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Post by Twillie on Sept 17, 2015 18:09:35 GMT -5
Instructions: Do not place tools at the top of the ladder.
Friend: Oh, I guess my ex-boyfriend can't climb it, then.
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Post by Allison on Oct 8, 2015 22:19:36 GMT -5
From choir practice on Tuesday.
Choir director: If you need to take a breath, take a breath. You don't have to die for Jesus. *pause* Well, you might have to die for Jesus, some day. But not at choir practice. Breath!
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Post by thedoggirl on Oct 10, 2015 19:08:05 GMT -5
"Do not consume cookie dough." or "Do not consume batter."
*laughs while stuffing face*
don't tell me how to live my life
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Post by Allison on Oct 20, 2015 22:37:06 GMT -5
"Do not consume cookie dough." or "Do not consume batter." *laughs while stuffing face* don't tell me how to live my lifeSo I remember this one time, I was hanging out with one my older brothers and some of our friends. It was six people total, three sets of siblings. The youngest of each sibling set was eating raw cookie dough, straight from one of those refrigerated tubes. Me: You know, if the three of us die from salmonella poisoning, it's going to look really, really suspicious.
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Post by thedoggirl on Nov 6, 2015 23:59:20 GMT -5
(My friend and I talking during lunch get on the topic of our away-at-college brothers.)
Friend: "I used to be so messy, but now I obsessively keep things clean." Her Mom: "When she goes to college, she's not going to have a lot to pack." Friend: "But you should see all of Josh's (her brother) stuff! He has more clothes than me!" Me: "Are all his shirts maroon?" (his school colors) Friend: "Pretty much. He dresses weird too.... He either looks really stylish or like a hobo." Me: *laughing* "Is that the college look?" Other Friend's Mom: "My son is either dressed like a business man or wearing basketball clothes."
xD
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Post by Layla "Nimbus" Karimi on Jan 8, 2016 14:20:59 GMT -5
(With the spring semester starting, the new extracurriculars have just begun where I work. The following exchange is from one of my Chemistry classes*)
Student: Will we get to melt someone with acid? Me: Nope. Acid doesn't melt things, it corrodes. Student: Will we get to corrode someone with acid? Me: No.
(*They're a lot cooler than they sound. The Chemistry class is actually my most popular, though it might get ousted from that position now that I have a dinosaur class >.>)
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Post by Thorn on Feb 8, 2016 15:09:54 GMT -5
"I'm a secondary character- I can only be killed by the primary antagonist!"
(my brother, summing up television).
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Post by Omni on Feb 8, 2016 19:30:20 GMT -5
So when a when an animé character dies from a mysterious disease for no apparent reason other than for drama, PFA, and our mom, and I call it the Animé Disease. We've noticed it tends to involve stuff like coughing up blood. Me: *after looking at the Slender Man wiki* So apparently seeing Slender Man can cause a Sickness that resembles the Animé Disease. PFA: ...Huh. Me: Headcanon: People with the Animé Disease have seen Slender Man. PFA: Yes. Me: They don't remember because one of the symptoms is amnesia. PFA: Yes.
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Post by Layla "Nimbus" Karimi on Feb 9, 2016 9:59:27 GMT -5
Student: Hey, guess what? Me: What? Student: I'm gonna be a musketeer when I grow up! Me: Oh? Student: *matter-of-factly* Yes, because musketeers are heroes. Other Student: And I'm gonna be a samurai when I grow up!
And during a different class...
Student: *comes into the classroom gargling water* Look, I sound like Chewbacca! Me: Hmm... I dunno, I think Chewbacca sounds a little deeper than that. Student: *tries gargling the water again* Me: *Makes a deep trilling sound to try and imitate Chewbacca* Other Student: *does the same* Me: Am I a cool teacher yet?
(I swear, I need to just start compiling the things my students say/weird things I end up saying because of a class and posting them every once in a while here XD)
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Post by Twillie on Feb 29, 2016 11:45:22 GMT -5
In class, someone's phone falls.
Kid: Bless you.
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Post by Yoyti on Mar 6, 2016 22:17:42 GMT -5
"Much like tenors are the violas of the chorus, violas are the tenors of the orchestra."
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Post by Rabbit ♠ on Mar 7, 2016 16:28:23 GMT -5
Ooh, this looks fun. Once upon a high school physics class...Dude Behind Me: Rabbit, I swear one day, I'll cut off your hair (I knew he was joking). *class laughs a bit* Me: If you do. Mr. Physics Teacher: I know you're really calm, but I bet that would make you snap. Friend Next to Me: I bet Rabbit would take the scissors and hurt him with them. Me: *referring to hair getting cut* You know, that actually happened to my mom- Mr. Physics Teacher: Your mother hurt someone with a pair of scissors? *class erupts into laughter* (Why I love my physics class.)
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Post by Gelquie on Apr 3, 2016 22:22:30 GMT -5
Driving home from the store, my little sister brings up something (relatively minor) that my mom did by accident when she was a teenager.
Me: Yeah, I think we can let that go, that was... how many decades ago? Mom: 40-- 4! Me and sister: xDD Me: How old are you again?! Mom: I'm actually immortal.
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Post by Yoyti on Apr 5, 2016 22:42:38 GMT -5
The following occurred at tonight's dress rehearsal for H.M.S. Pinafore. I will be referring to people as their roles in the production. That means that for the sake of consistency, I am CARPENTER.
DIRECTOR: Josephine, do you not have a hat in Act II? JOSEPHINE: It was labeled for Act I. Should I wear it in Act II? SISTER/COUSIN/AUNT: There are no hats in Act II. (Pause) CARPENTER: Does anyone still wear a hat? (Pause) ASSISTANT DIRECTOR: Very Company! CARPENTER: I think that's the first time I've made that reference and someone's gotten it. (Pause) And I make that reference a lot. ASSISTANT DIRECTOR: (Goes in for a high five.)
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Post by Allison on Apr 9, 2016 21:17:31 GMT -5
*background info* So today I got to eat breakfast with my AMAZING publications advisor from my Senior year of high school (my last year of HS was his first year at the school) and some fellow graduates of "Room 026" (pronounced oh-two-six). Basically, the advisor has set up an alumni scholarship where former students contribute money to award to a few graduating Seniors. A couple of the other girls, who graduated way after me and I didn't know, were talking about about something they had in the room...
Me, looking to advisor: We had... creatures. [referring to various non-human, non-caged "visitors"] Advisor: Yes. We haven't had creatures for awhile. Me: Well that's good.
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