The Elivier Collabfics Thread

[Elcie]

Because it needed a whole thread.

(Seriously. you haven't seen our fic idea documents. >_>)

Elcie and Gelquie will be using this thread to store all of our collaborative Elivier fics. That is, all of our fics relating to Medieval that have something to do with Elin and Xavier. Some stories will be canon, but may jump around the timeline. We may also throw in some AU stories. We'll try to put these into sections once we have enough stories here. For each section, when applicable, we'll try to put the stories in chronological order.

[As a warning: These stories will contain UNMARKED SPOILERS for the Medieval roleplay.]

Without further ado, we'll start this off with our first story (title TBD)!


Canon Timeline Stories

First Impressions

SPOILER: Click to show

The kitchen was spotless, but Xavier was cleaning it anyway. It was mostly nerves. Already he'd been working for the innkeeper Ilsa Wright an entire week, and she hadn't found much fault with his work. He was scared stiff of messing it up and giving her a reason to kick him out. Fortunately he was good at finding tasks to occupy himself; Lord Duval had not tolerated idleness. He doubted Mistress Wright would either.

Today was a little different. Mistress Wright had told him that she was expecting a delivery from the local butcher, and had entrusted him with a pouch of money so he could receive and pay for it in her place. It was all Xavier could do not to gape openly at this gesture of trust. At Duval's manor, slaves had occasionally been trusted with small amounts of money to run errands for the lord in town, but only the most obedient and well-trained. Mistress Wright had only known him a week. It made sense that Kythian servants would be given more freedom than a Courdonian slave, but it still staggered him a little.

So if his cleaning was a little extra frenzied today, perhaps it was his worry over the impending arrival of the butcher's girl. He had to get this right, had to show Mistress Wright that he could be trusted with such important tasks - not to mention her precious funds. It was already clear to him that the innkeeper was a woman who cared much for money, and doing something to damage her income would be the fastest way to lose his position.

Elin was pushing a cart down the street as she made her way to the King's Arms Inn. It was about time for another delivery to Ilsa's inn, and as usual, her aunt was quick to send her. The trip to Ilsa's was usually one of the easier jobs involved in being a butcher, and Clare figured it'd be good experience for her niece. Elin didn't mind too much. Going to the inn gave her the opportunity to hear from more people, either along the way or in the inn if it had customers. Plus, it was getting chillier, and she was sure it would snow in the next few weeks. The opportunity to get indoors and warm up her hands after hours of careful skinning was welcome.

There was one aspect of the job that she didn't like, though. Her aunt's instructions echoed in her head: ”Be sure it's the right amount when you get it. Just take your time counting it; there's no rush.” It wasn't her first reminder. Elin could manage to count the money if she was careful, but she was never great at numbers. At least she didn't need to count too much; Ilsa's deliveries were never very big. Ilsa's cooking just wasn't good enough to draw in the crowd needed for bigger deliveries, and thus bring the Ryers more income for the meat, which they could use in the winter... Elin sighed. Oh well. At least these jobs got them something.

Eventually, Elin arrived at the backdoor of the King's Arms Inn, and as per usual, she rapped her fist on the door.

“Ilsa! Got your delivery here!”

Xavier couldn't help but jump at the sharp sound of a knock at the door. Then a girl's voice called out, and his tension eased slightly. Right. The delivery.

Setting aside the rag he was cleaning with, Xavier hurried to the door and opened it. He had a brief impression of dark skin and long black hair before he lowered his gaze respectfully. The girl was one of the innkeeper's business partners, or at least represented them; he had to make a good impression and not offend her.

"Mistress Wright left me to take the delivery, miss," he explained. "Please, come in." He stepped back to allow her entry, briefly raising his eyes to meet hers before looking away again, self-conscious. Though his tone was neutral and polite, his shoulders were tense with nervousness. She was the first person he'd spoken to in this town aside from Mistress Wright, and his anxiety over doing his job well was suddenly coupled with the usual fear over meeting a stranger. I'm as safe here as I'll be anywhere in Kyth, he reminded himself silently, but it didn't help much.

Elin blinked as she caught the sight of a red-headed boy opening the door for her. He was small and scrawny, looking to be only a few years older than her, but he lowered his gaze before she could get a good look at his face. He let her in with all the tones of politeness that she never ever thought would be directed towards her, to say nothing of the title he gave to Ilsa. Though briefly startled by the formality, Elin gladly stepped inside.

"Thanks; it's a little chilly out there," she commented, pressing her hands together to warm them from the chill. Once she was inside, she turned to face the boy, who still averted his gaze, looking shrunken and uncomfortable. Must not be very good with people, Elin thought.

"Guess Ilsa hired you recently; I haven't seen you around before," Elin commented. She gave her hands one more squeeze, trying to make sure they were warm enough before extending her hand. "I'm Elin Ryer. What's your name?"

Xavier flinched back when Elin stuck out her hand, shying away from her instinctively. But she didn't make any move to strike him, or to move closer at all, and her tone was friendly enough. Xavier lifted his head to look at her timidly, almost forcing himself to meet her eyes. She didn't seem aggressive. All the same, Xavier found himself folding his arms around himself defensively rather than returning the handshake. Daring to actually touch her, a free-born Kythian, felt somehow presumptive. Instead he inclined his head formally, the same sort of respect he'd have shown to a merchant in Courdon. That was probably excessive when speaking to a peasant, but better safe than sorry.

"My name is Xavier Lynn," he said. "I've... I've just started, yes, Mistress Wright was kind enough to allow me a job and a place to sleep at her inn."

Elin looked perplexed as Xavier flinched away from her, then refused to shake her hand, instead giving her a bow of his head. Another instance of his strange formality... But surely even really formal people understood a handshake? Whatever the reason, it didn't seem to be from any lack of respect; he still greeted her and was polite to her. She awkwardly brought her hand back.

"It's good to meet you, Xavier," she said. She pondered what he said. A place to sleep... He said that as if he didn't have one before. And come to think of it, he had an accent that she couldn't place. Was he new in town?

"Sounds like good timing, with the chill coming in. Especially if you didn't have a place before...” She looked sympathetic as she said this before continuing. “How do you like it so far?"

"I-it's..." Xavier's lips curled into a small, shy smile. Daringly, his eyes darted up to meet her eyes. "It's good. I have a room of my own, and Mistress Wright gives me enough to eat. I- I think she is pleased with my work so far..." An edge of nervousness crept into his voice at that last statement. His work was good so far, but... he'd only been here a week. What would she do to him if he made a mistake? Probably not beat him the way a Courdonian slaveowner would, but she could cut his rations... or turn him out. And then he'd be on his own again.

He was surprised Elin was speaking to him at all, beyond what was strictly necessary to complete their transaction. Here in Kyth he was a peasant, same as she was, but he was still only the innkeeper's servant and he hadn't expected anyone to make conversation with someone of such low status. Then again, she did do business with Mistress Wright, and the innkeeper continued to surprise him with her friendliness. Or maybe this was just what Kythians were like?

It didn't make it any easier to continue meeting her eyes, though. Xavier hurried over to the table where he'd left the money pouch so he wouldn't have to try. "Oh, and I have your payment here, Miss Ryer," he said quickly, his shoulders hunching defensively. "S-sorry. I should have had it for you sooner."

Elin laughed a little as she took the money pouch. "It's fine; I forgot too. Thanks. And just 'Elin' is fine." She weighed the pouch in her hand before opening it and starting to count through the coins inside.

"I'd be really surprised if anyone wasn't pleased, at least with the kitchen; I've never seen it this clean before. _{Three, four...}" She gave him a smile but continued to count. "Anyway, I'm glad you like it. And I think Ilsa appreciates the help. She could use it sometimes, even if she doesn't get a lot customers here for food. _Six..."

Elin spent a little while longer counting before finally finished, pausing when she did.

"...Hm, hold on, let me count them again."

Xavier watched her nervously as she started to count the coins. He hadn't touched them, hadn't even opened the pouch since it was given to him, but still he worried that something would go wrong and he would get in trouble. Still, he managed a small, wary smile at her compliment of his work. At the mention of his employer's food, he blinked.

"That's odd," he said quietly. "I mean, it's- it tastes good to me, anyway..." He was more concerned with the amount of food than how it tasted, but Mistress Wright's food tasted better than anything he'd ever had before. Granted, it wasn't as if he had much to compare to. Even when he'd briefly worked in Duval's kitchens, he hadn't dared sneak tastes of the lord's food for himself.

Xavier was distracted from his thoughts about food, however, when Elin decided to count the money again. Oh no. He tensed. "I-is there - um--" Nervously he swallowed. "I've... I haven't touched it, I swear, that's exactly what Mistress Wright gave me."

His posture had gradually straightened and become more comfortable as he talked with Elin, but now he found himself hunching over again, almost cringing back and automatically lowering his head in deference. It didn't matter whether he'd actually done anything, because he knew he hadn't - if Elin believed he had, then Mistress Wright would no doubt take her word over his, and he would find out the hard way how Kythians preferred to punish their servants.

As Elin began to recount, she glanced up and noticed Xavier's posture. He seemed even more nervous now than he was just a moment ago. He seemed sincere, and most thieves were more likely to deny anything being missing... But she didn't know him well enough to know for sure; he could be an excellent actor. And besides, she could still have made a mistake. She silently returned to counting the coins.

Eventually, she shook her head. "Maybe, but it's still missing a coin. Could you get Ilsa in here?"

"I--" For a moment Xavier froze, his mind wiped blank by panic. Then instinct and training kicked in, and he hurried to bow low. "Yes, miss," he managed, his voice shaking. "At once."

He hurried upstairs, where Ilsa was arranging the furniture in one of the larger rooms. She spotted him before he could speak, and gave her usual friendly smile. "Xavier! That was fast. Did Elin already make the delivery?"

"Sh-she--" Xavier swallowed hard. Reflexively he clasped his hands behind his back and looked down at the floor. "She... w-wants to see you, Mistress."

Ilsa frowned slightly. The way he said that last word had a certain... edge, an undertone she hadn't quite heard in his voice before. He was clearly terrified. Inwardly, she sighed. She'd known the boy was skittish, and was learning to work with that, but... for 'Woo's sake, of all people to be frightened of, Elin? What could she possibly have done?

"All right, I'll go talk to her," Ilsa said, and followed him downstairs to the kitchen. "Good to see you, Elin," she said, trying keep her tone light despite Xavier's inexplicable tension. He hovered somewhere behind her right shoulder, gaze downcast. "Xavier said you wanted to talk to me?"

Elin was perplexed by Xavier's behavior as he walked off to fetch Ilsa. In spite of his terror, he didn't seem to hesitate much in getting Ilsa, nor did she hear any rushed footsteps out the door when he was out of sight. It all but quenched Elin's suspicions that he could be a thief. Although everything she did was in line with her job, she still felt some remorse for scaring the boy.

Eventually, Ilsa and Xavier returned, and Elin looked up at Ilsa. "Ilsa, hi; good to see you too," she greeted her. "Yes, I did. The payment's a coin short. I think you might've miscounted it."

"I see." With another quizzical glance over her shoulder at Xavier, Ilsa took the coins and spread them out on the counter, counting where Elin could see them. "No... no, this is the amount I agreed on with Clare. See?" She smiled at Elin, sweeping the coins back into her hand and handing them back. "You're still learning your numbers, aren't you? Don't worry, it'll come. Your aunt's a good merchant, I'm sure she's teaching you well."

Xavier stared at them, the tension in his body only barely beginning to ease. He didn't dare move or speak. Neither of them seemed to assume he had anything to do with it. He'd been so sure that Ilsa would take Elin's word over his - except Elin hadn't blamed him, had she?

If a merchant had miscounted the coins when Xavier was sent to make a purchase for Lord Duval... it would never have ended like this.

Ilsa turned and gave him an affectionate but puzzled smile. "It's all right, you know. No harm done, you're doing quite well."

"...Oh." Elin rubbed her arm, feeling a little embarrassed. Probably would help if I didn't count them in the bag, she thought to herself. "I see it now. I'm still a little slow at it, but she's trying. Thanks Ilsa."

"Don't worry about it," Ilsa said cheerfully. "I'm going to get back upstairs, I'll check in on you two later." With a little wave, she vanished out the door again.

Elin glanced over to Xavier, seeing him standing frozen to the spot. She bit her lip. Making the mistake wouldn't have been so bad if it didn't scare the new boy so much, and for something that ended up being her fault anyway. He must've been scared that she might've cost him his job, and with winter coming, and having to go out on the street again, Elin couldn't say she blamed him. She highly doubted that he was stealing from Ilsa in the first place anyway, given his demeanor... But it didn't change how she handled the situation. She sighed as she faced him.

"Sorry Xavier," Elin said, depositing the coins back in the bag. "I should've told you more about why I was asking for her. This happens sometimes."

"I..." Xavier blinked and swallowed, his mouth dry. Forgetting for a moment to keep his gaze respectfully downcast, he stared at her. She was... apologizing? To him? If anything, it was Ilsa she'd inconvenienced. Quickly he shook his head. "Y-you don't have to apologize to me, Miss Elin," he said, sounding surprised. All the same, his face brightened, giving her a smile that was still small, but entirely genuine. "Thank you," he added softly. He wasn't entirely sure himself what he was thanking her for... maybe the apology. Maybe for not blaming her mistake on him.

Or maybe it was just for being kind.

"Of course," Elin said. "And I feel like I should; it was my mistake." She returned the smile with one of her own, glad that he seemed to have forgiven her. He was still shy, as evidenced by how he stumbled through the response, but at least at that moment, he seemed more at ease.

After a moment, Elin seemed to realize something, and she tied the pouch of coins to her belt before turning towards the door. "I'll go bring the meat in," she told Xavier. She walked to the cart just outside and picked up one of the stacks she prepared.

After a moment's hesitation, Xavier hurried after her. "I- I can help," he said, adding quickly, "If you'd allow me to."

Elin blinked at first at the offer, but she wasn't too surprised by the action, given what she knew of Xavier's demeanor so far. Plus, Ilsa had sometimes helped her with the task in the past, even if there wasn't too much meat to bring in. Elin nodded at Xavier. "Sure, go ahead. Thanks," she said.

He bent to pick up a stack himself; it was heavy, but Xavier was stronger than he looked. Meekly he followed Elin inside and started putting it in the kitchen.

Elin watched Xavier move to pick up a particularly heavy stack of meat, and she opened her mouth to let out a warning before she saw him lift it without too much trouble. This surprised Elin slightly; she thought he might have had trouble with his thin frame, but he seemed to be managing it alright. She closed her mouth and nodded once at the table before heading to it, setting down her first stack of meat.

"I don't think I've seen you around before, Xavier," Elin said as she returned to the cart for more meat. "How long have you been in Medieville?"

"Only, um, a couple of weeks," Xavier said. Talking to Elin was starting to feel a little easier, and working alongside her seemed to help. It at least gave him something to do with his hands. Still, she hoped he didn't ask much about where he'd come from. To anyone who knew the sound of a Courdonian accent, it would be impossible to fully hide his heritage, but the truth was too dangerous to explain. "When Mistress Wright hired me I was just... I didn't expect to stay for long."

"You weren't?" Elin asked. She bit her lip in thought. It only confirmed to her that for some reason or another, he had nowhere else to go. She wasn't sure if she should pry, in case it would dredge up any bad memories, ones that he wasn't likely to share with a stranger anyway. But with his unusual accent, she couldn't help but be curious. "You don't have to answer this, but where are you from?"

Xavier couldn't help but tense at the question, though automatically he continued his work. "I- I'm... from the south," he said in almost a whisper, averting his eyes. His accent sounded nothing like a Corvid one, but if Elin really didn't know the sound of a Courdonian accent, it was probably safest to keep things vague.

"The south," Elin repeated to herself, as if to make sure she heard it. It wasn't really enough to answer her question; she was only vaguely familiar with what was south, and she couldn't quite place his accent. She wasn't sure if it sounded Corvid though; she hadn't met too many Corvids, but at the same time, it didn't seem to match. She didn't know enough about other accents to south to place where else he could be, such as Elacs, or even all the way down to Courdon. But she frowned at his behavior. It seemed he didn't want to answer after all, as curious as she was.

"I thought you were from out of town; you've got a bit of an accent I don't recognize," Elin commented, moving to grab the last stack of meat from the cart. "But then I've never been far south. I'm from the west, in Kine."

Slowly, Xavier relaxed as he realized that she wasn't going to press him further. He set down the stack he'd been carrying and stood aside to let Elin drop her own load. "I've never been to Kine," he said, and unable to keep a hint of curiosity from creeping into his voice. "What... what's it like there?"

Elin paused at the question as she set down her meat. "It's... Not very exciting, honestly," she said, deciding to keep it simple. "It's dry and flat... Really dry... And not always an easy place to live..." She shook her head as she grabbed a rag from her belt and dabbed her hands with it. "But it's open, and it's quiet, at least where I lived, and most of where I traveled. In that way, it was nice..." She trailed off, and for a moment, she seemed distracted. But she realized it a moment later, and she shook the thought out of her head. "That's the last of the meat," she said, saying it only to distract from her earlier pause in conversation.

Xavier listened, wondering what was behind her silence, but he didn't pry. It wasn't his place, and gods knew he had enough secrets that he'd let someone else keep theirs. When she spoke again, he seemed startled, and looked at the meat they'd stacked in the kitchen. "O-oh. I guess it is," he said awkwardly. Suddenly he dared to look up at her again, unconsciously hunching his shoulders a little so he was not quite on her eye level. "Will you... um, do you bring the meat here a lot?" he said hesitantly.

Elin turned towards Xavier, happy for the change in topic, but she still noticed the way he tip-toed towards asking her, as if he were posing the question to the King himself.

