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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2006 17:03:24 GMT -5
Kat, Nim has a short story in this week, too.
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Post by Nut on Apr 2, 2006 23:37:35 GMT -5
The Happiest Quiggle was really cute. I can't quite recall your old artwork, but this is definitely good. There's a nice use and execution of action, and the facial expressions are great! Thank you so much, Tashni! ^^ I'm glad you thought so. And I'm glad you like the expressions--that's always something I try to achieve in a comic. ^^ |
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Post by Kat on Apr 3, 2006 9:32:52 GMT -5
List is updated. I'll do my reviews very soon. ^_^
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Post by Kat on Apr 4, 2006 3:20:09 GMT -5
Return of the Double Agent: part 1If there was a preceding series, I haven't read it. I don't often read series but I was intrigued by the topic. Return of the Double Agent? I never knew much about her to begin with. So, I read. So far, I am enjoying the character development. King Skarl is every bit the fat, gluttonous and dense pig that I wanted him to be. The Double Agent seems young. I'd always thought she'd be an adult but here she just seems like a very intelligent teenager. I'm not quite sure I liked that bit of gossip at the end, however. Perhaps that will have something to do with events in the future? I'd like to think so. I thought it was humorous, but gossip irks me, personally. Just some personal opinions. I'm getting dragged outside by my mother right now, so I'll continue with these reviews when I return. Thankies. ^_^ Well, the title has something to do with the Agent peeking her head out of her hole after the BFM plot. And yes, we (or at least, I, since Sia and I collabed on this one and I don't know if she also shares this same opinion with me) did envision her as someone who's pretty young yet intelligent, like in her late teens or simply coming out of it. KAT'S UBER-AWESOME AND UBER-SHORT COMIC REVIEWSVIEWSVIEWSThink Less... by ssjelitegirlI find the art to be simple yet subtle. ^_^ And the last panel really cracked me up. The Happiest Quiggle by nut862In a few of the panels, the Shoyru seems a little...erm...disproportioned, but maybe that's just me. But the punchline is awesome. XD Triple Negative by sillygirl_543One-paneled comics are sometimes hard to create, since you have to deliver a lot in just one panel. But you did a great job with this one. j;D |
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Post by Belle on Apr 4, 2006 3:29:00 GMT -5
Short Story ReviewThe Secret Diary of Jeran Borodere by Nimras23Oh man! Nim, this was an awesome read! I was roffling all the time I was reading this. Now here's the other side of Jeran we never get to see (and, whew, I understand very much why your blue fuzzy keeps all this a secret - how ever did you get his diary? XD). Seriously though... I liked the concept of this short story (that is, retelling a series of events - in this case, the Meridell plot - from a character's point of view) not only because I love retellings but you chose to do a comedic retelling rather than a serious one. Jeran's narration is funny and witty (those 'Go me!' exclamations really made me wonder about him, y'know?  ). The fangirl attack was a deft touch (and just the way I imagined it, too)!  The characterizations are also very fun. I especially loved ol' Danner here with his girlish screams and petty jealousy. All in all, this story is a breath of fresh air. Go, Jeran! Go, Nim!
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Post by Nut on Apr 4, 2006 22:00:35 GMT -5
The Happiest Quiggle by nut862In a few of the panels, the Shoyru seems a little...erm...disproportioned, but maybe that's just me. But the punchline is awesome. XD Thank you so much for the review, Kat! ^^ I'm glad you liked it.  And, yes, my Shoyrus have always been kind of disproportioned. XP Shoyrus are somewhat disproportioned to begin with, although it's not terribly obvious (their heads are larger than their bodies), and they're short and squat. So I just keep the squatness, but make the head the right size in proportion to the body, and shrink the wings. XD Still disproportionate, but it looks better to me. XP Oh! I nearly forgot! *bakes biscuits for Kat, Tashni, and Lulu*  Enjoy! ^^ |
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Post by Deleted on Apr 4, 2006 23:04:36 GMT -5
*promising to do reviews just as soon as she can, even if she has to PM people their reviews to make sure they get them*
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Post by fipples~ on Apr 5, 2006 11:09:33 GMT -5
A few comic reviews of comics I especially liked this week (I don't do by the list. Sorry. xD) so if one of the people the review is directed to isn't signed up, then... too bad. Cheeser the Spardel frayedknot The art is very simple, but I loved the comic! I didn't suspect the ending at all (I doubt I even noticed that the Spardel looked too... um... normal/not normal) - and the last panel took me by surprise, and it was very funny. I especially like the Spardel's thought bubble in the last panel. Good job! Think Less... ssjelitegirl Cute idea - I especially liked the last panel! Lord of the Sludge azellica A very cute one panel comic.  The expression on Sloth's face is really cute, and the *bored* thought bubble really helps to deliver the idea of the comic. Um... yeah. That's it. If any of the artists above aren't signed up to NTWF yet (I know Huntress is, not sure about the other two) and they do... um... feel free to lead them to this reply? xD |
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Post by Tashni on Apr 5, 2006 11:44:03 GMT -5
Okay, this is definitely not an Issue 233 review, but Kat, here's my long-awaited review of AHJ.
