Murder Mystery '06: The Story

[Buddy]

Aboard the Seawolf…

It was night out in the middle of the ocean. Ducky and Buddy were up in the pilothouse of the Seawolf with Buddy at the helm. Not that his (first) mate Ducky wanted him there – it’s just that he had cried like a little baby every time she tried to take the wheel from him. He cries a lot, in fact.

Ducky squinted her eyes as she stared out through the glass into the dark, moonless night; all she could see was darkness. “Bude, do you know where we’re going?”

“Of course I know where we’re going!” Buddy replied, smiling. “I’m a guy! I have a great natural sense of direction!”

Ducky shook her head, still not convinced. “Maybe we should pull over and ask for directions or something.”

“Ducky, we’re out in the middle of the ocean!” Bude cried. “Where am I supposed to stop for directions? Oh yes, lemme just pull right over and ask that dolphin over there!”

Ducky looked at him and scowled. “Well, are we at least heading in the right direction? What does the compass say?”

Bude grinned, tapping the compass next to the wheel proudly. “It says we’re going the right way!”

Ducky looked down at said compass. It was pointing to the ‘W’.

“…Babe,” she said simply. “We’re supposed to be going south.”

“We’re going the right way!” Buddy repeated. “The compass says so!”

“It says we’re going west!”

Buddy paused. He glanced down at the compass, then back up at Ducky, a little confused. “…Is that what the ‘W’ means?”

Ducky blinked. “What did you think it meant?”

“…Right. As in, ‘Wright direction’?”

Ducky shook her head slowly, squinting at him as she tried to find the ‘wright’ words. “…Do you even know how to spell ‘right’?”

“Pssh!” Buddy turned back to staring out at the pitch-black ocean. After a few seconds, “Pssssh! I think it’s pretty obvious that I don’t!”

“Okay, you know? Gimmie that wheel!” Ducky reached over and tried to take control of the helm, pushing Buddy out of the way.

“No!” Buddy shouldered her back, fighting for his position as captain of the ship. “No, it’s my wheel!” he whined baby-like, pushing Ducky. “It’s my wheel and I wanna drive! I wanna drive!!”

“You don’t know where you’re going and you’ve been steering in the wrong direction this entire time! I got a 27 on the ACT – I should be the one steering!” Ducky grunted, throwing her shoulder into Buddy and trying to shove him off the wheel.

“The ACT doesn’t test you on ship-steering!” Bude replied, standing his ground. The two pushed back and forth, dead-locked in the battle of the wheel, each with two hands on the helm and each determined to take total control of it.

“Bude, I’m not gonna tell you again!” Ducky shouted, straining with all her might and weight to launch her mini coup-de-tat. “GIVE. ME. THE. WHEE— LOOK OUT!!!”

At that moment, two things happened: First, Bude looked up just in time to see a gigantic iceberg bearing down on the ship. Second, Ducky tackled Buddy to the ground, turning the wheel as she did so to just barely avoid hitting the iceberg head-on.

As the two of them hit the floor, the ship made a sudden, sharp turn – but not sudden or sharp enough. The ship shook and a loud “EEEEEEEEKKKK!!” filled the air as the side of the Seawolf scrapped against the iceberg. Several seconds passed with the ship shaking and the loud painful screeching sound filling the air. Finally, it passed as the ship made it past the iceberg and continued on, leaving the mysteriously-placed iceberg behind it.

The two were immediately on the feet, with Buddy retaking the wheel and Ducky not bothering to contest it, their earlier fight seemingly forgotten.

“Are we alright?!” Ducky cried, panic taking over on her face. “How much damage did it do?!”

“Shhh!” The two were suddenly quiet, with Buddy listening intently for the sound of any serious damage. After a few seconds, Buddy began to breath again. “Well, maybe we’re okay…”

But no sooner had he said that than a giant “BOOOOM!!” rocked the ship; the two were thrown forward, nearly off their feet, as the ship shook for a second time. However, this time, it remained leaning slightly forward, with the frontal part of the ship sitting lower in the water than the back, causing the entire ship to slant downwards towards the front and the two humans in the pilothouse to have to stand on a slant.

“Okay!” Buddy shouted over the loud sound of the ship crying as it began to sink. “Just stay calm! This might all be perfectly normal!”

