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Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2006 14:58:55 GMT -5
Not really, most of these I know, but the last couple of them I found on pleo. ^^; They pwn. XDDD Thanks...I love finding puns in my friends normal speak...we were talking about softball... Amanda: So, right field is behind first base, and left field is behind third base, so basically... Me: HAHAHA-snort- BASICALLY!!
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Post by Rider on Feb 26, 2006 14:59:02 GMT -5
[glow=red,2,300]*facepalm*[/glow] [glow=purple,2,300]Six: ...Not to mention the time you married ME.[/glow] [glow=red,2,300]XDDD true. Regarding Thoreau:[/glow] [glow=red,2,300]Note to self: Look up "mensuration" and get these mental images out of my head. [/glow]
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Post by Ginz ❤ on Feb 26, 2006 14:59:07 GMT -5
"The post you are trying to modify does not exist."! Huh? ... It's there... Are we in danger of explosion or something?
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Post by Cow-winkle on Feb 26, 2006 14:59:18 GMT -5
[glow=purple,2,300]Six: ...Not to mention the time you married ME.[/glow] She did say 'man' [glow=purple,2,300]Six: Hey, you listed Cow![/glow]
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Post by Rider on Feb 26, 2006 15:00:02 GMT -5
[glow=purple,2,300]Six: Hey, you listed Cow![/glow] [glow=red,2,300]True enough. XD OK, I'll stop procrastinating so y'all can keep the Tabloids from going boom. ^_^[/glow]
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Post by Ginz ❤ on Feb 26, 2006 15:00:22 GMT -5
Thanks...I love finding puns in my friends normal speak...we were talking about softball... Amanda: So, right field is behind first base, and left field is behind third base, so basically... Me: HAHAHA-snort- BASICALLY!! Oh, fun! XDD
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Post by Patrick (Forumerly Known As) on Feb 26, 2006 15:00:45 GMT -5
[glow=purple,2,300]Six: ...Not to mention the time you married ME.[/glow] [glow=red,2,300]XDDD true. Regarding Thoreau:[/glow] [glow=red,2,300]Note to self: Look up "mensuration" and get these mental images out of my head. [/glow] XDD [glow=purple,2,300]Six: Hey, you listed Cow![/glow] And myself.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2006 15:00:53 GMT -5
When he heard that the newspaper was holding a contest for the best pun, the man entered 10 puns, in hopes that at least one would be chosen. No pun in ten did. Y'already posted that one! Whoops...it was still on my ctrl-v. ^^; A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!!" The blind man replies, "Just looking around."
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Post by Ginz ❤ on Feb 26, 2006 15:01:03 GMT -5
[glow=purple,2,300]Six: ...Not to mention the time you married ME.[/glow] [glow=red,2,300]XDDD true. Regarding Thoreau:[/glow] [glow=red,2,300]Note to self: Look up "mensuration" and get these mental images out of my head. [/glow] That's so easy to misread.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2006 15:02:07 GMT -5
What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common? In the end, someone is going to lose a trailor.
-A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced; He decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.
-They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.
-The second one in line says "I want to be gorgeous too."
-Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing.
-Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be.
The guy says: " Make 'em all ugly again."
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Post by Cow-winkle on Feb 26, 2006 15:02:48 GMT -5
"Mensuration" is basically just measuring. I suppose that would be interpreted to have a dirty meaning...
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Post by Patrick (Forumerly Known As) on Feb 26, 2006 15:03:36 GMT -5
What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common? In the end, someone is going to lose a trailor. -A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced; He decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise. -They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done. -The second one in line says "I want to be gorgeous too." -Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted. This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing. -Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be. The guy says: " Make 'em all ugly again." XDDD
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Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2006 15:04:28 GMT -5
One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger. A few seconds later, a genie popped out of the lamp, but the genie was angry that the man had kicked his lamp.
Reluctantly, the genie said, "Even though you kicked me, I still have to give you three wishes. However because of what you did, I will also give twice what you wish for to the person you hate the most: your boss."
So the man agreed and made his first wish. "I want lots of money", he said. Instantly 22 million dollars appear in the man's bank account and 44 million appeared in his boss' account.
For his second wish, the man wished for a couple of sports cars. Instantly a Lambergini, Ferrari and a Porsche appeared, but at the same time outside his boss' house appeared two of each car.
Finally the genie said, "This is your last wish, you should choose carefully", and so the man replied... "I've always wanted to donate a kidney..."
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Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2006 15:06:23 GMT -5
A man goes skydiving for the first time. After listening to the instructor for what seems like days, he is ready to go. Excited, he jumps out of the airplane. After a bit, he pulls the ripcord. Nothing happens. He tries again. Still nothing. He starts to panic, but remembers his back-up chute. He pulls that cord. Nothing happens...
He frantically begins pulling both cords, but to no avail. Suddenly, he looks down and he can't believe his eyes. Another man is in the air with him, but this guy is going *up*!!
Just as the other guy passes by, the skydiver -- by this time scared out of his wits -- yells, "Hey, do you know anything about skydiving?"
The other guy yells back, "No! Do you know anything about gas stoves?"
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Post by Cow-winkle on Feb 26, 2006 15:06:37 GMT -5
One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger. A few seconds later, a genie popped out of the lamp, but the genie was angry that the man had kicked his lamp. Reluctantly, the genie said, "Even though you kicked me, I still have to give you three wishes. However because of what you did, I will also give twice what you wish for to the person you hate the most: your boss." So the man agreed and made his first wish. "I want lots of money", he said. Instantly 22 million dollars appear in the man's bank account and 44 million appeared in his boss' account. For his second wish, the man wished for a couple of sports cars. Instantly a Lambergini, Ferrari and a Porsche appeared, but at the same time outside his boss' house appeared two of each car. Finally the genie said, "This is your last wish, you should choose carefully", and so the man replied... "I've always wanted to donate a kidney..." I've heard one similar to that... except instead of his boss, it was his mother in law, and instead of donating a kidney, his wish was to be beaten half ot death.
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