Issue 875 Discussion Thread (Folklore and Legends Collab!)

[Carolyn]

Issue 875

Articles
Making A Legend: Turning History Into Folklore by Duke Pikachu


Short Stories

Harmony's Melody by Carolyn

A Faerie with Crystal Eyes by downrightdude


Comics
Sauna Day, Part 4 by Huntress

Trouble in Paradise: Urban Legends by Rabbit ♠


Series
The Sisters of Pillar Grove: Part Nine by Blueysicle


The Book of the Twelve by Herdy


A Story of the Haunted Woods: Part One by June Scarlet

A Storytellers' Journey Through Legends and Folklore by RielCZ

The Lost Tomb of the Old Kingdom  by CrimsonShroud

And the Editorial!

[CrimsonShroud]

Here is my series submission: The Lost Tomb of the Old Kingdom

Thanks!

[downrightdude]

Hooray for new collab!

*throws books at people*

[Twillie]

Sauna Day Part 4 Huntress
I'll go back for the previous Sauna Day parts soon, but for now I wanted to knock out the first few reviews of mine for this issue, including comics!

Lol, why do I get the feeling that this comic is just an opportunity for some rl rants about personal sauna experiences? xD Maybe their neighbors will catch wind of Saura's technique, revolutionize the sauna scene in Happy Valley.

I always dig Saura's straight face reaction to things, how he always has a practical approach or perspective to whatever's going on since he's typically the one to get things done. I'm a sucker for deadpan characters anyway, so his wordless lighting the fire is a nice punchline that gets a chuckle from me each time x3 Makes me wonder just how long he's been using the petpet for lighting things, if he's been doing it for a long while and Shad is really just that oblivious x3

Trouble in Paradise: Urban Legends Rabbit ♠
Ha, someone with the ability to weave your future, both good and bad, does sound like a cryptid or urban legend in the eyes of a character x3 Poor things, I can't imagine the feeling of realizing that such a being is indeed your own writer.

Sisters of Pillar Grove Blueysicle
Interesting, Jacenty dropping his Sway ring and letting it fall aside, indicating that he's falling more and more off the rails and getting more desperate to fulfill his own wishes. There's little more driving him other than his own goals, but they're strong enough to keep him going. Only thing now is that he's not answering to anyone other than himself, making him more dangerous in that there's less strings tying him down. I can't imagine that it'll be easy for him to get away from the Sway's grasp after this though, if this turns out with him getting way in some way, especially if he's defecting from their orders on him.

Lol this thing keeps happening in that I wonder how a certain plot point had worked out before, and then it's explained to me not one part after that x3 This time, just how Hallow was kept imprisoned if he's able to morph his way out of most any situation. Although for whatever reason, I envisioned the furnace as melting him over hardening him; I haven't taken enough sculpting classes clearly x3 Another thing I've been wondering though is about Halloy's foot cannon; it says that he's shooting amber out of them, but is this the same unique amber that Pillar Grove got from the Earth Faerie? I thought that amber was all rendered moot of magic, unless Halloy doesn't need them to be magical to use them as projectiles (which would make sense).

Oh boy, I feel like a lot could happen with Lumin confronting them. A lot of potential in him ending up fighting Jacenty and/or Zircon, which I feel is likely because of the all the previous tension between Lumin and Zircon. Even though it wouldn't be a legitimate fight between the two as Zircon is being controlled, there'd probably still be underlying feelings coming out between the two finally fighting each other. And while that's my main guess of what will happen, some kind of fight with Lumin that will simultaneously dig up his past, there may be other paths this could go down, as Lumin thus far has been a rather mysterious character. A lot of his past has been hinted at, but in terms of the active story he hasn't shown off much of his abilities yet. At least for me, he could be capable of a number of things.

[Blueysicle]

Twillie :

Interesting, Jacenty dropping his Sway ring and letting it fall aside, indicating that he's falling more and more off the rails and getting more desperate to fulfill his own wishes. There's little more driving him other than his own goals, but they're strong enough to keep him going. Only thing now is that he's not answering to anyone other than himself, making him more dangerous in that there's less strings tying him down. I can't imagine that it'll be easy for him to get away from the Sway's grasp after this though, if this turns out with him getting way in some way, especially if he's defecting from their orders on him.

Precisely. For all his self-righteous posturing about how he serves the Sway for “the greater good,” Jacenty is ultimately a narcissist that wants Neopia to run the way he wants it to be run – the rest of the Sway be darned.

