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Post by Dream on Feb 6, 2007 16:23:15 GMT -5
Two 55-fics I wrote. If you don't get the point of either of them, feel free to say so-- I want to know how good they are or aren't.
The Betrayal
Liaisons without consequences, the advert screams.
After your night of romance at our agency, we'll scientifically erase your memory of it completely, for a guaranteed guilt-free morning.
Intriguing concept… though of course I'd never...
No. These liars need telling not to scam the public.
I stride in. The receptionist glances up.
"Oh, hello, Mr. Jackson!"
Hope Lives
From heaven, he wondered what had become of her, that rebel student the Leader'd ordered killed. Until, one day, he saw her.
"You're dead, then," he said regretfully.
Disobeying was meaningless… after all.
"You speak my language?" she asked, delighted.
"Yes…."
"Tallal Nevia." An outstretched hand. "President of the New Democracy. When I was alive."
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Post by Torey on Feb 7, 2007 11:23:43 GMT -5
I love your style of writing, but I don't understand these 55 fics. Perhaps you could tell me more about them on MSN ^^
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Post by Ice on Feb 7, 2007 15:47:42 GMT -5
I think they've got to be 55 words or under, is that right?
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Post by Dream on Feb 7, 2007 16:43:14 GMT -5
55 words exactly is generally the done thing.
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Post by kittygirl on Feb 7, 2007 17:09:14 GMT -5
I loved the second one. The first one I don't get the last line.
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Post by Dream on Feb 7, 2007 18:40:43 GMT -5
Kitty: How does she know his name? Unless...
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Post by Elcie on Feb 7, 2007 18:54:25 GMT -5
They took a couple read-throughs for me to fully understand, but I like them a lot. ^^ Especially the first.
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Post by Dream on Feb 7, 2007 19:38:17 GMT -5
Oh, thank goodness, the second one actually made sense to someone?
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Post by kittygirl on Feb 7, 2007 20:28:11 GMT -5
Kitty: How does she know his name? Unless... Oh. XDD I like it. But a little too subtle.
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Post by Dream on Feb 1, 2008 8:56:47 GMT -5
Bumped after almost a year!
Whiteout
The correction fluid bottle seemed to glow in her withered hand. The first spilt drop on the autobiography was accidental. Then, though, she felt a compulsion to keep erasing.
His death. Children. Their marriage.
"Grandma? It's Tony..."
Who was...?
The last words faded. The little girl flapped her wings playfully, stepping into the dazzling sunshine.
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Post by Dan on Feb 1, 2008 20:17:30 GMT -5
I like these! The first one you posted (from a year ago) and this new one, are really nice. ^__^ Cool concept, maybe I'll give one a try one day.
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Post by Dream on Feb 5, 2008 9:39:52 GMT -5
Thanks for the kind comments, Dan.
Another one.
Liebestod
She writes unimaginably beautiful murder mysteries with her friends as characters.
Ben took the world's most exquisite bullet to the heart. Lucy's final flame burnt brightly. Nothing could have been more bittersweet than the poison in the glass Rachel drank willingly.
Her talent thrills my soul.
But I remain alive. Because she'll never notice me.
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