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Post by Nut on Feb 18, 2007 19:47:50 GMT -5
Comics[glow=blue,2,300] A Really Secret Valentine[/glow] Hehe, that’s a cute comic. ^^ I imagine it does defeat the purpose if the card disappears before the recipient can read it. The “poof” scene was cute; I like how the valentine card is faded under the smoke. A simple, nicely paced comic. [glow=blue,2,300] Razzle Dazzle – Episode VII[/glow] I love the “what in Neopia is this” panel. XDD It was a great follow-up to the owner’s statement in the previous panel, where she’s clearly trying to hold her temper. You have great art. The blue Kougra is beautifully drawn, and the lack of shading only adds to the cartoon effect. I wouldn’t have minded seeing shadows, particularly under the bed and things on the floor when the girl is bumbling around on it, but the art is still great to look at. I particularly like the girl’s face when she’s facing her two pets. It looks like something out of an animation film, almost. ^^ My main critique is that the comic is awfully wordy. I’m not sure how you would’ve cut it down, but it seems like a few sentences could’ve been cut from the first yellow narration box and maybe from the radio reports. The joke is great though, and I like all the funny points along the way. A great comic, and I can’t wait to see how it turns out. ^^ [glow=blue,2,300] The Bunker[/glow] o_0 Poor guys. I liked how you drew the Peophin in the “ahem” panel. The panel after she casts her spell is a nice pause panel as we see the pets’ reactions. The Eyrie’s comment in the last large panel felt a little redundant to me because I could see it was a fruit. And grammar nitpicking time: There should be a question mark at the end of the owner’s sentence.  The best part of the comic is the last little panel on the bottom. XDD It made the comic, and I did get a giggle out of seeing the Turmaculus chomping on the apple. It was fun to watch the Turmaculus’s expressions change throughout the comic. I had a feeling when he was ogling the apple that it wouldn’t meet a good end. [glow=blue,2,300] Our 7: Heart Attack?[/glow] Hehe, that’s a cute pun. It looks like someone opened a Bottle of Love on him. XD It does look a bit odd how the hearts all form a square shape. o_0 If it’s a pile, it should look more like a hill, with a wide base and sloping sides. Grammar nitpicking time: “no wheres” should be “nowhere”. [glow=blue,2,300] Refugees[/glow] Ooh, new character. I like how you draw their little sister, so happy and eager. I love Shad’s “Oh dear sweet Fyora, this won’t end well” face. It just fits so well with the comment. XD The decorated kitchen is really cute. I love the heart in the window and the Aisha in the background putting up ribbons in the tree. And Saura has a heart garland on his head. x3 Perfect little details that really show how much effort you put into your comics. I had no idea what the comic was leading up to, so the final panel took me by complete surprise. Hilarious, and lovely art. The little Pant Devil looks so cute. x3 And Balthazar’s so intent on reading the schedule on the wall. I do find it a little ironic that the Faerie Poogle standing under the “No Pink Allowed” sign has pink wings. o.o But overall, excellent job, as always. ^^ [glow=blue,2,300] Common Mistakes[/glow] Oh dear, poor Arnold. XD The last panel is great. I love Arnold’s expression, with his oversized bow in his mouth and his eyes saying all. The word balloon just drives his plight home. The art is quite cartoony and charming. It was a little confusing to me how the pets are looking straight at the items they’re holding in the first two panels; they seemed to be looking at them so intently that I thought they were doing something with them, like playing a game. I do like how the mummy ice cream (is that what it is?) is used to pin Arnold to the top of his game. I am glad that Arnold actually seemed to be provoking the girls on purpose to lure them to his game, because if it had just been an innocent misconception I would’ve felt bad about his predicament. *snicker* Spelling nitpicking time: “intrest” should be “interest”.  [glow=blue,2,300] Who Says Lennies Can’t Fly?[/glow] The art looks very official. The drawings in the first couple of panels, particularly of the Lenny and the Brown Pteri, look like TNT drew them. ^^ The background, in contrast, is rather scribbly, but I think it works together well. The Lenny’s expressions are great, especially in the computation panel. I love how he struggles to get off the ground. In fact, both of those two silent panels are good; they work well without dialogue. The art carries the story perfectly. At first I admit I didn’t quite get where the catapult had come from, but eventually realized that the Lenny had used his super brain power and apparently super quick building skills to put it together. Slight nitpick: the Lenny is looking at the reader when he makes his challenge, “Wanna race?” But the catapult is clearly going to shoot him to the right of the panel. It’d make more sense to me if his eye was looking off that way, so we’d assume he was addressing the Pteris. But that may just be me, and for all I know you planned it that way. I do love how you’re looking down on the catapult.  This was a really nicely paced comic with good art that transformed a rather ordinary idea into a great joke. Well done.
