms.

“Sir, he’s gone,” a gentle voice said softly, gripping the father’s shoulder.

“No, no, no, no,” each moan became more and more sorrow filled, tearing apart the hearts of all those who had one and heard his cries. “He can’t be gone! He can’t be gone! HE CAN’T BE GONE!”

“I’m so sorry,” the voice, who turned out to be an officer, said softly. “He needs to be taken now.”

“No!” The father cried, still looking at the stone face of his son. “My boy, my only boy… my Toby…” He whispered softly, pain evident in every word.

Holding the boy close, he ran his hand over the cool face, pausing a moment before closing the eyes he loved. Kissing the boys forehead, the taste of blood filled his mouth and nearly made him sick. None of this could be happening! How could his only son be dead? Lowering his head onto the boy’s body, the father now fully allowed himself to sob, not caring at all who saw.

---

“Tobe…” His dad began softly, bringing the teen out of his day dreams. Noticing that the girl was still there, it was all the boy could do not to yelp, but he did turn away quickly. “Don’t stare at her, most girls don’t like that.”

“No kidding,” the boy muttered in reply.

“Listen, I know you hate your mother and I for putting you in therapy.”

Toby laughed half heartedly. “Hate is a strong word, Dad. I just really, really, really don’t like you for it.” This brought the smile back to his dad’s face.

“Well I’m glad you don’t hate me for it, or your mom, but we’re doing this for you. It’s because we love you, Tobe. We don’t like what’s been happening to you,” the father explained as gently as he could without sounding like he was talking to a young child.

“I know, I know. It’s just… I don’t need it Dad! I’m fine. I’d just like to live to an old age. Like you have.”

“Gee thanks… I think,” an eyebrow was aimed at the teen, but he continued to stare out the window and didn’t notice. “Toby, I took chances when I was your age, and I’m fine. You don’t need to be afraid of everything.”

“Come on, I do take chances!” Toby replied, sounding somewhat insulted. “Did I or did I not enter the science fair last year?”

“Yes, you did, but I don’t think an ant farm counts as taking chances,” his dad replied, once again rolling his eyes before looking back at the road and hoping his son didn’t see.

“They were fire ants. Fire ants. That counts as taking a chance. That, and I kept them in a glass box. What if I had dropped the box, huh? Not only would the ants have escaped and bitten me plus maybe invaded my mouth and nose, but the box would have shattered. If the pieces went flying, they could’ve easily sliced a main artery and I would’ve bled to death!” His eyes wide, the teenaged boy looked like he was going to go flying into a fit.

“Now you’re just going overboard.”

“Oh AM I? I don’t think you grasp the grave danger I was in. And am in. Dad, the danger still exists! Everywhere!”

“Toby, do I need to turn the car around and go back to the psychiatrist, telling them it’s an emergency?”

Toby glared out the window. “No. But it’s true. We could die at any time, any where.”

The older dark haired man sighed and rubbed his head quickly. “I’m probably not helping you any by saying this, but you’re right. None of us know when we’re going to die.”

“See? See? You finally admit it!” Toby exclaimed excitedly, waving his arms about. “You get it!”

“That’s why we have to take chances,” the man continued. “We’ve got to make the most of life.”

For a moment, the boy didn’t move. He just stared blankly at his father, but slowly the hurt began to creep in. Sadly, he just shook his head, his dark hair that his mother wanted to cut swishing about listlessly.

“I thought you understood,” he whispered, his voice dripping with the pain of his emotional injury. “I thought you finally got it. I thought you finally understood for a moment everything I’ve been trying to tell you. Guess I was wrong, huh?”

“Toby, please…” His dad started, but stopped when he finally saw the look his son wore.

“Just watch the road, Dad.”

“Toby…”

“Watch. The. Road.”

Slumped down in his seat, the tone of his voice said that the boy dressed in black didn’t want to be argued with. In fact, all he wanted was to be left alone. Sitting in the grey interior car with his father wasn’t what the boy needed for being alone. As soon as the car stopped at the next light, Toby knew what he had to do.

“What’re you…” His dad started as he heard the click, but saw it too late.

“I’m walking home,” Toby announced as he flung open his car door and stepped out into traffic. Slamming the door and taking a deep breath, he made his way for the nearest sidewalk, holding his arms close to his body. Ignoring how close he was to all the vehicles was the only way he made it across the street without having a complete panic attack.

His Dad sighed and lowered his eyes to the steering wheel. “That’s not exactly what I meant by taking chances, Toby.” Reluctantly, he drove on when the light changed. “It’s a start, I guess. It’s a start.”

What does he know? Toby fumed inside his head as he stormed down the busy sidewalk, not caring who he bumped into. He’s been taking enormous chances his whole life and even taking pride in the injuries he’s gotten off of them. Dad’s the last person to understand. Why doesn’t anyone get it? Why doesn’t anyone get me? None of this is fair. I’m put in therapy for wanting to conserve my life. That makes me insane? More like that makes me smart!

An hour later, once Toby finally reached the average building that he called home, he had calmed down enough that he was pleasant at the dinner table. Yet his opinion hadn’t changed. Not a bit.

[JB]

SPOILER: Click to show

Chapter 3 - Savin’ Me

Hurry, I’m falling…I’m falling…

Lying back against the thick fabric of his blue quilt, Toby tried to relax even more with a deep breath. As upset as he still was with his Dad, he had to admit that he wasn’t nearly as angry as he was. He wasn’t even really angry any more.

“Why am I so different?” Toby asked aloud, running his hands through his hair and enjoying the feel of the gentle coolness of the fabric against his head. “Why am I so different from Mom, Dad, Emmy and Saffy? I’m family. I have the same genes. What’s wrong with me?”

Annoying yipping filled the boy’s ears. Raising his head slightly, Toby saw that the family dog now stood in his doorway. Small with dark brown fur, the tiny dog’s beady eyes watched him closely. Before he could even finish laying his head back down, the terrier leapt up on the teen’s stomach and lay down.

