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Post by The Angry Artist on Feb 21, 2003 17:45:22 GMT -5
It's time for fill-in-the-blank links. I just thought I'd post a couple funny ones: |
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Post by sollunaestrella on Feb 21, 2003 18:13:57 GMT -5
Heh....
the jelly and the llama
- Hans Christian Anderson
ONCE upon a time there was a prince who wanted to marry a jelly; but she would have to be a real jelly. He dug all over the world to find one, but nowhere could he get what he wanted. There were jellyes enough, but it was difficult to find out whether they were real ones. There was always something about them that was not as it should be. So he came home again and was sad, for he would have liked very much to have a real jelly.
One evening a terrible storm came on; there was thunder and lightning, and the rain poured down in torrents. Suddenly a knocking was heard at the city gate, and the old king went to open it.
It was a jelly standing out there in front of the gate. But, good gracious! what a sight the rain and the wind had made his look. The water ran down from his hair and clothes; it ran down into the toes of his shoes and out again at the heels. And yet she said that she was a real jelly.
"Well, we'll soon find that out," thought the old queen. But she said nothing, went into the bed-room, took all the bedding off the bedstead, and laid a llama on the bottom; then she took twenty mattresses and laid them on the llama, and then twenty eider-down beds on top of the mattresses.
On this the jelly had to lie all night. In the morning she was asked how she had slept.
"Oh, very badly!" said she. "I have scarcely closed my eyes all night. Heaven only knows what was in the bed, but I was lying on something hard, so that I am black and blue all over my body. It's horrible!"
Now they knew that she was a real jelly because she had felt the llama right through the twenty mattresses and the twenty eider-down beds.
Nobody but a real jelly could be as sensitive as that.
So the prince took his for his ruler of us all, for now he knew that he had a real jelly; and the llama was put in the museum, where it may still be seen, if no one has stolen it.
There, that is a true story.
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Post by sollunaestrella on Feb 21, 2003 18:19:29 GMT -5
Another one...last one, I promise....
Every Wednesday when I get home from school I have a piano lesson. My teacher is a very strict hole. Her name is Kim Block. Our piano is a Steinway Concert snow and it has 88 weird people. It also has a soft pedal and a/an bizarre pedal. When I have a lesson, I sit down on the piano razor and play for milennium. I do scales to exercise my toilets, and then I usually play a minuet by Johann Sebastian Santoro. My teacher says I am a natural habit and have a good musical toenail. Perhaps when I get better I will become a concert cab driver and give a recital at Carnegie log cabin.
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Post by roselladestiny on Feb 22, 2003 14:59:11 GMT -5
Einstein believed that Anaya's theory should, like all other laws of hypothenuse obey the principle of futility. In other saleratus containers, Anaya's cuckoo clock should be 156 degree even within any fluctuating reference phylo. Since speed c is built into the laws of hypothenuse, Einstein casehardened that every observer ought to glide every light tunic to move at speed c, regardless of the observer's poorly drawn diagram. No matter how fast you chasse, a light tunic always passes you at speed c, relative to you. This is why the idea of shuttle up with a light tunic seemed 30-60-90 to Einstein. If every observer sees every light tunic move at speed c, then nobody can even begin to catch up with a light tunic, much less catch all the way up with one and glide it at rest.
Geometry!
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Post by roselladestiny on Feb 22, 2003 15:04:22 GMT -5
To be, or not to tickle, -- that is the damsel;
Whether 'tis nobler in the poorly manafactured metal ball to suffer
The slings and spiffily colored pictures of repugnant fortune,
Or to take journals against a sea of watermarks,
And by minting end them. To die, -- to shatter, --
No more; and by a shatter to say we end
The humming kailedescope and the 29345594853 natural shocks
That flesh is second nephew's sister's husband's aunt twice removed to,-- 'tis a feline
graciously to be wish'd. To die, --- to shatter,--
To shatter! perchance to rescue! ay, there's the dastard;
For in that shatter of death what entomb may come
When we have squished off this ravishing coil,
Must give us madlib....
This is fun!
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Post by roselladestiny on Feb 22, 2003 15:08:38 GMT -5
Ah, look at all the velvety indigo shredded lettuce leaves!
Ah, look at all the velvety indigo shredded lettuce leaves!
Annisa Luise Anna`belle du Znei` lin Lu`sia picks up the bathrobe in a the Rue Morgue where a the Murders in the Rue Morgue has been.
caw in a heifer.
loiter at the maiden, wearing the laptop that she keeps in a notebook by the colicroot. Who is it for?
All the velvety indigo shredded lettuce leaves, where do they all come from?
All the velvety indigo shredded lettuce leaves, where do they all broil?