Lol this thing keeps happening in that I wonder how a certain plot point had worked out before, and then it's explained to me not one part after that x3 This time, just how Hallow was kept imprisoned if he's able to morph his way out of most any situation. Although for whatever reason, I envisioned the furnace as melting him over hardening him; I haven't taken enough sculpting classes clearly x3 Another thing I've been wondering though is about Halloy's foot cannon; it says that he's shooting amber out of them, but is this the same unique amber that Pillar Grove got from the Earth Faerie? I thought that amber was all rendered moot of magic, unless Halloy doesn't need them to be magical to use them as projectiles (which would make sense).

Well, if you want to harden a clay pot, you put it in a kiln, right? (Incidentally, this is also why Halloy built his laboratory around so much water, since he's far less likely to dry out next to an underground river, rather than if he decided to go deeper into Moltara where it's like a furnace everywhere. XD)

Remember that the storage of amber within Lumberjack was protected by aversion stone glass, which blocked the magical wave that the earth faerie used to destroy the rest of the amber in Pillar Grove. However, I should have made it clearer that Halloy was able to grab some amber from that at some point before leaving Lumberjack, as Jacenty did earlier, so I apologize for the confusion.

Oh boy, I feel like a lot could happen with Lumin confronting them. A lot of potential in him ending up fighting Jacenty and/or Zircon, which I feel is likely because of the all the previous tension between Lumin and Zircon. Even though it wouldn't be a legitimate fight between the two as Zircon is being controlled, there'd probably still be underlying feelings coming out between the two finally fighting each other. And while that's my main guess of what will happen, some kind of fight with Lumin that will simultaneously dig up his past, there may be other paths this could go down, as Lumin thus far has been a rather mysterious character. A lot of his past has been hinted at, but in terms of the active story he hasn't shown off much of his abilities yet. At least for me, he could be capable of a number of things.

Haha, Lumin is... not at all a fighter. He's small, scrawny, and completely helpless in combat, whether physically or magically. That's why Jacenty thought it so pathetic that Lumin was standing in their way at the end of the chapter. Lumin's an anomaly as far as Firefly royalty is concerned, as Firefly monarchs have typically doubled as warriors. His weakness is a point that will be addressed pretty soon, and at the same time some of Lumin's past will be addressed. I'll admit, one of the big reasons why I wrote this arc in the first place was to give me a chance to reveal a little bit of Lumin's backstory.

That being said, though, Lumin may still have some tricks up his sleeve, so just be patient...

Thanks for the review! (I know this is the third time I said as much today, but I just wanted to make absolutely sure I didn't forget to say it at all this time around. XP)

[Twillie]

Aug 18, 2019 23:46:14 GMT -5 Blueysicle said:

Twillie :
Well, if you want to harden a clay pot, you put it in a kiln, right? (Incidentally, this is also why Halloy built his laboratory around so much water, since he's far less likely to dry out next to an underground river, rather than if he decided to go deeper into Moltara where it's like a furnace everywhere. XD)

Remember that the storage of amber within Lumberjack was protected by aversion stone glass, which blocked the magical wave that the earth faerie used to destroy the rest of the amber in Pillar Grove. However, I should have made it clearer that Halloy was able to grab some amber from that at some point before leaving Lumberjack, as Jacenty did earlier, so I apologize for the confusion.

Lol, my middle school days of firing crappy clay pots in the kiln have gone to waste </3 And ey, clever x3

Ohh that's right, yeah! Probably a consequence of taking such a long gap in between reading each part, and it just slipped my mind.

Haha, Lumin is... not at all a fighter. He's small, scrawny, and completely helpless in combat, whether physically or magically. That's why Jacenty thought it so pathetic that Lumin was standing in their way at the end of the chapter. Lumin's an anomaly as far as Firefly royalty is concerned, as Firefly monarchs have typically doubled as warriors. His weakness is a point that will be addressed pretty soon, and at the same time some of Lumin's past will be addressed. I'll admit, one of the big reasons why I wrote this arc in the first place was to give me a chance to reveal a little bit of Lumin's backstory.

That being said, though, Lumin may still have some tricks up his sleeve, so just be patient...

Haha I forgot about that xD Only later when I was reading more (because I've started reading the earlier series as well, am in the middle of Infinity I right now >w>) did I see the description of him being scrawny and remembered "Oh yeah there goes that earlier theory out the window." xD Although I'm still betting on Dramaz coming out between the two! But yes, we shall have to see...

[CrimsonShroud]

Review Time!

Articles:

Making A Legend: Turning History Into Folklore by Duke Pikachu

SPOILER: Click to show

An interesting read on the many different ways stories are recorded, told and retold by the many worlds Neopia has to offer. From the detailed descriptions on the use of hieroglyphs and scrolls in the Lost Desert to the digital database entries of Virtupets and Kreludor.