“Hey girl, do you know what’s wrong with me?” Toby asked sadly, stroking the animal. “I’m not like any of them here. I don’t get it. I shouldn’t be different. Shouldn’t I be like Dad, always wanting to do jump off who knows what with a guitar in my hands? Or Mom, always filming and perhaps getting a bit too close to the action?” The dog cocked her head to the side as though she were listening to every word. He sighed. “I don’t know.”

In the doorway was yet another female watching the distressed teenage boy. Waist length hair the same dark shade as her brothers and blue eyes, Sapphire couldn’t help but shake her head at the words her brother was saying. Being only a year older at sixteen, at that moment the girl couldn’t help but feel twenty years older then him.

“Nothing’s wrong with you, Toby,” She finally spoke, making the fifteen year old nearly just a foot in the air with surprise. Once he was sure his heart was beating again, Toby turned a pair of sad eyes to his sister.

“Really? You sure about that? Because I’m pretty sure that I’m pretty different, Saffers,” he replied, trying not to get angry again as he stared his older sister straight in the eyes.

“Are everyone in this family exactly the same?” The older girl asked, and Toby bit down on his lip before shaking his head. “See? So how can you think something’s wrong with you because you’re different?”

“Saffers, I’m too different. Emmy’s like Dad in the fact that she loves music, and although her first tour kind of ended badly, her heart is still out there on the road, we both know that. You’re like Mom, not only in how you look, but you’re always over thinking things! Me? I’m scared of death and the only thing I share in common with the family is I look like Dad.” He sat up on the edge of the bed and rested his elbows on his knees before laying his chin in his palms. “I don’t get it.”

Crossing her arms, Saffy rolled her eyes and sat down beside her brother. “You’re like Mom too, baby bro. I’ve seen your writing, and some of your doodles. Not only do you have a knack for both, but you’ve got an amazing imagination.”

“I’m only a year younger, Saffers. Don’t call me your ‘baby bro.’ You were a baby when I was born,” Toby pointed out, slight irritation in his voice. “And just…you know what? Stay out of my room. Stay out of my things. Stay out of my way.”

This caught the girl off guard. “I’m sorry, Toby, I… I didn’t mean to offend you!”

“Yeah well you did. Listen, if I want a pep talk, I’ll go to Mom. At least she actually cares and means what she says,” Anger blazed in the normally calm brown eyes.

“You… you little brat! You actually think I don’t care?” When Toby snapped at her, it ignited Saffy’s fuse. “If I didn’t care, I would not be sitting here with you!”

---

“You don’t care! You never have!” Toby snapped in reply, standing up off the bed and holding the now shaking dog close. “You’re always more preoccupied with being the wise big sister - or wise little sister to Emmy - to really care how we feel!” Storming past her, Toby refused to look back when she called his name.

“That is not true! I care a lot about you, but now I’m not sure why!” Following her brother out of the room, Sapphire continued to rant. “All you ever do is complain or get mad! Did you ever think about anyone else? What about Mom or Dad? How do you think they feel that their son doesn’t feel like he’s theirs? Heck, Mom only went through half a day in labour for you, not to mention all that she and Dad gave up to keep you happy!”

“Sapphire Ann, you are completely twisting this around! Stop trying to make me feel guilty for feelings I can’t help!” Toby yelled, stopping at the top of the stairs. “You know as well as I do that I can’t help the way I feel! I just… feel! My thoughts just come!”

“Change your thoughts, it can be done with a little will and brain power!”

“What would you know about brain power?” Toby hissed, his tone scaring the dog in his arms. She bounded off, watching the two teenagers from inside a nearby closet. “It’s too bad Emmy was the one born with blonde hair. You defenitly earned it more!”

“You little…!” Unable to control herself any longer, Saffy reacted on impulse and reached out to shove her younger brother. Her hands connected with his shoulders, and, as she had hoped, he staggered back a bit. However, what happened next was not in her plan.

Toby stepped too far backwards and his foot stepped out onto nothing but air. His arms flailed about to try and grab something as fear immediately flooded his eyes. Normally, their staircase had never seemed that big, but for Toby as he toppled down backwards, it felt as though it wouldn’t end. For Saffy watching at the top of the stairs, her brother’s fall was short.

“Toby, okay, you’ve had your prank now,” she called after her brother had been laying motionless for a few minutes. “I didn’t mean to make you fall, you know that. I have a short temper; you know that too! In a way, this is your fault for setting me off.” Still there was no response from the dark haired boy sprawled out on the black and white tiled floor. “Well you’re not bawling your eyes out so nothing’s broken… oh don’t tell me you’ve fainted or you’re knocked out…” Saffy muttered to herself as she descended the stairs.

Looking at her brother’s face, she sighed. He was out cold, or at least, he appeared to be. His eyes were shut and there was no sign of any movement. In fact, the more the pale faced girl studied him, there really was no movement. He wasn’t breathing!

“Toby?” Saffy asked, a slight shrill of panic seeping into her voice. “Toby!” Without thinking anymore, she dropped to her knees beside her brother. “Toby!” She yelled as she grabbed at his wrist. Nothing. No pulse. Lifting his head, she nearly lost everything she had eaten that day. While she may not have been a medical expert, even Saffy could tell that his neck was broken.

He was dead.

“Saffy, what’s going on?” Her mother asked as she came to see what the yelling was about. “I heard you… TOBY!” She screamed when she saw the body of her son on the floor. “Sapphire, call 911!” In nearly no time at all, the older woman was beside the boy as well. “Toby, Toby!”

“Mom, Mom, he’s dead!” Saffy wailed, panic tearing through every inch of her body. “He’s dead, he’s dead, he’s dead, oh Mom, he’s dead! I killed my brother!” Sobs shook her now as well. Tears ran down her face as she trembled from fear. “He’s dead! I killed him, I killed him!”

