The NTWF in: Misplaced

[Goosh]

Another NTWF I will probably never finish. ;D Enjoy.

The small bottle opened, releasing a harsh chemical smell.

A small brush was dipped into the bottle's contents.

There was a slight moan.

"Oh, come on, Crystal! You said I could paint your toenails, and that's what I'm going to do!"

"I don't know, Spot." The ninja warily eyed her toes. Spot was busy muttering something about the key being application, all the while dousing her nails in a metallic green concoction that looked like it belonged in a laboratory. Crystal sighed, laying back in her deck chair.

Whoever had the idea of a forum-wide cruise was a genius. The luxury cruiser happily glided through the sea for destinations unknown. The sun glittered happily, sending sparks of light across the wave tops. All of the ship's three decks (three front, three back) were bursting with merry forumers. Spot, for some reason, had decided this was the perfect occasion to paint Crystal's toenails. Now Spot was surrounding her toes with sponges. She wiggled her digits experimentally.

"Stop that, Crystal! You'll smudge! And if you get any on your toes, you'll look like a hussy."

At the word hussy, a head popped out of a nearby door, leading to the interior of the ship. "HEY, GUYS!" Rider yelled, her voice thick and slurred. "THEY GOTTA--THEY, UM--THAT'S IT, THEY'VE GOT AN OPEN BAR AHAHAHAHA!"

"Yes, Rider, we know. And we'll know five minutes from now, when you tell us again," Spot muttered soothingly as the pirate staggered back to the bar.

Crystal and Spot looked at each other. "Rider," they groaned in unison.

*~*~*

"I'll right then, I'll lay down Sev, who'll revive all my dead forumers, and I'll use Strife's Sace Ray attack to do forty damage to Scar." Elycien triumphatnly flipped the necessary cards, assuring a victory in this round of NTWF: the TCG.

"Oho," Tracy grinned. "You have fallen into my trap like a duckling in spaghetti." She flipped over a facedown card. "For I have STALOR MOON, whose appearance alone causes fifty damage to all your players. And that's not all. I--"

A leisurely gust of wind blew the Stalor Moon card away. Tracy, mouth agape, followed its progress of the deck and into the churning water below. For a second her face was contorted in thought, and she then leapt gracefully of the deck,swan diving into the sea.

"I wonder if she knows those cards are laminated," Elcy mused. Ginz appeared along the promenade, having heard the splash. Elcy pointed over the side of ship, and Ginz made a tsking noise. She waved her wand and the Stalor Moon card soared back on deck. She waved it again and Tracy flopped on board, completely waterlogged. She promptly fainted.

*~*~*

Ignoring the fact that JB the first mate had fainted from a combination of heat and layers of black clothing, Captain Thundy sang to himself at the wheel.

"Rock the boat; don't rock the boat, baby; Rock the boat; don't tip the boat over..." He looked throughh his sunglasses at a bank of black clouds that were approaching ahead. He started to turn the wheel, but then NSQ randomly leapt into the captain's quarters. Before Thundy could move he had been swallowed, and a content NSQ settled down for a nap, using Jb as a human blanket.

*~*~*

And so the oblivious forumers sailed on, laughing, playing, basking in the sun, and unknowingly heading towards distaster...

[Ginz ❤]

XD This is great, Goosh!

Yay, I saved the card! And Tracy! XD

I can't wait to read more. ^_^

[PFA]

Haha, awesome.

...And if this post gets TMC'd one more time, I'm gonna kunai something. >_>

[Rider]

[glow=red,2,300]Awesome. ^_^ I want to play the NTWF TCG. XD

Hooray for caps-locked drunkenness. XDDDD[/glow]

[Goosh]

Part Two, because I was bored.

A rumble of angsty thunder crashed through the waves of inane chatter aboard the ship. Forumers who had been distracted by shiny things on the floor finally looked up to see a menacing wall of black clouds. Everyone scampered across promenades and up and down stairs, causing the ship to rock dangerously. Stal climbed up to the top of the ship and addressed the vacationers over the noise of screams and storms.