"but a certain Krawk braggart has given us trouble as he had muddled everyone’s memory of the event."

Ah, that Aurrik, as if the world needed another troublesome Krawk to mess with history for his/her own benefit/amusement, last thing this world needs is another Mr. Krawley.

Ever since Governor McGill took charge of Krawk Island there has been a concern about the preservation of Krawk Island’s history. McGill had proclaimed that Krawk Island’s history would now be remembered more than ever with the opening of the McGill’s National Library, but questions of bias remain.

Eh, make that two more Krawks meddling with Neopia's history for their own benefit.

I find it interesting how vague a lot of the details of each world's history is, kind of like how Neopets itself has a talent for including, for a virtual pet site, an immense amount of lore yet at the same time, a lot is kept vague, with little to no new information on said worlds added since then.

Who knows how history will play out in the future, and who will be left to tell them the whole truth? I suppose, only time will tell.

Nice work, Pik!

[Duke Pikachu]

SHORT STORIES:
Harmony's Melody by Carolyn

SPOILER: Click to show

Some Thoughts/Jokes While Reading:

SPOILER: Click to show

There could be no happier family than they.

But as with all things, there must be change.

That was when the Fire Nation attacked.

Sighing, the Bruce removed his glasses and held them in his flipper. "Miss. Not to deter your enthusiasm, but I shan't willingly set you on a path of poverty and despair. It wouldn't be responsible."

Now I know this is a tale of fiction. In real life he's not only sell her the plot with no hesitation but jack up the price and put her on a payment plan with rising interest rates.

A marrow the size of her house covered the center of the plot. Only this was no ordinary marrow—it was bright yellow and shimmering in the sun.

It's The Great Marrow, Harmony Planter!

"Well, don't look at me. This isn't caused by any magic I know. Sure is weird, though." Everyone's gaze traveled to the red Zafara from yesterday. She was curiously poking around the vegetable. "And I don't think Lisha has the capability to cast anything quite this powerful.

Lisha: "S'cuse me? I released a Nova Storm over the Darigan Citadel with a cardboard wand!"
Kayla: "Were the Nova made of giant golden Marrows?"
Lisha: "Of course not."
Kayla: "Then my point stands!"

A very nice story about how hard work, undettered willpower, and a pure heart can lead one from rags to riches. It reads like a more refined Grimm's fairy tale, especially with the pacing and simple characterization.

If there's anything I would fault it on is the "more refined" part. Particularly trying to explain away things. I feel you could have removed the parts with Kayla and her friends and not only would it not affect the story but possibly improved it. Kayla sort of broke the moment with the giant golden Marrow with her comments on it being not her or Lisha's magic. That's not the point of the moment, and if you just not included them earlier in the story no one would even think that would be the case.

However such a small part doesn't affect the story in anyway, so I give it a !

A Faerie with Crystal Eyes by downrightdude

SPOILER: Click to show

I read the story and found it entertaining with a nice little moral at the end. I do have some criticisms but feel they should be discussed via PM if you're interested in hearing them. Nothing bad I assure you, just little things I felt conflicted with the story.

I give it a .

COMICS:
Sauna Day by Huntress

SPOILER: Click to show

So, funny thing, just before I realized you got the next part of your story submitted I just found your thread where you discussed the issues you've been having of your comic parts being skipped. And since you posted all the parts of your story there I read through them all. So because of that I'm going to give a review of your comics on that thread instead of here. But if I were to say something now I would say all the comics had something to chuckle at so I would give it a .

Trouble in Paradise: Urban Legends by Rabbit ♠

SPOILER: Click to show

Hey now, it's MY job to pull in unwitting readers leading to an endless lifetime of suffering! 

Just kidding! (well, not entirely, just kidding about the being angry part; we can all share in the endless lifetime of suffering...)

Nice punchline, admittedly saw it coming but your nonchalant acceptance of being the story-former sold it for me. I give it a  .

SERIES:
(If you'll like me to read and give my thoughts on your series just ask me via PM.

The Lost Tomb of the Old Kingdom by CrimsonShroud

SPOILER: Click to show

Some Thoughts/Jokes While Reading:

SPOILER: Click to show

Clara lifted her head to meet Arthur's gaze with weary eyes. She raised a hand, pointing behind her. Arthur looked, a trail of empty waterskins several yards apart from each other, stretched as far as the path they traveled.

Great work, Clara! Now all you need to do is follow the waterskin trail back from where you came from.

"I promise, sis', we won't. From now on, we'll take the airships." Arthur replied.

You could have gone by airship but chose to hike through the scorching desert... I think you were lost way before stepping onto the desert.