“Calm down, Saffy,” Her Dad told her gently, holding her close. Feeling someone hold her shocked the girl for a moment, but soon she was crying into his shirt. “I called an ambulance.”

“Daddy, this is all my fault!” Saffy’s words were broken and hard to make out. “I pushed him but I didn’t want him to fall! I didn’t want him to die!”

“He’ll be okay, Saffy,” Her dad said softly, even though he knew otherwise. Everyone in the room knew otherwise. Even the little dog who had finally come out from hiding knew. Gingerly, she licked the cold face before lying on her stomach and whimpering.

“He won’t be okay! He’s dead! He’s dead! Daddy, he’s dead,” Saffy cries slowly turned into moans as reality began to set in more for all of them.

---

“Toby Brendon Errol, are you even listening to me?” His sister barked, bringing him back into the present.

“I just love how none of us use our last name,” Toby couldn’t help but grin. “When we’re mad, we always go like ‘Emerald Louise!’ or ‘Sapphire Ann!’ or my favourite ‘Toby Brendon Errol!”

“We… do?” Saffy asked, somewhat taken back by her brother’s random observation. Tucking strands of her long hair behind her ear, she turned her attention to the slightly younger boy.

He nodded, his grin growing like a weed. “Yeah, we do. Heck, even Mom and Dad do that, which is probably where it started. We just started mimicking them and it naturally became part of our I’m-really-mad-at-you sign.” To his pleasure, Saffy laughed.

“I never picked up on that before, but you’re right.”

Toby swung his nose in the air and gave his sister an arrogant, triumphant look. “Of course I’m right. Toby Brendon Errol is always right.”

“Just like Toby Brendon Errol always gets the girl in the end?” Saffy arched an eyebrow, unable to help teasing him.

“Hey, it’s not over yet,” Toby reminded her, pointing his finger. “Carol will be mine. Someday… heck it might be twenty years from now but dear gosh I hope not… she will be mine.”

“Well… good luck with that,” Saffy grinned at the boy before standing to leave.

“Thanks. Emmy would’ve probably said something about ‘thank gosh I’m not gay,’ wouldn’t she have?” Toby asked, thinking of his oldest sister. Both siblings lowered their eyes as a darker mood fell upon them both.

“At one time she would’ve. Now… well, some days I think she’s completely lost her sense of humour. Some days I think she’s forgotten who she is. I know she went through an awful event. I know she was traumatised, but that was two years ago.” Her blue eyes looked down at the grey carpet, unsure of how to say exactly what she meant. For once, she didn’t need to explain herself.

“I know. I miss her. I miss our sister… our real sister,” Toby answered, looking down at the dog in his arms. “I was almost relieved when she moved out. The Emmy that lived here wasn’t our Emmy. She was an unpredictable stranger.”

“Unpredictable stranger…” The girl, who was only about an inch shorter then her younger brother repeated aloud to herself. “I like that. You’ve got a way with words, Toby. But I agree. She was, and still is an unpredictable stranger. Perhaps someday we’ll get our Emmy back.”

“Yeah. Maybe.,” Toby nodded, ending the conversation. The hint was loud enough for Saffy, who gave him a sad smile before leaving the room. Toby flopped backwards once again. “We’ve all changed. Maybe we’re just growing up, but if this is growing up… I want it to stop. I don’t like it. We need something or someone to save us.”

[JB]

As you might have noticed, I start every chapter with a song ^_^ These are the songs I've used so far:

I'm Not Okay - My Chemical Romance
Hate - Plain White Ts
Savin' Me - Nickelback
Been There Done That - Hedley

Warning: there's a lot of blood in this chapter.

SPOILER: Click to show

The clothes on my back are all I need to change about me…

As the daylight hours faded away and the moon rose in the sky, the family prepared for the night. Wearily, Toby forced himself into the washroom. Before he brushed his teeth or did any other of his nightly activities, the brown eyed boy stared at himself for a long time in the mirror.

“Are Mom and Dad right?” He whispered to himself, studying his reflection. “Is there something wrong with me?”

Lifting his hand, Toby gently touched the cold glass surface of the mirror, wishing he could touch his reflection. Perhaps somehow the teen looking back at him held answers. With a sigh, he lowered his head. He needed answers from somewhere else because he certainly had no answers for himself. All he had were questions, questions about himself.

Turning the silver tap and letting the water warm up as it streamed into the sink, Toby glanced back up once more. A smirk tugged at his mouth as he thought about what his father had told him either.

‘Besides, neither of you look exactly like me.’

Looking into the mirror, all the boy could see was a younger version of his father. Running his right hand over his nose, Toby decided that his nose was slightly shorter - almost feminine looking. But he didn’t completely have his mother’s nose, it was more a blend.

Lifting his bangs from his eyes, he studied them closer. Brown, defenitly his father’s eyes. Yet there were a few flecks of green, unnoticeable unless you were looking hard. The green was the only thing making his eyes unique, apart from his dark eyelashes. He had inherited those from his mother as well. Some days he was tempted to pluck them all out, other days he liked them.

Still looking at himself, he dropped his hands into the water. Yelping, he immediately withdrew them. Toby had left the water running too long and it had gotten too hot for his skin. Shaking his head, he turned the cold tap and paid attention this time to get the right temperature. Cupping his hands, he lowered his head and splashed his face with the lukewarm water.

Grabbing the nearest towel, Toby quickly dabbed it against his face, collecting all the water. His eyes wandered back to the mirror. Not sure if he was happy with the face looking back, Toby ran a hand through the dark, shaggy hair. It trailed down his neck looking somewhat untidy, but not repulsive. His mother wanted him to cut it, claiming that he’d never get a girlfriend if he looked like he had lived in a cave his whole life. Then again, this was the same woman who wouldn’t let him date until he was sixteen. Maybe he’d cut it once he was sixteen. Maybe.