Ducky’s eyes were bulging out of her head with something of a mixture of shock, worry, and fear. “Bude, I think we’re starting to take on water!” she cried loudly, her voice full of panic. “Hurry up and use the radio to call for help!”

“Oh yeah, now you want me to use the radio!” Buddy shouted in response. “Earlier it was all, ‘Oh Bude, don’t use the radio! Bude, get off the radio! Stop playing around with the radio, Bude! Stop calling people, Bude!’ No, but now you have no problem with me using the radio!”

“Yes, now I don’t have a problem with you using the radio!” the girl cried. “Now that we’re sinking and in the middle an emergency, I have no problem at all with you using the radio!”

“Pssh! You know what? You’re just a hypocrite!”

Ducky picked up the handset for the radio – shaped much like the receiver of a telephone – and shoved it in Buddy’s face, here eyes wide and her teeth grit angrily. “CALL THEM!” she growled fiercely, turning in one sudden swoop from a docile kitten to an angry tiger.

Buddy gave a whimper, shrinking down and giving in easily to Ducky’s demands as he took the phone. “Yes, ma’am.”

[Ikkin]

Back in the Forum

Now, when the earthquake had started, Ikkin had been in the Splatterboard, cleaning up the old Tabloids threads by herself (which, she thought, was probably the dirtiest job in the forum). Normally, she wouldn't have taken that job, except that the threads were starting to smell (to her own kitsune senses), but no one else really noticed yet (or, at least, no one cared enough to work to fix it).

In any case, she was by herself when the earthquake had hit, so she had no idea what was going on in the rest of the forum. All she knew was the instinct to survive... and the sinking feeling in her stomach that told her that there was some very bad magic around. There wasn't much she could do about that at the moment, though- an earthquake is not a good time to be trying to sense magical subtleties- so she did what she could do to protect herself.

A pressure shield, she found, worked very well against falling objects. Besides the fact that it took a lot of energy to keep up for extended periods of time... and the earthquake seemed to go on forever. So, as the earthquake raged on, Ikkin fought for her life, shield shrinking all the while, and hoped that it would end before her power failed.

[Spot]

***

Location: Tabloid Shop
Time: During the earthquake; assuming around 11:35am

Spot was upset. Oh yes, quite upset. The day had not begun well at all. Not only had a good percentage of the shop's inventory vanished without a single clue as to where or why, but now an earthquake. If there's one place you should not be during an earthquake, it's either around heavy or dangerous objects, or in a room full of breakable objects. And in the shop, there were rows of weapons for dueling, glass bottles containing ingredients and potions, and now even the once harmless soda bottles were shaken up.
Spot braced herself back against some wall shelves in the hopes of protecting the bottles from vibrating their way to gravity induced doom. She was merely rewarded with a bottle from a higher shelf shattering itself on her head.
The white leopard sputtered in surprise from the shower of dragon blood that had been in the bottle, and decided that shelter would be best for the moment. She grabbed a nearby shield and propped herself in the doorway to the shop's basement, hoping that none of the beast potions would manage to work their way free in the commotion. Spot waited for the quake to end, her bones vibrating, and the dragon's blood drying in her fur.

***

Location: Tabloid Shop Basement
Time: During the earthquake; also around 11:35am

If Spot could be called upset, Lycos was terrifyingly outraged. She had no idea what had happened to those potions and spells that vanished, and had made Spot take inventory at least a few times over. How anything could have gotten past her defenses on the shop security was beyond belief for her. Presumably, the only way one could, would be if they had a key and knew the password. Spot had sworn during Lycos' repeated interrogations that she hadn't told anybody, asides from giving a select few individuals access just to the fish freezer (like Huggsy. And other fish lovers. Fiiiiiish!). But that was set up so that they could enter via the side door, and the shop was still secure from that means of entry. Lycos would have to grill Chelsey about it later. The black leopard had a hunch that the third split personality of Spot might have been a bit too charitable with the shop's resources, and could probably be held accountable for this. Of course, she had volunteered to go to the island with the other forumers, and in the meantime invest in gathering possible wares for the shop, so she wouldn't be back until the rest of the forum returned.
However, the earthquake took prestige with angering Lycos at the moment. She had managed to find a niche where the still-boxed stock actually provided shelter for herself, but the sound of shattering glass and falling objects from the floor above made her fume. All she could do for the moment, though, was wait for it to end.
Well, she could do one other thing. She pulled a nearby brown box over, sliced it open with her claws, and pulled out a container of teddy graham crackers. She then proceeded to discontently bite their heads off and eat the crackers while waiting for the earthquake to cease.

