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Post by Huntress on Apr 28, 2007 8:13:53 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2007 15:19:38 GMT -5
This board is rather quiet today... *echo echo echo* Maybe Neopets' new layout is to blame...? Anyways, the receivers of lengthy reviews might find this article to be of interest. I now return to my regularly scheduled reviewing. Grubwitch! by Tay and PamThat was a funny joke. ^_^ The comic seemed almost monochromatic with the incredible uses of shades of brown, yet it didn't seem to be too much and the images itself were as clear to me as any other multi-chromed piece. Good job, both art and joke. Snowbeast Snackrifice by frzngonz and scarvogueAww, that is just so, so, sooo...ADORABLE! That comic just made my day. Please, don't ask my smile to go away, because it's here to stay, I must say. ^_^ Shiny by TamiaAside from the fact that the text seemed really small, too small for my likings, the art was simply mind-blowing and the story was both touching (earlier on) and hilarious (the house pun). Good job, Tamia. The Gallion Ranch by Hakuryu and PacmaniteROFL!!! As always, I found this hilarious and the expressions were all great; the action scenes, too, were really well-done, I feel. I just loved this comic; great job. The Bunker by HubadawahaI liked this comic a lot, and I really like how you continuously build upon the previous comics. The blurriness, though, was really apparent and took away from the art's goodness, I feel. On the plus side, though, your spoon was quite obviously a spoon (which made the caption seem out of place for me). Overall, another good comic, and I await more. Our 7: Jeran by StorygirlI looked at this comic earlier, and when I first saw it I thought it was great. The art is nice as well, though the Shoyru's hairline is different in the first two close-up frames. Still, though, a good comic. |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2007 16:45:02 GMT -5
Catching Up: Part Twelve by Fj0rd
The End. ...But I don't want it over.
Fj0rd, this has been an amazing series. It has been quite possibly the best thing I've read in the NT. There was simply something about it, a smoothness to it, a great skill, that made it seem unlike anything else to me. And I loved all of it. This was amazing, Fj0rd, simply amazing.
The conclusion wrapped things, certainly, giving hope for reconciliation even if the catching up itself didn't occur. But I wish it didn't end there. I honestly wish it could have gone on, and on, and on.
Great job. Very great job.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2007 18:25:17 GMT -5
Dark Friend: Part Two by PFA
Well, so much happened, I'm actually surprised how big the scrollbar was! I can't say exactly where this might be heading now, but the inclusion of more new characters actually went over well. I think you could have probably substituted more species references in with your names and pronouns to make sure the characters are firm in the reader's mind, though it wasn't too bad in recognising everyone.
With the princess calling after Yollinda, and only the Kougra hearing her, and with Aillira and Cyndon staying in town, and with Wanda finally making her clothes fit right (loved that, by the way), I see something massive gathering here, PFA. And I'm eager to read more.
Outsider Within: Web of Deceit - Part Three by Tashni
This was another awesome part, Tashni. I am wowed every time I read this. It flows so easily from one part to another, and the information is so consistently given, even if only a little at a time. It really builds up the suspense, and the suspense keeps me coming back and craving more.
The way you ended this part unsettles me. I like to think D.A.'s a good character, a protagonist not an antagonist, but I think she's got this reader as fooled as much as she has everyone else fooled. But that, for me, only adds fuel to this burning mystery.
Revenge and Resistance: Part Four by Dan
That was an amazing part, Dan, really amazing. You continued to push the plot along, and everything made perfect sense. I have to still stand by what I said before, that this really has the feel of a genuine Neopets plot. And that makes me like this even more.
Garoo's abandonment of Sloth and Gordos' capture of Skyfire came out of nowhere, but was executed perfectly. I happen to think now that Sophix is going to get a promotion. A big one.
Running Faster than Destiny: Part Two by tj_wagner
I'm really enjoying this story, TJ (or what do usually go by here?). The interaction between Kari and her grandfather is really good, and the story that Gar is telling his granddaughter is incredibly compelling and quite enjoyable to read through their narration.
I noticed a missing word towards the end, and I noticed a couple places when "was" should have been in the subjective and been "were," but none of these really took away from the story. Nevertheless, it might be worth keeping an eye out in the future.