A Hero's Journey by Kat
Chapter 1 - This is a GREAT opening to a sibling rivalry. You showed me where it all started. The last sentence was nice foreshadowing, too.
Chapter 2 - In the first part I really wasn't sure whether or not Reuben sent the Bearog after Rohane. You made me question, and be curious about, who Reuben and Rohane have become. You also established Reuben as the antagonist and Rohane as the protagonist. (At least for now.)
Chapter 3 - The sparring scene was really good. Not only did you write the action well, but it continues to show character development.
As a concrit, one thing I repeated noticed is the effort you put forth to avoid saying "he" or "Reuben" or "Rohane." Here's an example:
"The addressed party" is quite a mouthful, or earful, and distracts far more from the writing than simply writing "he" or "Rohane" would have. No, you don't want to be starting every sentence with "he," but it's good to remember that when used properly, it's a fairly invisible word.
The development of Reynold was really good in this chapter, but he's such a support to Rohane, that I just have this bad feeling something's going to happen to him! Although this is the NT. So what do I know?
The ending where Reuben gets very jealous, but still feels a twinge of mercy for Rohane, is great. More foreshadowing and character development!
Chapter 4 -
An elipsis denotes a slow trailing off. A "hasty popping in" should really be a dash.
One thing I find myself constantly looking for is a more formal style of speech. This is supposed to be medievil, but the characters speak like people today. You may have done this on purpose, but I'm just pointing it out.
This was a very touching chapter. The last line about becoming a knight on the inside is really good. In each chapter you give me a clue of what is to follow. That's really important in a series.
CHAPTER 6
Not the best opening, or even the best sentence. Too many repetitive descriptions. When you say he "stepped out of the shadows", we already assume "into the light", and when it reflects off his armor, we already know it's shiny. Just too much.
Intrigued and interested are synonyms.
Putting all of this in past tense really kills tension.
You try to use different words where none are needed. Take here, for instance. Also, this structure says that the OBSERVATION of the rain made him slip, not the rain itself.
In general, your characters are excellent, but your action isn't. Cut out all unnecessary words in action and put things in a strictly chronological order.
CHAPTER 7
I'm getting really tired of hearing the terms "younger", "older", "brother" and "sibling." Just say names! It's not that big a deal to use names a lot.
The only big problem with chapter 7 is that without the "to be continued..." bit, I wouldn't thought this was the last chapter! A little more reason to read the next chapter would be nice. ^_^
CHAPTER 8
It took me quite a while to figure out that "the captain" is Reynold.
The battle scene is just weird. It's like they can all take their time to say whatever they want in the heat of battle. I would have had everyone using less words. It also doesn't make sense that the battle would just end with Reynold's death. Both sides would still fight until the conclusion of battle. They all seem to take the duty of telling his family lightly, as a burden, not a solemn, though sad, duty. Also, Melissa doesn't seem too upset to see Bernard there without Reynold.
CHAPTER 9, 10
A very nice ending to the series. We saw Rohane and Reuben grow up and become individuals. It was a satisfying, but open ending, which is my favorite kind. Great work, Kat!
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Post by Kat on Apr 6, 2006 1:32:41 GMT -5
Tashni...I love you. XD
Well, I guess I was sort of influenced by Lemony Snicket *pokes ze avatar* who keeps saying "eldest Baudelaire", "youngest sibling", "orphan" and all that. And I got too carried away with all that, I admit.
Fight scenes aren't my forte (but I'm practicing for AHJ II) and I can get really wordy with my descriptions. XDDDDDD Go me.
As for chapter 8...I'm guessing that Melissa was too excited to see Reynold that she thought he was still outside and blah. ^^; XDDDDD
Ooh, now I know the difference between the "..." and the "-". Thankies, thankies, THANKYOUTHANKYOU.