"About once a week," Elin answered, keeping her tone friendly in an attempt to encourage Xavier. "...Sometimes a little longer than that. My aunt and I sometimes come here between deliveries, though."

Xavier found himself smiling at her again; a very small, tentative smile, but one that brightened his eyes. "Then... then I'll see you again." As an afterthought he gave her another quick bow, ducking his head, worried that his last statements had been too familiar. "...Miss Elin."

Xavier's behavior still completely baffled Elin, but all the same, there was nothing insincere about his gestures. She couldn't help but smile in response. "We will," she said. She took another look around the impeccably clean kitchen and gave an approving look to Xavier. "I've no doubts about that."

She pressed her hands together again, ensuring that they would be warm before leaving. Sometimes, she would stay longer at the inn if she wanted to talk or if something interesting was going on, and this qualified for both... But at the same time, this was one of those days where she had to be back soon. The Ryers had fallen behind in their work, and Elin falling ill earlier in the week didn't help matters. It was a busy week, and she had to get back to it.

Thus, she headed for the door. "I should get back though; we've got some work to finish." At the foot of the exit, she gave a friendly wave. "See you around."

"See you," Xavier echoed, and watched her leave, his eyes glued to her until she closed the door behind her.

A couple of minutes later, Ilsa poked her head into the kitchen to check on them, and found Elin already gone. "Everything go okay?" she asked Xavier.

Xavier nodded vigorously, averting his eyes. "Yes, she- she was very kind. I'm glad she wasn't angry about the coins." Timidly he looked up at Ilsa, clasping his hands in front of him. "She said she comes here often to do that - bringing the meat - so next time, when she does... can I meet her again? To help out?"

Ilsa laughed. "Of course you can. I'm glad you two got along, it'd be good for you to have more friends in town." She waved. "Well, I'm going to head back up front, some customers are starting to come in. I'll check in later."

Xavier hurriedly bowed as she left, then stood there in the middle of the kitchen as he processed what she'd said. Friends. Could he and Elin really be friends...? She'd been kind to him, but the idea that she actually liked him or might want to be around him - that seemed too much to hope for.

But she'd be coming again. And he'd see her again, and they could talk together again, and maybe, just maybe, there was a chance that Ilsa was right in what she said. He found himself starting to smile, and for quite a while as he went about his work in the inn, he didn't stop.

Untitled

SPOILER: Click to show

The day after the coronation, Xavier found himself walking the familiar streets between the King’s Arms and the Ryers' home. He’d stayed at the inn last night talking to Ilsa for so long that he’d wound up sleeping there, and now after two weeks of strangeness and upheaval in his life he was once again walking a route that was so familiar he felt he could have done it blindfolded. It was… strange, very strange. Was it really only two weeks ago that this had been part of his daily life? It felt more like a lifetime ago.

Two weeks ago, he would’ve been going on business, bringing payment or a new order from Ilsa to Clare. He’d look forward to seeing Elin when he got there, and talking with her if he got the chance, but that had never been the primary reason for his visits, even if it had been the main reason he looked forward to them. Now, she was about all he could think about. He needed to make sure she was all right, after her collapse that had scared him so badly the previous day. The healer had said she would be fine, but it sounded as if it could have gone very badly for Elin if she had not received treatment. He hoped Clare was making sure she rested.

When he arrived, he stared at the door feeling suddenly, unaccountably nervous. Why was he nervous? He’d been here a thousand times for Ilsa, after all. Steeling himself, he knocked firmly on the door and waited.

There was a brief moment of quiet, only interrupted by the sound of footsteps on the floor. A moment later, the door opened. The figure of Clare Ryer appeared, and she looked at Xavier.

“Ah, good to see you again,” she said. “I'm going to assume you're not here on business. ...Well, come on in.”

She stood to the side to let Xavier enter. “I'm glad you came, actually. I never got the chance to thank you for helping Elin yesterday. So... thank you. She's doing better now.”

Xavier stepped inside. “I’m just glad she’s okay,” he said earnestly. Yesterday could well have ended much worse than it did… the memory of her lying there, unconscious and shaking, made him suppress a shudder. And she wasn’t the only one who could’ve died that day…

He shook those thoughts aside. They had survived it, and so had the other people he cared about, that was what mattered. “I- I wanted to see how she’s doing,” he said. “If she’s awake - I don’t want to disturb her if she’s resting…”

Clare waved a hand. “Don't worry; she's awake. Actually, you just missed breakfast. She's in her room over there, just down the hall.” She pointed to the room in question. “I know she wants to see you; don't be shy. ...Well, knock first; do still be shy about that.”

Xavier nodded, smiling at her. “Thank you, Madam Ryer.” He wondered if she knew about… well, them; probably, considering she was at the triage. But she didn’t seem disapproving, at least, so that was a good sign.

He walked over to Elin’s door and knocked twice, lightly. “Elin? It’s me.”

There was a brief pause, interrupted only by the sound of a book closing on the other side of the door.

“Xavier?” the voice called out, softly elated. “It is you. Come in.”

Xavier opened the door and slipped into the room. There was Elin sitting on the edge of the bad, facing the doorway with a little book seated next to her, the same one that had she had dropped yesterday. She smiled when she saw him, although there were lines in her face showing that while she seemed to be awake, she was still somewhat weary, although better. She was rubbing her arm slightly, but she quickly stopped doing that and held a hand out towards Xavier, waiting for him to close the door and come closer.

“I'm so glad to see you,” she said.

He couldn’t help smiling at the very sight of her. Drawing closer, he clasped her hand tightly. “Me too,” he said. “Uh, glad to see you, I mean. How are you feeling?” Already it set his heart at ease just to see her, hear her voice. She looked tired, but it seemed that the greatest danger had passed.

Elin gripped his hand tightly, although due to her fatigue and the strain in her muscles, her grasp was weaker than usual. “I'm doing better. Not great... But I'm alright. It's starting to feel a bit more like something else, something I can handle. I don't think I'll faint on you again anyway.”

She gestured to the empty space on the bed to her side that didn't have the book, indicating that he should sit down with her.

Xavier sat down, switching his grip so he could keep holding her hand. “I’m glad,” he said, and looked at the floor. “I - when you collapsed like that, I panicked, I thought… I don’t know what I thought.”

He looked over at her, meeting her eyes. “But you’re recovering. It really… worked, what she did.” There was a bit of a question in his voice. He hadn’t exactly doubted the healer, especially considering he’d seen Elin already starting to recover yesterday, but… magic… it was still somewhat hard to believe. He was relieved that it hadn’t been a spell, knowing what kind of magic the Courdonians used against their enemies, but this was more difficult to understand.

Elin frowned, sympathy lining her face. “I'm sorry for scaring you like that,” she said, bringing her other hand over so that they could both clasp Xavier's. “I... I didn't know what was happening, really. ...I still don't. It's a bit of a blur in places.”

She took a moment to glance down on the bracelet on her hand. She hadn't thought to ask what it did, though she wished she did. She'd thought about taking it off, but after the Healer's warning, she wasn't sure if she wanted to do that before she could find out what it did. Maybe Xavier knew, if he watched her...

“What did she do?” she asked, looking up from the bracelet and back into Xavier's eyes. “I kind of remember her talking about magic, but it didn't make sense...”

“I think… that was what was hurting you,” Xavier said. “At least, it’s why she gave you that.” He nodded at the bracelet on her wrist. “To suppress it. And I… I guess it worked, because you stopped shaking…” And just in time, judging from the healer’s haste in putting it on her, but he didn’t want to frighten her by saying so. After a moment he added, choosing his words carefully, “She… she said something about magic overuse.”

Elin must have had her reasons for keeping quiet about her powers, Xavier understood that very well. He didn’t want to intrude on her secret… but at this point, there was no way of hiding the fact that he knew. “Don’t worry, I haven’t told anyone,” he said quietly. “Not even your aunt… although Ilsa was there, I don’t know how much she heard.”

Elin listened carefully as Xavier spoke, but she only looked more confused when he mentioned the magic suppression, and she raised a worried eyebrow when he mentioned the shaking. Was... Was she really shaking? It must have been while she was out... Her eyes lingered to the bracelet again. It was so strange how one little thing could do so much...

She smiled gratefully when he assured her that he didn't tell anyone. It wasn't a huge secret, but it was still something she preferred not to mention too often. “Thank you,” she said. And she realized, if he knew about her magic... It'd be much easier to talk to him about these things. She was glad for this; there were enough secrets between them before. “I just... I still don't see how it's magic overuse. I really didn't cast anything that day.”

She paused. “I do have magic, but... Honestly, I'm not very good at it. I only found out that I was a mage about a week or so ago. I've tried casting things though, even from the spellbook we took. I haven't really been able to get anything to work, unless it was really small or if I remembered how someone else did it. All the others just went wrong somehow. It's not good enough. So I didn't try anything with it at the Coronation.”

She shook her head. There was a question that rattled through her brain, and though she didn't expect Xavier to be able to answer it, she asked it aloud, confusion in her voice. “How can I overuse my magic when I didn't use any magic?”

Xavier could only shake his head helplessly. “I… I don’t know.” She couldn’t have been using magic without being aware of it… could she? “I know it’s possible to use magic without… without wanting to,” he said carefully. “But you’d still know when it happened, wouldn’t you?” And it didn’t make sense that it would activate randomly, without some kind of outside trigger…

He sighed. No one had ever taught him about magic; everything he knew was what he’d picked up from his own observations and experiences, and many of these were more than likely specific to how things were done in Courdon. None of it was probably any use to Elin. If only he knew more… Then it hit him. “Leif. Leif Jade… he’s a powerful mage, and he knows a lot about magic. I wonder… He might know why this happened.”

Elin went silent in thought. She didn't expect Xavier's answer to be helpful coming from someone who didn't seem to know magic. But she hadn't considered being able to use magic without wanting to, but she didn't know how that would be possible. Wasn't use of magic deliberate? And even if it wasn't, it didn't make sense that she wouldn't be able to feel anything different. So what would cause it...?

His last reply made Elin pause, and she took one of her hands away to rub the back of her neck, her face mixed with uncertainty and worry. “...He might know, yes. But... He's still in House Jade, and I'm sure he still remembers me being imprisoned. And House Jade... I still don't know how they feel about Aldrich taking the throne, or if they're going to try anything... But even if they did accept that, would Leif even want to help me? Our factions were against each other not long ago.”

She frowned. “I don't know...”

Xavier winced inwardly. He could certainly understand why Elin would be reluctant to trust Leif; he had, after all, been involved when Lord Charles had interrogated her. Xavier himself had been disturbed by that. But… House Jade did seem willing to work with the Shadows moving forward. It was probably too early to say for sure what they would do, but Xavier was hopeful. They weren’t petty or cruel, like the nobility in Courdon. Not like he’d originally thought.

“I trust Leif,” Xavier said simply. “I don’t think he would refuse to help you just because you’re a Shadow. Especially now…” Surely Leif would understand, wouldn’t he, that some things were more important than the boundaries between factions? Xavier had not yet told him about his relationship with Elin, but he remembered seeing how Leif had looked at the Stallion nobleman sitting with him at the triage yesterday. Of course, the Stallion had not been a rebel and a fugitive before yesterday.

“I’m not saying you have to trust him too,” Xavier added quietly. “I can understand why you don’t. But… if nothing else, let me vouch for you. Or talk to him about what happened. I…” He swallowed, a worried look on his face. “What if it happens again? If you don’t know why it happened in the first place…”

Elin frowned as he spoke. She couldn't help but feel like it was slightly optimistic of Xavier that Leif wouldn't refuse help due to her Shadowhood. Then again, he trusted Leif, and to Leif's credit, he did help Xavier against Duval. And he didn't back down, even when Xavier's former slavehood was revealed to him. If he helped against him even then... But Xavier was a member of their House. Elin was not, and not even a noble. Would she get similar treatment?

But he seemed to understand her fears, and he offered to vouch for her to Leif. To House Jade, potentially... Her hand gently gripped Xavier's hand tighter at this, or at least as tight as it could be in her state. He was willing to do so much for her... He had always been kind, but the scene at the square, and now... It was something she had always liked and admired about him. But... It didn't mean that it was safe...

“I just... I know he's helped you... But I can't expect... I have to know what they think of me first.” And even then...

She saw the worried look on his face as he continued. She tried to think of something to reassure him, to ensure that she could be alright. But... It was true. She didn't know how it happened, or if it would happen again... And it'd be better for both their sakes if they found out. And yet... Going directly to Jade's doorstep for it? When they could hold a grudge against her still despite Aldrich taking the throne? And yet... Elin couldn't think of any other mage powerful or knowledgeable enough to answer this for her, even after all her time investigating others to see what they could do. The Healer didn't seem to know for sure, and the Shadows that did have magic had specific, applied magic. Leif was the only one who might know, short of her going out of town and finding someone else... At this thought, she looked up at Xavier's face again. No. She couldn't do that either. Not so soon anyway. Not when they could finally be together like this... And there was also her business with the Shadows. They were resting, but their work was not over. She couldn't leave Medieville, and if she wasn't leaving and no one else was qualified, that just left Leif...

Aldrich had encouraged building up trust between the factions, and tearing down the walls between them. But she knew it couldn't be so simple. Especially not with nobles. She knew that well.

Finally, after a long period of silence, she sighed and stared into Xavier's eyes, her face lined with worry as she spoke. “...I don't know what else to do... If... If you can vouch for me, if it's safe to do so... Then maybe it'd give me a chance to talk to him; to say something...”

In spite of her words, there was still trepidation in her voice as she envisioned herself returning to Jade Manor... openly. It was not something she could have even thought about before now.

Xavier squeezed her hand reassuringly. “Leif will hear you out, I know he will. And I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise. Even if it’s House Jade… you’re still…” He trailed off, realizing what he was promising. But… he was okay with that. Even if he was wrong, if House Jade was still going to consider her an enemy… he was not going to betray her again. Never.

He reached over and put his other hand over hers. “Let me help you, Elin,” he said softly. “I-it’s not much… I’m sure Leif would see you anyway, but… after what happened yesterday… I don’t want to just sit by and do nothing.” He gave her a small smile. “You don’t have to handle this by yourself. I’m not going anywhere.”

As Elin stared into Xavier's eyes, she could tell—from the look on his face, his voice, and the warmth emanating into her hand from his own—that he was sincere. That he really would help her through it, in spite of his noble affiliations. She expected as much, given all she knew about Xavier, but seeing it played in front of her, with him willing to risk himself to defend her... It simultaneously warmed her heart and made her more worried for what could happen to him. And if anything did happen to him...

...Well, if anything did happen to him, or threatened to, she would never let it happen. She may be weak now, and still feeling some pain... everywhere... enough that it was still a problem... but she was stronger than yesterday. At the very least, she'd do what she could... For now... If they could at least approach peacefully for a talk... And with Xavier with her, if he was safe... She had to admit that she didn't want to do this alone.

Unconsciously, she leaned closer. “...If... If you're sure you'll be safe too, then... Then you won't have to.” She gave a small nod to assure him.

“I’ll be fine,” Xavier said firmly. “They… I’m one of their own now, I think they’ll listen.” At the very least, Leif would, and that was what mattered. Leif was the one who, at least potentially, had the ability to help Elin. And if it came to convincing House Jade to work with the Shadows and accept the new king… Xavier was not so sure if Lord Everett would listen to him, but Leif was the Archmage, and that had to give his opinion more weight.

In any case, he’d worry about that later. Right now it was most important to get Elin the help she needed, and he was relieved that she seemed willing to consider talking to Leif. “It’ll be okay,” he said, giving her a reassuring smile that was far more sincere than the last times he’d told her that. For the first time, he really believed it. He found himself leaning in closer so their shoulders nearly touched, still holding her hand in both of his.

Elin looked for a moment into his smile. She was used to the past few days, with both of them assuring each other that things would be okay when they didn't know for sure whether that was the truth, and so she found herself looking for any trace of a comforting lie in his face. But the smile reached his eyes. He really meant it this time. He really did think it was going to be okay. Elin still had her reservations; she wasn't really sure how happy they would be to see her, and she knew how some nobles could be. But mostly... she just didn't want him to get into trouble with them. She was used to trouble from nobles; she just didn't want it to hurt him. But at the same time, he seemed so sure...

But she supposed that if nothing else... She could talk about the Shadows first. Really get Leif's stance on this, and an idea of Jade's stance too. And then if they really were going to accept the Shadows... Then perhaps things would be okay. Perhaps...

“I hope so...” she said. Once again, she found herself drawing closer and closer to Xavier. Feeling more lost in the moment, she allowed herself to lean even closer... Until she was jolted back into reality with a sudden loss of balance. She ended up falling forward into Xavier, her head ultimately resting on his shoulder. She paused for a moment before letting out a small laugh.

“Sorry,” she said, slowly bringing her free-if-sore arm up and around over Xavier's shoulder, both to draw him into a hug and to support herself. “I'm fine. I just may need a little help getting to the Manor.”

Xavier felt another sharp stab of worry as Elin lost her balance, reaching automatically to steady her, but then she laughed, and his tension eased. He put his arm around her, hugging her close, and let his head nestle against hers. Despite his worry he couldn’t help but smile slightly as he looked down at her; sitting like this, with their arms around each other and the weight of her head against his shoulder, felt so… comfortable.

“A-are you sure you’re up to it?” he said. “I could… I could see if he’d come here, so you could rest.” Much as he was currently reluctant to leave her side, even for a moment, he didn’t want her to overexert herself. But that was if she trusted Leif’s intentions enough to let him come here, and if Leif himself was willing…

At least he could offer. All he wanted right now was to take care of her, as much as she’d let him, and as much as he was capable of doing.