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retired
Talkative Reader
I'm thankful I got the chance to meet all of you.
Posts: 364
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Post by retired on Feb 18, 2007 23:19:04 GMT -5
The Bunker by HubaI liked the art in this, and the characters' front sides were all nice as well, don't worry. The first joke wasn't that funny to me, as I found myself expecting something wrong to happen with the spell, but the apple pie craving made me laugh. :) Thank you! ^_^ *phew* And, yeah, I added the part at the end since it was fairly obvious that something was going to go horribly, horribly wrong. >_<' In my original plans, the Turmaculus was supposed to have a little thought bubble that said "Beat her to it." as he chews a bite of the house. |
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retired
Talkative Reader
I'm thankful I got the chance to meet all of you.
Posts: 364
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Post by retired on Feb 18, 2007 23:32:08 GMT -5
[glow=blue,2,300] The Bunker[/glow] o_0 Poor guys. I liked how you drew the Peophin in the “ahem” panel. The panel after she casts her spell is a nice pause panel as we see the pets’ reactions. The Eyrie’s comment in the last large panel felt a little redundant to me because I could see it was a fruit. And grammar nitpicking time: There should be a question mark at the end of the owner’s sentence. The best part of the comic is the last little panel on the bottom. XDD It made the comic, and I did get a giggle out of seeing the Turmaculus chomping on the apple. It was fun to watch the Turmaculus’s expressions change throughout the comic. I had a feeling when he was ogling the apple that it wouldn’t meet a good end. Yeah, I probably should've just left the last panel at "oops" >_<' BLAST! I hate when I mess up the grammer! *pokes question mark and yells "Where were you?!"* Anyway, I luv Turmy! :3 |
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Post by Kals Spirit Avatar on Feb 19, 2007 9:02:51 GMT -5
One that caught my eye was Where Do Owners Come From?This article is a testament to how the Times is the thin line between the laws and doctrines of Neopian physics. For a long time people have been debating if owners exist, what they are, and where they come from. We could discuss it, but I don't have the time right now. Basically, I like it because it discusses Neopian physics. |
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Post by Nut on Feb 19, 2007 19:29:16 GMT -5
Short Stories[glow=blue,2,300] Fluff and Ribbons[/glow] This story surprised me. While the end was to be expected, I didn’t think that the change in Rorey would come about with such a dramatic event, nor did I guess that the tarts were the culprit. Jayne’s smile at the end makes me wonder if she knew how terrifying the treats were. Though I assume she didn’t, since she was transformed too, the fact that she made them does raise suspicions. I like your characterizations, of Rorey and Aly particularly. (Mean Aly is scary. 0_0 Such a drastic reversal of character.) The Pet Rock vendor amused me, with his threat to throw his wares at annoying customers. And I love the line about Jayne performing amputation on Rorey. XD I am a little confused why eating the tarts broke the spell, if the tarts caused the whole thing in the first place. Nevertheless, it was a very nice story, and I enjoyed it. ^^ [glow=blue,2,300] A Poem of Friendship[/glow] Aww, that was a sweet story. ^^ I liked how the first two sections of the story echo each other as both Tina and Veelen rush to school. I like how it switches between the two pets’ perspectives. It’s sweet to see how they both want to be with each other, and it feels satisfying to watch them come together. I actually like Veelen’s poem about hearts, although if I may be permitted to critique the meter, the last line sounded a little off. How is one tossed into an enigma? o.0 I guess it’s technically possible, depending on what the enigma is, but it sounded a little strange to me. Nasty Rateh. *shakes head* I’m sure Veelen won’t be going back to that poetry club anytime soon. The events leading up to the ending were a little…dramatic, what with the burning schoolhouse and rain coming at just the right moment, but it was still sweet to see Tina give her answer in verse. I enjoyed it. [glow=blue,2,300] Just Missed You[/glow] Oh, boy. Don’t you hate it when that happens?  What a shame. Although seeing what happened to Vira later on, maybe it’s good she didn’t pair up with Jeran. It’s too bad the pic is of Vira’s official form, because it gets in the way of picturing a beautiful Faerie Acara, but of course you had no control over that. I did enjoy this story. When I first read the title, I thought it’d be about someone reuniting with an old friend, but no. Throughout the whole story I was watching the coincidences prevent them from meeting up with each other and thinking, “No, no, no…” but in the end my fears came true. Not a typical Valentine’s story, but bittersweet in its own way. ^^ [glow=blue,2,300] A Clown For Valentine’s[/glow] I like the opening sentences. ^^ When I read the first one, I assumed this would be another story of pet abuse. So it was a pleasant surprise when I read the second and found that Sheri wasn’t a looming shadow of ultimate cruelty. And then, in the next couple of lines, I came crashing back down again. It was entertaining. ^^ Sheri’s a brat. I wished the clown had scared her more. I like how they all run and leave their sister with the clown, even though her weapons are in the attic. This feels like a realistic family story, and the last line points that out. Overall, I thought it was amusing. ^^
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Post by Lau on Feb 19, 2007 19:37:02 GMT -5
Thanks, Nut! It was probably hard to catch, but at first the tarts didn't taste "pink" and later they did. That was the hint I gave that their properties changed. And Jayne was smiling because of Rorey's change in attitude -- she really had no idea what just happened. I am glad you liked it!
