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Post by sarahleeadvent on Feb 17, 2007 1:40:21 GMT -5
Well, somebody's sure to start this thread, so it might as well be me. ;D Being new to the Forum, I won't even bother trying to make The List, but Reggieman721 certainly gave me something worth posting a review on.
Normally I would classify a banking story in the lowest reaches of the mind-numbingly dull, but Reggie, you definitely brought this one to life, and added depth and colour to a seldom-touched part of Neopia. The characters were realistic and engaging, and I especially enjoyed Darren's friendship and loyalty toward Afton. Afton's transformation was very realistic, and the ending of the story was very satisfying. I like how you tied it together with the mentioned dates;
All in all, a smoothly crafted, very enjoyable story.
And now, let the reviews fly.
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Post by Nut on Feb 17, 2007 7:14:25 GMT -5
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Post by yomaru on Feb 17, 2007 10:42:15 GMT -5
I got my first comic in, Common Mistakes. ^^
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Post by Jove on Feb 17, 2007 10:44:16 GMT -5
My short story, A Clown For Valentine's. ^^
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Post by Lau on Feb 17, 2007 12:42:44 GMT -5
I'd love reviews for my V-Day short story, Fluff and Ribbons. If anyone would like a review from me, I am a PM away.  |
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Post by Nut on Feb 17, 2007 13:26:49 GMT -5
Articles[glow=blue,2,300] Ahnnilator’s Guide to Birthday Parties[/glow] That was an interesting approach to birthday parties. It was amusing, and while the suggestions were obviously not of actual use, there was enough humor scattered through them to keep me reading. …I never thought of it that way before. x_o;; *chuckle* I am a bit alarmed at the idea of King Skarl being invited to a birthday party themed after cake. XD *blink* That… just came out of the blue. I had to smile. XD The latter suggestion seemed tame after the first. When I read it I imagined it more along the lines of, “Who can avoid drowning while grabbing the most soggy presents before they sink?”  Hehe. ^^ [glow=blue,2,300] Interview With The Uppingtons[/glow] I like how you manage to squeeze a story into this rather than just asking random questions… starting with Amelia’s lack of knowledge about Valentine’s and Archibald’s firm resistance to it and then going on to their acceptance of it. The actual acceptance happened awfully suddenly, though… going from “You have no idea the torment I had to endure every year!” to “Okay, let’s celebrate it”. The use of italics and bold to signify who was speaking was rather nice. I appreciated not having to read a little tag like “Mr Uppington:” before every sentence. *chuckle* Considering that no one knows who the Uppingtons are until they read the article, the title doesn’t give us much to lure us in. Who are the Uppingtons, and why do we want to know about them? The afternote was a little unneeded, but congratulations on your first article. ^^
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Post by Lau on Feb 17, 2007 13:41:30 GMT -5
Short Stories
Broken Scarabs
By Nut862
Mechanics: The story's writing style was flowing and cohesive. The sentences were written with a skillful balance of description and action -- it was the sort of story that can easily be read from beginning to end without seeming either too long or too short; the pacing was well done.
Style: The best element of this story was the use of time. Both flashbacks and present-tense were easily sequenced in a seamless fashion; it was not at all difficult to tell one from the other. Just enough information was given about the characters to imply the past they'd shared without overtly saying it; such use of characterization requires a firm knowledge in the difference between "too much" and "not enough" information -- a trait I did not find lacking in this story.
Plot: Most of this story was not action-centered; its main theme was that of nostalgia and of old friendship renewed. Done in a charming and attention-keeping way, the short story was truly a pleasure to read. I can think of no criticism to give; it was really quite well-done.
A Poem of Friendship
By Hello5346 and Goosher
Style: Switching back and forth between perspectives was an interesting way to choose to write the story, and was helpful in adding suspense, but you need to define better where the transitions are taking place. The main place that needed work was this paragraph, where the change is abrupt, unannounced, and a little confusing:
The plot: Your idea was good. You did a wonderful job of capturing the poetic personality -- a loner, and often sad and melancholy. Tina's bright, outgoing personality was apparent as well, and I liked the comparison between the social butterfly and the deep-thinking loner and their inexorable attaction. A few things in the plot needed work, however. For example, I thought that the final poem was really anticlimatic to be the best one he's ever written. I also thought it was stepping over the boundaries of realism for them to be "closest friends" when they've never actually talked to one another. Doesn't friendship on that level require substantial intimacy -- they are far more acquaintance than anything else, and describing them as super close buddies after only a hurried introduction to each other seemed quite unfitting.
For a first story, it's a nice start. The main places that need adjustment are with the flow of it and with the plot. But you do demonstrate a good ability with characterization, which is often lacking in short stories.