[Rider]

[glow=red,2,300]"Meowthy! Get over here! You- Ah, never mind." Rider darted over, grabbed Meowth's paw and dragged her into her doorframe. "You owe me dinner."

The radio crackled and sputtered to life. "If this is Buddy fooling around with the radio again, I'll kill him," Rider growled. Ikkin was closest to the radio.[/glow]

[Buddy]

Aboard the Seawolf…

It was now pretty obvious that the ship was sinking. The bow (or port, or stern, or whatever part the front of the boat is called) was now painfully plainly deeper with the slant from the back to the front becoming even more slantier by the minute; water was just about to spill up over the side onto the deck.

Buddy took the receiver for the radio and held it up to his mouth, shouting, “Help! Help! Can anyone here us! Is anyone there?”

“Oh, gimmie that!” Ducky yelled angrily, reaching for the receiver. “You’re not using it right!”

“Noo! Stop it! Get off!” Bude pushed away Ducky and her reaching hands. “You’re a woman! You dunno how to use electronic stuff!”

“Oh, that is IT!” Ducky got both hands wrapped around the earpiece of the receiver and tried to pull it out of Buddy’s grasp. “When I get this receiver, I’m not gonna use it to call for help – I’m gonna use it to beat you over the head with!”

Without warning, Bude leaned in and gave Ducky a big smooch right on the lips.

Ducky stopped dead, stunned, her hands falling loosely from the receiver. “I… you… I… ummm…” she stuttered. “You… can’t do that! We’re having a fight! You can’t just lean over and kiss me in the middle of a fight!”

Bude grinned widely, taking the receiver and putting it up to his ear. “Hello?” he shouted into it. “Hello? Is anyone there? Can anyone here this? If you can hear this, please respond!”

[Crystal]

Back in the Forum

"Darn," Crystal whispered, sliding over a piece of fallen rubble. There was dust everywhere now as the ceiling fell in, and she was allergic to dust. Coughing, she pulled her ninja veil up over her nose and mouth, then scrambled over to the radio, avoiding the larger chunks of roof. There were other people closer, but she was faster. Sure, being faster meant that she wouldn't be half as stealthy and graceful as ninjas usually were, but Mindy would forgive her. Maybe.

Snatching the radio up, she shook it hard. The transmission was coming in all odd, almost like something on the other side was falling to pieces. Like maybe the ship. It must be something to do with the earthquake, she figured. Crystal might have been a computer student, but that was computers. Not radios with bad transmission in the middle of an earthquake. She didn't pay her college enough to cover that.

There was a rumble above her head, and she dove out of the way of a roof section, clutching the radio to her chest. "Please respond!" Buddy's amplified voice blared from it. "If you can hear this, please respond!"

Crystal gritted her teeth and pulled herself to her feet. The NTWF was falling in. Her lip was bleeding underneath her ninja veil. Responding might have to wait.

[Rider]

[glow=red,2,300]Rider motioned wildly for Crystal to grab the mic and run or something. The earthquake was slowing down.

Crystal brought the microphone to Rider. "Buddy! Come in, Buddy! What's wrong?"[/glow]

[Ikkin]

Ikkin saw Crystal for a moment as the ninja mod grabbed the radio and ran back towards the others. I should have gotten that, she thought vaguely, still fighting to keep her shield up. But if she's going back... maybe there's some sort of cover there... She decided that there was nothing to lose by following her.

Ikkin ran towards Crystal, who had joined Rider and was trying to talk to Buddy on the radio. The earthquake wasn't as powerful now... perhaps her shield could last it out. Maybe, she thought, she could even offer some protection to the others. Within a moment, it was more than just a thought- a chunk of rock fell from the ceiling right above the radio, and Ikkin instinctively extended the shield to protect it. It was still dangerous to be sitting around talking on a radio, it seemed... but, with the forum the way it was, with someone trying to collapse the forum with bad magic, that radio might be the mods' only hope. Please reply, Buddy... she thought...