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Post by Deleted on Feb 19, 2007 19:56:23 GMT -5
[glow=blue,2,300] A Poem of Friendship[/glow] Aww, that was a sweet story. ^^ I liked how the first two sections of the story echo each other as both Tina and Veelen rush to school. I like how it switches between the two pets’ perspectives. It’s sweet to see how they both want to be with each other, and it feels satisfying to watch them come together. I actually like Veelen’s poem about hearts, although if I may be permitted to critique the meter, the last line sounded a little off. How is one tossed into an enigma? o.0 I guess it’s technically possible, depending on what the enigma is, but it sounded a little strange to me. Nasty Rateh. *shakes head* I’m sure Veelen won’t be going back to that poetry club anytime soon. The events leading up to the ending were a little…dramatic, what with the burning schoolhouse and rain coming at just the right moment, but it was still sweet to see Tina give her answer in verse. I enjoyed it. Thank you for a long review. Well it was my first short story ever that I submitted to the Neopian Times as in the past I wrote two articles and the rest were comics. Yet sadly, I don't really like this story. The whole story is a little dramatic and kinda rushed. But I guess it was good enough for the Times. One thing to see if anyone caught it, all the name's came from a Valentine word. TINA & VEELEN = Valentine with an extra "E." Rateh = Heart |
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Post by Goosh on Feb 19, 2007 19:59:06 GMT -5
[glow=blue,2,300] A Poem of Friendship[/glow] Aww, that was a sweet story. ^^ I liked how the first two sections of the story echo each other as both Tina and Veelen rush to school. I like how it switches between the two pets’ perspectives. It’s sweet to see how they both want to be with each other, and it feels satisfying to watch them come together. I actually like Veelen’s poem about hearts, although if I may be permitted to critique the meter, the last line sounded a little off. How is one tossed into an enigma? o.0 I guess it’s technically possible, depending on what the enigma is, but it sounded a little strange to me. Nasty Rateh. *shakes head* I’m sure Veelen won’t be going back to that poetry club anytime soon. The events leading up to the ending were a little…dramatic, what with the burning schoolhouse and rain coming at just the right moment, but it was still sweet to see Tina give her answer in verse. I enjoyed it. Thank you for a long review. Well it was my first short story ever that I submitted to the Neopian Times as in the past I wrote two articles and the rest were comics. Yet sadly, I don't really like this story. The whole story is a little dramatic and kinda rushed. But I guess it was good enough for the Times. One thing to see if anyone caught it, all the name's came from a Valentine word. TINA & VEELEN = Valentine with an extra "E." Rateh = Heart Yes, thanks for the review. Rateh= heart? And I wasn't told? I honestly thought it was 'hater'. XDD |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 19, 2007 20:06:40 GMT -5
Well I had to think of something for the name "Rateh" so I did what you did and picked a Valentine word. I guess I forgot to mention it, haha, xD! But it sounds better using "hater" because he was a bad guy. I wanted to use "hate" but I couldn't think of a good name from those letters.
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Post by Tashni on Feb 20, 2007 0:06:22 GMT -5
CCR: Jealousy - Another good chapter! Is it strange that I am starting to have a little sympathy for Jules? Or do you WANT me to?!?! Anyway, I'm really anticipating the next chapter, and I'm avoiding that tempting little "preview" trick.
