Issue 289 Reviews

[story von Bielefelt]

Our 7: Jeran by Storygirl
I looked at this comic earlier, and when I first saw it I thought it was great. The art is nice as well, though the Shoyru's hairline is different in the first two close-up frames. Still, though, a good comic.

Thanks.

That was my 1st time doing hair like that so it was hard to get it to look the same in each frame.

Our 7: Jeran by Storygirl
LOL. XD I sort of predicted what was going to happen just from the first scene, but it was funny all the same. The art was good -- I especially like Jeran, and the effect you used with the Shoyru's hair. Good job

Thanks ^_^

Ya, my jokes tend to be predictable. I'm better at suspense and and drama.

[Tam]

Thanks a million, both Wolf and Jason for reviewing my comic. ^_^ Trust me, I know where you're coming with with the text issue; actually, when I first previewed the comic up there, I was a little surprised at how very teensy the text seemed as well. Either I resized the whole thing without noticing just before I sent it in, or it got resized for me by Droplet. Hmm. Well, if I can get around to doing the next few parts, they shouldn't have as much illegible text. Thanks again. =3

[Deleted]

micrody said:

Grubwitch! by Tay and Pam
That was a funny joke. ^_^ The comic seemed almost monochromatic with the incredible uses of shades of brown, yet it didn't seem to be too much and the images itself were as clear to me as any other multi-chromed piece. Good job, both art and joke.

Thanks I think the pink on Ollie helped bring it out a bit and stop it being too boring.

reallyawesomedood said:

Grubwitch! by Tay and Pam
Funny joke. The artwork is also very good; definite props on that. All in all, quite good.

Thanks

[smudgeoffudge]

Thanks for reveiwing my story. I had fun writing it. I did get a little carried away, but I love my baby pet. I even like her redraw, though it is different.

[Deleted]

The Portrait: Part One
by really_awesome_d00d

This story looks really promising. I can't believe how crafty your writing is! All the details and similes meld together so perfectly, almost as if you carefully plan out each paragraph before you write it and know how it will influence the story later on. Also, you have an excellent vocabulary. There was only one *possible* error I noticed throughout the entire part with diction, which is awesome.

The two intruders continued their trek through the house in silence, only permeated by the sounds of their breathing.

Doesn't permeate mean to 'spread throughout' or 'disperse?' I could be mistaken, there could be another definition, or maybe to permeate can be used in the sense that you used it. I don't really know. o-o I still got the point of the sentence so it was no biggy.

There was a grand old legion of new characters in the beginning. Somehow you made it pretty clear who they all were, but I didn't see a point in having so many. Unless they all come back later on. I hope they all come back later on? Especially the Shadow Grarrl...he interests me for some reason.

FORESHADOWING! Have I ever told you that you're amazing at it? I think I have. But I thought I should reiterate that. Also, I like the characters of Nathan and Quentin so far. The plot's mysterious as of yet and I think there are a few enigmas waiting to be solved already. The connection between Mrs. Prynn and Mrs. Prenderghast, the story behind the portrait, why Mrs. Prynn's body was still lying dead in her bedroom... You've got me hooked already.

I'm excited to see how this one's going to unfold. Based on your previous stories, I know you have some tricks up your sleeve. Excellent first part.

[sarahleeadvent]

Outside Within: Web of Deceit

Beautifully done, as always. I like the interactions between Lord Darigan and D.A., and also those between Hadrak and Barlow. The latter certainly adds an ominous air to that part of the situation, and if there are to be any confrontations between D.A. and Hadrak, then I definitely look forward to them; for some reason I just love seeing thugs run up against somebody who can handle them.

I'm still having a difficult time gauging Hadrak's intentions and full trouble potential, which takes away a bit of the "Oh, no, are they going to be able to stop him in time?" that would normally be needed to hold some readers' attention; but the suspense brought in by Hadrak's threatening behavior and the all-around high quality of the story certainly make up for it!

[Tashni]

sarahleeadvent said:

Outside Within: Web of Deceit

Beautifully done, as always. I like the interactions between Lord Darigan and D.A., and also those between Hadrak and Barlow. The latter certainly adds an ominous air to that part of the situation, and if there are to be any confrontations between D.A. and Hadrak, then I definitely look forward to them; for some reason I just love seeing thugs run up against somebody who can handle them.

I think everybody loves a good thug-thrashing. ^_^ HOWEVER, that wasn't Hadrak who visited Barlow, it was one of his associates. I just re-read that passage and I can see how you would think it was Hadrak. Must learn to avoid that in the future . . .

