Calculated Spontanity

[calvinseviltwin]

I'm sure you guys don't know this but my friend Melissa and I have started up a comic called "Calculated Spontanity" and I'd like some feedback on some scripts that I wrote!

Calculated Spontanity Presents:
"Untilted Week"
Vann: SO lemme get this straight. We're stuck as another cartoonist's characters for
an entire frigin week?
Zarephath: Kind of cheep I know.
Dave: YAY! WHEEE!
Pannel Two
Starbuck> I agree with dave! It could be fun.
Zarephath: The only FUN I see with this is I get to carry a gun around with me.
Pannel Three
Zarephath: Wait. This COULD be fun. (grinning)
Vann: Melissa and Megz are going to so regret this.
Dave: Yup...
Strip Two
Zarephath: So basically we get to take on other's apperances?
Vann: Yes.
Pannel Two
Zarephath: and get to have their personalities
Vann: YES.
Pannel Three
Zarephath: And get to live with killer guinie pigs?
Vann: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES ALREADY!
Strip Three
Dave: I can't believe I got stuck being bob. I dont' MIND being invisable. but.
Pannel Two
Dave: I feel a little left out! I can't even be online without someone sitting on me.
Pannel Three
Vann: It makes you easier to ignore.
Zarephath: So SHUT UP!
Pannel Four
Dave: I feel very loved. No really.
END!

Calculated Spontanity Presents
"Treasure Planet" Week
Zarephath: Yet again Melissa and Megz have forced us into another rediculous week.
Dave: Yeah... now I'm being forced to solar surf against my will.
vann: Hmm... do you think I can leap across a mast?
Pannel Two
Zarphath: I'm a blob of pink jello. It could NOT get any worse than this!
Vann: Wait till you see what happened to starbuck
Dave: Is she...
Pannel Three
(starbuck enter, with mechincal arm and leg)
Starbuck: MY THIS IS HEAVY
Zarephath: However, this week could provide some comical entertainment
Dave: Shut up and show me how to work the darn solar surfer.
Strip Two
vann:(atop a mast) Now, if I have to be captain Amelia I'm going to try what she does in the
movie
Pannel Two: (vann leaping down)
vann: HAHA!
Pannel three (vann landing flat on her head)
Vann: Not another word from any of you!
Zarephath: I have two. You moron...
Dave: HEY! You're bleeding on my nice clean deck!
Starbuck: SHUT UP DAVE!
Strip Three
Dave: SO lemme get this straight... by the end of the movie I have a pet blob?
Zarephath: Sadly, I'm the pink blob
Pannel Two
Vann: But you're not pink. Yet.
Pannel Three
(Dave and Vann grinning evily)
Zarephath: Don't even THINk about it
Pannel Four (dave and vann painting Zarephath pink)
Zarephath: I hate you both.
Strip Four:
Zarephath: Are you guys POSTIVE that today's the last day for this?
Dave: I hope so.
Starbuck: SO dave, what will be your new decoration for your dorm?
Pannel Two
Dave: I was thinking M*A*S*H!
Zarephath: If this includes a Spam lamb I'm outta here.
Pannel Three
(little magical cloud going poof)
Pannel FOur (everyone back to normal)
Zarephath: Good. I'm no longer pink.
Vann: And i'm not forced to leap down masts.
Dave: OK! New theme for my dorm! SPAM!
Starbuck: I'm now afraid...
END!