"NTWFERS, REMAIN CALM! PLEASE ENTER THE--" But the forumers never heard what to enter for at that moment a great bolt of shiny blue lightning shot out of the sky and struck Stal, who plummeted off the top of the ship and landed on the deck below, missing the pool by mere inches.

Rider reached out to touch him, but recoiled.

"Is he dead?" Spot asked, worried.

"No, it's much worse. He's...Stal."

Spot groaned and heaved Stal over her shoulder, carrying him into the ship's interior. The bulk of the forum ran after her, fighting to be safe inside the ship. Rider stared up thoughtfully st the storm, not noticing that her rum was pouring into the pool. Why had Thundy steered them into a storm? Surely he would have turned them away.

Pulling on a tweed overcoat and matching cap, Rider struck a pose. "It's time to investigate!"

*~*~*

The door of the...um...room with the steering wheel (PHAIL!) burst open. Rider stood triumphantly in the doorway, a blazing trail of lightning giving her a really awesome silhouette. There was no sign of Thundy, though there was a large lump sleeping in the corner. She saw the wheel and rushed over to it, but alas! It was made for big kids, and Rider could barely reach the bottom spoke. She cried for a while, and wrote a few emo poems lamenting her stature. Then she noticed that NSQ was slowly trapping her in her mouth, like a random Venus fly trap.

"Nuuuuuu!" the pirate cried, crawling out of NSQ's mouth. She fled to the large common area where all the NTWFers milled about, worried. The boat was tilting wildly now, sending forumers toppling and, thanks to Crystal's knives, causing a few accidental castrations. Suddenly, a huge wave slammed against the side of the boat, breaking thw indows and sending gallons of water into the hall. It was all the band (Ringo on bacon guitar) could do to keep playing.

Even more suddenly, there was another boom of thunder and a bolt of lightning struck the ship. There was a sickening crunch as walls slowly ripped apart. The ship was splitting in two, a lot like a certain ship who shall remain nameless. Ringo solemnly plucked her bacon as water began to fill the ship.

Another line of lightning, this one illuminating the gap between the two halves that was steadily growing larger.

*~*~*

A voice, echoing out from NSQ's stomach. "Cool."

*~*~*

Two figures, one on a lifeboat and another dnagling in the water, which had, due to magic lightning, dropped in temperature to freezing.

"I'm so cold, Dan. I can't feel my body."

"Listen Ginz. It's just a brain freeze. You shouldn't have drank that entire slushie."

"But it would have gotten all saltwatery!"

*~*~*

A large military looking box. In black army letters, a warning: NUKES EXPLODE WHEN WET.

A rising water level.

*~*~*

Boom.

*~*~*

An explosion, a nautical inferno, a firework that shot through the sky. A rain of ash and debris. The cries of hundreds of NTWFers.

*~*~*

A long wait ahead...

[zarikrahia]

I call the person who has a random spaz attack!

I like, I really like.

[Ginz ❤]

A saltwatery slushie would have been a tragedy, indeed! *nodnod*

This is funny and intriguing at the same time. XD

[Amneiger]

...Big kids xD

If anybody else had been in the room when I read that they would have decided that I was completely off my rocker if they hadn't thought so already.

[jockylocky]

*looks frantically for "Nova" in the story.* ;_; Dang. Oh well. xD Great story, btw! ^^

[Dragon]

*turns into a whale* I'LL DIE ANOTHER DAY! *swims off*

[Strife]

xDDDDD This is TOO funny, Goosh! Awesome job so far!

I love the joke in there about Stal. It ought to be MQ'd. x3

[Goosh]

Thanks for all your positivity, guys. :3

As the night drew in, a large shape raced away from the scene of the wreck. Swimming quickly through the still raging water, Dragon in whale form did not notice a large, rather jagged rock that lurked just beneath the ocean's surface.