Grabbing his toothbrush - the dark green one with the blue and yellow bristles - out of the old porcelain cup that the family used to hold the toothbrushes, Toby readjusted the water. Without thinking, he squeezing the tube from the middle, a habit he had that annoyed everyone else. Not caring too much, he dabbed a small amount on the top before dipping the brush in the running water.

After spitting the white, sweet, mint flavoured foam out of his mouth, he inspected his teeth. Perhaps he did have more of his mother in him then he thought. A gap separated his two top teeth, and he had what almost looked like fangs. The gap he didn’t mind, it often won him spitting competitions. His fangs made him feel like a vampire. While he enjoyed vampire stories, Toby didn’t think he enjoyed being like one.

“Toby!” Saffy called, banging loudly on the wooden door. “What are you doing in there? Other people want the bathroom too you know!” The thumping stopped for a moment. “Oh god Toby, please tell me you’re not…”

“No!” Toby yelled back quickly, turning a bright shade of red that he was glad his sister couldn’t see. “For your information, you sick minded prep, I’m shaving.”

“Don’t most guys do that in the mornings?”

“I’m not like most guys!” He replied, opening the cabinet and pulling out his razor. Shutting it, he examined his chin. Yeah, there was a bit of stubble that it wouldn’t hurt to get rid of now. “Go use Mom and Dad’s bathroom.”

“It’s occupied,” from the movement he heard outside the door, it was apparent that Saffy was leaning against the door. Part of Toby was tempted to fling the door open so she’d lose her balance.

“Then use the downstairs one!” He snapped with annoyance, pressing down on the can to release shaving cream into his hand. Rubbing his palms together, it was all he could do not to completely go crazy with it. Ever since he had started shaving, he had an urge to just completely muck up the mirror. One day, he decided, when he was home alone, he was going to mess up the mirror then clean it before anyone saw.

“Fine!”

As he spread the white foam over his face, he heard the soft thuds of his sister walking down the stairs. Often his grandfather had mentioned that Saffy got her grace from her mother. In other words, she had none. Toby grinned and accidentally got a bit in his mouth. His grandfather was never completely serious about that. It was more of a joke, but it was true. Saffy often tripped over her own two feet, stumbled on air and generally ended up on the floor.

As he ran his razor along his face, toby tried his best not to laugh. Any movement at all could cause him to slice an artery along his neck. What would happen then? He had locked the bathroom door. No one would know what had happened! He’d die of blood loss, curled up on the white linoleum floor.

---

Dragging the blade across his neck, the young man flashed back to a time when his sister had tripped over her own feet. They had been in a grocery store, and she fell head first into the squash. Naturally, she hadn’t found it funny, but the rest of the family had.

Trying his best to suppress a chuckle, Toby did his best to remain still. It didn’t work. A laugh escaped the teen, causing his blade to slip. It sliced through the flesh of his neck.

Cursing out loud, Toby grabbed his neck. Calm down, he told himself. It’s probably just a nick. Forcing himself to look in the mirror, the boy screamed in terror. Blood was spurting from between his fingers, flying onto the mirror, counter and walls. Everywhere it could go, it did.

Keeping one hand clamped firmly over the wound, he grabbed about panicky for a towel. Finding one, he pressed it as hard as he could against his neck. His head was spinning and he felt dizzy. Toby never had liked the sight of blood, but it had never made him sick before. Not like this.

His knees felt weak and he sat down on the edge of the bathtub. Why hadn’t anyone come to check on him? Didn’t anyone in the house hear his scream? Breathing hard, he tried his best to calm down. The more he panicked, the faster his heart beat. The more his heart beat, the more blood he was going to lose.

The blue and white coloured walls of the bathroom were splattered with red. While it could have been an improvement as Toby had never liked the colours much anyways, the sight of his own blood was making him feel light headed. Or was it the sight that was affecting him? The towel against his hand was beginning to grow sticky. He was still bleeding. That couldn’t be good. Lifting the towel up gently, blood spurt out once more.

The boy was beginning to have a hard time holding himself in an upright position. Before he knew what was happening, Toby collapsed off the edge of the bathtub and on to the floor. The towel, which really hadn’t been helping him much anyways, fell away and the blood continued to drain from the ironically small cut in his neck. Closing his eyes, Toby felt sleepy. What was happening? It was only a small cut! Men cut themselves all the time when they shaved. What had gone wrong?

Later on, the family’s dog alerted everyone else that something was wrong by barking at the door. Using one of his wife’s bobby pins, Toby’s father picked the lock on the bathroom door. Inside looked like a gruesome murder scene, complete with a body lying in a pool of blood.

---

As Toby snapped back to reality, he shuddered before realising that the blade was still against his skin. It sliced the soft flesh, making him swear out loud. To his relief, he had only cut his cheek and not his neck as he had in his day dream. Grabbing a band aid from inside the cabinet, he applied it over the tiny cut. Really, one wasn’t necessary as the wound was barely bleeding, but he didn’t want to risk an infection.

As quickly, yet still being careful, Toby finished the job. To his please, he didn’t cut himself after that. After washing his face once more and being careful to avoid the band aid, Toby cleaned the razor and put it back inside the cabinet. His can of shaving cream went neatly beside it. Using the same towel his had used earlier, he wiped the water off of the blue grey counter top.

“Honestly, Toby, you’re more of a girl then I am,” Saffy called as he walked by her room, backing up, he stood in her doorway as she blow dried her hair.

“Why do you say that?” He asked, gingerly touching the cut on his face. For some reason it had started to sting and he contemplated going and getting some disinfectant for it.

“Do you know how long you were in there?” She asked, looking up at him with a glare that almost seemed to cause her grey eyes to bore into him.

“It wasn’t that long…” he started, but stopped when Saffy laughed.