Elin returned the hug as best as she could, allowing herself to lean into Xavier for support, although the warmth that emanated from his body also drew her in.

“I can walk if I need to,” Elin explained, even if the idea of walking too much did not entice her. She knew she should rest, and that she wasn't in great condition. It didn't matter though; there was still so much to do, and she had already slept for too long. There'd be time to rest later.

“I don't know... But...” Elin paused, an idea forming in her brain. One that—at the very least—would be safer. “We could meet somewhere else. Away from the manor, but not here either. Some neutral ground. If he agrees to it.”

As she said it, a thought struck Xavier. “How about the King’s Arms? It’s not too far and we’ve all been there. And Ilsa knows Leif, too. I bet she’d let us use the back room so we could talk in private.” In a familiar location, with Ilsa nearby… Leif was unlikely to mind, and hopefully it would set Elin at ease.

Sure enough, it did. Elin considered the points he made, and she barely had to think about it. “That's a great idea,” she said, hugging him closer. “You'll have to talk to Leif first, though; see if he'll come. Tell him that I want to speak to him peacefully, to make things clear... And to ask him questions.”

“I will,” Xavier said. “And don’t worry. I think he wants a peaceful resolution to this as much as we do.” He shifted a bit to look down into her face, pulling back just enough to try to meet her eyes. “You’ll be okay if I go talk to him?” he said. He was sure she would be; Clare was taking care of her. But if she wasn’t ready for him to go… Xavier was more than willing to stay right here as long as she wanted him to.

Elin looked up enough so that their eyes locked. She knew he should go soon so that there would be time to figure out the logistics of the meeting, and so that they could know as soon as possible what things would be like between the Shadows and House Jade. At the same time... She wasn't sure if she wanted him to go yet. Not when he was so close to her...

“...I'll be okay,” Elin said quietly. But she found her hug around Xavier tightening, even with the soreness of her arms protesting against the action.

Xavier found himself smiling again as their eyes met, and hugged her more tightly in return. One of his hands curled over the back of her neck, his fingers twining loosely in her hair. Instead of pulling away he found himself leaning forward, letting his forehead touch hers.

It was admittedly easier to leave her side now that the worst of the uncertainty was over, now that he wouldn’t be left wondering when he would see her again, or if he ever would… but it wasn’t that much easier.

At last he made himself pull away, but not before giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. He looked into her eyes, aware by the heat in his face that his cheeks must be reddening. “I- I should go, then,” he stammered. “It… shouldn’t be long, I’ll be back soon.”

Elin let herself get lost in Xavier again as he hesitated to go, savoring the moment for as long as she could. Though she wanted him to stay in the embrace, she felt elated from the hug and the kiss even after he pulled away, and she smiled, for a moment forgetting the discomfort that came with her condition. The way they had planned it, didn't seem likely that Xavier would get into too much trouble for giving Leif that kind of message. But a part of her was still concerned about the Jades being suspicious about... Well, them. Especially if it turned out that the Jades were still against the Shadows after all... But Xavier had survived all that happened before. And he was strong. He'd find a way, just as they had done before. It didn't make the worry less present, but... at the very least, it was easier to put it aside for the moment.

“Alright,” she said, giving his shoulder one gentle if weaker squeeze. “Good luck. I'll be right here.”

He smiled at her, warmth in his eyes. “Get some rest. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

Xavier stood up slowly, shifting his grip to squeeze her hand before pulling away. Carefully he shut her door behind him and turned to leave. A slight smile lingered on his face, but the expression was dampened somewhat as he again remembered her collapse the day previously. She seemed better now, but… her weakened state left him nervous.

...No. He wasn’t going to let anything happen to her, whatever it took.

As Xavier made his way out, Clare was nearby, sitting on a table and looking at a ledger, though her unfocused eyes betrayed the fact that she wasn't paying attention. The sight of Xavier leaving made her look up.

“Heading off so soon?” Clare asked, a little bewildered that he didn't decide to stay longer. “Well, it was good seeing you again.”

Xavier was lost in his own thoughts to the point that her voice made him jump a little. Slightly embarrassed, he turned to her and gave a polite nod. “You too, Madam Ryer. I- I have business with House Jade,” he added, by way of explanation. “B-but thank you. I'll... be back later, I hope.”

He figured he had best not say much about their plan to meet with the Archmage, lest it raise too many questions. It was up to Elin, after all, to decide when to tell her aunt about everything that had happened.

Clare tilted her head as Xavier jumped, but she nodded. “Right, business. Well, thanks for visiting. I know Elin appreciates it; a little company always helps her for things like this. If you do come back today and I'm not home, go on in. Elin should still be here.”

Xavier nodded. “I will, then.” He smiled a little, his eyes softening. “I’m just… glad I can help her, even if it isn’t much… So if there’s anything else I can do…” He trailed off. If he was going to embrace his position in House Jade, he decided, he’d use his status as a member of a noble House to help the people he cared about - just as he’d done as a vigilante.

He shook his head, realizing he was getting distracted. “I should be going. Thanks for letting me see her.” With another small smile, he slipped out of the door.

Tense Inquiries
(Follows directly from the previous fic.
Collaborated with Tiger !)

SPOILER: Click to show

After speaking with Leif, Xavier returned to the Ryers’ house and told Elin that the Jade had agreed to speak with her. “He’s on his way to the King’s Arms now,” he said, and held out his hand to her. “Are you ready to go?”

Elin was lying on her bed when Xavier returned, and she looked at his outstretched hand. Carefully, she put her hand forward to take his and proceeded to try to get up. “I think so; I’ve thought about what I’m going to say,” she said. Slowly, she got to her feet, leaning on Xavier as she did so. When she finally managed to right herself, she gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Let’s get going.”

Xavier supported Elin as she got to her feet, putting a steadying hand on her shoulder once she was upright. He smiled at her, not entirely able to hide the lingering worry from his eyes. Elin gratefully accepted the steadying hand, but at the same time tried not to rely too much on it. She gave him a small smile back, though it wasn’t as strong as she wanted it to be.

“I’ll be fine,” she said, ignoring the ache in her body. “Just… Just as long as we take our time getting there.”

They made their way down to the inn, slowly due to Elin’s condition. Xavier stayed close, ready to support her if she looked like she needed it. For most of the way, Elin tried to walk on her own, but she occasionally found herself leaning onto Xavier until she was sure she could keep going. He’d grip her tightly when she did, until she no longer needed the support. Despite the slow progress he was glad to see she was able to make the trip, and showed no signs of collapsing the way she had yesterday.

Finally though, they found themselves at the front doors of the inn. Xavier swung open the door without knocking. “Ilsa? We’re here to talk with Leif...”

The innkeeper was there in the dining room. She turned around to face them, greeting them with a smile. “Hello, you two. Yes, he’s already here. Upstairs, on the left.”

Elin looked at Ilsa, attempting to smile in spite of the apprehensive but determined look in her eyes as she weakly stepped into the inn. “Thanks, Ilsa.” With that, she began to make her way towards the stairs, going slowly and keeping one hand on the wall to keep her balance as she went up. As they walked up the stairs, she gave Xavier a grateful smile. She was certain she could’ve gotten here without his help, but he certainly made the journey easier. And she was very glad to have him here with her. It made her feel a bit better about all of this.

Leif was exhausted. He sat slumped against the table Ilsa had helped him move into the room they were borrowing. The bed looked enormously inviting, but Leif didn’t trust himself to so much as sit on its edge. If the request for a meeting hadn’t been from Xavier, and the younger Jade hadn’t said it was important, Leif would still have been dead-asleep in his room at Marson Manor, trying to recover from the pull.

But it had been Xavier’s request, so here Leif was, waiting and occasionally taking a piece of ginger candy or one of the sugary treats he’d bought a plate of from Ilsa. The sugar might be helping the pull in some way, or so Leif had to believe, but it wasn’t doing much for his physical energy. To keep himself awake in the lulling quiet of the empty room, he tried to guess what Elin Ryer would want from him. Xavier had only said she wanted to talk - but about what? Leif didn’t think it could be Shadow business, since that would have to go through Everett...though, who knew, maybe they wanted Leif to speak on the Shadows’ behalf. If that was the case, clearly they had no idea who they were asking to be their spokesman.

But what else would Elin want? To chew Leif out for casting a truth spell on her? Surely there were more important things to do right now, after everything that had happened yesterday… Leif rubbed gingerly at his arm; the gryphon slashes had been tended to with a touch of healing magic this morning, but they were going to need more attention to stop hurting, let alone to fade without scars.

As the last bit of a ginger candy dissolved on Leif’s tongue, he heard familiar voices from the direction of the dining room. Leif looked toward the doorway and sat up a little straighter as Xavier and Elin entered the room. Elin, to Leif’s surprise, looked about as tired as the archmage felt. Maybe this wasn’t meant to be a rant, after all.

Elin tried her best to not lean against the doorway any more than she already did. Now that she was in the presence of Leif, she couldn’t afford to show as much weakness as she felt, in case the mage decided to use it as an opportunity. As she studied him though, she noticed a tired look on his face, and he didn’t seem ready to try anything either. Elin felt relieved at this; the conversation would remain as verbal as she hoped.

She made her way forward slowly but deliberately to the table, and she grabbed the back of the chair before moving to sit down in it. She intended to take her seat slowly, but exhaustion got the better of her and she ended up slumping into the chair unceremoniously. As soon as she could, she straightened herself up, pretending she had intended to take her seat like that, as if it was nothing. Just act like you’re okay, Elin, she thought to herself, even though she was sure that Leif would not be convinced at this point.

“Leif Jade,” she started. She knew his name, and they had seen each other before, although they have never had a proper introduction. But with so many things uncertain between them and with her already apprehensive about how this conversation would go, Elin decided to forego an introduction in favor getting straight to the point. “I’m here with some questions, although there’s something else I want to clear up first. Although I don’t know how much Xavier already told you.”

Xavier gave Leif a small smile as he walked into the room. Given how obviously tired the archmage was after yesterday, he was glad that he’d agreed to meet with Elin anyway. Quietly he took a seat, close beside Elin so he’d be there if she needed anything. Given her history with House Jade, he didn’t blame her for being wary.

“Miss Ryer,” Leif returned, noticing how cautiously the girl watched him. And maybe that made some sense, considering the clashing of their factions, but Leif found it annoying nonetheless. The Shadows had been the ones sneaking around and prodding at the noble families, breaking into multiple manors, and destroying old heirlooms. Which, Leif realized, he still didn’t understand the reason for - what did having a legitimate heir to the throne have to do with smashing gauntlets and rings, exactly?

He shook his head a little to clear it, and returned to the conversation at hand. “Xavier’s told me nothing, Miss Ryer, just that you wanted to talk. So by all means…” He waved a hand vaguely. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Elin paused for a moment as she tried to put the words she wanted to say to the forefront of her mind. She wondered if Xavier would have mentioned more to Leif, although a part of her was glad he didn’t; it made it easier to explain things this way. At the same time, it made her wonder why Leif would come without an explicit reason to talk. Then again, maybe he suspected that part of the reason he agreed had to do with their factions. With the power they had in each of their factions, it would only make sense.

As much as she wanted to, she resisted the urge to look over in Xavier’s direction. With a powerful member of a rival faction sitting across from her, the last thing she needed was for him to suspect what was going on between her and Xavier. If things weren’t alright between the factions after all, and he found out… Elin tried not to think about it, and instead tried to focus on what she needed to say.

“First, we need to clear things up between our factions,” she said. “You’ve probably heard already that Aldrich--well, Galateo--is going to take the throne now. He’s the Heir I mentioned back when I was being interrogated. He’s a good man; I’m certain he’ll make a good king. And I want to make sure he’s safe. But I don’t know what your faction is thinking of this. Are the Jades going to accept him as King? What will they do?”

Elin didn’t expect a thorough answer to the last question; she wouldn’t expect that Leif would trust her with those kind of details. But a basic one that would state Jade’s stance, and something to show whether or not he’d lie and if she should trust Leif… It would be enough for now.

“I haven’t heard much of my House’s opinion on the subject yet,” Leif admitted, “but I think if Lord Everett wanted to protest it, he would have done so yesterday. And we can’t exactly complain about a mage on the throne; that will soothe the worries we had about a Stallion ascension and what that might mean magic-wise.”

Tracing some of the table’s wood grain with a finger, Leif went on, “I’d actually met...King Galateo before the coronation. He seemed a decent man. Though who knows - I certainly didn’t peg him as a man who’d be leading a group of rebels, or ordering them to spy on and steal from us.”

He looked up at Elin. “Your thief took our Archmage’s spellbook - do you have any idea what kind of spells were in there? How dangerous those could be?”

Not to mention how much danger you put yourselves in when you took it. The fear that the Shadows might find a way to use the Killing Curse had been at the head of every discussion and the motivation behind all sorts of terrible plans…

Leif sighed, scowling down at his hands. “I don’t know. Personally, I’m tired of fighting. If Galateo’s the same man I think I met, and what happened over the past two weeks was desperation, not malice...I don’t see any need to fight him over the throne. But, again, I can’t speak for the whole House. Just my opinion.”

Elin didn’t expect Leif to have already met Aldrich; the latter had never mentioned anything like that at the meetings. Then again, perhaps them meeting each other wasn’t important enough at the time. There were certainly too many other things going on. Besides, it’s not like she didn’t have meetings with certain nobles that she never mentioned to the other Shadows.

But she frowned as Leif continued, noting how he spoke of the rebel label as if it were a bad thing. In front of a rebel too, no less. Not that she expected anything different, but it still bothered her immensely.

“It’s not malice; it’s making sure things finally go right,” she said. “That’s all it ever was. As for Aldrich, he wasn’t the only one giving orders. There’s no single leader in the Shadows. We didn’t even find Aldrich till later. But with some work, he grew into being one of the leaders quickly. And he’s not just that. He’s a decent person, in the Shadows and in life. I don’t think it’ll be different when he’s king.”

She sighed. “And I don’t think he wants to fight either. Not from what I know of him, and what he said at the coronation.” Elin wished she could’ve remembered more of it, but his speech happened right when she was starting to lose consciousness, and she could only remember bits and pieces. But she was certain of that part. “Maybe you can’t speak for the whole house, but I know you have power; you can help with convincing them if you really feel that way.”

“As for the spellbook…” Elin had a firm look on her face at this, though it was weakened by her fatigue. She never had a doubt in her mind about this course of action. “Do you know how dangerous it would’ve been for us to have been on the other side of one of those spells, from a powerful mage? We couldn’t risk that. We told you as much in the letter.” She frowned, feeling a bit more on edge. “We couldn’t figure out everything, but I’ve got some ideas about what’s in there, or at least some of the effects.”

Leif tensed, not liking the idea of Elin going through the spells. “Yes, I do know how dangerous it would have been. I’ve been talking them out of using them since I found them, not to mention that trying to cast them yourselves would probably...“ Leif caught his slip almost a whole sentence too late and bit his tongue.

But what did it matter? The Shadows had snatched the book out of his room, and unless their thief somehow hadn’t seen Ayleth, there was no way they had confused it for anyone else’s living space. Leif had assumed the Shadows knew he was an archmage for a while, but, tired as he was, he had just fallen back on old habits. ...Mostly.

“I’d been talking them out of using the more dangerous spells,” he grumbled after a moment, rubbing at his eyes. “But as soon as you stole it, everyone was afraid you meant to use that magic on us. And since we didn’t have the spells at the ready, well, that just opened up discussion on ways they could retaliate without my help.”

Opening his eyes again and looking resignedly at Elin, Leif admitted, “Not that you would’ve known that...or maybe you did - you knew to steal the spellbook, where it was kept, and judging by your note, you knew what was in it. I don’t suppose you’ll be sharing how you found all that out.” Knowing Marson Manor and its outstanding number of security breaches, there were probably all sorts of structural and magical weaknesses that would have allowed the Shadows to spy on Jade strategy discussions.

Elin didn’t expect Leif to admit to being the Archmage so soon, but it didn’t matter; with the topics that she planned on bringing up, it was bound to come up sooner or later. Still, she was reluctant to let Leif know that the Shadows knew about him being the Archmage, but at the same time, she had to admit that it made it easier to talk without needing to dodge that detail.

And she supposed that if he was honest about not wanting to fight anymore, it didn’t matter anymore. She hoped anyway… Though she felt slightly assuaged when Leif mentioned arguing against using the more deadly spells, she didn’t know him well enough to fully believe him. Even if he didn’t want to fight now, how could she know what he was thinking then?

And then he put her on the spot again. She tried to straighten up further, ignoring the pain in her side that twinged as she did so.

“You’re right; I won’t share that. But I may as well say we’ve known who you were for a while, and we found out how important the book was,” Elin said, glossing over the details of how she found out. Better that House Jade didn’t know that she was the spy, who spotted him using more powerful magics in the first place. In any case, he didn’t need to know. “We didn’t know for sure exactly what you could do, but it’s obvious you’re powerful. Powerful enough to…” she trailed off, and paused a moment before continuing.

“Yes, we couldn’t have known about what your House was thinking all the time,” she admitted. “All the more reason why we took the book. Not just to learn what was inside, but also to make sure we were safe from at least that.”

Xavier found himself starting to get tense. This was not how he’d hoped this conversation would go. Leif had a point about the Shadows’ actions, but he couldn’t blame them for being scared of retaliation. The thought that Leif could have cast such dangerous spells against the Shadows gave Xavier a chill… and House Jade, apparently, had considered using them. At least Leif himself had been opposed to it. For that, he was glad.