I'm still having a difficult time gauging Hadrak's intentions and full trouble potential, which takes away a bit of the "Oh, no, are they going to be able to stop him in time?" that would normally be needed to hold some readers' attention; but the suspense brought in by Hadrak's threatening behavior and the all-around high quality of the story certainly make up for it!

Hm, I'm thinking your opinion of Hadrak has been altered by the fact that you thought the Techo was Hadrak. (Hadrak is actually a Mynci, you can look him up in the Neo TCG.) But I'm glad the story makes up for any lack of perceived power in Hadrak. ^_^

[Deleted]

guysteen said:

The Portrait: Part One
by really_awesome_d00d

This story looks really promising. I can't believe how crafty your writing is! All the details and similes meld together so perfectly, almost as if you carefully plan out each paragraph before you write it and know how it will influence the story later on. Also, you have an excellent vocabulary. There was only one *possible* error I noticed throughout the entire part with diction, which is awesome.

The two intruders continued their trek through the house in silence, only permeated by the sounds of their breathing.

Doesn't permeate mean to 'spread throughout' or 'disperse?' I could be mistaken, there could be another definition, or maybe to permeate can be used in the sense that you used it. I don't really know. o-o I still got the point of the sentence so it was no biggy.

There was a grand old legion of new characters in the beginning. Somehow you made it pretty clear who they all were, but I didn't see a point in having so many. Unless they all come back later on. I hope they all come back later on? Especially the Shadow Grarrl...he interests me for some reason.

FORESHADOWING! Have I ever told you that you're amazing at it? I think I have. But I thought I should reiterate that. Also, I like the characters of Nathan and Quentin so far. The plot's mysterious as of yet and I think there are a few enigmas waiting to be solved already. The connection between Mrs. Prynn and Mrs. Prenderghast, the story behind the portrait, why Mrs. Prynn's body was still lying dead in her bedroom... You've got me hooked already.

I'm excited to see how this one's going to unfold. Based on your previous stories, I know you have some tricks up your sleeve. Excellent first part.

Thank you so much, Guy! That was an awesome review.

Yeah, "permeated" means exactly what you said. For some reason, I thought it meant "penetrate", which it really doesn't. My bad.

As for the three characters at the beginning (Dr. Creed, Nina, and the nameless Grarrl)... Heh. I won't explain their significance right now, but their presence is partly because of my affinity for describing people. I'll leave it at that. (I'm not revealing their other purposes for the sake of spoilers.)

Anyways, I'm very glad you liked it. Hopefully some of your questions will be answered with this week's part...

[Deleted]

Yeah, I'm kind of a bad person, but I'm just gonna go ahead and read part two now in the unfinished issue 290. ^_^; Can't help myself.

[Deleted]

Revenge and Resistance: Part Four by Dan
I just took the time to read the three preceding parts, and I must say, I am very impressed, Dan. Great job. I've really enjoyed it so far. What I love the most is probably the fact that you FINALLY show Dr. Sloth as a capable villain -- it's become so cliched to have him portrayed as merely misunderstood, or a childish fool. I really appreciate that. ;D

I really like how you portray the jealousy that exists between Sloth's minions, and Sophix's narcissism. You got me laughing when she said that remaining as a Buzz would be the worst punishment she could ever get; it just seemed so much like I had always envisioned her.

Garoo's defection seems sort of out of the blue, though. >_> He never seemed to me to be the type who would suddenly just quit his master. Not to mention his immediate reaction isn't to just fade into obscurity: it's to join the rebellion. I dunno. It just seems a bit uncharacteristic of him, to me anyways.

Apart from that, though, I really like this series. You've got me hooked; I'm definitely going to read it from now on. Great work.

[Dan]

reallyawesomedood said:

Revenge and Resistance: Part Four by Dan
I just took the time to read the three preceding parts, and I must say, I am very impressed, Dan. Great job. I've really enjoyed it so far. What I love the most is probably the fact that you FINALLY show Dr. Sloth as a capable villain -- it's become so cliched to have him portrayed as merely misunderstood, or a childish fool. I really appreciate that. ;D

I really like how you portray the jealousy that exists between Sloth's minions, and Sophix's narcissism. You got me laughing when she said that remaining as a Buzz would be the worst punishment she could ever get; it just seemed so much like I had always envisioned her.

Garoo's defection seems sort of out of the blue, though. >_> He never seemed to me to be the type who would suddenly just quit his master. Not to mention his immediate reaction isn't to just fade into obscurity: it's to join the rebellion. I dunno. It just seems a bit uncharacteristic of him, to me anyways.