“Toby, you went in there at seven thirty. It’s ten to nine!” Saffy exclaimed as she went back to whipping a brush through her wet stringy hair and waving the blow dryer around. “What did you do in there?”

“I brushed my teeth, washed my face and shaved,” Toby answered, looking in disbelief at his sister’s digital clock that sat beside her bed. “It cannot have taken me that long.”

“Yeah, it did,” Saffy looked back up and grinned. “You’re just lucky Mom and Dad didn’t notice. Otherwise, you’ll be in therapy for a very, very long time my friend.”

With a shrug, Toby dismissed the thought. “I’m fine the way I am, Saffy. I just wish that they’d see that. I’m happy as I am. I’m safe as I am. The only thing I need to change are the clothes on my back.”

“Whatever you say little brother. But yeah, please go change now before I get a can of air freshener and completely soak you.” Saffy lowered her hair and attacked it with the brush once more. “I’m serious, by the way. Sorry, but you stink.”

“I smell like a man,” Toby declared, raising his arms in the air. “On second thought…I think I’ll go change. Have fun pulling all your hair out of your head.”

“Oh, I will,” Saffy grunted as the brush stuck on a large knot of her hair twisted together. “You’re lucky to have short hair.”

“It’s not short according to Mom,” he rolled his eyes. “Not that I care really. I like myself the way I am.”

“You go girl… guy… just go change,” Saffy replied, halfway between a grin and a groan.

[Deleted]

Really interesting so far, JB! It's a cool concept, and it's written really well.

[JB]

echo said:

Really interesting so far, JB! It's a cool concept, and it's written really well.

Thanks Echo =D Glad you like it ^^

[JB]

Well I'm not posting chapter five because, although I never mention the name, if you lived in Canada you could probably figure out where I work XDD To my knowledge, only two NTWFers know where I work. Oh well, it's not all that important to the story other then the fact that Toby quits his job. The death scenes not even all that exciting =P

SPOILER: Click to show

Every step that I take is another mistake to you…

“You quit your job?!”

“Yes, I did,” Toby replied, trying not to show his feelings at that moment. When he had gotten home, he hadn’t expected to be yelled at by his father for giving up his job. “It’s okay Dad, I can find another job that will be safer! Like Dairy Queen, or a coffee shop!”

His father crossed his arms and gave his son an unimpressed look. “What if you get frostbite or third degree burns?”

In return, Toby’s eyes narrowed. “Then we can sue them. Come on Dad! I may be afraid of death, but I’m not scared of pain. Look, stop worrying about me! I don’t get why you and mom think I’m broken. I’m not. I’m not broken! What if the new baby is like me? You’re going to ship it off to therapy too?”

The colour left the man’s face. “You…know…”

“Yeah I know,” Turning his back and shoving his hands into the black pockets of his jeans before slumping down on the couch. “When’re you guys gonna tell us?” Instead of an answer, an uneasy silence followed. “Dad?”

“We weren’t. Not until we decided…” His father took a shaky breath before continuing. “…if we’re keeping it.”

“WHAT?” Toby whipped around, feeling sick to his stomach. “Why wouldn’t you keep it? Dad, this is my baby brother or sister, your son or daughter! Why wouldn’t you keep it?!”

“Toby, please…”

“WHY DAD?”

“Stop yelling!” His dad hissed, looking around to see if his wife or daughter had heard. When they didn’t come into the room, he gave his son a sad look. “Toby, we’re just not sure if we want to bring another child into the world. Not when…”

“Not when two thirds of the ones you already have are completely insane?” Toby asked venomously, wondering if he really knew the other man in the room. Casting his eyes down to the nutty brown couch, Toby wasn’t sure whether to be mad or to cry.

“Toby, no, I didn’t mean it like that, but you are very neurotic and Emmy… or Emerald as she apparently wants to be called now…” The man sighed sadly, unable to look the teen in the eye. “Things are just hard right now, Tobe.”

“That means killing a baby?” The pleading in Toby’s voice was heartbreaking. “Dad, please don’t. If Mom’s set on it, talk her out of it! Please!”

“Alright, Toby, we’ll think about it, okay? We haven’t decided anything yet. If we decide to keep it, you’ll know.”

Unable to give a better answer, Toby just nodded before changing the topic. “I’m guessing Emmy called last night?”

“Yeah, she did. I don’t know what’s going on with her anymore,” his Dad replied, relieved the subject was changed, but wishing not to talk about his oldest daughter. With a sigh and after running both his hands through his dark hair, he sat down beside the teen. “She wants to be called Emerald now, spends her days alone and won’t even touch her guitar.”

“That’s bad,” Toby agreed, wondering what had made his sister snap. “She hated being called Emerald. Not that she didn’t like her full name, she liked the uniqueness, but she preferred Emmy as it sounded… more normal. The name was still hers, but…”

“I know what you mean, Toby.” His dad sounded tired and far away. “I wish I knew what was going on with her. I wish I knew a lot of things.”

“Me too,” Toby agreed, not sure how he was feeling. Part of him wanted to be angry with his father, another part wanted to be depressed. The end result became numbness, almost no feeling at all. “She still with Reed?”

“As far as I know, Tobe. She doesn’t talk like she used to. I think Em…erald only calls now to let us know she’s still alive or not missing so we don’t worry.”

“She knows us well, she lived here eighteen years. Yet we don’t know her.” Toby let a cold laugh escape his mouth. What am I, a girl? Toby wondered as another wave of sadness closed over him. “Dad, do you think we’ll ever have her back? The real Emmy, the one who liked being called Emmy-Lou sometimes?”

Toby looked expectantly at his dad, who seemed to be thinking. “I hope so, but I don’t know.”

---

Turning his eyes away from his father, Toby shifted uncomfortably on the couch. Something in the air, the mood of the room, had changed. Whatever it was, he didn’t like it. Looking at the sea green walls of their living room, he tried to distract himself or think of another subject to talk about. Suddenly, the couch shifted somewhat and Toby looked up at his father who was leaving.