Of course, Leif was not exactly what Xavier had expected of an archmage from a powerful magical House. If he’d been anyone else, someone not as principled or not as kind… Xavier reached out and put a hand lightly on Elin’s arm, giving a quick reassuring squeeze before glancing back across the table at the other Jade.

“Leif, I know… I know what magic can do to people,” Xavier said, his voice tight. “If House Jade was really considering… using those kinds of spells…” He swallowed. “I know you would never do something like that. B-but they didn't. They were scared. And… and so were we.” He’d been terrified that the Shadows would do something drastic and hurt Leif or Ambrose. Elin, and the rest of the Shadows, had been afraid of House Jade’s retribution. Even Lord Everett must have been afraid for his family, that something worse than imprisonment would happen to his niece, that someone might attack his son… Either side could so easily have turned to violence. But... they hadn't. That had to mean something.

“It… it doesn’t have to be like that now, though,” Xavier added, looking between Elin and Leif with an almost pleading look on his face. “We don’t have a reason to fight anymore, this is our chance to start doing things differently. King Galateo said yesterday that… we need to cooperate, to… to trust each other…” He glanced sidelong at Elin. “I know that's not easy,” he said softly, more to her than to Leif. Gods knew, he hadn't found it easy to start trusting Leif and Ambrose - and there was still no one else in the noble Houses that he trusted as unreservedly as those two. “But I still think we should try.”

For a moment, Elin was startled by the touch on her arm, but when she saw it was Xavier, she was simultaneously eased… And concerned. On the one hand, though she had focused mostly on the conversation with Leif, she did want to see how Xavier was doing. On the other hand, if Leif interpreted the gesture correctly, and he guessed what was going on between them… She hoped he wouldn’t.

But she still couldn’t help staring at him as he spoke, sounding clearly concerned and worried. As much as Elin didn’t want to admit it… He was right on the mark about them being scared. There were more than a few conversations in the Shadow meetings that discussed what could happen, and they were always… tense, with a feeling of foreboding, just like she was feeling now… Although Xavier’s touch certainly helped.

But the matter of trust… Elin’s mouth had started to curve into a frown, but it was interrupted when she caught Xavier’s gaze, as he ensured that they should try. For a moment, Elin could only stare in silence. It was true that they didn’t have a reason to fight anymore… As long as House Jade was reasonable, and… Elin didn’t know if they would be. But after all that had happened...

And then she remembered that day, when Duval had decided to try to take Xavier in the town square. Leif was there with the rest of the House Jade, and he defended Xavier against Duval. Perhaps it could be due to Xavier being a member of his own House, but it didn’t mean Elin didn’t agree with Leif’s sentiments at the time. And the fact that he was willing to stand up for him, and help Xavier… She supposed Leif deserved some credit there. Enough to not entirely distrust him. But she doubted that Leif would extend that willingness to her if she explained her magic problems… Would he? She was beginning to doubt that doubt too, and thinking about it made her head hurt more.

She shut her eyes for a moment before turning her head to Leif. “I… I don’t want to fight either,” she admitted. “...Not if I don’t have to.”

“All right then.” Leif glanced between Elin and Xavier, dimly noticing that Xavier had kept his hand on Elin’s arm for an oddly long time but not really thinking much of it. “Nobody wants to fight.”

Elin gave a small nod. “Just… Let me know what Jade ends up deciding,” she said with finality.

It didn’t feel quite so much like trust, Leif thought, as a wary sort of...settling. Well. Nobody had said it would be easy or smooth reconciling with the Shadows. He nodded in response and asked, “So - if that settles your first concern, Miss Ryer, what was next to discuss?”

“Next…” Elin paused for a moment, trying to think of exactly how to bring up the next topic. Even though Leif didn’t seem to want to fight them and that harm might not come to her if she said too much, it didn’t make her less hesitant about bringing up her problem. She tried to remember what she had rehearsed in her head before, for a moment trying to decide how much to say to Leif.

Finally, she spoke. “Well, I...…” She frowned, hesitating again. “I also came to ask about a magic problem I have. Something odd happened, and we thought you might know why.”

Leif blinked, but a moment later realized he should have expected that. It was a bit of a relief, in a way; he was much better at magic than at diplomacy. “I’ll tell you what I can. What happened?”

Elin folded her arms onto the table, half to help keep herself sitting up, half to allow one of her arms to press against the table in a rebellion against the aching pain. She took a moment to recollect her thoughts before starting her story.

“Well, it started at the Coronation, when in the middle of the battle, I began to feel ill. I don’t think any spells hit me; it just happened. I thought it was just something else, so I didn’t worry much about it. But then… it got worse. Far worse than I was used to. And after it was all over, after the Courdonians had left, it got really bad, and… _{And then I fainted.}”

The last words fell out of her mouth anticlimactically and she shifted in her chair slightly. She had thought about leaving that part out, but decided there was no point if others could confirm what really happened anyway.

“...I woke up later in triage,” she continued. “The healer said something about me overusing magic. And also something about it hurting me? ...I don’t know. She helped me, gave me some things…” Elin glanced down at the bracelet on her arm, and she realized she had been playing with it absentmindedly.

“...But…” She looked back up at Leif. “What she said doesn’t make sense. I won’t deny I have magic; you probably figured that out already. But I can’t do very much, and I haven’t done a lot since I found out I could use magic. I didn’t even use any magic at all during the Coronation, much less overuse it.”

She frowned in confusion. “If it weren’t for the bracelet, I wouldn’t have even believed it was a magic problem. But it works, and she seemed sure it was magic. It just don’t get how, or why it happened, and it being overuse doesn’t make sense… Do you have any ideas about this?”

Xavier found his tension starting to ease as both Leif and Elin conceded that neither of them was interested in fighting. It wasn’t… much, not quite what he’d hoped for, but at least it was a start. And at least Elin seemed willing to bring up the issue of her magic. As long as she was getting the help she needed, he could be patient about the rest. Reconciliation was bound to take some time. He took his hand off of Elin’s arm, but stayed close, listening to her explanation of what had happened.

“I took her to the triage after she collapsed,” he said quietly. "She started shaking after we got there. It looked... bad." He didn't meet Elin's eye as he spoke; he didn't want to scare her, but Leif needed to know the seriousness of the situation. "It stopped once the healer gave her that," he added, indicating the bracelet, "so it must be something to do with magic. But none of it makes any sense."

Elin tried to look over to Xavier only to find that he wasn’t meeting her eye. He had mentioned shaking, but he hadn’t mention how bad it was. At the least it helped explain why Xavier seemed more worried about this than she was… She frowned. As much as she wanted to ask more about that detail, finding out why was a more pressing concern, if Leif decided to help her in this.

Leif listened, arms crossed over his chest. “That…is odd,” he agreed. “I’d say it must have been a spell you just didn’t notice, except that I’m pretty certain you’d have felt any hostile magic being cast on you - the Courdonians wouldn’t have been wasting time with subtle spells.

“And there’s what the healer said about overusing magic…but shaking like that and feeling ill don’t sound like the pull.” Glancing at Elin’s wrist, he asked, “Did the healer tell you what the bracelet does, exactly?”

Elin frowned in thought at his explanation, and she glanced at the bracelet again. “No, she didn’t. She just told me not to take it off for a day. ...Xavier said something about it suppressing magic.”

“Suppressing it? Unless you were actively using magic, that shouldn’t have done anything...” Realizing something else, Leif sighed and looked to Xavier. “Is that exactly what the healer said? That is was suppressing magic? Not dampening it?” His stomach knotted - it probably didn’t matter what Xavier had heard; even if he was certain, the healer could have misspoken. Leif hadn’t wanted to use any spells today...but the only way to be certain about the bracelet was to check the glyphs.

Xavier frowned uncertainly, trying to remember. "She... might have said dampening." He'd been terrified at the time, clinging to Elin's hand and watching as her condition worsened. The details were fuzzy in his mind, obscured by his own panic. "I- I'm not sure, I'm sorry," he said apologetically, looking at Leif. "What would that mean if it was a dampener?"

“Well, a dampener weakens the magic itself,” Leif explained. “A suppressor would cut Miss Ryer off from her magic, but the magic itself wouldn’t be affected. Which one the healer used might be a clue as to what’s going on.”

Leif held out his hand. “Can I see the bracelet, Miss Ryer? You don’t have to take it off. I just want to cast a spell on it to see what runes went into it so I can be sure which one it is.” He added, “It won’t affect the bracelet any, or you.”

Elin hesitated for a tiny moment, but after a brief glance at Xavier, she willingly brought her arm across the table towards Leif.

Leif drew his wand, holding the bracelet in place with two fingers of the hand he’d held out to Elin. Without his arms over his chest, he could already feel the ache from the barely-excised pull. This was not going to be fun.

Leif tapped his wand to the bracelet - and the pull suddenly tugged ferociously at his arms and chest. The pain was brief but intense, like someone had grabbed a rib on each side of his chest and yanked. Leif cursed through gritted teeth, clenching his eyes shut and his wand arm around his torso.

Elin carefully watched as Leif cast the spell, ignoring the throbbing in her head as she did so. But once it was cast, she couldn’t help but notice Leif’s sudden demonstration of pain. Her eyes went wide, but she didn’t move her wrist. If that was caused by magic, maybe he was going through some magical pull himself… Which she supposed made sense, given the battle yesterday. It relieved her somewhat, not due to the pain itself, but in the knowledge that she wasn’t the only one trying to get through the day on stitched willpower. It also removed any more suspicions that Leif would try anything today. Still, she knew that if she wanted anything more magical from him, they’d probably have to wait till they were both recovered. She hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

After a moment and a deep breath, Leif opened his eyes again and looked back up at Elin’s wrist. The runes had appeared, hovering green and slightly glowing over the bracelet. “Sorry,” he muttered. Scrutinizing the runes, Leif found his answer fairly quickly. “All right. It’s a dampener, not a suppressor. So...she was trying to ease your magic, not cut it off completely.” He released Elin’s wrist and managed to flick his wand enough to cut off the spell. Fortunately, that wasn’t accompanied by another burst of pain.

Elin gave a small nod to the apology as a silent way of accepting it, but quickly went back to looking at the runes. She had no idea what they said, and could only take Leif’s word for it, but she still stared, intrigued by the shapes before they disappeared. She brought her arm back and rubbed her forehead in response to another flash of pain. It was still hard to believe such odd shapes could do so much.

Xavier had leaned forward, watching Leif anxiously as he started to show signs of pain. Fortunately, it didn’t seem to last long, and Leif was able to finish the spell without any obvious adverse effects. Belatedly, Xavier realized that of course Leif must also be drained after the battle yesterday, and sat back with a faint, guilty frown on his face. When he’d gone to speak with him, he’d been so worried about Elin that he hadn’t even considered his friend’s exhaustion - he’d have to apologize later, and thank him.

“So dampening your magic fixed the symptoms. I’ve never heard of incantational magic giving symptoms like that.” Leif’s own formerly-suppressed archmage magic was the closest he’d felt to something like that, and it didn’t fit the description. And if Elin had blocks on some full range of power, she would be feeling the symptoms all the time, they didn’t really wax and wane so severely. He kept it in mind as a possibility, but more likely…

“It could be that you have some other kind of magic...something non-incantational. Are you sure you didn’t do anything...out-of-the-ordinary on the battlefield?”

Elin raised an eyebrow. “Non-incantational? ...I don’t know; I know I can cast some things. Don’t know about non-incantational… Shouldn’t I know or feel it if I had anything like that?”

Then again, I didn’t know my magic could do this to me either, she thought briefly to herself. She frowned in thought, trying to recall yesterday’s events in spite of the pain in her head. She woke up, dressed in her disguise, went to the Coronation, had their attempted distraction interrupted by Courdonians, and… Well, she’d spent most of that time fighting, until the battle ended and she collapsed. But for anything unusual, besides the symptoms and the battle itself…

After a moment of thought, something brief came into her mind, and she pondered the way she fought, and how she used the techniques. The Shadows found that unusual if useful, but… that wasn’t beyond the usual for her. And the techniques she used were still non-magical, and anything similar to what happened after the Coronation had never made her faint before. It was hard to wrap her head around the fact that was magic, if it even was. She should’ve felt it; she knew from her brief stints of spellcasting that using magic felt different than normal, and she didn’t know why that wouldn’t be the case there unless it wasn’t magic and just something she could do. And… she wasn’t certain if she was comfortable telling the Jades about her technique, not so soon. Then again, how much did the Jades know about what she could do? With their Seer with them, they could already have had some idea, but what if they didn’t? That was something she couldn’t tell with certainty… She supposed there were some risks she had to take here when bringing it up.

“...I’m not sure,” Elin admitted. “I don’t think so? ...I guess I did fight a lot in the battle, more than usual. But I learned the things I needed to know for that ahead of time.”

Leif said, “The physical skills, maybe, but if dampening the magic helped, it must have been...riled up.” TIlting his head, Leif asked, “Have you felt anything like this before? Not as severe, obviously, but illness, weakness, shaking, that didn’t make sense?”

Elin bit her lip in thought. “...I don’t know, I’ve never had anything this bad, but…”

Then she froze, her eyes going wide at a sudden thought. “Wait, I… Wait, let me think.” With that, Elin put her hand to her face, letting her head rest in it and sitting in thought. No, there was nothing severe like this, but feeling what she had now, and what she’s felt in the past… Obviously, this was the worst she felt, but the more she thought about it, the more it seemed… Not so different. Unless she was misremembering? Elin frowned, and a long period of silence passed before she finally spoke again.

“...Maybe…” she said quietly. “There is… One thing. I…” She frowned for a moment, studying Leif, pondering whether or not to tell him this, and whether it really fit the situation. But… Well, there was his desire not to fight, and she couldn’t deny that she was curious in case he did have an answer.. And she didn’t have to tell him everything. “I don’t know if it matters, but… Sometimes, I get sick, like you said. Not usual ones for other people. And I can’t tell when the first signs would start or why. It just happens every so often.” At this she waved her hand slightly. “I’ve talked to healers about it before; they didn’t know why either.”

Then again, it’s not like I could afford any Healers like the ones at the castle, Elin thought bitterly. Her forehead creased as she tried to think. “But like I said, I don’t know if it’s the same thing. It could be similar, but it was never as bad as at the Coronation. ...It’s kind of hard to tell right now.”

“Hm.” Leif fell silent a moment, pondering all of this information. Exhaustion made his head feel fuzzy and sluggish. Some kind of non-incantational magic… Leif had read about non-incantational magics before, but those volumes almost exclusively focused on the magic that was cased, not the...diagnosis, if that was an accurate term.

“Something must have triggered it each time,” Leif said slowly, thinking out loud at this point. “Might be some kind of skill-boosting magic. And if it struck badly at the coronation yesterday, it must have been related to something you were doing a lot of there - or there was a lot of whatever triggered it there.” With a shrug and absent rub at one eye, he went on, “I assume you did a lot of fighting, and there are magics that improve skill in combat. But if you don’t remember what triggered the symptoms the other times you’ve been sick...I doubt you’d just forget having a brawl before them every time.” He lapsed into thoughtful silence again.

Elin pondered for a moment what Leif had said. “Skill-boosting…” she said aloud in thought. After a brief moment, she shook her head. “It doesn’t happen after every time I get into a fight. It can happen on completely normal days too. I guess it… could be skill-boosting… But if fighting’s not the only trigger...” She frowned. “I don’t know… I’ve never thought about it. Magic is just so… New to me.”

Leif nodded sympathetically. While he couldn’t say he knew exactly what she was going through, having been a mage just about all his life, Leif was familiar with the uncertainty and nervousness that came from finding out you had a rare sort of magic. “Keep an eye on it in the future,” he advised. “Finding out what triggers it would help us a lot in pinning down exactly what kind of magic it is. And…” he hesitated to admit it, but Elin had already seen him in pain from casting an excruciatingly simple spell, so he went ahead and finished, “when I’m a little more recovered, I can look through the library at the Manor. There should be a book or two about non-incantational magic that might give us some clues.”

...Of course, that’s assuming I can stay in Medieville to use the Marsons’ library… Leif pushed the thought aside. He wasn’t going back to Solis - he’d promised Kirin he would find a way to stay here.

Elin only gave a small nod. “I won’t really be able to test it until I’m better. But I’ll try.”

But then she went silent for a moment, her lip curved into a frown. She didn’t doubt what he could do for her, and she didn’t doubt that he was the best one for that sort of job, at the very least for his literacy. She was more concerned about whether or not he would keep his word, or if he’d forget about it or shrug it off once he recovered and was out of her sight, and move on to other affairs with the nobles. It was still odd to her that Leif was willing to talk to her about this. For him to really help her for something personal to her, and not just something that affected both of them… Elin didn’t think she could even dream it.

...But then she glanced over to Xavier. He was in their House, and she had no doubt that he was concerned for her. If Leif avoided the topic, Xavier seemed to be a friend of his. Xavier could help him keep his word. ...If he could.

And then there were the Shadows, the Jades, and their affiliations… Elin and Leif may have called a truce on each other, but it didn’t matter if Jade ended up not accepting it. Even if Leif didn’t ever decide to fight them, he’d still ultimately be with the Jades.

Elin looked back over to Leif, clutching another stitch in her side and trying not to let the pain show on her face. “...I hope you do. ...But talk to the other Jades about the Shadows first, when you’re better. I can wait until then.”

...Right. We have to worry about our factions fighting. Leif restrained a frustrated sigh, suspecting it would be misinterpreted as irritation with Elin, when what Leif was truly fed up with was all the conflict. “I’ll ask around the House - I’m sure it’s already been brought up, I’ll figure out which way Lord Everett is leaning.” Though Leif hoped that he was right in what he’d said earlier, that Everett’s lack of an objection at the coronation meant no argument was coming, it wasn’t as if he had a great track record of predicting the things people would do. “I’ll let you know as soon as it’s decided.