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Post by Nut on Feb 17, 2007 14:10:51 GMT -5
Short StoriesBroken ScarabsBy Nut862 Mechanics: The story's writing style was flowing and cohesive. The sentences were written with a skillful balance of description and action -- it was the sort of story that can easily be read from beginning to end without seeming either too long or too short; the pacing was well done. Style: The best element of this story was the use of time. Both flashbacks and present-tense were easily sequenced in a seamless fashion; it was not at all difficult to tell one from the other. Just enough information was given about the characters to imply the past they'd shared without overtly saying it; such use of characterization requires a firm knowledge in the difference between "too much" and "not enough" information -- a trait I did not find lacking in this story. Plot: Most of this story was not action-centered; its main theme was that of nostalgia and of old friendship renewed. Done in a charming and attention-keeping way, the short story was truly a pleasure to read. I can think of no criticism to give; it was really quite well-done. Thank you so much for the in-depth review. ^_^ I'm really glad you liked it. I'd wanted to write a story about Tomos and Nabile since the plot happened, so when Valentine's Day came I thought I'd seize the opportunity to get it out of my mind. |
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retired
Talkative Reader
I'm thankful I got the chance to meet all of you.
Posts: 364
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Post by retired on Feb 17, 2007 18:52:42 GMT -5
Hi all! Thanks for putting me on the review list, Nut. ^_^
I'm a little anxious, actually. This was my first comic with a frontal view of the characters, and I'm curious about what people think of the chracter design.
Oh, and everyone can call me huba if they like. ^_^' I know my screen name's a bit long... and hard to spell... aaaaaand hard to pronounce. >_<'
Plus, the joke was kinda dumb, so I'm nervous about if anyone thought it was funny. -_-'
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retired
Talkative Reader
I'm thankful I got the chance to meet all of you.
Posts: 364
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Post by retired on Feb 17, 2007 19:40:25 GMT -5
huba's Comic(al) Reviews:A Really Secret Valentine by Peri0neo*~Teehee! "poof"! I liked how the phrases "Mystery Valentine" and "Mysterious Valentine" were paralleled. ^_^ My favorite part was what the Kougra said at the end. Razzle Dazzle – Episode VII by Khestrel~ RazDaz is one of my favorites. The art work was (as always) divine, and and the final picture was hilarious. ^_^ The Bunker by Hubadawaha~ I can't review my own work! Besides, I critique it plenty when I make it, let alone afterwards! >_<' Our 7: Heart Attack? by Storygirl~ This made me giggle outloud, so you KNOW it was funny. At first I was like "Oh crud! Neopets can have heart attacks?!!!", but luckily I finished reading before force-feeding my pets Cheerios to lower their cholesterol.
Refugees by Huntress~ I love the drawings! I heart Shad and Saura! :3 Truly Jhudora at her evil geniusy best! It made me snort-laugh. =^_^= Common Mistakes by Yomaru~ The first few lines alone are giggle-worthy *genderconfusioteehee* ^_^ Great drawings, great joke, and an excellent moral: don't tick off the ladies. -_- Ever!
Updated ^_^
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Post by Deleted on Feb 17, 2007 20:09:25 GMT -5
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retired
Talkative Reader
I'm thankful I got the chance to meet all of you.
Posts: 364
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Post by retired on Feb 18, 2007 3:02:58 GMT -5
Gladly! ^_^ It was stupendous! Not only was the joke and art hilarious, but the characters are so well drawn that for a second I thought this was drawn by a staff member! >_<' Kudos, my friend! |
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Post by bag on Feb 18, 2007 9:41:35 GMT -5
Thanks for the review, Nut. Also, I'll do reviews on Monday due to stuff that's happening today, mainly my grandparents and the Amazing Race All-Stars premiere. |
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Post by jeanlugertie on Feb 18, 2007 10:29:45 GMT -5
Maybe someone could do a review of my article Gee, Thanks? Just some random fun written up in, oh, half an hour, and my first time getting in. I figure if I find out where to improve, I could maybe make it in a second time! ;D |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 18, 2007 19:20:12 GMT -5
I don't know how many reviews I'll be doing this week, as the end of February is upon us...me, and I have some off-net obligations that have deadlines that I must see to before reviewing. *gasps* That was a mouthful and I apologize you had to read through it all. -_-
That said, I may proceed to my review of this week's comics.
A Really Secret Valentine by Peri0neo
This was a great joke! Very simple, but effective and sweet. ^_^
Razzle Dazzle – Episode VII by Khestrel
The artwork in this comic was just wonderful, and the jokes were all great. I really enjoyed this one.
The Bunker by Huba
I liked the art in this, and the characters' front sides were all nice as well, don't worry. The first joke wasn't that funny to me, as I found myself expecting something wrong to happen with the spell, but the apple pie craving made me laugh. :)
Our 7: Heart Attack? by Storygirl
O_O That is a great joke! I liked this comic, especially as I make jokes like that all the time. The art was good, though the backgrounds were a bit plain, I think.
Refugees by Huntress
THAT is a great comic, and I loved it, Huntress! Again, I have enjoyed another of your great comics.
Common Mistakes by Yomaru
I really liked this comic. The art was nice and the joke was really good. To be honest, I could have mistaken them as boys, too... The comeuppance was excellent.
Who Says Lennies Can't Fly? by Blacebrander and M3rcuri
*confused at first... but then, AHA! Ahahahaha!* That's a good thing. ~_^ I wasn't entirely certain about the point of this joke at first, since I thought Lennies could fly, though at the end it all made perfect sense. I thought the art was quite nice and I particularly love the frame with the Lenny looking so determined and all those math equations floating around.
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