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Post by fipples~ on Feb 20, 2007 15:32:30 GMT -5
[glow=blue,2,300] Just Missed You[/glow] Oh, boy. Don’t you hate it when that happens? What a shame. Although seeing what happened to Vira later on, maybe it’s good she didn’t pair up with Jeran. It’s too bad the pic is of Vira’s official form, because it gets in the way of picturing a beautiful Faerie Acara, but of course you had no control over that. I did enjoy this story. When I first read the title, I thought it’d be about someone reuniting with an old friend, but no. Throughout the whole story I was watching the coincidences prevent them from meeting up with each other and thinking, “No, no, no…” but in the end my fears came true. Not a typical Valentine’s story, but bittersweet in its own way. ^^ Thank you! I know it's not a typical Valentine's Day story, yeah. Some girl that mailed me went like "dude, what a depressing story.. it's a fact that people read the story hoping for a good end" or something like that... and I just wanted to show it's not always like that in real life. Thanks for the review! ^__^ Can anyone else please review it, too? |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 20, 2007 22:33:47 GMT -5
Catching Up: Part Two by Fj0rd
I was rather confused as this began, as when you said the students arrived to thirty-four of the racers gone, I thought you had meant the actual racers, the Faeries, yet you then started talking of the students as though they were all there, so it took me a few paragraphs and some rereading of what I had already read to get past that rough start.
After that, it flowed smoothly, though I feel that nothing of much importance happened, which is somewhat saddening. I'm also a tad bit confused at the ending; it seemed almost as if in one moment Lianar and Patricia wanted to be grouped together, but then in the next it seemed as if they detested the idea. I suppose your descriptions at that time were a bit ambiguous, and so that led me the wrong way.
Overall, this was a nice part and I think it's definitely built a large enough playground for a lot of things to happen. And, yep, that's a compliment. ^_^
On the mechanical side of things, you once missed the subjunctive case. It's not a big thing, of course, but it's worth looking out for.
The Mirror of Memories: Part Four by Sytra
It's a shame that this was a Valentine's Day issue, or I bet that line would've gotten quote of the week! *gleeful*
Another wonderful part, Sytra. I quite enjoyed reading it, even though I often felt like shouting to Aina to pay more attention in English class! :) I just...I just don't think she's going to find the mirror when she wakes up, though I guess I'll have to wait and see.
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Post by Nut on Feb 21, 2007 21:22:05 GMT -5
Continued Series[glow=blue,2,300] Catching Up: Part Two[/glow] The fact that the classes will now consist of races sounds promising. I can’t wait to see how Lianar and Patricia’s group fares. I have a feeling the “rivals” will end up being friends eventually. The chapter, while seeming a bit short, laid ground explanations for later events. I like Evea’s character, but I’m not sure what I think of Lianar and Patricia yet. I haven’t gotten much of a sense of them, but I’m sure that’ll change later on as the story starts to focus more on them. Like Wolf, I was surprised to see the antagonism between them at the end of the chapter; in reading back, I saw there was nothing that indicated they were friendly to each other, but there also wasn’t much that showed they weren’t. Since they seemed to be talking to each other and both asked the same question, I just automatically concluded that they were friends. I’m looking forward to seeing them round up four other faeries to work with. [glow=blue,2,300] Twist of Fate: Part Three[/glow] I am beginning to enjoy the little bits of Fratimer’s past that start off each chapter. Though it would be nice if they related to the story that follows. Or maybe they do, and I, as usual, simply miss the connection. ^^; He grew more Petpets? o_0 Ohh, the Fountain Faerie. I like how his sister doesn’t recognize him even though she changes so much herself. Poor Fratimer. His new look is kind of suitable, but I hope things look up for him soon. Although I have a feeling it’s only going to get worse… I can imagine quite a bit of teasing about Grey, too. [glow=blue,2,300] The Adventures of Trina: The Return of the Staff – Part Three[/glow] Don’t go in the secret passageway! Don’t… don’t… *headdesk* Trusting souls, aren’t they… *sigh* If anyone could lay a trap that obvious, it’s the Meerca brothers. ^^ And the idea of them having girly voices… XD Ouch, Trina’s having a bad day. And judging by the chapter ending, it’s probably not going to get better. I’m interested to see what the Meerca brothers will do with the staff. [glow=blue,2,300] The Mirror of Memories: Part Four[/glow] Malin’s hospitality scares me. o_0 Does she personally bathe all of her guests? If I was her friend, I’d be nervous to go over to her house. This was another interesting part. I liked how you mentioned that Bori weren’t very common at that time, and Aina’s smug response seems fitting of the slightly bratty character she showed earlier. Though, she seems a little more like a smart-aleck