“Just be careful in the meantime,” he added. “...You know, considering this is a magical issue, you might want to try eating sugary foods. They help some with the pull; they might help with this, too.”

Elin paused. “Right… The Healer told me something similar, but...” She reached towards her belt before she sighed. “I have something sugary for that, but I must have left it behind… Nevermind, I’ll get it later.”

“Anyway, as for your House…” Elin trailed off, and she found herself looking at Xavier again. “...When you two know for sure, Xavier, could you find me and tell me?”

Xavier nodded, looking at her. His brows were still slightly creased with worry. “Of course I will,” he said, reaching out to lay a gentle, reassuring hand on her shoulder. “As soon as I can.”

He was relieved that the two of them were willing to cooperate, but he could still feel the tension hanging heavy in the air around them, and it made him nervous. House Jade had to accept King Galateo, or all of this was going to fall apart. Elin’s life would be in danger if she couldn’t trust Leif to accept help from him - and she wouldn’t be the only one, if violence broke out again.

He looked across at Leif. “Thank you for helping her, Leif,” he said quietly. Later, when Elin wasn’t with them, he’d have to ask what Leif really thought of the chances that Everett would accept Galateo’s rule - and if there was anything, however small, that he could do to help encourage peace between their factions. They all needed it. Now, though, was not the time for that conversation.

Leif nodded slightly, not really sure what to say in reply. ‘Of course’? No - even if Leif hadn’t even really considered refusing to try and help Elin, even if he did have personal reasons for not wanting other mages to be hurt by their own magic, even if he was inclined to help a friend of Xavier’s...he probably shouldn’t be admitting that to a member of what might be a rival faction, if he was wrong about Everett’s plans. ‘You’re welcome’ sounded too lofty. He couldn’t really think of any other alternatives, either. By Woo, Leif hated diplomacy. Hopefully he’d at least made a good start for his House by agreeing to help, whether or not he’d been very eloquent about it.

“Right. So - was there anything else?” It sounded like the meeting was coming to a close, but it would hardly be the first time Leif had been mistaken about something like that. Please just let this be over...I’m so tired... Even so, he racked his pounding head for anything the Jades needed to discuss with the Shadows. He couldn’t think of anything, at least, not anything Elin was likely to give him a full and honest answer to.

“...No, I think that’s it for now,” Elin said as she set both her arms onto the table in effort to keep herself up for a little longer. She felt more tired since the meeting began, and she had to fight every urge to not lean in to Xavier for support. “We’ll speak again later. I want to know about our factions before a week is out.”

Leif might have raised his eyebrows at Elin’s tone if he’d had enough energy to care about that right now; but tired and relieved to be able to leave this meeting, Leif’s expression remained as it was. “Fine. They should have a decision made by then.”

Leif braced himself and rose from the table, taking and holding a breath to try and keep his chest from being jostled. It didn’t help; the ache still seared up and down his ribs, and Leif clenched his jaw to keep from grimacing. The spell he’d cast earlier probably hadn’t helped that any. Well, he thought as he slipped his wand back into its holster, that had been his own fault, hadn’t it?

He looked to Xavier, who was still sitting close to Elin. Presumably Xavier was going to escort her back home, since he’d brought her here as well. The girl’s magic must really have struck her hard if she needed her friend’s support that badly. “I’ll see you at the manor later, I suppose, Xavier. And we’ll talk again, Miss Ryer.”

Much as he would have liked to collapse on the bed right there, Leif forced himself to head for the door. Back to Marson Manor, and then a long, well-deserved nap - and then he would get to work on staying here, and ensuring that here was a place worth staying.

As soon as Elin was certain that Leif was gone, she dropped her tenuous facade of strength. She slumped in her seat and leaned against Xavier, her arms sprawled on the table. After a moment, Elin spoke, her voice quiet.

“That went better than I’d thought…” she murmured. “Xavier.... thanks.”

Xavier put his arm around Elin’s shoulders to support her. “Leif will do whatever he can,” he said firmly. “He can be trusted. And I… I don’t know how much influence I have with House Jade,” he admitted. Even knowing he wasn’t a slave or a servant… he couldn’t see any reason why the imposing Lord Everett should listen to him at all. “But I’ll try. I know both the Jades and the Shadows only want what’s best for Kyth.”

He sighed, turning to look at Elin. He almost couldn’t dare to hope that the conflict was almost at an end, that he and Elin could be together without such risk. “If House Jade does agree to cooperate,” he said quietly. “Promise me you’ll let Leif help you? Whatever’s happening with your magic, it’s… I just don’t want you to get hurt. You don’t have to hide now that the conflict is over.” He paused, then added, almost wonderingly, “We don’t have to hide.”

Elin put her own arm around his, both to bring herself closer to Xavier and to further support herself. She felt as if he were the only thing keeping her from falling off the chair or falling onto the table. She looked up into Xavier’s eyes and listened as he spoke.

“...I would like to not hide,” Elin admitted. “Hide what’s between us… Or having to hide myself.” She paused for a moment. For her to not have to hide… When she was first arrested, and when she first broke out, she wasn’t sure when she could ever again live normally or show her face in public. If House Jade did agree to cooperate and they truly meant it, then she would only have lived a short life as a fugitive; far more than she could have hoped otherwise.

...But…

“...I just have to be sure first that they’ll work with me,” she said. “More than just their word. After all that’s happened between our factions, I can’t help but wonder what would happen.” She frowned. “I do want to finally find out what this is, and maybe he could find out. I think I do want to give it a chance; I just… I don’t know yet.”

She paused. “...Xavier, when I collapsed… How bad was it, really?”

Xavier went slightly paler than normal, and he looked away. “I… it was bad,” he said quietly. “At least… the healer didn’t say, but she was so urgent, I was afraid you’d… that you were…” He couldn’t quite get the words out. Didn’t happen, he told himself firmly. And hopefully, with Leif’s help, it wouldn’t. All the same, his arm tightened around her shoulders, squeezing protectively. “I was really scared,” he admitted, staring down at the ground. “After making it through everything else, I… I d-don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.” His voice shook a little on those last words; admitting his fears to her was harder than he’d thought.

Elin stared, her eyes widened slightly. She could feel just how serious her condition was, but if it was as bad as Xavier was suggesting… Elin wasn’t sure if she wanted to believe it, and was wondering whether or not it was truly as bad as it looked. Even so… She squeezed Xavier’s arm and tried to catch his gaze again. She knew that she had worried him, but she hadn’t known to what extent. And upon reflection, she realized that the way she had been handling the issue didn’t do much to reassure him.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t realize I’d scared you so much. Or that it seemed that bad. ...But I’m…” ‘Fine’ wasn’t the right word; she felt absolutely awful. But she wanted to say something to assure him. “...I’m still here. I’m not going anywhere. And… I promise to try to find out for sure what’s triggering this.”

She couldn’t promise to work with Leif. She still wasn’t certain if he really would ultimately help her, after all that had happened. Especially so if Jade continued to be antagonistic towards the Shadows. She couldn’t promise to find out for sure what her condition was either; all of her previous attempts to find out were fruitless. Before now, she had given up entirely on finding out what it was and settled for combating her symptoms when they came. But if Leif was right, and there was a trigger for the magic that Elin was missing, then she could avoid using it, and save Xavier the worry and herself the pain. The conversation she had today at least gave her a good starting point to do that.

Xavier leaned his head against hers, resting his cheek on the top of her head. “I’ll do whatever I can to help,” he promised. “We’ll figure this out… I know we can figure this out.” There was no denying that he was still scared for her. But between the three of them, himself and two people he trusted absolutely… On impulse he turned and kissed the top of her head. “I have faith in you,” he said simply.

Elin couldn’t help but smile. “I’m glad you’re here. And I hope we can find out...”

She spent a brief moment basking in Xavier’s warmth until she remembered the ache she felt, and she brought up a hand to rub her forehead. “...I should probably go home soon, now that he’s gone. Before any…” She looked up at Xavier. Although the conversation with Leif was a short one, it combined with her condition made her feel more fatigued, and less willing to stand up. “...Maybe not yet, though. Maybe in… just a bit…”

Xavier squeezed her shoulder gently, letting her lean into him. “Ilsa won’t mind if you stay a little longer,” he said softly. “Would… would you like something to eat? I can go see if she has anything…”

Elin looked up at Xavier, the smile still on her face. “I think I would… Nothing big; I’m not too hungry. But… Well, if sugar helps with the pull, maybe something with that, if she has it. To help me get back later. But I do like… being here again.”

She leaned up to kiss Xavier. She wasn’t sure if it was safe to come out of hiding even though she knew she would be officially pardoned. But there was Xavier with her to help her if anything went wrong. And the Inn always felt comforting, welcoming. She hadn’t expected to come again so soon after becoming a fugitive, but she was glad she did. It all made her feel that things were finally getting a little better.

Xavier smiled, leaning in to return her kiss. He had to admit that there was something about having her in the inn again that felt… right. That everything was going back to normal - even if he’d be returning to Marson Manor later, even if Elin herself had helped install the new king on the throne. Things were going to be completely, irrevocably different from now on - but maybe there were some things that didn’t have to change. Like being with Elin, or like how the inn always felt like coming home.

He made himself pull away, standing up carefully so that he didn’t take away Elin’s support too suddenly. “I’ll ask Ilsa if she has anything with sugar,” he said. “You just… rest, okay? Let me take care of it.” He gave her a small, shy smile and then turned to go, heading downstairs to talk to Ilsa.

Elin nodded as Xavier left the room. When he was out of sight, she leaned her head on the table, her arms clutching her stomach. She thought about getting up and closing the door, a part of her still worried about anyone who could potentially be lurking, waiting, searching for the rebel fugitive, and-- no. No. She wasn’t a fugitive anymore, not officially. And the inn was safe, there were friends in the same building...

Going to have to get used to not having to hide… all of this… Elin thought to herself, as she felt her eyes going bleary and begin to droop. Not that… it’s all bad… Definitely not...

Elin thoughts wandered, and she didn’t notice them gradually becoming less coherent until she unwittingly dozed off.

When Xavier returned, he was carrying a plate of candied nuts that Ilsa had in the kitchen. He opened his mouth to tell Elin, and then stopped short as he saw her slumped in her chair, her breathing even and peaceful. Xavier smiled slightly, and set the plate down on the table in front of her very carefully so the sound of it wouldn’t wake her. Then he returned to his own seat, not intending to wake her until she was good and ready. She deserved to get some rest, after the events of the past weeks. And when she woke up, he’d be there for her, just as he always was.

Reaching Out

SPOILER: Click to show

It had been a few weeks after the Coronation, and Elin and Xavier were walking near the lake, a satchel of food with each of them. Things were still busy with both of them, with Elin doing her work for both the butcher and the Shadows while Xavier was assisting Leif with diplomacy between the factions and anything else Leif needed help with. But they've been meaning to go on a picnic together for a while, and that weekend, things were calm enough that it was a good opportunity to do so. They were resting at the forested shore of the lake, chatting as they stared out at the lake.

“...And none of that was magical, so I think he was definitely right about my magic being non-incantational,” Elin continued. “The few spells I tried outwardly casting just... barely worked, if at all. I guess it makes sense if my magic was never meant to be cast outward, and was only for something... uh... inward.”

Elin paused before letting out a small laugh. “Sorry; I don't know how much that made sense. I still don't really get it, honestly, so I'm probably not explaining it well.”

Xavier nodded slowly. "Maybe that's why you got so sick before... if that's the way it works, it would make sense that you'd get something worse than the normal Pull."

He trailed off, staring out over the water and looking lost in thought. "Elin..." Unconsciously he hunched inward, curling forward with his arms around his knees. "There's - there's something I should probably tell you."

Elin turned her head towards Xavier, a concerned look on her face, uncertain of what he wanted to say. "What is it?" she asked.

He remained silent for a moment more, tensing. Despite the fact that he trusted Elin absolutely, he'd hidden this for so long that it was difficult to say it. "I... you've told me about your magic, s-so you should know, and I don't want to hide anything from you, and..." Xavier swallowed, forcing himself to stop his nervous chatter. He took a deep breath. "I have magic."

The words tumbled out too quickly and seemed to hang in the air. Xavier realized his heart was pounding; he'd already decided earlier that he wanted to tell Elin, but actually doing so was strangely terrifying.

For a moment, Elin was silent as she took in Xavier's confession. Her eyes had gone wide with shock as she tried to figure out what to say. Clearly, hiding his magic for this long had meant a great deal to him, but Elin couldn't think of why. It was already obvious after all this time that Elin wasn't going to be hostile about magic, so she knew it couldn't have been that.

"Xavier, I..." she trailed off before putting a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it in support and giving it a small smile. "I can't say I'm not surprised... I'm glad you told me, though. And I won't tell anyone else if you don't want me to. ...But why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I..." For a moment, Xavier met her eyes with a small, relieved smile. It wasn't that he'd actually expected any negative reaction from her, but the way she'd reacted was still somehow reassuring. Then he looked away, back over the lake with a troubled frown, his brow furrowed. "Y-you wouldn't ask that if you'd lived in Courdon." He laughed shakily, but there was no humor in it. "Slaves with magic are... are valuable. We make good tools. That's... one of the reasons Duval wanted me back so badly."

He looked back at Elin, his eyes sad. "So when I got to Kyth... I kept it secret, just to be safe. I didn't want anyone to try and use me... or realize how profitable it would be to turn me in. Even after I knew I wouldn't have to keep secrets anymore, especially with you--" He swallowed hard. "I'd just been hiding it for so long... I'm sorry."

Elin frowned with concern as she stared into Xavier's eyes, giving his shoulder another squeeze. "It's alright. And I... know that can become a habit." She paused for a moment, remembering what she had yet to tell Xavier even though she told herself she would... But this wasn't a good time to speak of that. Not today.

"I never knew they wanted mages so much, although I guess it makes sense. It's another good reason for you to stay away. ...But you're still free now, and safer. And no one can use your magic without your permission."

Xavier winced. "They could," he said, very softly. "If they knew how."

He wrapped his arms around himself tightly. "There's a... there's something they do to slaves that have magic. They call it conditioning. So after Duval found out about me..." Xavier looked away from Elin, his lips tight. "I can't use my own magic at all," he admitted. "Not since then. It... hurts too much to try. But others could use it for me. Like he did."

Elin couldn't help but cringe at Xavier's description, and a look of horror appeared on her face as he finished. "He really...? I-I didn't know they could... Xavier, that's awful," she breathed. The idea of anyone doing that to Xavier, blocking off a part of him and using him like that, made her feel a shudder in her spine. She edged closer and and she moved her arm over his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I don't think I can imagine what that's like, but it's horrible that it happened to you."

Xavier pressed himself closer to Elin for comfort. Now that the initial nervousness and fear had passed, talking about this was something of a relief. He wasn't sure if he'd have been able to talk about it with anyone aside from her.

"When House Jade recruited me - a noble house full of mages..." He hesitated. Now that he knew Leif so well, it seemed a little absurd, what he'd once thought of House Jade. But if they'd been Courdonian, there was no doubt in his mind about what they would have done to him. "I thought they'd find out and do the same thing. I didn't realize people don't use that kind of magic here." His voice dropped. "They... could have made me hurt you, and I wouldn't have been able to stop them."

Elin stared at Xavier, her grip tightening. "It's no wonder you were so scared of them, then. Scared enough to..." She shook her head. It wasn't going to happen again. "...If they did something like that through you, forced you in that way, that wouldn't have been your fault," she said softly. "Honestly, I was expecting to get hurt somehow. But it would've been just cruel of them if they tried something like that. And I'm glad they didn't, for both our sakes." She paused. "But you not being able to stop it... Isn't there anything to get rid of the conditioning, or at least change it so that others can't use you?"

"I... don't know," Xavier said slowly. "I've never heard of it being reversed. The slaves who survive conditioning are supposed to be used for magic the rest of their lives. And I know it takes a lot of time and effort to have it done. For me, it- it was almost a year." He hunched in on himself a little more, a distant, haunted look in his eyes. "The thing I keep wondering is, what if it's like the brand? That's supposed to be a permanent mark, to show you'll always be a slave... what if my magic is permanently marked too? Th-that it belongs to Duval, not me?"

"But it's not his..." Elin trailed off. She wanted to assure him that his magic didn't belong to Duval, and that it was a part of him. But she couldn't deny what Xavier told her about the aspects of the conditioning, and the fact that he couldn't use it himself at all. And all she knew was what Xavier told her.

"I... I don't know. I hope that it's not. And it shouldn't; your magic should be your own. I just wish I knew more about it, or magic, or..."

She paused, struck with a thought before looking into Xavier's eyes. "I don't know anything about how it would work or how to make it better... But maybe you could bring it up with Leif too, see what he can find out. If he's been willing to help me, maybe he'll help you figure something out.

Xavier looked back at her, pensive. "I should," he admitted. "And I do trust Leif, it's just..." He trailed off, leaving the thought unfinished, unsure if he could put it into words. It wasn't even as much a thought as an instinct, ringing loud and clear like alarm bells in his mind. That it would be a disaster if anyone found out about this.

But he'd been revealing his past piece by piece, to Elin and to Leif and to the others he'd grown to trust in Medieville. It was okay to ask for help, he'd learned. He just still had to work up the nerve.

"Besides," he said with a sigh. "E-even if he can't fix it, he probably needs to know. I'm... I'm a liability to House Jade and they don't even know it. If anyone found out about my magic, if they knew how to use it, they could use me as a weapon - make me attack them from the inside..." The thought made him feel ill, and not just at the prospect of having his magic used again. The idea of hurting House Jade after they'd taken him in, especially if it was Leif...