[Buddy]

Aboard the Seawolf

“Buddy! Come in, Buddy! What’s wrong?” Rider’s voice crackled over the radio, coming through very much audible, but still with its own fair amount of fuzz.

“Rider!” Buddy shouted into the receiver of the radio. “Rider, we need help! We hit an iceberg… or, an iceberg hit us… or a combination of the two! Point is, we’re sinking! We need help now! Or, if not now, then hopefully in the very, very immediate future!”

Bude took a glance out on the deck to see how it was – and it wasn’t good. Nearly half of the front part of the ship had now sunk below the surface, with the water line now reaching up halfway towards the pilothouse.

[Ikkin]

It just doesn't make sense, Ikkin thought. An iceberg, in the middle of summer? In the waters the Seawolf would have been travelling through? Granted, with Buddy in command of the ship, the Seawolf ending up at the south pole was a distinct possibility... but something didn't feel right. The two events seemed connected- the Seawolf sinking, and the earthquake that shook the forum... and unfortunately, there was nothing much that anyone could do about either of them.

"We're in a bit of trouble ourselves," Ikkin said hopelessly. "There's been an earthquake... everything's collapsed... I don't even know if we can get out of the forum. I'll check the exits now..." she trailed off, standing up. She couldn't stand to do nothing... even if she couldn't help.

[Crystal]

Crystal caught Ikkin's arm as the kitsune stood. "The exits have collapsed, Ikkin," she said quietly. "We're blocked off from the outside."

[Nimras]

The showers frantic rocking seemed to be slowing down. Either the earthquake was ending, or Nimras had finally started shaking at the same rhythm as the room. Thank goodness, I don't want to go through that ever again.

Cautiously standing up, the Lupess made sure to keep a cautious hand on the wall for balance. I didn't seem like anything other than her would fall over now. Pricking her ears, she heard muffled voices coming from near the radio. If they think they can have Buddy and Ducky swing by a shop to get stuff to fix this mess, then they must have had something hit their heads.

Looking at the debris in the hallway, it looked like it might take more than just a couple new brooms to fix this mess. Maybe they're just calling to give them advance notice to why it looks this way - before those two think we had a full out ninja vs. pirates war as soon as the forumers left.

She finally made it safely to the Splatterboard, where she saw a mob of mods gathered around the radio, with horrified looks on their faces.

Buddy's panicked voice cracked on the other end. "Almost half the ship is underwater now, and it doesn't look like it's going to stop taking in more." Dung. It looked like it was a bad day all around for the NTWF mods. Just who did we tick off?

[Rider]

[glow=red,2,300]"Calm down, Buddy," Rider said. She met Ikkin's eyes. Indeed, something didn't fit. A couple of hours ago, they were within sight of a tropical island. Now, to be in iceberg-infested waters? Not even the Seawolf could travel that fast.

"Where are the forumers?"

"On the island, soaking up the sun while we're getting sunk by an iceberg."

"Buddy, where are the lifeboats?"

"I don't think she has enough lifeboats for everyone on board."

"Everyone on board? Meaning... you and Ducky?"

"... Basically, yes. We left the lifeboats back home."

"Why?"

"Thundy told me this ship was unsinkable!"

"He's Thundy! You're not supposed to take him seriously!"

"... Oh."

"Buddy, find a door or something that you and Ducky can float on. We're a bit incapitated right now, but we'll send help as soon as we can."

Ikkin raised one eyebrow. "You mean 'incapacitated'?"

*Gav'd*

"Whatever! Bude, Ducky, just... hang in there! Over and out."

The earthquake was slowing down significantly. There was still, however, a ceiling beam that looked dangerously like it was going to fall on whatever poor schmook wandered into the Splatterboard.

"We can't get to the radio to call Patjade," Rider said to herself. "Hey, how long can a person float on a door?"

Crystal shrugged. "Until the sharks get him, I suspect."

Rider decided that Crystal was joking. She had to be joking.[/glow]

[Buddy]

Aboard the Seawolf…

Buddy, still holding the radio receiver near his ear, looked up at Ducky, who had been leaning in close to the earpiece to hear Rider’s response. They both exchanged fearful looks, not quite sure what to say or do.