Calculated Spontanity in
"Dave's Redecorating"
Pannel One
Vann: I can't believe that moron called us down to see his darn dorm
zarephath: He's been redecorating every week (has hand on the door knob)
Pannel Two:
(walk in... outer space setting)
Zarephath: Wow. It's like a Calvin and Hobbes fantasy on lowbrow production costs!
Vann: You don't say.
Pannel Three:
Zarephath: So.. don't we get a red space ship or something
Vann: I worry about you sometimes...
Strip Two
Zarephath: See! Ha! A red space ship!
Vann: Oh Dave, I'm gonna smack you for this
Pannel Two
(both in the space ship)
Zarephath: WHAHOO! LIGHT SPEED
vann: Does this thing come with a barf bag?
Pannel Three
Zarephath: You know spaceman spiff never got ship sick
Vann: I"M NOT SPACEMAN SPIFF YOU LUNKHEAD!
Strip Three
(Arriving in a 'docking station')
vann: Great. Now we're in STAR WARS
Zarephath: I think I'd cry if Dave was dressed as Luke Skywalker
Pannel Two
Dave (dresses as darth vader) Luke. I am your father
Vann/Zarephath: (snicker snort)
Pannel Three
Dave: (holding helmet in hands) Do you think it's a little much?
Zarephath/Vann: (on the floor laughing)
Pannel Four:
Dave: Nevermind. I'll ask you when you regain your sanity.
END!

Calculated Spontanity
Script: Cartoony Clothes
Pannel One
(Dave and Starbuck sitting on a table, reading news paper)
Starbuck: Hey dave. Isn't it weird how comic strip characters ALWAYS wear the same thing
Dave: You mean day after day, month after month?
Pannel Two
Starbuck: And year after year.
Dave: Yeah why?
Pannel Three
Starbuck: I noticed you haven't changed your clothes since the first grade as well
Dave: (grumble) So I can't do laundry. Shut up.
END!

[Princess Ember Mononoke]

Show us when you get them drawn out! It will be easier to keep the characters straight that way.

[Deleted]

Yeah, I sorta phased out after I read the first comic. I sorta started just, ,scrolling downwards and stuff...

Sounds interetsing, tho!

[calvinseviltwin]

I gotta scan some stuff in tomorrow. Melissa's scanner is broken, so now I have that responsibily.

Zarephath: The Sarcastic One.
Vann: The Insane Protaginist
Dave: The Moron (who insits on redecorating his dorm every single week)
Starbuck: The Optimist
Wolfgang: The Phillosopher

Note: They are all insane in their own way. I.E.
"Do you wanna play spaceman spiff?"
"No."
"Sure?"
"Yes"
"postive?"
"yes"
"100%?"
"YES"
"last chance!"
"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN! ASK ME AGAIN AND YOU'RE NAME IS MUD!"-Starbuck and Wolfgang

[Lappi]

Lol. Yes, I agree with ember. It's all very good, but I just don't know about the swearing . . . but it's very good!! Really!! I'm telling the truth here. HEY, I SAID, I'M TELLING THE TRUTH!

[calvinseviltwin]

adoriblelapin said:

Lol. Yes, I agree with ember. It's all very good, but I just don't know about the swearing . . . but it's very good!! Really!! I'm telling the truth here. HEY, I SAID, I'M TELLING THE TRUTH!

Calm down. *grins* Dave's Redecorating is my personal favourite...

[bludragn3]

So wait a second. Is this like a webcomic or something, totally separate from Neopets? I was confused about that at first.

But I can't really judge a comic with only a script. I need some actual comics drawn out! And I mean like NOW! Or tomorrow. Or whenever you get them, I'm in no hurry.

[calvinseviltwin]

I uploaded a few of our finished comics.

Vann's IQ
www.imagemagician.com/images/calvinandhobbes/cs1.JPG
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www.imagemagician.com/images/calvinandhobbes/cs3.JPG
[/img]

And the begining of "Attack of the Pancakes"
www.imagemagician.com/images/calvinandhobbes/cs2.JPG
[/img]

[Lappi]

Lol. it's very good.

[calvinseviltwin]

Melissa is glad you like.

[bludragn3]

Hee, I like it.

My favorite of the two you have posted is, of course, the "Vann's IQ" one.

[calvinseviltwin]

Bluey said:

Hee, I like it.

My favorite of the two you have posted is, of course, the "Vann's IQ" one.

Heeh. Zarephath's face is priceless in the last pannel of the second strip.

The beinging of "attaack of the pancakes" is hard to get. Starbuck's a very bad cook and when she does cook, something goes very awray... this time... the pancakes become spiders... Melissa has to colour it in.