"Lord Everett should know what's living under the same roof as his heir," Xavier said quietly, almost in a whisper.

Elin clutched Xavier close as he spoke, in thought herself. Although she didn't share the same loyalty Xavier had to House Jade, she could understand his concerns about being a danger to his own faction, and others. And though she hated to think about it, he was right about the danger he posed if someone knew how to use his magic.

"Or anyone else..." she said softly in agreement. But she frowned. She understood wanting to warn the head of his House, but at the same time, after how Everett treated Xavier upon first inducting him into his House... She wasn't sure how well they'd take it. And she didn't want anything else bad to happen to Xavier. "I think for now, you should just tell Leif, and see what happens with that first and what he can do. And then tell more people when it's safer. Because I think you're right; it can be dangerous. But I do think you should get help for it. Even if you don't use it... You should be able to control your own magic."

Leaning on Elin, Xavier bit his lip. "I should," he said. "He might not be able to fix it. But even if there's just some way to make sure it can't happen again - so no one can use my magic at all, even if I have to just... get rid of it. Destroy it."

He was silent for a few minutes, collecting his thoughts. None of this was normally something he was willing to dwell on; it was easier to pretend he didn't have magic at all, that the conditioning had been nothing more than a drawn out, year-long nightmare. But the risk to House Jade and to his other friends - that was something he couldn't just ignore, especially after his encounter with Lord Duval and knowing just how close his old master had come to reclaiming him.

With a deep, shuddering sigh, he rested his head on Elin's shoulder. His hands were trembling slightly, he realized, betraying his anxiety and fear about the topic of his magic. "I'd rather die than be used like that again," he said simply, his voice sounding strangely calm to his own ears.

Elin looked over at him, her eyes wide as he spoke, a concerned frown on her face. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a hug.

"I'd rather you don't die, Xavier," Elin said, squeezing him gently. "But I don't want either to happen to you. And if anyone tries... I won't let anyone use you like that." She briefly nuzzled her head against Xavier's. "And I'll help keep it secret. At least, until we figure something out. Somehow. Even if Leif thinks getting rid of your magic is best, if that's possible... But I hope there's a better way than that."

"Thank you," he said, relieved to hear that Elin would keep his secret for now. He knew it was irrational, but all the same, he couldn't help but feel that he'd put her at risk by telling her this. Slowly he relaxed in her arms, wondering if she could feel how hard his heart was pounding. "I... I don't know if there's a way to fix it, but..."

He took a deep shuddering breath, one hand coming up to rest on Elin's arm, as if to comfort himself by touching her. "I told Duval I'd fight him, that I'd never let him control me again," he said, so quietly it was barely audible. "So maybe I should... should fight this too."

It was a terrifying thought to voice aloud. Physically he'd escaped Courdon, but there was no escaping his conditioning - that certainty had been driven into his mind time and again. To even make the decision to try - it felt like standing on the edge of a cliff, staring into the abyss with nothing to prevent him from falling.

But there was Elin's warmth at his side and her arms around him, grounding him. And she, he knew well, was not the only person in Medieville who wanted to help him. Closing his eyes, he leaned in against her. "Whatever happens," he said softly, "I'm not going anywhere." He'd come too far to stop fighting the enki now, even if Duval was nowhere near.

Elin leaned her head against Xavier's, smiling to herself. "And I'm not either," she responded softly. "I can't do much about the magic itself... But I'll be here."

"And if there's a way to get around it, to fix it... That's also another loss for Duval. And he deserves every single one." Elin only wished that they could gloat their successes to Duval's face. But seeing Xavier be free and happy was good enough. She leaned in to kiss Xavier on the cheek.

Despite himself, Xavier smiled slightly, and gave Elin's arm an affectionate squeeze. Having her close made the fear more bearable, made him feel that much stronger. Even now, a month into their courtship, he couldn't believe how lucky he was.

"I'll go see Leif," Xavier murmured, his voice soft but determined. "I will. And we'll figure something out. Something. I..." He let out a small, shaky hiccup of a laugh, and buried his face in her shoulder. "I'm just afraid it'll hurt," he admitted, his voice sounding small and muffled. "Like... like before."

Elin continued to hold Xavier, putting a hand up to his hair. "I hope it won't. Maybe there's a way around that. But if it does... You won't be alone. And this time, you can look forward to being free of this, and not being hurt like this again."

Clinging to her, Xavier took deep breaths, trying to calm down. "I'll... be free of this. I will." Maybe, just maybe he could convince himself of it. "I am free. Just... just one step more..."

It was something he'd told himself, over and over, on his journey north. One step more. One foot in front of the other, even when he was bone-weary and hungry and cold, one more step away from Courdon. It was no different now. One more painful conversation with Leif, one more bond to break... He'd get there.

He shifted so he could look up at her, smiling slightly as he lifted one hand to her cheek. "You - this - I never want to give this up. Ever."

Elin held him close, letting Xavier take his time until he looked up at her, putting his hand to her cheek. Elin let her head rest in his palm, smiling. "I don't want to give you up either. I'm so glad to have all of this. And so glad you got away from that awful place."

She stared into his eyes in thought. Before today, if anyone were to ask her if Xavier had magic, she probably would have laughed at them, especially after all the years she had known him. She could never have guessed the conversations during their hike would take this turn... But she wasn't sorry for it. Especially considering how much keeping the secret had hurt him...

Elin shook the thought out of her mind before bringing her hand over to grasp Xavier's free hand. Considering all that had happened, an irrational part of her wanted to march down to Courdon and give Duval another piece of her mind. But she pushed the foolish idea back, giving Xavier's hand a reassuring squeeze as she did so. It would be better to help Xavier through this, and be with him even if she couldn't help him more directly.

Confiding
(~1 month after the end of canon)

SPOILER: Click to show

Elin was striding through the halls of Raven's Keep, thoroughly annoyed. It had been a particularly stressful Council meeting that night, mostly because of the nobles that she had to deal with that day. One in particular.

“...Pit-spawned... It's the Shadow Council of Peasant affairs, who does he think he is, interrupting and...?” Elin was grumbling as she strode out onto the grounds of the Keep. It didn't help her mood considering that it was a farmer who was petitioning them and why they were petitioning them before the noble interrupted. As Elin was shouting at the noble, she found her thoughts lingering to a time years ago, a time when she was helpless, when...

Elin tried to shake the thought out of her mind, and she rubbed her forehead. She didn't like dwelling on it. She never did, really. But it kept coming up over and over as she settled into her position on the Council. And she wished it would stop.

As Elin neared the steps, she spotted a figure standing near them and she squinted her eyes, peering through the dark. She thought he looked familiar, and his red hair only helped this and--

And then it hit her. ”Xavier,” Elin breathed, quickening her pace so she could be near Xavier faster. After all that had happened, seeing him was a relief. “It's so good to see you, you would not believe my day. ...But what brings you here?”

Xavier's face lit up at the sight of her, though it was coupled with a slightly puzzled look at her question. "I came to see you," he explained. "I thought you might want some company walking back from the Keep. And I've finished my magic practice, so..." He smiled at her. But he hadn't missed how tired and frustrated she'd seemed coming toward the steps, even if the expression had lightened a little when she spotted him.

"How did your meeting go?" he said, a concerned look coming into his eyes. He held out his hand, a silent invitation to walk together.

Elin blinked, surprised, but not displeased. She could feel the edge in her mood tapering, but overall, she still felt frustrated. But she didn't want to take it out on Xavier, especially not when he was doing something so sweet for her.

"I could use the company," Elin said, trying to smile back, but she couldn’t manage much of one thanks to her mood. She accepted Xavier's hand and they began to walk down the steps together.

"...It went awful," Elin said a moment later. "We were getting things done at first. One of the farmers was petitioning us with a problem, and that was going okay too..." Elin glared at the horizon. "Until that nobleman decided he had to speak up, even though he wasn't even related to the case!"

The Council--in its first week--had decided that although nobles could observe Council meetings if they wanted to, for the most part, they had to stay silent and merely listen to the Council proceedings unless it directly involved them or the Council had asked them to speak.

Elin grumbled as she continued. "He interrupted us before telling us what we should do and insisting on his ideas. And he was going on and on, as if we didn't know anything about farming, but mostly as if we were all idiots."

Elin noticed that her grip of Xavier's hand had grown strong and potentially uncomfortable for him, and she loosened her hand. "Sorry," she said. Then she sighed, trying to be more careful about her grip as she continued. "Anyway, I tried to tell him to leave, and it took a while until he was gone, and I... I just wanted to throw all of them out."

She took a breath, trying to calm herself down. "I've been in a bad mood ever since. I'm just glad we could still help the farmer." She looked up at Xavier, a hint of a rueful smile tugging on her lips. "I wish I could be in a better mood for you. Listening to me rant probably isn't what you expected when you came up."

"It's okay," Xavier said, squeezing her hand. "It's good just to see you... although I wish there was something I could do to help more than just listening."

He frowned a little in sympathy. "And it doesn't seem like most nobles are very used to sitting quietly and... listening." He sighed. "Some are better than others, but..." The nobles he'd met and befriended in Medieville were kind, and on the whole he'd found that the nobility in Kyth were far less prone to petty cruelty than their counterparts in Courdon. Still, no system was perfect, even if it wasn't as broken as the one he came from.

"I guess it will take time for some of them to get used to having to respect peasants, too," he mused. "But you'll get there, I know you will." He met her eyes, giving her a shy smile. "I think you're brilliant on the Council. I could never do that."

"I..." Elin looked up at Xavier, smiling in spite of herself. "Thanks Xavier. Listening may not be much, but it still means a lot to me. ...I hope I'm doing okay at the job. I think I am, I just..."

Elin let out a sigh. "Sometimes I wonder if we're doing enough for everyone else, helping everyone. I know it takes time to work things out, and it's been hard sometimes, but... Well, there's still people suffering out there, and..." She trailed off at this, her mind once again bringing up memories, distant and yet at the same time not... Elin tried to push them out of her head, and though she was about to keep her mind on a different track, she couldn't get the thought out of her head completely.

"I want to believe you when you say the nobles will listen to us eventually... But I don't know. Every time I think I'm meeting a better noble, something happens like at the meeting tonight that reminds me what I'm fighting for."

Not that I need much reminder, Elin thought bitterly to herself.

"It never feels like enough, when there are still people suffering out there," Xavier said quietly. "But it's... it's still something. They have someone speaking for them, don't they? That's more than they ever had before. Even the nobles who mean well don't really know what it's like, living as a commoner. But you do."

He looked up, overlooking the city of Medieville as they descended the stairs from the Keep. "I... I always thought it was really brave of you, joining the Shadows. No one in Courdon ever even thought of changing things, it was just the way things were. But none of you let the way things were stop you from trying to make things better." He gave a slightly sheepish smile. "I really admire that." Muriel, he thought, would have liked Elin very much.

Elin's pace slowed, and for a moment, her voice seemed distant. "I was thinking at the time that we deserved better. So much better than what they've been doing for us--all of us. ...Or rather, what they haven't been doing..."

She trailed off and grew silent. Once more, thoughts rushed into her head. Memories of all the times she said similar things at Shadow meetings, about having a voice for the peasants. Since before, if they so much as tried... She knew all too well everything that had happened because of that. She found herself wishing that she could accept that the compliment was true for virtue alone. But she knew that she couldn't.

She hesitated, her mind stuck on a thought, before she looked up into Xavier's eyes.

"But Xavier," she nearly whispered. "I didn't join the Shadows. I founded them."

Startled, Xavier's eyes widened. "You... what?" he managed. He'd long since come to see being a Shadow as part of who Elin was; it had surprised him at first, but by now it was a normal part of life, and he'd grown accustomed to the fact that she was involved in the changes that had come to Kyth since the coronation. But it seemed that she was even more a part of those changes than he'd thought.

"...Why didn't you tell me?" he blurted out, without thinking about it. Then he winced, and looked away. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean... You didn't have to tell me, I just wish I'd known." All those tense moments of worrying about the Shadows and their intentions took on new meaning. At the same time... maybe things wouldn't have changed much if he had known. If she'd approached him before Everett, would he have had the courage to join her? He didn't know. It bothered him not knowing.

Elin bit her lip, for a short moment struggling to figure out what to say. "I-I didn't... Before the coronation, it was because of our factions. But after..." Elin's brow furrowed. "I just didn't think to mention it. I'm sorry."

She found her thoughts swirling. It was true she didn't think to tell him... Because she was too focused on the other things she had put off telling him. Things about before... Things that she had thought about mentioning earlier, only to find herself struggling with the painful memories again, and worried about re-living them again, or breaking down as she did with Clare...

But then was it right to keep such secrets from him, after all they had been through together? She didn't mean to keep him in the dark... But she realized that's just what she'd been doing, and just because she was afraid.

...So much for being brave, Elin thought to herself, glum. She hoped it wasn't too late to turn it around.

She could feel her heart beating within her chest as she tried to catch Xavier's eye again. "You're right to want to know," she said quietly. "And... I'm sorry again. There's more I need to tell you."

Slowly Xavier looked up to meet her eyes, catching the nervousness in her face. Whatever it was, he could tell that it was important, and found himself squeezing her hand again reassuringly.

"Do you want to take a walk around the lake?" he said. "It's... quiet." He didn't want them to be interrupted while Elin was telling him something important. Besides, he always found the gentle ripples of the lake rather peaceful and soothing when he was nervous; maybe it would help Elin too.

Elin looked up at Xavier and squeezed his hand in return, a gesture mostly to calm her own nerves. She took a moment to look out at the city of Medieville, and the lake that stretched at the end of it. It would take a bit of time getting there and back home later, but Elin found that she didn't care about that right now. Not with her heart thudding as it was and the thoughts weighing down her mind as they were. She looked back at Xavier and nodded.

"I'd like that," Elin said quietly. Swallowing, she continued walking with Xavier, still gripping his hand as if to ground herself until the inevitable. "It... might be a long talk. But I know a few good spots around the lake we can go."

It was getting dark by the time they reached the lake. Xavier was still holding Elin's hand, liking the natural way their fingers fit together and entwined. As they approached the shore he looked over at her face, concern on his features as he studied her expression. Something was bothering her - whatever it was, he wanted to help.

"What did you want to tell me?" he said softly.

As they stopped by the shore of the lake, Elin paused, her hand still gripping Xavier's as she looked around for anyone nearby. But there was no sign of anyone, and it was nearly silent; nothing but the sounds of the rustle of the trees and the lapping of the water on the shore. She glanced down at the shore and the multitude of water before her before shutting her eyes and turning back to Xavier.

"I... should've told you this soon after the Coronation. It didn't occur to me until a few days after. And then after that, I just... I should've told you. I just... Never did." She let out a heavy sigh. "I've... Never really told you why I created the Shadows, or why I was a part of them at all. I mean, I did do it because of the nobles, all they were doing, or... Or, rather, what they weren't doing..." She gulped. "But there's another reason. And I need to tell you. I... It happened..."

She blinked. "...'Woo, I don't even know where to begin. I... I need to sit down."

There was a smooth grassy spot not too far from where they stood. Gently Xavier led Elin over and sat down with her, looking earnestly at her face.

“I’m here,” he said, turning toward her and reaching to grip her hand in both of his. “And I’ll listen as long as you want me to.”

Elin didn’t feel relieved much as she sat down, but she was grateful anyway. She knew she would need it at some point.

“Thank you,” Elin said quietly. She tried to return Xavier’s grip, but it wasn’t strong, and she found her thoughts wandering. A part of her mind was telling her to stop now, to not mention it… No. Xavier needed to know, and the delay in telling him was already unacceptable, especially when he was so close to her heart. And she’d already gotten the worst of her fears out with Clare. She told herself to just do it, and she looked up as she started the story.

“I-it started with the Famine,” Elin began. “I know I’ve told you about that before, with that being why I left Kine… I didn’t tell you the whole story. It… Xavier, it was horrible. Everything we had was… We were slowly losing everything. It wasn’t so bad at first; we thought it was just a bad harvest season. But then it got worse and worse… And the taxes--we had to pay ours in food--started eating us alive.”

“I thought they didn’t know how it was affecting us. I was sure I could talk to them. I thought.... Doesn’t matter what I thought. I was just a stupid kid then. But I went with my father to see the minor noble in charge of our land. But he wouldn’t help. Told us he couldn’t, told us we had to see Lord Miller to get a proper tax cut. So we did. And he…”

Elin paused for a long time before giving out a hollow, humorless laugh. “Didn’t care about us one bit. Practically waved us off and kicked us out without so much as considering us or even listening to us. He’s supposed to help us, and he may as well have signed our death warrant.”

At this, she trailed off, finding herself staring at the water.

Xavier squeezed Elin’s hand, his eyes filled with sympathy - and a little bit of anger. He’d long since known, of course, that the idealized image he’d held of Kyth back in Talvace was not reality, but… he thought Kythian lords would be better than this. Unfortunately, that kind of callousness toward others’ suffering was something he knew all too well.

“What happened?” he asked softly, not taking his eyes off her face.

“...We didn’t have a choice. We went back to the farm and tried to make due. My father was so confident we’d be fine. And… I wish that was all it was; just more of the same until they sent me to my aunt’s. But--”

A lump formed in her throat and she gulped. Once again, she heard the water lapping at the shore…

Water…

Elin tore her eyes from the shore and tried to look up at Xavier’s eyes, but she closed her eyes as she spoke again. “...It just got worse after that. And nothing came from them. We were all starving, trying to get by, and then… Then…”

She opened her eyes and blinked in realization. She’d mentioned her family to Xavier before, but she’d omitted one very important detail. And now that she was getting to that part of the story, she wasn’t sure how to bring it up with Xavier. Suddenly, she found her mind getting stuck again.