...
...SHORT STORY REVIEW!
The Secret Diary of Jeran Borodere by nimras23
Oh man, I love this! Jeran's random cracks and side comments and the fact that he actually debates with his own diary really kept my attention. In fact, the title itself can attract a good number of readers (and fangirls, yes, I'm a self-confessed semi-fangirl). It really gives us an insight into Jeran's other side, his secret life, something like that. I give this one two thumbs up.
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Post by Tashni on Apr 6, 2006 1:41:22 GMT -5
Thank, thank you. Before you get all carried away, let me explain the difference between a hyphen "-" and a dash "—". A hyphen is used to connect words like "blue-grey," whereas dashes are used to seperate sentences: "it was quiet—too quiet." There are no spaces before or after dashes. Just so you know! |
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Post by Kat on Apr 6, 2006 2:06:36 GMT -5
Thank, thank you. Before you get all carried away, let me explain the difference between a hyphen "-" and a dash "—". A hyphen is used to connect words like "blue-grey," whereas dashes are used to seperate sentences: "it was quiet—too quiet." There are no spaces before or after dashes. Just so you know! I think I knew that already, but thanks for reminding me! ^_^ |
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Post by Huntress on Apr 6, 2006 14:09:23 GMT -5
Ohkay, before the new issue is out, I shall take some time for some short comic reviews. And thanks to all who've commented on mine ^^
C.H.A.O.S. - April Fool's Special: you don't see handdrawn comics much these days. (No wonder, seeing the size limits. Handdrawing makes the file bigger >.>) But it's a nice touch :3 I didn't quite get the first panel... how exactly was the bucket triggered? And the Kacheek looks a bit... squeezed o.o; But overall, good job ^^
The Happiest Quiggle: love the expressions ^__^ The art is really nice aswell. For some odd reason the Quiggle above the title felt a bit redundant though... maybe it's just me. Still, a comic I enjoyed =3
Triple Negative: oh how true x3 Why I don't like most baby pets. Personally I think that the comic would've worked out better with speech, not thought bubbles. Probly just because I almost never use thought bubbles ^^; The art is really pretty too. Especially the shading ^^
Oh, and then there's The Secret Diary of Jeran Borodere which I actually read right after the issue came out, so might as well comment on it now :3 The idea is great, really. Seeing that it managed to get my, aka never-reads-stories attention. *nodnod* To make it short, t'was downright hilarious x3 Especially entries 11-13. And most of the others, infact. The NT doesn't have many stories that make me chuckle all the time I'm reading...
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Post by Deleted on Apr 6, 2006 18:15:02 GMT -5
Return of the Double Agent: Part OneI like how this story is starting out. Loved the little side notes about Skarl's choice of colors. Loved all the little details, as a matter of fact: the burn mark in the official paper, etc. I'm very interested in this tiny potato. I'm wondering, did you find this somewhere or did you make it up? Very creative if it's your own idea (and good research if not). I agree with someone who said this before that the gossip at the end seemed a little out of place, but I can't pass too much judgement at the moment because you very well could be going somewhere with it. Also, I felt confused for a while when he gave her the potato and she said she was getting paid to take care of the potato...I thought her main job was to spy on Darigan? I guess I don't get why he gave her the potato. But then again, I noticed you left several things open for further explanation and I hope I catch on to the potato in upcoming parts. Loved the description (just enough for the pacing of your story, I think), loved the characters so far (Skarl is that Skeith we all know and tolerate, the Double Agent seems to be a little quirky which makes her seem more real), and loved the whole idea of the story. Can't wait to read more...tomorrow!