“Well…” Buddy began finally, trying to think of what to say. “I guess we should find a way to get out of here. We need to find something to float on.”

Ducky looked over out the window onto the deck. Nearly the entire front deck was consumed with water now, and the water line was getting dangerously close to the door. “Well, whatever we do, we need to do it fast!” Ducky said. “In about 5 minutes, we’re gonna be underwater! She glanced back behind her to see Bude digging furiously through cabinets. “What’re you doing?”

Buddy was quickly throwing open the doors to the various storage lockers around the pilothouse, throwing various unneeded items and knick-knacks onto the floor as he hastily searched for… something. “I’m looking for life preservers!” Bude shouted, tossing a wrench over his shoulder without even looking up. “A life preserver, a floating noodle, floaty-wings… something!” He stopped, pausing, and then turning around and holding up a large, completely deflated inner-tube. “This is it,” he said simply. “This is what’s going to save us! No, they couldn’t put, say life jackets or a life saver or two on the boat – they had to give us a deflated inner-tube, instead! How useful!”

No sooner had Bude finished his rant than water began rushing in to the pilothouse through the doors on either side which led out onto the now partially-submerged deck.

“Well, we don’t have time to complain about it now!” Ducky shouted anxiously. “It’ll just have to do! C’mon!” But just as the two of them turned and started for the door, Ducky turned back. Rushing over to the helm, she snatched up the radio. “It’s waterproof!” she explained. “We should keep it with us incase we need to talk with Rider or someone some more!”

With that, the two of them rushed out through the door to their right and out onto the deck. The water was climbing quickly up the deck, which was still slanted on a slope with the front part deep in the water and the back starting to be pulled up in the air by the weight of the water filling the front part of the ship.

Ducky and Buddy tried to make their way up towards the back of the ship, but another sudden vibration caused the ship to slope even steeper towards the back. Both of them reached over and grabbed onto the rails on the side of the ship to stop themselves from sliding backwards.

“Ducky, are you alright?” Buddy – who was using one hand to keep hold of the rails of the ship while holding onto the deflated inner-tube with the other – shouted, looking back behind him to make sure Ducky was okay.

“Yeah, I’m fine!” Ducky yelled back. “We’ll just have to climb our way up to the back by holding onto the rails, that’s all!”

Bude nodded, turning back towards the back of the boat, slinging the inner-tube around his neck, and beginning the long, arduous climb to the top. Hand over hand the two went, having to use the rails for support to prevent themselves from sliding back down the sloping, slippery deck and into the cold, icy water below; Bude with the inner-tube slung around his neck and Ducky carrying the radio in one hand, using her amazingly huge upper-body muscles to pull herself one-handedly up the side of the boat.

Finally, the two made it to the back of the boat, by now, the ship was easily at a 50-60 degree angle, and it would’ve been practically impossible to stand without the support of the rails. Ducky and Bude managed to grab hold of the rails around the back of the ship and pull themselves over onto what had been the side of the ship. However, now with the ever-increasing steepness of the slope, it was no close to being perfectly flat and level; certainly, enough for the two of them to sit on.

Bude climbed over the railing first, then tossed the inner-tube down beside him and reached back to help Ducky over next, who set the radio down just next to her.

“Hang on!” Buddy shouted. “Hang on tight!”

The boat suddenly began to tilt even further, swinging further and further until suddenly, the boat stopped and stood still. The deck of the Seawolf now sat at a perfectly perpendicular 90-degree angle to the water, with Buddy and Ducky holding tight to the bars on what had been the side of the ship, looking down at the churning, frothing, ice-cold water far down below them.

And then, the ship began to sink straight down.

“Buddy!” Ducky screamed in panic. “Hurry up and blow that inner-tube up!”

“Oh, why don’t you blow it up yourself?” Buddy shouted back, annoyed. “You’re the one who’s always so full of hot air!”

Ducky grabbed Bude by the collar angrily and pulled him close; a furious fire was burning in her eyes, and she snarled, “You take that inner-tube and you blow it up right now or so-help-me, I will take it, wrap it around your neck, and choke you to death with it! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!!”