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Post by PFA on Apr 28, 2007 18:30:13 GMT -5
Dark Friend: Part Two by PFAWell, so much happened, I'm actually surprised how big the scrollbar was! I can't say exactly where this might be heading now, but the inclusion of more new characters actually went over well. I think you could have probably substituted more species references in with your names and pronouns to make sure the characters are firm in the reader's mind, though it wasn't too bad in recognising everyone. With the princess calling after Yollinda, and only the Kougra hearing her, and with Aillira and Cyndon staying in town, and with Wanda finally making her clothes fit right (loved that, by the way), I see something massive gathering here, PFA. And I'm eager to read more. New characters? ...Oh yeah. XD They're from the prequel, but yeah. Thanks for the review!  |
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Post by Tashni on Apr 28, 2007 18:49:49 GMT -5
Outsider Within: Web of Deceit - Part Three by TashniThis was another awesome part, Tashni. I am wowed every time I read this. It flows so easily from one part to another, and the information is so consistently given, even if only a little at a time. It really builds up the suspense, and the suspense keeps me coming back and craving more. ^_^ Thanks for your review as always, Wolf. I'm glad the pace is going well. That's been a weakness of mine in the past, and I think I'm finally getting over it. Good. |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2007 20:44:23 GMT -5
The Portrait: Part One by Jason
Wow, this series is off to a really good start! I love your descriptive imagery, especially the part about the portrait. It flows really well, and seems very real. I like how there's foreshadowing and suspense in some parts as well. I can't wait to read more!
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2007 21:10:40 GMT -5
The Portrait: Part One by JasonWow, this series is off to a really good start! I love your descriptive imagery, especially the part about the portrait. It flows really well, and seems very real. I like how there's foreshadowing and suspense in some parts as well. I can't wait to read more! Thank you. ;D I'll have some reviews up once I get the time. I promise.  |
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retired
Talkative Reader
I'm thankful I got the chance to meet all of you.
Posts: 364
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Post by retired on Apr 28, 2007 21:39:35 GMT -5
The Bunker by HubadawahaI liked this comic a lot, and I really like how you continuously build upon the previous comics. The blurriness, though, was really apparent and took away from the art's goodness, I feel. On the plus side, though, your spoon was quite obviously a spoon (which made the caption seem out of place for me). Overall, another good comic, and I await more. Thank you! ^_^ Yes, I struggle with the blurry. >_<' I try my best to keep it as clean as I can, but they're always so long that I have to chop the resolution down to get them to a small enough file. I'm trying to write them to be shorter, though, so hopefully the next ones will be less bleh. |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 28, 2007 22:25:01 GMT -5
Thank you! ^_^ Yes, I struggle with the blurry. >_<' I try my best to keep it as clean as I can, but they're always so long that I have to chop the resolution down to get them to a small enough file. I'm trying to write them to be shorter, though, so hopefully the next ones will be less bleh. I know nothing about image file sizing beyond logical sense, mind you, but wouldn't making the background white, simply with black borders around the frames, make the image smaller? Or does it not work logically? |
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Post by Tashni on Apr 29, 2007 0:57:52 GMT -5
Thank you! ^_^ Yes, I struggle with the blurry. >_<' I try my best to keep it as clean as I can, but they're always so long that I have to chop the resolution down to get them to a small enough file. I'm trying to write them to be shorter, though, so hopefully the next ones will be less bleh. Do you use Adobe Photoshop or another program? Also, saving as a .gif instead of a .jpg generally helped me with the blurry factor. |
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Post by Dan on Apr 29, 2007 12:22:47 GMT -5
Revenge and Resistance: Part Four by DanThat was an amazing part, Dan, really amazing. You continued to push the plot along, and everything made perfect sense. I have to still stand by what I said before, that this really has the feel of a genuine Neopets plot. And that makes me like this even more. Garoo's abandonment of Sloth and Gordos' capture of Skyfire came out of nowhere, but was executed perfectly. I happen to think now that Sophix is going to get a promotion. A big one. ^___^ Thank you for taking the time once again.  It's very flattering that you think it could be a real Neo plot. And as for Sophix...*keeps mouth shut*  |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2007 16:11:35 GMT -5
Falling by JB
This story was great, and it tossed me around like the polar bear at the zoo tosses around his deflated beach ball. But, I mean that in the best of ways. ^_^ (Seriously, you could watch that poler bear for hours on end!) At first, I thought Annai had died, and then came all this talk of unpredictability and happy and sad endings and I wasn't sure, because I knew some sort of twist was coming even if I didn't know what it would be, and then I thought Illossa had died--and such a twist that was!--only to learn that this does have a happy ending and both of them survived the incident.