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Post by Nut on Apr 6, 2006 21:24:19 GMT -5
The Happiest Quiggle: love the expressions ^__^ The art is really nice aswell. For some odd reason the Quiggle above the title felt a bit redundant though... maybe it's just me. Still, a comic I enjoyed =3 Thank you, Huntress! ^^ Glad ye like the art. Yeah, that huge title panel has got to go. It's something I used in my first couple of comics and just kept doing it. My next comic isn't going to have it. Thankies for the review! And now... Nut's Late Reviews! Comic Reviews[glow=blue,2,300] Think Less…[/glow] Ahaha, hilarious! XD I really love the artwork here. The background is very nice, subtle and filling just as much space as it should without looking cluttered. The props are nice as well—the little cabbage and knife in the first panel is cute, and it’s fun to watch the salad being prepared. Saura just moves so naturally, stirring the bowl and going to the refrigerator, then pausing to talk… Shad as well, with his newspaper and the way he reads it and then folds it. The panels flow very naturally here. I felt like I was watching a real conversation. Oh, and the expressions! Somehow, the expressions in this comic really stand out to me. You get them perfectly… Shad’s intent gaze on the newspaper, Saura’s smart look as he half-turns from the ‘fridge… I particularly like Shad’s expression in the last panel. It’s all just so funny. XD The characters seem to move very naturally, with all their gestures and positions. The comic seemed to move a little slower than some of your others, but the punchline is just great. XD I love the way you portrayed the frenzied pets. Terrific work as always, Huntress. ^^ [glow=blue,2,300] C.H.A.O.S. - April Fool's Special[/glow] The art here is cute; I don’t see much handdrawn art in the Times, and the pencil coloring is quite smooth. I especially like the way the Aishas are drawn, and I like the Buzzer in the last panel. The joke itself is fairly simple, but that’s not much to complain about, as I’ve seen many a plain gag made into something hilarious by the execution. I do think this comic’s layout could have been improved, though. It reads rather slowly. Try adding some more action to keep things interesting. Showing the Aisha getting drenched in the first panel would have been clearer than just showing the bucket tipping, and would have given you the opportunity to put an amusing expression on Fluffy’s face to get a laugh out of the reader. In the second panel, I would’ve had Fluffy say something—something short and simple to express her indignation/embarrassment—to make it feel less empty dialogue-wise. The third circular panel doesn’t seem necessary to me, either; you could have had the Kacheek heading towards the rock in the second panel. Action is key here. Make the Kacheek look like he’s got some momentum when he’s next to the rock, so we get the idea that he’s about to trip over it. As it is, he looks like he’s just standing beside it. Showing Sweet in the last panel, looking embarrassed as he gets up, would have added to the effect of the laughing pets. Maybe you could even have had Fluffy standing nearby, laughing as well. I think some dialogue in the last panel would’ve been nice, too, but… *shrug* It was a cute comic, though. Very nice. ^^ [glow=blue,2,300] Triple Negative[/glow] Haha, this is so true! Baby Korbats are creepy. I feel almost sorry for the one in the wheelbarrow, though. XD I like the art here very much, particularly the Korbat mother. Her expression is very nice, and I like how you’ve given her almost a human figure. I also like how you did her ears. Very nice. I also like how the Zafara is drawn, with his expression and all. And the swirly cloud under the Rainbow Pool is fun to look at. You have a lovely style. ^^ The gag is quite simple, and while I don’t appreciate jokes about pet species as much as others, this one is just so true. It has a rather subtle delivery, with the pets’ thought balloons telling out the story. The Zafara’s thought seems to slow down the comic a bit, since we can already see that it’s a Baby Korbat in a wheelbarrow; I think his expression alone can convey his surprise at what he sees. In all, though, a very nice comic with really cute art. ^^ Short Story Review[glow=blue,2,300] The Secret Diary of Jeran Borodere[/glow] ROFFLE! Ohemgee, ROFFLE! This story was the funniest I’ve read in a long time, quite possibly even one of the funniest I’ve read ever. I read it over twice, and it was even more amusing the second time around. Amazing job, Nim. I love the custom pic, too—and the story definitely deserved it! It’s an absolutely terrific humorous read. XD You have excellent characterization here, Nimras. I really get a sense of Jeran’s character, and I love Danner and his girly squeals. XD Jeran’s narration is just hilarious. I can actually imagine someone writing all these things in a secret diary just that way. This is a look at a side of the knight that the world rarely sees. XD Some parts of the story that I loved: (^ This one was hilarious. XD) Oh, who am I kidding? I should just put the whole story in quotes. XD Terrific job, Nimras! This is definitely going on my list of favorite Times stories. ^^ |
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). The fangirl attack was a deft touch (and just the way I imagined it, too)! 
The characterizations are also very fun. I especially loved ol' Danner here with his girlish screams and petty jealousy. 
And, yes, my Shoyrus have always been kind of disproportioned. XP Shoyrus are somewhat disproportioned to begin with, although it's not terribly obvious (their heads are larger than their bodies), and they're short and squat. So I just keep the squatness, but make the head the right size in proportion to the body, and shrink the wings. XD Still disproportionate, but it looks better to me. XP
The expression on Sloth's face is really cute, and the *bored* thought bubble really helps to deliver the idea of the comic.