Buddy’s eyes lit up with fear at his angry shipmate. He gave a loud, nervous gulp, and replied, “Yes, ma’am! Right away, ma’am!” He immediately reached over, grabbed the inner-tube, and began feverishly blowing air into it.

Looking back down through the rail bars, Ducky could see the angry, frothing sea below them coming ever-so-slow – though menacingly all the same – closer by the second. “Bude,” she cried, her voice anger now replaced with worry, “would you mind blowing that thing up a little faster?”

“I’m blowing as fast as I can!” Bude spat back. “Get off my back, woman!” Bude gave a sudden pause, looking off into the distance for a few seconds in thought before turning back to Ducky. “Hey wait… if we’re gonna end up in the water anyways, why did we even bother to climb up here in the first place? Why didn’t we just jump in the water down there and blow up the inner-tube then instead of going through all the trouble to climb up here!”

“Look, the author is writing this story on the fly!” Ducky shot back in response. “So stop poking plotholes in it and just inflate the stupid tube already!”

The Seawolf sunk deeper and deeper into the ocean, and the water climbed higher and higher up the deck towards the two stranded NTWFers; by now, the entire pilothouse was lost, and the water had eaten about halfway up the back deck, devouring more boat every second. The two doomed sailors hadn’t but another minute or two left before the entire boat would disappear out from beneath their very feet.

“Done!” Bude held up the now-inflated inner-tube proudly, only to, on closer inspection, frown at the final product. “Wait… it’s pink!”

Ducky snatched the tube from him and inspected it herself; though it was really only large enough for one person to fit through the center hole, the other person would probably be able to hang onto the side. “So what?” she asked. “What’s wrong with that?”

“Well… it’s pink!” Bude replied, motioning towards the tube. “I mean, I can’t hang on to that! It’s all girly and… womanly! Think of the rumours! People will question my masculinity! I’ll look all… girly! And I desperately need to keep up my highly-machismo appearance!”

Ducky glared at him. “So, are you saying you’d rather drown than be saved by a pink inner-tube?”

Bude paused. “…I’d… seriously consider it, yes!” he replied. “People have expectations of me, Ducky! When they see Buddy, they see the epitome of manliness and machoness! If I were to be seen in a pink inner-tube, that would totally kill my image!”

A beat fell between the two for a few seconds. Then suddenly, Ducky reached out and smacked Bude hard on the side of the head. “Shut up!” she shouted, pulling the inner-tube down around her without even bothering to consult her partner over who would be the one in the hole. “Stop being stupid! No one thinks of you as manly – heck, people sometimes have to double-check your profile to make sure you’re a guy!”

Buddy looked down at the rising water – now less than a minute or so away from them – and then back up at Ducky. Grabbing hold of the inner-tube, he leaned his face in close to hers. “Ducky, I want you to know something,” he said, taking her hand in his, his face suddenly growing solemn and serious. “If we die here – out here in this ocean – tonight, under the stars, I just want you to know that I…”

“Yes?”

“…Love…”

“YES?!”

“…Your mom…”

“…My MOM?!”

…’s chicken.”

Ducky blinked. “…What?”

“Your mom’s chicken!” Bude replied. “I love it! The sauce is just simple orgasmic – it’s tangy, but has a slight tinge of spice to it! It’s perfect! Seriously, if I ate nothing but your mom’s chicken for the rest of my life, I’d be in heaven!”

Ducky sighed as the water started to bubble over the railings and rest of the ship was engulfed by the water. “Just hold onto the tube, alright?” she said, making sure to grab hold of the radio so that it wasn’t sucked under with the ship.

[Rider]

[glow=red,2,300]Back in the Forum...

"Please, Mr. Ceiling Beam, don't fall on the radio," Rider whispered nervously.

As if on cue, the tremors stopped.

Rider, a naive New Englander, tried to remember what else was supposed to happen in an earthquake. Somehow, the word "aftershocks" was highlighted in bright pink in her mind.

"But somehow," she said to herself, "I don't think this is a normal earthquake."

Meowthy confirmed her fears. "The NTWF wasn't built anywhere near a faultline. I might be human now, but my werewolf senses are making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up all the same."

Rider turned the microphone on again and hesitantly stepped out of the doorframe. "Buddy! Buddy, Ducky, come in! Do you read me?"[/glow]