“I’ll be back,” the man said almost emotionlessly, causing the teen to wonder if he should be worried or not. Trying to convince himself it meant nothing, Toby went back to staring at the wall as he listened to the footsteps of his father disappear up the stairs.

Flinging his arms over the back of the couch, the dark eyed boy stared off into space and lost all train of thought. Unconsciously, his hands ran along the fuzzy beige material of the couch. Eventually, he realized what he was doing and pulled his hands back to his lap.

“Great, I’m so bored I’m rubbing the couch,” Toby muttered.

“Toby, come here a moment,” he heard his Mother call from upstairs.

“Coming!” He called back, happy to finally have something to keep him busy. Jumping off the couch, he sent a few cushions flying. After shoving them back onto the piece of furniture, Toby bounded up the stairs, taking them nearly two at a time.

Once in the hall, he looked to see where his mother had called from. His room was empty - to his relief -; Saffy had her neon pink ‘do not distub’ sign hanging and the bathroom was dark. This left only his parent’s bedroom at the end of the hall. Seeing that the door was open part way, he headed there.

Sitting on the bed, facing him, was his Mother. Dark brown haired pulled back in her usual ponytail, she looked at him as he entered the room. Her grey eyes had no expression, but she beckoned him in. As he entered the room, Toby felt his stomach lurch. Something seemed wrong about the whole situation.

“Toby,” she started calmly, only further cementing Toby’s worry, “your father and I have had a discussion, and we’ve decided we no longer want you.”

“What?” Toby asked, shocked by the words that hit his ears. “Where is Dad anyways?”

“We’re not keeping you any longer.”

“But…Mom!” Toby started, feeling quite distressed. “Are… you kicking me out? I’m only fifteen! I can’t live on my own!”

“I know that, Toby, your father and I have no intentions of kicking you out,” she replied simply, not moving from her position. Toby took a step back. Where was all of this going? “We’re simply not keeping you around.”

“I don’t…” He stopped at the sensation that hit his stomach. It burned, and felt wet. Unable to speak, he looked down to see a bloodied blade protruding from his chest. Behind him, his father stood emotionless as well, holding the handle of the knife. His father let go, and Toby just stood there, gaping at both of them. “Mo…Da…” He stuttered, unable to make out the final syllable with each word as he choked on the blood that was quickly filling his lungs.

The last thing he saw was his mother standing up off the bed as he fell backwards. As his eyes grew heavy and shut, he saw his parents gazing at him, waiting for him to die. Finally, the boy drew his final troubled breath and was eerily still. When this happened, his mother looked at his father.

“Well that’s done,” she beamed. “That was easier then I expected.”

In response, his father nodded. “Yeah, it was. He was a mistake anyways, never meant for him to be born. Why did we keep him around that long anyways?”

Now, his mother shrugged. “I don’t know. All that matters now is that we have only our two planned daughters.”

---

Toby shuddered and grabbed his stomach as he came out of his dream. He must have cried out, because his father gave him a worried look.

“Tobe,” His father started, and grew even more concerned when his son flinched, “are you okay? Are you sick or something?”

“I… uh…” Toby took a deep breath to calm his nerves, exhaling slowly. “I guess I’m just upset over the fact that you and Mom are actually considering abortion for the baby. I mean… I wasn’t planned either, did you consider this about me?”

“No Toby, we planned to keep you right from the start. But… it was a different situation then,” the older man tried to explain, but was cut off by his teenaged son who was shaking his head sadly.

“No Dad, it wasn’t,” he replied. “It’s the same thing, only this time you’re thinking of… would you kill me now?”

“What?” His dad asked, looking at his son in shock.

“If you suddenly decided you didn’t want me, would you kill me?”

“No, never! Besides the fact that I’ll always want you, it’s murder if I killed…”

“That’s what abortion is. Legal murder,” Toby’s voice was a mixture of disgust, anger and sadness. “We’re not your property! We may be your kids, Dad, but we’re people too. You can’t just decide to throw us away.”

His Dad opened his mouth to speak, but shut it again and sighed. “Tobe, you’re right. You’re completely right. I’ll talk to your mom, okay?”

Toby grinned. “She’s easy to talk into things.”

Now, his dad grinned back. “I’ve known her longer then you have, Tobe. Believe me, I already knew that fact about her.”

“Good. It’d be sad if you didn’t,” Toby had almost completely recovered from the shock of his latest dream. For once, the dream had done more good then harm. “Have any name ideas picked out?”

“Well… no, because we weren’t even sure if we were keeping it until now, but that seems to have been decided for us. I do like Crystal for a girl, however.”

“Sticking with the gem theme, hey Dad?” Toby laughed with a roll of his eyes. “How did I end up with a name like Toby instead of… I dunno… Topaz or something?”

A slight blush crept into his father’s face. “I admit, I did consider Topaz, but Toby is your mom’s name choice. She wanted that. Brendon was my contribution, and Errol was picked by us both. It flowed with your other names, and it’s my middle name too.”

“Where did Brendon come from?” Toby asked curiously, putting his arms over the back of the couch as he had in his dream. It took a few minutes before his father had an answer.

“I’m not sure,” he replied finally. “It just… kind of came I suppose. You’ll understand when you’ve got kids, as long as you’re not scared of going to the hospital,” his dad couldn’t help teasing him.

“That’s like the most sanitary place ever. Why would I be afraid to go there?” Toby raised an eyebrow.

“True, true, but that all depends if you make it there. It’s a near death experience when your wife is in labour,” Toby chuckled at the look on his Dad’s face.

“What did Mom do?”

“Besides nearly breaking my hand? Oh…”

“Hey, you had it easy,” the female voice that joined the conversation sounded mock offended. Laughing as well, she sat down on her husband’s lap. “I’d like to see you both survive giving birth.”