now, which isn’t bad at all since we get to read her thoughts of the situation firsthand. You’re very good at getting a character across that way. ^^ I’m curious to see what happens when Aina goes back through the mirror. It’s rather nice to see the portal remaining open, rather than she getting dumped in the past and stuck there. Bouncing back and forth between time periods is bound to raise attention at some point, though. I’m eager to see what happens next. ^^ [glow=blue,2,300] Sword of the Shapeshifter: Part Four[/glow] Beautifully written as always. I feel sorry for Tenultra. You do an excellent job of conveying her emotions, thoughts and doubts, revealing what she has to keep hidden. I like her character. I may have missed an earlier note about Tenultra’s size, but it surprised me when she turned out to be only the height of Illusen’s ankles. She’s so strong, so determined… I can’t imagine her shorter than the knees, at least. But admittedly, the idea of a “kitten” running in and saving all those rulers is great. This development with The Three is really interesting. The idea that Miaglo is working for them (even if he doesn’t admit it) is intriguing. I can’t wait to find out how Darigan holds them off—if he does—in the next chapter. [glow=blue,2,300] Legend Seekers: Mysterious Magic – Part Five[/glow] Another lovely chapter. Things are really getting interesting, with Jen meeting this faerie and Pemero just embarking on the next leg of his journey. The description and Jen’s thoughts in the beginning were very nice. Probably an editing mistake. I like the added viewpoint at the end. Jhudora in particular was fun to read. I’m very curious as to what will happen next. ^^ [glow=blue,2,300] Another Hero’s Journey: Part Six[/glow] This was a really lovely part. Each character’s feelings are so clearly shown. I really feel sorry for Melissa; she’s a great character and you have to sympathize with her. The nightmare scene with her was very well done; I could imagine it perfectly. And indeed… there is something up with the boys in her family. x3 Omar’s situation is remarkably similar to Reuben’s. This sounds like the makings of a perfect friendship. This storm’s been keeping everyone at a standstill for a while now. I’m very curious to know what will happen once it lets up. Reuben’s certainly going to have to make a choice of some sort. [glow=blue,2,300] Chronicles of the Court Rogue: Jealousy – Part Seven[/glow] …They’re gone again? This chapter full of interaction with Jules was interesting. For once, he actually doesn’t seem so bad. Rolan’s note combined with Mareian’s teasing, though… it’s priceless. XD There goes the dignity Jules built up earlier in the chapter. I admit to feeling a little sorry for him, though. I love Jeran’s line about getting kicked out, and Mareian’s opinion of the designers of magnetic hovering fountains. XD Your dialogue is always peppered with little gems that makes it a lot of fun to read. ^^ Aside from Jules, I can’t guess who the culprit is this time. I’m going to hope it’s just a mix-up, since it’d be a shame to lose the relics so soon after having gotten them. I’m eagerly waiting for the next chapter. ^^
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Post by Kat on Feb 21, 2007 21:31:27 GMT -5
[glow=blue,2,300] Another Hero’s Journey: Part Six[/glow] This was a really lovely part. Each character’s feelings are so clearly shown. I really feel sorry for Melissa; she’s a great character and you have to sympathize with her. The nightmare scene with her was very well done; I could imagine it perfectly. And indeed… there is something up with the boys in her family. x3 Omar’s situation is remarkably similar to Reuben’s. This sounds like the makings of a perfect friendship. This storm’s been keeping everyone at a standstill for a while now. I’m very curious to know what will happen once it lets up. Reuben’s certainly going to have to make a choice of some sort. [shadow=purple,left,300]Thanks for the review! ^_^ Melissa now seems so far away from the image of the cheerful, optimistic mom who sees Rohane off in the NQ2 game proper. XD Oh, and... I apologize for the inconsistency. Reuben and the cave gang have already known each other for three days. It was supposed to be a single day, but when I realized how short that is, I edited the story and missed this part. ^^;[/shadow] |
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Post by Nut on Feb 21, 2007 22:11:52 GMT -5
Missed Article
[glow=blue,2,300]Gee, Thanks[/glow]
That was a very vehement approach to the argument. It was an interesting way to look at Valentine’s Day, addressing the commercialized gift-giving and advising against it. I certainly get the feeling that you’re outraged. XD
…I like this example. XD
*snerk* Priceless image. XD
I found this article funny, and I liked the last line, if only because it was ironic since money is even more impersonal. I thought it rambled a bit in places, but it was pretty short so I didn’t notice too much. In all, an amusing article. ^^
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What a shame. Although seeing what happened to Vira later on, maybe it’s good she didn’t pair up with Jeran. It’s too bad the pic is of Vira’s official form, because it gets in the way of picturing a beautiful Faerie Acara, but of course you had no control over that.