“...It was Ciro,” she eventually said quietly. Her tone was anticlimactic as the words fell from her mouth. “That summer, it was him. My… My brother.”

Elin suddenly squeezed Xavier’s hands tightly. “He was seven, only seven. I-I was so sure he’d make it. But the sun was too much, and he collapsed, and we did everything we could do, but…”

Elin closed her eyes tightly, her hands beginning to shake. She found herself forcing back tears. No, ‘Woo no, I thought I could make it through! She lowered her head she tried to recollect herself.

“...He died a few days later,” she muttered.

For a second Xavier could only stare at her, his eyes widening. She’d never spoken of this before, had never even mentioned the name Ciro or the fact that she’d had a brother around Xavier. That she’d been carrying this pain with her all this time…

“Oh, Elin,” he said quietly. “I’m so sorry…” Without hesitating further he leaned in and wrapped his arms around her, seeing the tears starting to form in her eyes and wanting nothing more than to comfort her. For a moment he didn’t say anything, just holding her close.

Elin briefly didn’t move in response to the hug. She was focused on trying to get a hold of herself. But with the memory taking firm hold at the front of her mind, and then the warmth and pressure of Xavier’s arms around her, comforting her… She fell into the hug and threw her arms around him, letting her tears fall. She pressed herself into Xavier for some time, not speaking, just trying to get a hold of herself again.

“...I had to see it myself,” she muttered finally. “All of it. I was there when he collapsed, and then when… he…”

She pressed her head into his shoulder, deciding not to finish the sentence. “I-I’ve kept it to myself, mostly. Tried not to talk about it. A-after the Coronation, I-I wanted to tell you. But then whenever it came up, whenever I thought of it…”

Her brow creased. “I hate thinking about it. B-before, I used the thought as f-fuel for- for the Shadows, when I started it, when I kept going... I-I wanted to get back at the nobles, and to ensure none of that ever happens to anyone else. And… And now it’s calm but it’s so confusing. And before that, people still died.” Her voice cracked on this. “And the nobles are still...”

Elin clung tightly to Xavier, not wanting to let go, as if he were acting as an anchor to her thoughts.

Xavier reached up to stroke her hair, leaning his head against the top of hers. “I wish you didn’t have to go through that,” he said, his voice nearly shaking. “To lose someone like that… what the famine did to your family…” It wasn’t right at all. Just because the nobility of Kyth didn’t literally own the lives of the lower classes didn’t guarantee that they would use their power well. “I - I don’t know if it’s possible to change everything, or to prevent any more suffering like that, but… you’ve changed so many things. You’re doing so much good.” His arm tightened protectively around her back. “I know it doesn’t always feel that way, though,” he said, his voice dropping to a murmur. “When you can’t bring back someone you cared about.”

Elin let herself rest in Xavier’s grasp, taking in deep breaths as he comforted her. She didn’t speak for a moment, trying to rein in her tears again. But the topic at the forefront of her mind made it hard for her to calm down entirely. So she continued on anyway.

“...It’s not fair what happened to him,” she murmured. “He deserved s-so much better… I know it’s too late for him, that he can’t- can’t come back, but… I wish it didn’t have to be that way. I wish what I did could actually bring him back.”

She took in another shuddering breath. “But I am glad for what I’ve done. What the Shadows have done, what we’re doing with the Council now… Everything. I know Ciro can’t be the only one who was… was…” She gulped. “It’s so… different than before, though. I know it’s better, and that we’re in a better position now, but…”

She turned her face up to look at Xavier, her face damp and her eyelids reddened with the tears she shed. “...It always feels like I should be doing more. Everything I can to make sure the peasants have better lives, that no family is neglected like we were. ...Like he was. And I know it’s the first month, but… It still feels slow.”

Tenderly Xavier brushed a few strands of hair out of her face, looking earnestly into her eyes. “The peasants have a voice now,” he said softly. “Because of you. I can’t think of a greater gift than that.”

Looking into Xavier’s eyes and hearing his soft voice seemed to ground her, and though she was silent for a short moment, her mouth tilted up into a slight smile in spite of her tears. “That’s… That’s right. A-and that’ll help keep anyone else from this… If we can…”

She paused at this, looking contemplative. “...I couldn’t do it by myself. I don’t think I’d have gotten far at all if I did. And the others, most of them… They were great help. Some of them became good friends…”

And then she trailed off again, her trace of a smile fading from her face. The clashes of the Bloody Coronation entered her mind once again, and for a moment, she remembered her daze prior to when she truly got involved in the battle, and the bodies she saw…

She freed a hand to wipe the tears from her eyes, which had resumed their flow. “...A-and some of them… Died helping us. When the Coronation came, and I saw them, I… I wanted to stop peasants from dying, but s-some still did. People, Shadows… Friends… W-who weren’t even…” She swallowed, her voice quiet again, uncertain of how much she should go on, given Xavier’s grief over Muriel. “It just... It haunts me, what happened.”

“It’s not your fault,” Xavier said firmly, keeping his arm tightly encircling her. “I’m… I’m so sorry they died, Elin… but I don’t think anyone would want you to blame yourself. You did everything you could, you did more than some people would’ve imagined possible.” He stroked her hair gently to comfort her, letting his fingers trail through the dark strands. “They were… they were fighting for something they believed in, just like you, weren’t they?” he said. “I don’t think any of the Shadows would regret doing that, especially with the way things turned out in the end.”

Elin shut her eyes as she contemplated Xavier’s words, feeling slightly calmed at the gentle pressure of Xavier’s hand on the back of her hair. She thought of the Shadows who died, what they had done, how they had jumped at the chance to volunteer…

“...They did believe,” she mumbled in agreement. “Th-They knew the risks. And most of them didn’t seem to mind. Even if they weren’t expecting what happened… And I was still sending them…” Her grip grew firm at the thought, and she reminded herself to not squeeze Xavier too hard. “I wish they could’ve lived to see our work pay off as it did. They deserved that, after everything.”

She shuddered. “...But Kelcey and Ciro… They weren’t fighting for anything. Kelcey was being dumb, and Ciro… he wasn’t even...” She paused pressing her head further into Xavier’s shoulder. “I-I’ve been told to focus on helping Kyth, rather than dwelling. And I have, a-as much I can… But I still keep thinking of the people responsible for those deaths, especially the ones still out there, still alive, still... I can’t help it. I-I just… I hate them so much.”

Xavier hugged her tightly, one hand gently resting on the back of her head. “I know, and no one can blame you for that,” he said softly. He knew that feeling of helpless, grieving hatred, that a terrible injustice had been done to someone he loved and the one responsible had not suffered for it. “It’s… it’s okay to cry for them, Elin. You don’t have to keep everything buried, it’s… One person shouldn’t have to bear that.” He stroked her back, a slow, rhythmic movement. “And if you ever want to talk about them, I’ll listen, I’m here.”

“Thank you...” she mumbled, still leaning into Xavier, closing her eyes. “I-I always thought that… If I was doing something about it, that I… That I wouldn’t need to cry, or that I’d just… stop feeling like I had to. I-it did work, at least a little. But then after the Coronation, I… I don’t know, I…” She let out a sigh. “Maybe I was wrong. About not talking about it. …’Woo, I tell people to talk about what’s wrong with them, just as I want you to, if you need to talk. ...Maybe need to start telling that to myself too.”

She was silent for a moment before letting out a hollow, choked laugh, and she wrested a hand free to wipe her face of tears again. “‘Woo I’m a mess. You… You probably didn’t expect this at all when you went up the stairs of the Keep to see me, did you? I… I should’ve been more open to you earlier. About everything. I’m sorry.”

“No, if you needed to talk to someone… I’m glad I could be there.” He shifted slightly so he could meet her eyes, smiling slightly. “I always want to be there for you, Elin. I… I know what it’s like to keep everything bottled up inside, and… you’re the first person who ever really made me feel safe enough to talk about it, a-and I want to be that person for you too. If that’s what you want.”

Staring into his eyes, Elin smiled through her tears. “Of course,” she said softly. “Talking to you about it… I-it helped. I-it’s still there; I don’t think it’ll ever go away. But it feels a little… easier now. Thank you. I-I’ve mentioned this to my Auntie before, but she wasn’t involved, so it… It helped too, but it just wasn’t the same as… as this. ...And I’m glad I can help you too. I… I like this.”

She leaned forward, placing her forehead against his. “And I want to be more open to you. There’s still more I haven’t said, things that aren’t even secret. Most of them I don’t think I’m even hiding on purpose. Just being in the Shadows for so long, back when the crown was against us… It became a habit. But it’s not a habit I need anymore.”

Xavier smiled ruefully. “It’s a hard habit to break,” he said quietly. “I - I think ever since I escaped Courdon, I was just running and hiding… it was hard to stop. Even around someone I trusted, like you, or Ilsa… b-but it’s getting better, and - and maybe we can help each other.” He brought his hand up to gently stroke Elin’s cheek. “I… I love you, Elin, I want to make you feel safe. Anything you want to tell me… I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

The look on Elin’s face softened. “You already help me feel safer. I love you too.”

She leaned in and planted a kiss on Xavier’s lips before drawing back, taking comfort in his embrace. She was silent for a long time, listening to the lapping of the water of the lake and the beating of Xavier’s heart. Her tears had slowed, and eventually, before too long, they had stopped. A quiet, pensive moment had passed before Elin spoke again.

“Even before the Coronation, there was so much I wanted to tell you about. ...I didn’t know why I wanted to share so much with you at the time, but looking back… It’s clear now.” She gave a brief smile to Xavier as she said this. “But then there was still much I couldn’t say without recruiting you into the Shadows. And the night the Jades found you…” She hesitated, as if she realized where the conversation had taken her. But maybe it was okay; they were going to be more open with each other, and he deserved to know. “...We were going to try to recruit you that night too. But we couldn’t find you.”

Xavier’s eyes widened. “You were? I didn’t realize…” He let out a soft shaky laugh, looking down at the ground. “If you’d reached me… I’d wanted to help you, even once I realized you were a Shadow. I didn’t know if they could all be trusted, but I knew I could trust you.” He glanced up at her, smiling ruefully. “I don’t know if I would’ve been brave enough though. All the things you and the other Shadows did, fighting for what you believe in… I want to say I would’ve said yes. But I… I don’t know.”

“Xavier,” Elin started quietly, “If I didn’t think you were ready for it, we wouldn’t have gone after you. You’re braver than you think. You stood up for me when Duval first came and I ran out there. And you should’ve seen yourself when you confronted him during the Coronation. I really think you have it in you.”

She let out a small, rueful smile. “Not that it wouldn’t have been dangerous. It always had been, until we were pardoned. I think you would’ve been a good member, and I… I’m sure you could’ve learned to trust the other Shadows... But some time before, I-I’ll admit I hesitated. Even after you got used to Medieville and I got to know you better, I was worried about the risk and something bad happening to you.”

She paused before letting out a small laugh. “When I put it that way… ‘Woo, I should’ve realized so much sooner how I feel about you.”

Xavier leaned his head against hers, briefly closing his eyes. "I know. I didn't realize either... I'd never felt like this about anyone before. And even once I did realize, I didn't dare hope that you'd... that we'd..."

He trailed off, smiling at her softly and shifting his hand to stroke her cheek.

Elin found herself staring into Xavier’s eyes once more, and she couldn’t help but maintain her smile. “...I’m so glad we did, though. That we’re doing this. And that we figured it out... eventually.”

She let out a small laugh as she finished, leaning against his forehead and basking in his presence. She felt more at peace now. Not completely normal, she could still feel her emotions raw inside of her, but it was still… better, in a way; more manageable, now that she had her moment of catharsis. It still felt odd to her, letting out so much in so little time. But her only regret was not saying anything to Xavier earlier as it built up in her mind. Now she supposed that later, she would sleep it off…

A realization hit her and she looked up at the sky, realizing it was nighttime. “Oh ‘Woo, I completely lost track of time,” Elin said. “Auntie’s probably since been expecting me. ...Don’t get me wrong, it was worth it. I’m glad to spend this time with you, finally talking to you about this... But I probably shouldn’t be out much longer without at least stopping in.”

She moved a hand up to her face, noticing that it felt raw… and probably looked raw too. She smiled ruefully as she broke away from Xavier. “Ah… hang on. My face is a mess.”

She walked over to the water’s edge and began to splash her face with water. She doubted it would be enough to make her look normal, but she hoped it would be at least enough to clean it of tears.

“I’ll be in a better mood next date, I promise.”

Xavier smiled fondly at her. “I hope so. I mean - I want you to be happy, Elin… b-but if you need to cry that’s okay too. I want to help you.” He hovered behind her as she finished washing her face. “I can walk you back to your aunt’s, if you want to.”

Elin looked up, giving a small smile as she reached up for Xavier’s hand. “I’d like that.”

She stood up, but she didn’t start walking right away, instead standing and feeling the grip of his hand in hers. The fact that he stuck with her through her breakdown and the way he listened to her… She should not have been fearful about telling him, she realized. Not for someone who would go out of his way to help her, and would show such affection towards her. Or maybe she wasn’t afraid of telling him, and she was more fearful of breaking down about it again, whether or not it was in front of him...

Either way, he’d been there for her. As he always was.

“I’m glad you’re with me,” Elin said fondly. “And… I’ll try to be more open with you about this. When I can, when it comes up. I don’t know how good I’ll be… But I’ll try.”

Hand-in-hand, they began to walk back together. As they did, Elin found herself sticking close to Xavier, not due to any fear of traveling through the city at night (she didn’t have one), but because it was comfortable being by his side. Especially so after her raw display of emotion that he took understood and accepted. She knew the thoughts may come back and continue to weigh heavily on her mind, just as they had before. But it was another reminder that she didn’t have to hide it like always. Especially after she had to face it so many times again and again.

She still wasn’t sure if she could ever fully accept what had happened… But at least there were those close to her whom she could trust about it. And for that, she found herself--amongst the rest of her emotions--grateful.

Indelible Marks

SPOILER: Click to show

Dusk had settled upon Medieville, the torrent of rain lashing at the rooftops and echoing throughout the King's Arms Inn, with thunder occasionally rumbling in the distance. The inn wasn't too crowded; most people didn't want to brave the weather to the inn, while those who were already there decided to stay, postponing their journey home in the rain. Most of the customers who came were people passing by who wanted to get out of the rain, and they bought food or drink while they were inside.

The Ryers were among the people huddled inside the inn. They had originally gone over to visit Ilsa as a way to spend some free time from their jobs and to warm up from the coming autumn chill, but the rain made them decide to stay longer. After all, there were friends enough conversation to keep them content until they to make their way through the rain anyway to get home. They settled themselves with food and drink, with Clare nursing a beer and Elin sipping a cup of tea as they conversed with each other, Ilsa, or other patrons. (Elin was still refusing any offers of alcohol, with the memories surrounding the event last spring still fresh in her mind.)

After Elin had finished her tea, she stepped away briefly to wash up. On the way back, she had scarcely made it through the doorway when she stopped. She saw Xavier standing by the bar and saying something to Ilsa—Elin couldn't catch what—before making his way to the bedrooms of the inn. Elin would've smiled at the sight of him if it weren't obvious that Xavier was drenched.

Ah 'Woo, how long was he walking out in the rain? Elin wondered. He passed by her without noticing her, and Elin thought for a minute before walking out to follow him. After a trek like that, Elin was sure he could use a friendly face. Besides, she hadn't seen him all day, and she wanted to say hi.

Xavier had walked into one of the rooms of the inn before Elin could catch up with him. But he had left the door open a crack; the hallway to this wing of rooms was empty except for Elin, and he probably hadn't heard her coming.

Well, no time like the present to make herself known. She quickly closed the distance between her and the doorway before knocking lightly on the door and nudging it open.

“Xavier, I saw you come in, are you--?”

She stopped as she realized what she had done, and her eyes went wide with shock at the sight of Xavier with his shirt off. Of course he was changing his clothes, Elin; what else would he have been doing? she berated herself. But it became half-hearted as she processed just what she was looking at.

Xavier had never taken off his shirt in front of her; he was always so self-conscious about it. And now Elin could see why. His back was marred with an array of scars, scattered and interlacing over each other, too many for her to count even if she tried. Elin knew that Xavier must have had scars besides his brand, but this... this was so much worse than she had ever imagined.

For a moment, her impropriety was forgotten as she stared in horror. “Oh dear 'Woo, Xavier...” she nearly whispered.

Xavier visibly jumped at the sound of her voice and spun around, clutching tightly at the wet tunic he’d just peeled off. His face was white - not merely embarrassed, but almost scared, as if she’d caught him doing something far worse than changing his clothes. “E-Elin,” he managed, clutching his tunic to his chest as if to shield himself. “I d-didn’t realize - didn’t hear you come in - I’m sorry, I’m sorry you had to see that, I…” Automatically he took a step backward, and stumbled as his foot hit the leg of a table.

Elin winced and moved to Xavier, grabbing his shoulders to keep him from falling. “No, no, I shouldn’t have barged in like that. I-it’s not your fault, It’s not…” No, it was someone’s fault. Her fault for barging in, sure, but she could guess quite well where the scars had come from. The image of the scars kept flashing in her mind, knowing they were still on his back, knowing that her hands were close to them even now… She felt anger burning inside of her, and she found it difficult to not swear aloud. She only managed it when she really took in Xavier’s cowering form, and concern took over once more. But it couldn’t completely misplace her anger.

“Xavier… How could anyone ever do that to you? How can they have done that and still sleep at night?”