Without a word, the blue Yurble pointed to the west. Arthur looked; there was something in the distance that stood out against the monotonous color of the sands. His eyes widened. Miles away, almost at the horizon, was a huge cloud of dust that stretched high enough to reach the sky. It was moving fast, riding with the wind, coming closer and closer with every passing second.

Oh no, Immortan Joe and the War Boys! RUN!

The storm was coming for them, the wind started to pick up, casting sand into the air, shifting the dunes as it ravaged through the desert, threatening to envelop its escaping prey.

"We've got to get off the sand!" Arthur exclaimed.

Its Graboids?!

She felt the sands shift, rising and piling up underneath her, between her toes, up to her feet, then her legs.

He ran up to her, reached into his knapsack and gave her another spare waterskin and a small healing potion.

How many spare waterskins does Authur have, this is the third one?

Clara's eyes were drawn to the empty, dark void, peering down into the depths. She could feel the ice-cold air breeze past her, chilling her to the bone.

Just what Clara needed after barely escaping a life threatening situation, a good ol' helping of PTSD!

"Alright, you guys know the drill, right? If you see any sign of movement, see or hear anything out of the ordinary, we get ourselves out, immediately. Got it?"

I would say it's smarter to just wait until the sandstorm subsides, but knowing your luck you'll probably be attacked by a sand worm the likes of which Fyora has never seen (why yes, I only made this comment so I could make the Dune reference).

"Well, well, well... what do we have here?" the mummy said, its voice was that of a female, her expression unreadable, "children?"

Oh, well at least this time the monster speaks common Neopian. Maybe you can convince her this is all just some wacky misunderstanding. Just remember if she invites you for dinner to decline, because you're probably the dinner". Ooh, say you supported The Awakened during the Obelisk War, that could give you an advantage on your persuasion roll!

Well, here we go again!

As a part 1 it was pretty good. The pacing felt just right, it established the situation and the character's personalities for those who haven't read previous entries, and sets up a suspenseful and intriguing cliffhanger that makes you want to read the next part. If I were to take this story by itself I wouldn't have any complaints aside the infinite amount of extra waterskins that Arthur apparently has (I'm joking). Though being I have read the previous stories which they even mentioned I can't help but feel they keep asking for bad stuff to happen to them due to the poor decisions they keep making. Yeah, yeah, if they didn't then we wouldn't have a story, and I guess they showed they did learn something from the last dark crypt they explored.

Eitherway, looking forward to the next part, as for this part I give it a . 

[Twillie]

Harmony's Melody by Carolyn
Aw, this was such a sweet story! From the tone of the story and how you wrote Harmony's character, I had a feeling this wouldn't be a story without a happy ending, but some of the turns the plot took I didn't quite predict. I especially love love love the idea of Harmony's voice having actual magical properties to it; Neopia as a world with magic hidden anywhere or with anyone is one of my favorite things about it! 

It was nice as well how supportive the rest of the village was to Harmony, that her efforts towards the others in the market was able to pay off as well. It can be easy to make cynical assumptions about strangers, what they may or may not do to help out someone else, so I like seeing a change of pace with that and assuring the power of community :3

A Faerie with Crystal Eyes by downrightdude
Are Light Faeries canonically good at fortune telling? I'm kind of out of it regarding Faerie canon, so I forget the special powers for each element x3

Ha, the bit where Audriana skipped out actually walking the hike was a funny touch x3 And Victor not even commenting on this negatively, like nothing can break his spirit, I thought was an amusing contrast to that.

I wonder how long Victor may stick to his hiking and adventuring life plan- he seems the type to get excited of something very quickly, but not sure how long he actually sticks to it. Either way, sounds like a fun way to spend one's life, and I'm lowkey jealous I can't just go out and wander the land for hidden creatures too lol.

[downrightdude]

Merci Twillie!

I don't think they are, but I made them so for my story! Might expand on this in a future series if I ever recover from procrastination fever.

[Liou]

June Scarlet

SPOILER: Click to show

Hiya June! As I may have given away by visiting Saskori for trick-or-treating, I have been giving this series a proper read.

I liked how the intro gave us a look into Storyweaver's PoV and what drove her from the start. Her observations and what she focuses on are fitting for her character.
Same goes for Saskori, that's a neat little intro, and her more detailed physical description already shows how Story shifts the focus away from herself. The two have a nice dynamic from the first part, with Saskori being the sassy lampshader to Story's more whimsical manner.

I'm curious how Storyweaver knew Saskori's exact age. It does add to the mystery.
As for Monster Taming, I'd be interested to hear more about this, and possibly her opinions of certain monster hunters from a spooky food eating contest.