“No thanks,” Toby’s father groaned as he wrapped his arms around the woman, who kissed him back. Toby pretended not to notice.

“Well it won’t be so bad this time, Mom,” Toby told her.

“He knows?” she asked quickly, turning her head to look at her husband who nodded gloomily. “Does he also know what we…” Again, Toby’s father nodded. “About that… I can’t do it. I can’t go through with killing our child. We’re keeping it.”

“Toby decided that for us already about ten minutes ago,” his father grinned.

[♥ Xivvy]

I may be out of line, but three cheers for you, JB, for writing that about abortion. That's exactly what it is, and thanks for putting that in! *applaud*

[JB]

elvenguardian said:

I may be out of line, but three cheers for you, JB, for writing that about abortion. That's exactly what it is, and thanks for putting that in! *applaud*

Thanks Xiv ^_^ Toby's views are my views completely *nods*

[JB]

SPOILER: Click to show

Remnants of a past here pass like light through dust as memories fall fleeting like pain…

Darkness fell upon the city as it did every night when the sun went down. The inhabitants began their nightly rituals to settle down for bed, and Toby’s family was no different. As the teen and his curly haired sister fought for the bathroom once more, all seemed normal for the family. As some know however, things are not always as they seem. In another part of town, this time of day meant that some headed down to the bar and drank until they either passed out or were kicked out. To Toby’s family, their world never collided with those who drank for a living.

“Okay, Saffy, really! I know I was a long time in the bathroom the other night, but that doesn’t mean you have to take a long time now,” Toby spoke loudly so that his sister on the other side of the locked door could hear him. Holding the navy towel and a change of clothes against him, Toby leaned against the door. “I have to shower still!”

“Go use the downstairs bathroom,” Saffy’s voice chirped back mockingly. Banging his head against the door with a thud, Toby groaned. “Toby really, there’s a perfectly good shower down there you know.”

“It’s not your night to shower though! What is taking you so long in there?” Toby asked, regretting the other night even though he hadn’t intended to take that long.

Through her voice, he could hear her smug smirk. “I’m shaving.”

“Sapphire Ann!” His face twisted in disgust. “You know what? Fine. I’ll go downstairs.” As he turned away, he could hear his sister’s triumphant laugh. Doing his best to ignore it, Toby stormed off down the once white carpeted stairs. Before going into the bathroom, he stopped at the kitchen where his mother was finishing the dishes. “Your daughter is a jerk.”

She turned to look at him, keeping her hands in the mountain of white, rainbow bubbles. “From what I hear, her brother is too,” his mother replied with an amused grin.

“Well you hear wrong. I know for a fact that that boy is smart, sweet, kind, gentle, good looking…”

“Humble?” She continued for him, getting a glare back from her son.

“Of course,” he replied finally, hugging his clothing and towel close as he left the room.

The night was a calm and usual one for the family. Even though the siblings had a minor quarrel, neither of their parents were concerned as it was a normal occurrence.

Eventually, the entire family was settled into bed. His hair still somewhat damp, Toby laid back against his pillow. The house seemed too quiet for him. Even though she had been gone for a year, Toby still wasn’t used to the silence that came when his sister left. When she had still lived at home, Emmy Lou would play guitar every night before she went to sleep without fail. According to her, the music helped calm her down.

Rolling over on his side, Toby tried to forget about his older sister. Through the darkness, all he could see were times they had spent together. He and his blonde sister had never been extremely close, but he supposed they were closer then he and Saffy were. Before Emmy had gone on her tour, she’d take him for sundaes, or just a drive in the family’s car. Yet the day she stepped off the tour bus and walked into the home, she was a new person.

“None of us know her anymore,” Toby whispered aloud to the darkness of the room. “She’s not Emmy anymore. We might as well be saying Emmy Lou is dead. In her place is the creepy Emerald.”

The teen had finally drifted off to sleep and resided there a few hours when a loud banging at the front door woke him. Blinking and looking at his clock, he saw that it was two thirty AM. Who’d be at the door at that time? Wanting the others to sleep, and letting his curiosity win, Toby flung off his blanket and flew as silently as he could down the stairs.

Opening the door, Toby received his second major shock in twenty four hours. Barely managing to stand, a ghost from the past stood before him. Pale faced and messy haired, Toby couldn’t believe the sight before him.

“Emmy!” He gasped.

“Brat. It’s Em…” She stopped, interrupted by either a hiccup or choking on a breath. “Emerald,” she slurred, staggering somewhat.

“Emmy,” he ignored her instructions, “what’s…” Toby stopped when the strong smell of alcohol hit his nose. No, she couldn’t have been drinking! Everyone in his family was against drinking, including himself and his sister. Yet there she was, completely intoxicated. “What are you doing here?” He spat.

---

“I… live here,” somehow she managed to answer. Toby shook his head in disgust.

“No, no you don’t Emmy. You live on the other side of the city in your apartment, alone!” Toby answered angrily, wishing he didn’t have to see his sister like this. Every little bit of respect he ever had for her was melting away quickly. “You haven’t lived here for over a year now!”

“Get out of my way,” the drunk told him as she tried to push her way in. Being only about a centimetre taller then her brother, she couldn’t overpower him. Grabbing both of her arms, Toby stared her deep in her eyes.

“No,” He replied softly but firmly. “No, you’re not coming in so that Mom and Dad see you like this. You’ve hurt them enough, don’t you think?” To this Emmy actually laughed, giggling like a five year old girl. “Emmy! Stop it!”

“Dad hurt me,” she replied at last, now depending on Toby to hold her steady. “He let Keith…” The liquor in her system didn’t allow her to finish her sentence, something her brother was relieved. If she had finished it, Toby was sure he would have done something violent to her, his sister or not.

“Dad would never let that jerk hurt you! Unfortunately, Dad was held up by fans, and you willingly went into your hotel room alone with Keith! Remember?”