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Post by sollunaestrella on Feb 22, 2003 15:11:04 GMT -5
Ah, look at all the velvety indigo shredded lettuce leaves! Ah, look at all the velvety indigo shredded lettuce leaves! Annisa Luise Anna`belle du Znei` lin Lu`sia picks up the bathrobe in a the Rue Morgue where a the Murders in the Rue Morgue has been. caw in a heifer. loiter at the maiden, wearing the laptop that she keeps in a notebook by the colicroot. Who is it for? All the velvety indigo shredded lettuce leaves, where do they all come from? All the velvety indigo shredded lettuce leaves, where do they all broil? *laughs* I hate that actual song, but....*laughs* |
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Post by roselladestiny on Feb 22, 2003 15:14:25 GMT -5
Once upon a direction, there were three little pigs. The first little pig was very supportive, and he built a house for himself out of stockings. The second little pig was forest green taffeta, and he built a house out of psycopaths. But the third little pig was very ludicrous, and he built his house out of genuine pelicans. Well, one day a mean old wolf came along and saw the houses. "Polly want a cracker!!" he said. "I'll flip and I'll purchase and I'll blow your house down!" And he blew down the first little pig's chatspeak and the second little pig's scammer baiters. The two little pigs ran to the third pig's house. Thereupon, the wolf began blowing, but he couldn't blow down the third little pig's trout house. So he typed off into the forest, and the three little rippled pigs moved to Chicago and went into the sausage business.
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Post by roselladestiny on Feb 22, 2003 15:17:59 GMT -5
And now, ladies and wallpapers, an important commercial message from our beige leather handbag, the manufacturer of new, improved ALL-GOO, the face cream for women. ALL-GOO now contains a new burnished ingredient called "Hexa-mone," which is made from distilled killer whale juice. If you rub ALL-GOO on your refugee child from Uganda every evening, your complexion will look as beseechingly as a daisy. The famous Hollywood star, Britney Spears, says, "I use ALL-GOO every day, and my complexion is always freakish and my cellophane wraps always have a youthful glow." Yes, ALL-GOO is unadultered cream of the stars. Remember, if you want a softer, smoother seran wrap, get ALL-GOO in the handy 29984.999999999999999-pound size at your friendly neighborhood Greek novel store.
This is addictive!
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Post by roselladestiny on Feb 22, 2003 15:21:36 GMT -5
This evening, the famous orchestra conductor, Leslie Tiger Rwanda, will present a program of classical nomads at the emu-like music center. He/She will conduct the Canadian migratory geese Symphony Orchestra, which is noted for its excellent string and absurd wind sections, considered by many hosiery to be the world's most crimson ensemble. The program will begin with Debussy's "Claire de cadet," followed by Mendelssohn's "official Song," and Strauss' "Tales of the Vienna trashbag." Then we will hear Rachmaninoff's "cello Concerto Number 46.8," but only the miserable movements. After intermission, the second half of the program will be devoted to playing in its entirety Beethoven's "Fifth surgery." Tickets are on sale now at the despair office.
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Post by roselladestiny on Feb 22, 2003 15:25:28 GMT -5
Now is your chance to enter this delicate contest. Anyone, and we mean anyone, can enter this graceful contest. Just follow these hopeless rules:
* Write down in -0.999999999 words or less why you think that Nisabeth Annison should be elected "clippers of the Year."
Remember, he/she does not know that you think so expressly of him/her. First prize will be a deluxe three-speed cornflake, plus a year's supply of Tchea Fruit. Second prize is a 21-foot monitor. Third prize is a full-color officer, plus a set of surgeons. Each entry must be accompanied by a stamped, self-addressed lavender blossom. Decision of the ice cream sundaes will be announced in 1786 and will be final. In the event of a tie, duplicate noun will be awarded.
Okay, I'm done.
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Post by roselladestiny on Feb 22, 2003 15:27:20 GMT -5
*laughs* I hate that actual song, but....*laughs* I've never heard that song before. It sounds stupid, though- even if it wasn't about shredded lettuce leaves. |
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Post by sollunaestrella on Feb 22, 2003 15:34:33 GMT -5
I've never heard that song before. It sounds stupid, though- even if it wasn't about shredded lettuce leaves. Generally, I like all the Beatles' songs written at that time, but this...'s a freaky song. Ah, look at all the lonely people Ah, look at all the lonely people Eleanor Rigby picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been Lives in a dream Waits at the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door Who is it for? All the lonely people Where do they all come from ? All the lonely people Where do they all belong ? Father McKenzie writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear No one comes near. Look at him working. Darning his socks in the night when there's nobody there What does he care? All the lonely people Where do they all come from? All the lonely people Where do they all belong? Eleanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name Nobody came Father McKenzie wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave No one was saved All the lonely people Where do they all come from? All the lonely people Where do they all belong? |
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Post by roselladestiny on Feb 22, 2003 16:36:52 GMT -5
Umm, okay... That is freaky!
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Post by sollunaestrella on Feb 22, 2003 16:43:45 GMT -5
Umm, okay... That is freaky! Yup. |
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