"OW!"

*~*~*

Leoness woke up. She was moving, though shy didn't really know why or how. The steady footfalls on the leafy floor of the jungle. Oh! She was being carried. She peered up into the darkness to catch the face of her rescuer.

Strife's face was a mess. His eyes were wild and bloodshot, and his cheeks were a mass of scratches thanks to a long walk through tbe under brush.

"Strife?" Leo asked slowly. "What happened? Where are we?"

Strife mumbled something in between pants, tough Leo could only catch a glimpse of it. "Ship...losion...swam, so so far...land, I was like 'Ch'yeah!'...then I...carried you. Here."

Strife gently set Leo down in a clearing in the jungle. A pillar of water fell across the side of a large, open cave. A stream twisted across the meadow, and many colourful plants blossomed at its banks. The clearing was dappled in shadows in the dawn, but it seemed safe enough. The two forumers staggered over to the cave. Strife stumbled into the corner, where he suddenly collapsed.

Leo frowned. The cave seemed safe enough, but Strife wasn't in a good shape. What was it Ginz had said about healing the day before? Plants! She said that there were lots of plants that were great for healing. And with all the flowers on the riverbank, there was bound to be something good.

She finally settled for a long green stem with a tip of orange. It looked healthy. She was about to squish out of the muddy banks, but a noise caught her attention. A noise she knew all too well.

Lemur.

She spun in the mud to a large pair of glowing eyes in the darkness. She took a squishy step back, and the lemur made more noises. A hand reached out and snatched the plant from her. Another hand pointed to a different plant, a squat little bush with bright blue blossoms. She relunctantly picked them up.

"And why would you be helping me?"

More lemur noises.

"Fine. But if anything happens...I'll hunt your whole clan down."

A final noise, and the bright eyes disappeared back into the darkness.

*~*~*

Ah! Oh gosh, massive brain freeze, owowowow. Ginz opened her eyes and immediately massgaed her forehead, willing the subzero overload to subside. She staggered upright, and a flood of memory came back to her. The ship. The boom.

She appeared to be on an island. A field of pure white sand stretched on for a while before sinking into the sea. A single deck chair sat at an awkward angle in the middle of the beach, a damp towel hanging from its corner. Ginz rushed forward, wondering if anyone had clung to it.

Stal lay, unconscious and in an admin-pink speedo. Ginz studied him for a moment, then calmly took a small bottle from her pocket. Tossing half the contents into her mouth, she snorted as the liquid worked its way up her nose. A sizzling sound fizzed form behind her eyes. As her brain was scoured with metaphorical steel wool, she draped the towel over Stal's midsection, then poked him.

Stal groggily opened his eys and moaned. "Where are my sunglasses?"

Ginz shrugged. "Search me. But maybe some UV rays will do you some good."

Stal nodded shakily. "Yeah...maybe. So, um, what happened?" He clutched his. "Oh, I remember. The ship. Is everyone alright?"

"I just woke up, and I haven't seen anyone. We're on an island, best as I can tell." An awkward silence hung in the air. "Why were you wearing a speedo?"

"Well...uh...Spot and I decided that if we had to swim, we didn't need clothes dragging us down."

It was the easier thing to believe. "Alright. I suppose if we're gonna be here for a while, we might as well build a shelter." Ginz marched off into the bushes, and, seconds later, she cried out: "Rider!"

Stal sighed, and wondered if there was any such thing as island aspirin.

[Deleted]

*LOL* - serously...

This is too funny for words... I'll just sit here and laugh out loud xD
I can totally imagine this happening... which is what makes it even more funny to me xD

More!!!

[Dragon]

>> I hope I'm not dead.


...


BUT LOL ANYWAYS! *thumbs up* I love the mention of brain bleach. xDDD

[Omni]

Personally, I'm not a very strong swimmer, and persona-wise, I'm not that good a flyer, especially not when it's windy. So I hope that whoever I might have been with would have been able to offer some really good survival assistance.