Issue 234 Reviews

[Deleted]

luau said:

I'm so happy!!! My story title and custom pic is on the news page!!! I think I'm gonna cry...

Reviews for Plushie Eaters Part One would be appreciated.

Wow, Luau! That's really lucky! Congrats!

I remember when I was happy when my Christmas article made the news page. =D

[Deleted]

neotomi said:

Please review The Pet Patrol Revolution (Boy, it's ben a while since I said that)

Mini-Mystery Island! =D

[reinarita]

dan4848 said:

The Skunk and the Teacher-Good story, Rei! Great way to start out. I loved the name, Smelldwena. Very creative. However, I didn't know her real name, so it would have been better if you gave the full name as well to offset the name the others called her. The idea was a bit predictable, and there were a few parts that didn't make sense. For instance, why would her teacher come after her and make up a whole story about forgetting her paper, rather than just telling her about the contest? That way, they'd have a conversation which could develop both characters, which obviously is important. Like I said, it was predictable. While no story is perfect (and I'll be the first to admit my stories are predictable sometimes), it would have made for a more touching ending if it wasn't so obvious that she would give it to her teacher. Basically, just work on the plot details a bit more.

Other than that, it was a good start for a promising writer! You're on your way to fame.

I understand where you're coming from. The story was about the relationship between the two and thus they had to have an ending in which that relationship was finally... made clear, you know?

I appreciate you taking the time to read it.

[reinarita]

nikki said:

The Skunk and the Teacher
This story was great! It kept my attention the entire way through. Like Dan said up there, I could sort of guess what was going to happen but I liked it. At least it had a nice plot and good description.

Thank you so much! ^^

[Strife]

luau said:

I'm so happy!!! My story title and custom pic is on the news page!!! I think I'm gonna cry...

Hehehe, I definitely know what that feels like. My heart caved in for a second in disbelief when I first saw my Gargarox Isafuhlarg story on the front page. It's deinitely cool.

Anyway, reviews for my article "Let's Talk Trash: How To Properly Dispose of One-Neopoint Items" would be greatly appreciated. I put a lot of thought into this one and I discuss an issue which I believe needs to be addressed in Neopia.

[Deleted]

Reviews for Walk the Plank: Part Five would be greatly appreciated .

[Deleted]

Valiant Petpets at Their Best

You're just a writing fool lately, aren't you? (I love the negg smileys.)

I must say that, although your other articles have been nice, this one crosses a new line in your writing ability. It was funny, it's a current topic that's on a lot of peoples' minds, and it was well-organized.

Pictures are always good in these kinds of articles. Way to go there.

Descriptions in these kinds of articles should be funny. Mission accomplished.

What can I say? Keep up the good work. Have you thought about writing a story or are articles just your thing?

[Nut]

dan4848 said:

Cream Cookies-Ooh, good story! I liked it. I enjoyed the characterization of Illusen and Trika, and I especially enjoyed the Mynci reporter. That was my favorite part, XD. Not much to find wrong with, except this minor thing:

A young green Kau, with a wide smile on her small face, said cheerfully, with no trace of the panic that had worried Illusen into making such a hasty move towards the door, "Illoozen!"

This sentence is very awkward. It'd make more sense splitting it into two. Besides that, though, it was a great story! You're extremely talented.

Woot, thank you for the review, Dan! ^^ I wasn't expecting one so fast. *glomps* Have a cookie! *hands you a cream cookie*
I'm glad you liked the story. ^^ And I'm happy you enjoyed the Mynci reporter. XD I was debating whether to put him in or not, and eventually decided I just had to. ^^ It looks like it worked out.
Thanks for pointing out that awkward sentence. I agree, it should've been either rewritten or split in two. ^^; In rereading it, I thought there were some other awkward sentences as well. I think that was me trying to sound sophisticated or something.
Thankies for the review!

[velveteen]

Any reviews for my collab "Neopest" comic would be received with spaghetti flavoured cookies!

[nikki]

luau said:

Valiant Petpets at Their Best

You're just a writing fool lately, aren't you? (I love the negg smileys.)

I must say that, although your other articles have been nice, this one crosses a new line in your writing ability. It was funny, it's a current topic that's on a lot of peoples' minds, and it was well-organized.

Pictures are always good in these kinds of articles. Way to go there.

Descriptions in these kinds of articles should be funny. Mission accomplished.

What can I say? Keep up the good work. Have you thought about writing a story or are articles just your thing?

;D (I love the negg smileys too)
Thanks for your review! ^^ I'm really glad that you liked it. Yep, I've tried writing stories and I've entered quite a few but they were rejected I suppose articles are my thing, for now anyways. I finished a series I've been working on yesterday so we'll see how that goes. Thanks again for the review =D!

[Deleted]

A Public Service Announcement by the NSPCPP

What a cute first article! I love the public service announcement and how you chose to focus on just the Abominable Snowball instead of many different petpets. I think that made your article very straightforward. You had many clever ideas like "do not give your Abominable snowball a nose" and the whole thing about yellow Snowballs and not having anyone brave enough to see if they taste funny. Keep at it; this was truly an entertaining and enjoyable article.

[Deleted]

The Skunk and the Teacher

What a sweet little story, Rei! My heart sank several times throughout. I agree on the comment about the forgotten paper--I didn't really see how it was necessary.

I think that predictability in this situation wasn't a huge problem. In fact, I was thinking to myself for a minute that she might give it to her sisters or something (don't ask me why.) I guess I didn't know until the end that the teacher wasn't painted.

I also thought the part about grandma and the brand new notebook and Sel not telling her about winning the contest, but showing the notebook was a little awkward, but nothing too terrible.

Great job! It was so sweet. I almost teared up at the end.

[Deleted]

Cream Cookies

Where do you get these things, Nut? So cute and original...

I found the aforementioned sentence strange as well, but that's already been discussed.
I'm glad you left the Mynci reporter in. He was cool.

The characterizations are wonderful. I love the bit with Illusen's hair in the beginning. I can picture her jerking around, trying to get her hair out of the cream cookie.

Great job, Nut! I think your writing is improving each time and, if that's the case, I can't wait to read the next story!

[Nut]

luau said:

Cream Cookies

Where do you get these things, Nut? So cute and original...

I found the aforementioned sentence strange as well, but that's already been discussed.
I'm glad you left the Mynci reporter in. He was cool.

The characterizations are wonderful. I love the bit with Illusen's hair in the beginning. I can picture her jerking around, trying to get her hair out of the cream cookie.

Great job, Nut! I think your writing is improving each time and, if that's the case, I can't wait to read the next story!

Whee, thank you for the review, Luau! ^^ *glomps* I'm so glad you liked the story. I'm happy you liked the characterizations. I was hoping someone would like the part with Illusen's hair. Thank you, Luau! *gives cream cookie* *sprinkles cheesecake on top*

[Kat]

Short story reviews...yeahwhateveryup. XD

Cream Cookies by nut862

Oh man, I loved the plot! It was so simple, and yet so beautifully written. The descriptions were rich, but not TOO rich, and everything seemed to flow along nicely, topped off with bits of humor in between the more serious parts. Honestly, I can't find much to nitpick here. I'll just say I enjoyed reading this story, Nut. And yes, I also enjoyed visualizing poor Illusen with her braid stuck in a cream cookie. XD

The Skunk and the Teacher by elvish_one_of_magic and zen_reina

For your first piece, this is a very nice read. However, some of the parts were abrupt and did not make sense, like the paper that Sel did not write but the teacher claims that she wrote. A few of the descriptions were a little too "twisted", to the point that they get a little confusing. But the ending was good, and like I said, this is pretty good for your first publication.