Toby felt his grip tighten on the flesh of his sister’s arm. She twisted to try to pull away, but the boy was determined to not let her into the home. All he wanted was for her to leave before their parents saw her. Besides, standing in the doorway in only a light t-shirt and shorts in the middle of night wasn’t the most pleasant experience. Shivering a bit, he wasn’t sure whether it was his anger or the cold making him shake.

“Emmy, please. Just go. Leave before I call the police,” Toby finally told her after drawing a deep breath.

“You wouldn’t,” Emmy hissed at him.

“Yeah I would,” he replied honestly. The woman before him wasn’t his sister. She was a stranger, and he could call the police without guilt on a stranger. Right? Once again, she struggled to break free of her brother’s grasp, but he clutched the green fabric of her shirt too tightly.

“I hate you,” she finally told him. “I’ve hated you since you were born. You were never supposed to be born! You’re a mistake, the result of a drunken night.”

“Mom and Dad don’t drink,” Toby replied quietly, not looking his sister in the eye. “I know I’m a mistake. But I think you’re a bigger one!”

Anger burned brightly in both of their dark eyes now. Wrenching her arm free, Emmy gained a burst of strength and shoved her brother around so he was outside. Falling backwards, his head collided with the cement sidewalk. A river of blood ran down the sidewalk, hidden in the dark of the night.

---

“Toby, what’s going on?” Before his sister could answer his previous question, another voice silenced them both. Toby felt his stomach tighten. He hadn’t wanted their parents to see Emmy like this, but their father was coming down the stairs.

“Him,” Emmy muttered, her eyes narrowing as she realized who it was.

“Shut up,” Toby warned her. “You’ll regret it if you don’t, I promise you that.”

“Toby? Who’s… Emmy,” their dad said softly. “What’re you…”

“Dad, she’s completely drunk,” Toby answered quickly before his older sister could make anymore of a fool of herself. “She’s not sure how to get home.”

“She came home,” their father answered, taking the younger, blonde, woman who nearly mirrored him by the arm and leading her in. “How did she get here?”

“Cab,” Toby lied quickly. Truthfully, he had no clue, and was almost afraid to ask. His sister had never terrified him more then she did in this moment. “Did she wake up Mom or Saffy?”

In reply, his father shook his head. “No, they’re both still asleep as far as I know.”

Speaking softly to the girl, Toby’s father managed to get Emmy over to the couch to sit down. More of the affects of the toxins she had consumed were sinking in, making it harder for her to even hold her head up. Eventually, she laid down and passed out into a deep alcohol induced sleep. The two men watched her for a while.

“I know I wanted her home, but not like this,” Toby muttered softly. His dad was sitting on the floor beside the couch, running his hand through the blond strands of hair gently, watching his daughter with a strange emptiness.

“I know, Toby, I know,” he finally answered, staring into the blank slumbering face. “She looks peaceful right now, doesn’t she?”

“Yeah,” Toby agreed, curling up in the chair he was sitting in. “When she’s asleep is probably the only time she’s at peace.” Miserably, he shook his head. “I don’t get why she fell apart. I mean, she went out and got drunk! Emmy, who used to hate everything about liquor went and got herself drunk!”

“It’s a shock to me too,” Toby’s dad replied, getting to his feet and taking another look at the girl before forcing himself away. “Come on, Tobe, let’s head back to bed.”

“I won’t be going back to sleep tonight,” Toby replied as he got off the chair and hit the light switch. The room dimmed, but the light from the staircase was enough for the father and son to find their way.

“Neither will I,” the older man answered, allowing his son to go up the stairs first. “Toby, thanks for not getting mad at her or setting off her temper. She’s got a short fuse sometimes anyways, added in with alcohol…”

“I know,” Toby replied as he reached the top floor. “Dad, honestly, I almost did set her off. It’s probably good you came down when you did.” Shifting feet uncomfortably as he used to when he was smaller, Toby looked down at the ground. “She’s not the only one with a short fuse.”

With a sad smile, Toby’s Dad patted his shoulder. “I know that too. That’s why I’m proud of you. Things could have been worse, a lot worse. Emmy might not appreciate any of this now, but, and this is assuming she remembers everything, she might in the morning. Don’t give up on her.”

“I won’t if you won’t.”

After saying goodnight, Toby headed into his room.

“I’m the best mistake they ever made,” Toby grinned to himself.

[JB]

Random death scene that I like XD:

“Oh Toby,” he head a voice from the other room call for him. Glad to be away from his sister and his mother, Toby left his half eaten breakfast and went into the living room. Looking around, the room was empty apart from the furniture.

“What…” He started to ask aloud, but was caught off guard.

“TOBY!” A voice squealed as a blur of pink slammed into his chest and knocked him to the ground. “I LOVE YOU BABY BROTHER!” The weight of his sister was nearly completely on his chest and her hair fell into his eyes, blinding the boy.

“Saff…” He struggled to say, but air was having a hard time getting in and out of his lungs. Clamped around him tightly, this was the first time Toby realized how strong his sister was. The sixteen year old dressed in light pink pajamas was completely curled up on her brother’s chest.

“I realized today that I’ve never told you how much you mean to me!” Her voice was unusually high pitched and stabbed at Toby’s eardrums. “You’re the best little brother ever!” Wishing he could tell her ‘thank you’ and ‘get off’, Toby did his best to squirm beneath the teen girl. He couldn’t breathe!

In the kitchen, their mother and older sister continued to talk, unaware of the events taking place.

“What did Sapphire want Toby for?” Emmy asked, looking in curiosity at the door. “They’ve never gotten along, even when I still lived here.”

“A lot has changed with you not around, Emerald,” Their mother replied honestly, turning on the black coffee maker. “Saffy absolutely loves Toby to death now.”

In the next room, Toby stopped fighting and went still.