It was an amazing story, a rollercoaster through the whole thing. I'm not certain if I agree with the idea that a paintbrush can halt/undo death, though I guess that might have been a misinterpretation on my part as you never did directly say the painting itself made Illossa wake up and she may have come to on her own. Regardless, though, the writing was really great, this was incredibly fun to read, and I enjoyed it a lot.
True Story by Kitty
That was such a good story! It was really fun to listen to and watch Blake tell his stories when we all knew they weren't real but he insisted on saying they were. Then, how everybody abandoned him, was really nice. Well, not "nice," you know, but it was written well. It was really precious when Blake and Tommy made up and everyone started listening to their stories. I really enjoyed it.
The ending, the one succinct, "True Story," was really perfect. It turned this story from something great into something incredible. Wonderful execution.
In the future, though, watch carefully for places where words might be missing. I ran into a couple of lines where it felt like a preposition was needed but it wasn't there.
My Little Home Wrecker by smudgeoffudge
This story was well-written and told a good story that I enjoyed reading. It sometimes seemed bogged down with a lot of unnecessary information, as in a lot of the longer paragraphs, though even these areas had a certain charm to them that I enjoyed experiencing.
I would have to say my favorite part of this story was toward the end, when there was more dialogue and more interaction beyond simply the owner telling us about her pet. It was really sweet how BabySmacks found a hobby, and it most-certainly made the title incredibly fitting. Good job.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 29, 2007 21:14:05 GMT -5
My Little Home Wrecker by smudgeoffudgeThis is one of those stories that you can't help but giggle about. I'd be lying to say I didn't find BabySmacks adorable. The mental image of a little baby Tonu in all of the situations you describe made me smile. Which is something I must commend you on: the imagery you evoke is astounding. I love descriptions, and this story left me completely satisfied in that respect. For criticisms: at the beginning, you seem to spend a good deal of time setting the scene, and it seemed a bit sluggish. The paragraphs were also rather large. Although I do love descriptions, some of it seemed a tad much. All in all, though, this was a charming story. Good job. You've officially made me consider obtaining a Baby pet, now; they must be really fun to write about. Falling by JBWOW. This story was deceptively gripping. I mean, it isn't a novella by any means, but you create suspense to great effect. I was gasping at all the plot twists near the end. At first, I was certain Annai died, then I started second-guessing myself -- and then Annai entered the room, and I was utterly swept away. That's a powerful story. As for criticisms, sometimes you seem a bit ambiguous. Maybe it was just my stupidity (which it certainly could be ) but near the end, I was thinking that Illossa had been painted ghost while she was comatose, which revived her, and then was painted blue again, but then she ended up being ghost, so I was confused. >_> I dunno, I think that just was me. But anyways, I must admit, I was a bit confused when you described Annai as wearing jeans... How exactly do Rukis wear jeans? XD Apart from that, though, this was an awesome story. I was very much impressed by how enthralled you got me with just a short story. Excellent work. True Story by KittyLet me just say, the final line of this story was what stuck out the most. It was memorable, and frankly, just perfect. Your cast of characters was very believable. I could very much relate to this story; when I was little, I was a pathological liar. I'd tell stories just to see if people would believe them, and half the time, they did. As such, this was an interesting read. As for criticisms... Well, although I did like your cast, Angela's character seemed sort of just... there. Honestly, I think you could have done without her; the children could have just figured out on their own that Blake's stories were all fake, and there would have been the same result. You also seem to use "True Story" and "True story" interchangeably whenever Blake speaks, which was inconsistent. (Maybe I'm the only one bothered by this, but I thought I'd point it out.) Anyways, I liked this story very much. Again, the ending was simply perfect. Good job. Grubwitch! by Tay and PamFunny joke. The artwork is also very good; definite props on that. All in all, quite good. Snowbeast Snackrifice by frzngonz and scarvogueWell, it's good to know that we aren't actually feeding poor, helpless petpets to the Snowbeast. XD Excellent. I loved the art, and the final scene is just hilarious. Shiny by TamiaThe artwork is amazing.  You got me laughing, which is always very good. The text in the first scene seemed sort of small, though, and the bubbles a bit awkwardly placed, but apart from that, it was awesome. The Gallion Ranch by Hakuryu and PacmaniteWow. XD I love the final scene. The artwork is very good, and the joke is quite original. Good job. The Bunker by HubadawahaFunny.  I liked the artwork, but as Wolf said, it was a bit blurry. It was also fairly obvious that the spoon was a spoon; I don't think the caption was necessary. All in all, very good. Our 7: Jeran by StorygirlLOL. XD I sort of predicted what was going to happen just from the first scene, but it was funny all the same. The art was good -- I especially like Jeran, and the effect you used with the Shoyru's hair. Good job. All right, that's it for right now. I may do a couple of the series if I have the time.