Apart from that, though, I really like this series. You've got me hooked; I'm definitely going to read it from now on. Great work.

Thanks for taking the time! I appreciate it. ^_^

And I'm glad you think Sloth is depicted as a capable villain--that was my basis for the story. XD In later parts, in fact, I had to edit out some of what he did because of violence. >_> XD

Thanks again!

[Tashni]

Revenge and Resistance by Dan - Okay, so for Part 3, I really liked how Gormas saw Kreludor as a completely new place. It was really good. His guilt over what he did was good, too. You're developing a nice character! The one thing I wasn't crazy about it how quickly he sprung on Cylara and Gorix his planned Resistance. After all, if he's to be successful, he's going to need to be careful and secretive. Other than that, good job on part 3!

Part 4: REALLY good! I am loving seeing Garoo bertray his master. He always did strike me as proud, and I really like the way you're developing him. I'm also excited to see what happens with Skyrfire. ^_^

[Kitty logged out]

micrody said:

True Story by Kitty
That was such a good story! It was really fun to listen to and watch Blake tell his stories when we all knew they weren't real but he insisted on saying they were. Then, how everybody abandoned him, was really nice. Well, not "nice," you know, but it was written well. It was really precious when Blake and Tommy made up and everyone started listening to their stories. I really enjoyed it.

The ending, the one succinct, "True Story," was really perfect. It turned this story from something great into something incredible. Wonderful execution.

Thanks for the review. I probably should have edited it more to make sure there were no words missing. Sorry about that. I'm glad you still liked it after all.

I have a question. I love the picture they chose for the story. But Blake's a blue lupe.

[Kitty logged out]

reallyawesomedood said:

True Story by Kitty
Let me just say, the final line of this story was what stuck out the most. It was memorable, and frankly, just perfect. Your cast of characters was very believable. I could very much relate to this story; when I was little, I was a pathological liar. I'd tell stories just to see if people would believe them, and half the time, they did. As such, this was an interesting read.

As for criticisms... Well, although I did like your cast, Angela's character seemed sort of just... there. Honestly, I think you could have done without her; the children could have just figured out on their own that Blake's stories were all fake, and there would have been the same result. You also seem to use "True Story" and "True story" interchangeably whenever Blake speaks, which was inconsistent. (Maybe I'm the only one bothered by this, but I thought I'd point it out.)

Anyways, I liked this story very much. Again, the ending was simply perfect. Good job.

Another review. I'm glad I haven't been forgotton even though I haven't been around much. Or at all. And I'm sorry I can't review any one elses.

I'm glad you liked this. I tried in this piece to keep characters consistant. Especially Blake. And I never thought about it, but you're right, Angela's role is almost nil. I guess she seemed more important in my head. This is one of those cases where I started out with a main character and then decided her role in the plot. She was originally a subtle love interest, and much more important than any of the other children. But the way I ended up writing it, her part was dimiminshed.

And just because I feel like this needed to be explained somewhere. This piece is a tribute. There are two men who have a performance with singing and story telling and my youth group (who I love to pieces) goes to see them once a year or so. At the end of their outragous stories they always say "True Story". It's become a little bit of a joke in my youth group, and this is a tribute to the performers and my youth group.

I was actually very worried when I first wrote this piece that it would end up sounding forced, as I based the whole story off that one part. So I'm especially glad that the story sounded good.

[Deleted]

The Portrait: Part One by Jason
True to the name, this began like a portrait: a beautiful and wondrous image that was full of both depth and an abundance of details. I was enthralled reading it, very entranced, but sometimes the description was a tad bit overwhelming and I had to reread some parts. It was, to me, like a still frame suddenly put in motion when the action began, though that wasn't bad in any manner, mind you.

And then Mrs. Prynn died. I was astounded when I saw that: a death as clear as that in the NT is something I never would have imagined seeing, or reading, rather. Nevertheless, it was both touching and tasteful, not over-done, but done right. I'm not easily affected by deaths so early on in a piece, but here, the characters were so vividly defined already that it was hard not to be affected, not to be saddened, by this so skillfully-written death.

The town scene was very informative, but nothing was "told," as things were rather beautifully instead "shown" through their dialogue. It also conjured a wonderful image Mrs. Prynn's manor and her life and of the town itself. Very clear, very vivid...very much like a portrait.

The end implies heavily, I feel, that the fifth "individual" that had been in the room was the portrait, perhaps of Mrs. Prynn's daughter, who perhaps had been Elise. Still, that is only a possibility, and the possibilities here remain endless...

I am left with many question, much intrigue, and a great eagerness for the next part. This was amazing, and I'm still amazed by every facet of it.