At first I was a little surprised that Story's voice was not described, since it takes a particular voice to tell stories, but since her personality is self-effacing, it is fitting that she stays in the background of her stories.

That tree has personality. At first I was mostly expecting it to act as a convenient safe location for Story and Saskori to talk without having to worry about Saskori's family and why they're letting a kid roam around the woods, but then it seemed to grow into its own character. (Commenting on its depiction in the next parts too.) I like how it seems to have its own language, made of storybookish sayings. If there was another kid wandering the woods and focused on speaking to the trees, that could be spin-off material.

More to come but I am dropping this now to make sure I continue because I started this too long ago. >.>

[charming thievery]

Sorry, this is really belated, but as the thread was at the top, I clicked. 

Rabbit ♠

SPOILER: Click to show

Can I just say I absolutely LOVE how you rendered that first panel? It's such a smooth and neat transition and it very effectively gives the impression that the story-former is a very ominous and forbidding entity. The whole effect - black gradient, depiction of just the hand holding the pencil, paper falling, speech bubbles and scrolling transition, your character's expression and pose - lends itself perfectly as the visuals to a rather sinister urban legend being told. Like seriously, well done. I'm really impressed.

As for the rest...I think Twillie put it best. Her review is what made me decide to check it out because it sounded like such a hilarious concept. xD

[June Scarlet]

Nov 12, 2019 17:33:18 GMT -5 Liou said:

June Scarlet

SPOILER: Click to show

Hiya June! As I may have given away by visiting Saskori for trick-or-treating, I have been giving this series a proper read.

I liked how the intro gave us a look into Storyweaver's PoV and what drove her from the start. Her observations and what she focuses on are fitting for her character.
Same goes for Saskori, that's a neat little intro, and her more detailed physical description already shows how Story shifts the focus away from herself. The two have a nice dynamic from the first part, with Saskori being the sassy lampshader to Story's more whimsical manner.

I'm curious how Storyweaver knew Saskori's exact age. It does add to the mystery.
As for Monster Taming, I'd be interested to hear more about this, and possibly her opinions of certain monster hunters from a spooky food eating contest.

At first I was a little surprised that Story's voice was not described, since it takes a particular voice to tell stories, but since her personality is self-effacing, it is fitting that she stays in the background of her stories.

That tree has personality. At first I was mostly expecting it to act as a convenient safe location for Story and Saskori to talk without having to worry about Saskori's family and why they're letting a kid roam around the woods, but then it seemed to grow into its own character. (Commenting on its depiction in the next parts too.) I like how it seems to have its own language, made of storybookish sayings. If there was another kid wandering the woods and focused on speaking to the trees, that could be spin-off material.

More to come but I am dropping this now to make sure I continue because I started this too long ago. >.>

Thank you so much for your reviews! They mean a lot to me.

SPOILER: Click to show

Yeah, the tree has a personality, he's a pretty fun character. The trees in the forest in general like Saskori a lot, and they look after her as well as trees can. Part of the reason I drew so many trees this October was so I could hopefully draw her treehouse tree.

Like many of my characters, Saskori just sort of exists, parents aren't really an issue, though they should be probably. Luckily it's sort of a nonissue here. Because while Storyweaver does have a backstory, right now Saskori doesn't.

I think Saskori admires Corbin and Kell, because even though they call themselves monster hunters, they don't really hunt monsters so much as help them and stuff. I got the concept of Monster Tamer from a graphic novel called "Cat's Cradle: The Golden Twine" by Jo Rioux, which stars a young aspiring Monster Tamer named Suri who just sort of exists without much of a backstory too (This is her here: www.jorioux.com/catscradle/pages/golden_twine_cover.html )

Saskori is also inspired by Saskia, who's one of my favorite Neopets characters. With bits of lore from Monster Hunters in Neopets lore, like the Corbin and Kell, and the Ghoul Catchers.

It's interesting how you note Story's voice, or rather, lack of description of one. Probably shouldn't admit this, but I'm actually pretty bad at voices, like, describing them, making them distinct from each other, even that game where you pick out actors to voice your characters, I can't play. So it never even occurred to me that only certain types of voices are good for storytelling. Because I don't particularly have a voice for any of my characters, except maybe Storm, because she has a Meridellian accent.

Now I'm curious. How would you describe a voice that's good for storytelling?

Storyweaver's kind of an interesting character. She knows things she shouldn't, or maybe it's that happen to her, but either way, she walks into a lot of stories at exactly the right moment. Also the way she's totally unconcerned for herself, she sees herself as just a facilitator for the stories she tells.