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Post by JB on Apr 29, 2007 21:34:40 GMT -5
Falling by JBThis story was great, and it tossed me around like the polar bear at the zoo tosses around his deflated beach ball. But, I mean that in the best of ways. ^_^ (Seriously, you could watch that poler bear for hours on end!) At first, I thought Annai had died, and then came all this talk of unpredictability and happy and sad endings and I wasn't sure, because I knew some sort of twist was coming even if I didn't know what it would be, and then I thought Illossa had died--and such a twist that was!--only to learn that this does have a happy ending and both of them survived the incident. It was an amazing story, a rollercoaster through the whole thing. I'm not certain if I agree with the idea that a paintbrush can halt/undo death, though I guess that might have been a misinterpretation on my part as you never did directly say the painting itself made Illossa wake up and she may have come to on her own. Regardless, though, the writing was really great, this was incredibly fun to read, and I enjoyed it a lot. Thanks for the review ^_^ I have to say, I'm quite proud of this story In it, I'm actually poking fun at myself =P Ilossa represents me. I'm always so morbid, so I wrote this as a joke xD Ilossa = Me Annai = Storygirl Although, the original plan was to have Ilossa die. It originally ended with "It was too late, and Ilossa fell." I changed the whole thing once I reread it, and after a conversation about morbid plotbunnies with Storygirl XD As for the paintbrush thing, I'm not too sure myself =/. I'm guessing that while being ghost helped Ilossa live (You can't physically harm a ghost, right? xP) I think in the end she came out of it herself. Falling by JBWOW. This story was deceptively gripping. I mean, it isn't a novella by any means, but you create suspense to great effect. I was gasping at all the plot twists near the end. At first, I was certain Annai died, then I started second-guessing myself -- and then Annai entered the room, and I was utterly swept away. That's a powerful story. As for criticisms, sometimes you seem a bit ambiguous. Maybe it was just my stupidity (which it certainly could be ) but near the end, I was thinking that Illossa had been painted ghost while she was comatose, which revived her, and then was painted blue again, but then she ended up being ghost, so I was confused. >_> I dunno, I think that just was me. But anyways, I must admit, I was a bit confused when you described Annai as wearing jeans... How exactly do Rukis wear jeans? XD Apart from that, though, this was an awesome story. I was very much impressed by how enthralled you got me with just a short story. Excellent work. Thanks so much for the review ^_^ I have to admit, I was worried about what kind of response I would get on this story. On neopets, I pretty much got no response (Two letters: one asked if she could post in in her guild [^_^], and another asked me how to submit to the nt [>_>]), but I'm shocked (pleasently!) by the reviews =3 Ilossa was originally blue, then got painted ghost after she fell ^^; Sorry if I wasn't very clear. And I have no idea how Rukis would wear jeans XDDD I thought about that after I submitted it. I was trying to draw the two and then it hit me: "O____o waitaminute..." |
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It's very flattering that you think it could be a real Neo plot. 
neo username - dan4884 
You got me laughing, which is always very good. The text in the first scene seemed sort of small, though, and the bubbles a bit awkwardly placed, but apart from that, it was awesome.
I liked the artwork, but as Wolf said, it was a bit blurry. It was also fairly obvious that the spoon was a spoon; I don't think the caption was necessary. All in all, very good.