“I- I didn’t want you to find out like this,” Xavier stammered out, unable to meet her eyes. “I… didn’t want you to find out at all.” He tried to shrug out of her grasp, stepping back away from her again, still clinging to his tunic. “I’m sorry, Elin, I’m not…”

He trailed off, unsure how to even finish that sentence. He wasn’t anything she should want; the scars were a disgraceful reminder of that. Even if he was no longer a slave, he would never get rid of the marks his past had left on him. And no matter how many times she reminded him that she wanted him anyway, it didn’t get rid of that ugly, creeping feeling that she shouldn’t. Maybe she wouldn’t, now she’d seen what he looked like.

Elin’s hands lingered in the air as Xavier shrugged himself out of her grasp, and for a moment she could only stare, a hurt expression on her face. “You… were going to hide this forever? But…”

She trailed off, pondering for a moment how to continue before she remembered that the door was open. The hallway was empty when she came in, but if anyone else came… The situation was awkward enough without the company of… anyone else. So she moved and shut the door, leaving the two of them alone in the room, before turning back to Xavier.

“Xavier, you don’t need to be sorry; it’s not your fault, it’s never your fault for what they did to you,” Elin insisted. “...But please, you don’t have to hide from me. I’m not going to turn you away for this.”

“I know it’s… it’s foul,” Xavier muttered, avoiding her gaze. “What it looks like - you don’t have to pretend.” He’d only ever had glimpses of his own back in his reflection before, but he’d seen scars on others. And he didn’t have to see it to know how it felt, the disfigured, stiff skin on his back. How could she ever want to touch that? To touch him?

Even facing her, with his back not visible, he felt exposed and self-conscious. There were only a couple of scars on his chest, not nearly as severe as his back, but he found himself trying to cover himself with his arms all the same. Even without the scars he was too skinny, too bony, too broken next to her, and he could feel her eyes on him anyway. He bit his lip, staring at the floor. “Please, Elin…”

Elin could feel her heart breaking as she watched him shrinking and attempting to hide himself from her. She still found her hand lingering in the air, wanting to approach him and put her hand on his shoulder in comfort, but not wanting to risk him shying further away. She didn’t know what to do. This had to be a long-standing issue, one that lingered in his mind for so long. It explained too much, so much about him, so much about some of the events in their relationship… She wondered if it had acted as a barrier in their relationship in the past without her knowing. Whether or not it had, how it was affecting him… It wasn’t right.

“I… I won’t pretend to like it,” she started. True, it did mar his appearance, and she knew she wasn’t going to get anywhere if she lied to him about that. “...But it doesn’t make you foul. If anyone’s foul, it’s the ones who gave you those scars.”

She risked taking a step closer and tried to catch his eyes again. She tried to smile too, but it came off sadder than she intended. “Please… It’s not going to drive me away. Especially not after this long.”

Slowly, Xavier’s arms dropped to his sides, letting his soaked tunic fall to the floor, though his posture was still hunched and wary. “I want to be… pleasing to you, Elin,” he said slowly, letting himself meet her eyes. “And… I’m not. I’m not even whole.” Despite the conscious effort to be open with her, to let her see him, his left hand crept up almost reflexively to close around his brand. “When I’m with you, I - I don’t think about Courdon as much. You make me feel like I’m… worth something. But these…” His fingers clenched on his upper arm, making his pale skin turn even whiter. “Th-they’re never going away. I’m always going to look like that. And you…” He looked down at the floor again, flushing.

“...And I can get used to them,” Elin said softly, taking another few steps closer to Xavier. “I… I figured you had some scars. It was just first seeing them…” She shook her head before slowly raising her arm, gently placing her hand over his hand covering the brand, but ready to retract it in case it wasn’t wanted. “You are worth it, though. You’re already worth so much, and you mean so much to me. This… doesn’t change that. You’re already…” For a moment, she trailed off. She wasn’t sure what exactly he meant by ‘pleasing’, and she didn’t quite know how to feel about it. But she chose not to press it for the moment, instead saying: “You can still be whole, even if you have scars.”

Xavier’s breath caught as she stepped closer, her hand warm and reassuring over his. There was nothing but genuine compassion in her eyes, and hard as it was to believe she actually meant what she was saying - well - perhaps she did. It was far from the first impossible, wonderful thing Elin had told him. “You - you really still want to touch me,” he said quietly, his voice barely audible. After searching her face a moment, his eyes dropped again. No matter how she looked at him, it was difficult not to feel shame. “It’s not that I don’t trust you knowing about this,” he said. “I’m just - I’m sorry I’m so… unsightly. I didn’t want to look like that for you, I didn’t want you to have to see all of… this.” He bit his lip. “I can’t change it. But when you didn’t know, at least I could pretend.”

Elin sighed. “Xavier… You couldn’t have hidden it from me forever. ...And I don’t want you to pretend with me. The scars…” She brushed her hand over Xavier’s again. “...Like you said, you can’t change them; you can’t help it. And they don’t change how I feel about you; you’re still the Xavier I know and love. ...And you know? You’re not ugly. You may have scars on your back, but everything else is… You’re stunning..” She gave a small smile, reaching her other hand up and brushing it gently against Xavier’s cheek. “...Really, I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.”

Xavier flushed, but he didn’t pull away, raising his eyes to look at her again, letting his gaze linger on her face. “You really see me like that?” he whispered. He shifted his hand on his shoulder to grasp her hand instead, squeezing tightly. “Elin, you’re… you’re so much more than I deserve,” he said, giving her a small, sad smile of his own. “I want to be worthy of you, and there’s so many things that tell me I’m not, but you… you still never turn me away.” His voice shook slightly. “You never have.”

Elin moved her hand so she could squeeze his hand back. “Of course I wouldn’t. I care about you. You’re the kindest and most caring person I’ve ever met; you always have been, and not just to me. You’ve always been there for me when I needed you, when you could, even when I haven’t been my best. You really listen, and I can tell you really mean everything you say about me.” For a brief moment, she smiled, but then it faded as she stared into his eyes, a sad look in her own. “So I know you really mean it when you say you don’t deserve me. But after all that... how?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Xavier said softly, the ghost of a smile playing on his lips. “How you can love me when I’m so… when I’m broken, and you’re strong and kind and beautiful and you could have anyone else you wanted, someone without the scars and the brand and- and everything else.” He paused to catch his breath, recovering from the torrent of words that he’d not quite intended to let loose. “It’s not that I doubt you,” he said softly, his cheeks reddening as he let his gaze drop. “And I’m sorry you have to keep telling me things like this, it’s just-- just-- this, with you, sometimes it feels too good to be true. Like there’s been a mistake, and sooner or later you’re going to realize that I’m j-just…” He felt suddenly, keenly aware of his brand, and it was all he could do not to reach over and touch it again - whether to hide it from Elin or draw her attention to it, he wasn’t sure.

Elin reached her free hand over to smooth it over Xavier’s hand, the look on her face sad as she tried to look into his eyes again. “Xavier, it’s been… two years? And we’re still going. There’s no mistake. I could have anyone else, but I don’t want anyone else. And…” Both of her hands enclosed around Xavier’s. “I know; you’ve been through so much. I know where this is coming from. And it… it breaks my heart. But believe me, you’re not just your scars and the brand; there’s so much more to you than that, so much more that I love. And if you could see yourself, just what you do, how you talk to people, what you do for them, and what you mean behind it, as a whole… I’m sure you’d see someone so worthwhile. I know I do.”

Slowly Xavier lifted his head, tears in his eyes as he met Elin’s gaze. “I don’t always… believe it,” he said shakily. “That I’m worth anything. But… I believe you. And I know you’d never lie to me.” He tried to smile, tremulously, his fingers tightening on Elin’s hands. “Th-thank you,” he said, more unsteadily than ever. “For not giving up on me. It… it helps.” Moving closer, he let his head drop onto Elin’s shoulder, taking another deep, shaky breath. “You help.”

Elin freed one hand from Xavier’s grasp to bring her arm around his shoulder, holding him close. “I’m glad,” she said quietly. “It’s a long road, but… I don’t feel like I can give up on you. And I don’t want to. Not when I know how much you mean to me, how much you’re worth, everything you do, so much you’ve done for me… And the days when I see you happier. It’s all worth it. You are worth it. Try telling yourself that more, even when you don’t believe it.”

Her hand absentmindedly moved down as she talked, and she felt her fingers starting to travel over the welts on his back. It was still unusual to her, feeling so many of his scars laid bare, previously covered by his clothes to hide one of the many things that had been keeping him back. But she kept moving her hand across his back anyway. Those welts weren’t going away, and neither was she, so she figured she may as well get used to feeling them.

At first, Xavier tensed, a slight shiver running across his skin at the feeling of her gentle fingertips on his back. Though the scar tissue on his back was less sensitive than the rest of his skin, he was so unused to the sensation that it was hard not to flinch. He’d been beaten, struck, and whipped more times than he could count; he couldn’t remember baring his back to anyone without it being followed by pain - but this, foreign as it was to him, was not unpleasant. Slowly, he relaxed in Elin’s arms, closing his eyes as he nestled his head into her shoulder. She didn’t seem bothered by the feeling of the scars under her hand, her fingers tracing gently over them just as they sometimes did over his clothed back.

He felt so safe with her. Stronger.

“I’ll try, mei ziel,” he breathed, not wanting to move and break this strange, new contact yet. “For you, I’ll never stop trying.”

The brief anxiety that Elin felt upon Xavier’s tension disappeared when he visibly relaxed, and she gently pressed him even closer with her hand and tentatively added gentle pressure to his back, wanting to give more comfort but not wanting to risk hurting anything. She gave as much comfort as she can, relishing in the moment before turning her head and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

“Good,” she said softly. “And for yourself too. You’re wonderful, and you deserve to have a good life and be happy.” She turned her head to look into his eyes. “I’ll get used to the scars. I promise.”

Xavier’s eyes softened as he looked at her. “You’re amazing, Elin,” he murmured, and leaned in to give her a second, longer kiss on the lips. “I love you.”

Elin returned the kiss in full, and even when they broke apart, her faces remained close. “I love you too,” she said with a smile. It only intensified when she studied his features and realized that he had relaxed, at least a little. Her heart warmed seeing it, and she was filled with hope. She knew that no matter what Xavier said and thought about himself, that this happier Xavier was still there. There and possible to bring out, even if it took some coaxing and some support to help him see his own worth. To Elin, for this and everything else about him, her efforts were always worth it.

Slowly, she began to lower herself and Xavier so that they were sitting on the edge of the bed, not quite ready to go back out into the more public areas of the inn. She merely rested her forehead against his as she continued to feel his back. It was still nothing she was used to, and it would some time before she wouldn’t touch the scars and feel anger at the enkis who did this to him, something they didn’t need in a sentimental moment like this. But she promised herself that she would try. That was not just a promise to Xavier; it was one to herself as well.

After a moment of silence, something occurred to Elin, and she looked into her beloved’s eyes. “Xavier… Earlier, you said something… mei ziel, I think it was?” she said softly, slightly stumbling over the words and uncertain if she was saying it correctly. “What does that mean?”

Xavier blushed slightly. “It’s…. Courdonian, it-- in Kythian, I think you’d say ‘my heart.’ S-something like that,” he murmured, looking away self-consciously. He did not often slip into Courdonian, and though he had grown used to saying affectionate things to Elin in the language she knew, there was something strangely vulnerable about letting those words slip out.

“Oh,” Elin said, her face feeling warmer as the meaning sunk in. “That… That’s so sweet.” A warm smile grew on her face, she freed one arm from around his shoulders and put her hand to his heart before looking up at him again, giving him another quick kiss on the lips. “Mei ziel,” she tried again. Her Kythian accent was strong but this time, the words sounded right, and full of love.

The sound of her voice speaking those words, Kythian accent and all, put a small, not unpleasant flutter in his stomach. He always spoke Kythian with her, considered himself Kythian in most ways that mattered, and being with her made it easier to forget the past… but…

It wasn’t only forgetting. The past was indelible, it had left its marks, and Elin loved him anyway. She loved who he was, and not just who he’d tried to become since living in Kyth. Nothing Courdon did, nothing he still carried, could change that. He smiled, his eyes brightening as he looked back up at her. “Always,” he said in Kythian, letting his accent bend the word more strongly than normal. He didn’t have to hide it around her. She’d understand him; she always did.

Breaking the News
(This story takes place several years after the end of canon.)

SPOILER: Click to show

Xavier was still not quite used to coming home - at least, not the fact that he had a wife and a house of their own to come home to. But the novelty was not entirely a bad thing; it still made him smile every time he walked in the door, that this was his life now. Their life, something they had built together.

"Elin, are you here?" he said, walking through the cottage in search of her. He wasn't sure if she'd be back yet by this time.

Elin's face peeked out of the kitchen, and she beamed at the sight of him.

"Xavier, good, you're here!" she called. And she hurried over to him before taking his hand, bringing him closer to a pair of chairs, which were moved close to each other and near a table. "I'm making some tea right now; it should be ready really soon." She motioned for him to sit, still smiling despite her hand trembling slightly.

Xavier smiled at her, although there was a faint look of worry in his eyes as he felt her hand shaking. "Thank you, that sounds perfect." He sat, still holding onto her hand, and then hesitated. "Elin... i-is everything okay?" His eyes met hers, searching her face with concern.

Elin put her other hand on Xavier's shoulder. "I-I'm fine, really," she assured him, still speaking faster than usual. "I-I just... Just want to talk about something for... For a--"

The sound of water whistling ended her train of thought. "Ah, that'd be the tea," she said. "Here, I'll go get it. I'll be right out."

Elin gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder before heading back into the kitchen.

"I- okay," Xavier said, his worries not entirely assuaged. He leaned forward as Elin left, watching her go into the kitchen, and clasped his hands nervously in front of him. She wouldn't lie to him, but something had to be going on...

Then again, her smile when he walked in, nervous though it was, had been genuine - not the smile of someone trying to hide that they were upset. The thought did make him feel slightly better, and the tension in his clasped hands eased.

A few minutes later, Elin walked out of the kitchen, mugs of tea in her hand, the smell of chamomile wafting in the air. She gently handed one to Xavier. "Should be well steeped by now," she said. "You should have a bit first."

She sat down in the chair opposite of him and began to take a long sip of tea for herself. She drank slowly, taking it in and attempting to calm herself down, preparing herself for what she was about to say.

Xavier took it, blowing gently on the liquid before taking a sip. He watched Elin carefully but didn't say anything yet, patiently waiting for her to bring up the reason why she had sat him down like this.

A minute passed before Elin finally put down her mug on the table beside them, and waited for Xavier to finish a sip before leaning forward and taking one of his hands gently in hers. "Xavier," she started. "Not too long ago, I found something out. Something that... That..." She paused, pondering the best way to go about her speech. "I-it's good news. I, I..."

She took a breath. "Probably best if I just say it." She brought her other hand forward, gently moving his hand to set down his mug before clasping both of Xavier's hands in hers. She smiled at him. "Xavier... I'm pregnant."

"You're--" Xavier's eyes widened. "That's--" Rendered temporarily speechless by the news, all he could do was grip Elin's hands even more tightly. Despite his shock, however, the way his face lit up left no doubt how he felt about the news. He smiled at her, his eyes glistening with tears.

"We're going to be parents," he breathed, as if he didn't quite dare to say it aloud. "Elin..." There he broke off, and had to pull one of his hands away from hers so he could wipe his eyes.

Of course he'd known they would probably start a family one day. They'd even talked about it. But now that it was actually happening... he realized he'd never quite believed it would, that this was an experience he'd get to have. And the reality was very different from the dream; he couldn't even begin to fathom the changes this would bring in their lives. He'd only barely begun to adjust to the reality of being married. Suddenly overwhelmed by trying to process it, he had to duck his head and try to collect himself, swiping furiously at his eyes.

Tears reached Elin's own eyes as she watched Xavier's reaction. He'd reacted pretty much as she expected, but that didn't mean she was fully prepared emotionally. She felt heartened at his happy reaction, and she pulled him into a deep hug to allow him to rest his head on her shoulder. She'd let him take all the time he needed there.

"A family of our own..." she murmured softly. "We've still got a few months to figure it all out. And then... I know you'll be a great father."

Xavier nestled his head against Elin's shoulder and put his arms around her in return, taking a deep shaky breath. It was almost too much to take in just yet, but he had her. They were in this together, every step of the way. "I hope I can be," he said softly. "I never thought I'd..." He trailed off, gulping back tears. It took him a couple more moments to collect himself enough to say what he was thinking.

"Our baby is going to grow up free," he whispered, almost reverently, hugging her more tightly. He'd never have to worry about his child being taken from him, or suffering and being neglected the way he had. And that was something he would never take for granted. He only hoped he could live up to this new responsibility, that he'd live up to Elin's faith in him.

Elin smiled as she rubbed his back, letting her own tears fall. "They will," she agreed. "They'll be free, and they'll have a good home. A good life. We'll give that to them; we can."

She turned her head slightly. She didn't want to break out of the hug quite yet; he was warm and soft, and it was much too comfortable. So she compromised and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Xavier smiled as she kissed him on the cheek, letting his eyes close for a moment as he held her close. A child of their own... He'd never even had a family before Kyth. And he'd certainly never had anything close to this kind of responsibility. He'd never been like Muriel, someone strong enough and brave enough to protect the younger ones.

He took a deep shuddering breath, turning his face in against Elin's shoulder. "I don't know if I'll be very good at this," he confessed quietly, his voice slightly muffled. "I don't know anything about... about children. Having a family." Gods, he wanted to do this right. For her sake, for their baby's.

Elin leaned her head onto Xavier's, smiling. "I know you. You're kind, caring, considerate... and not just to me. I'm sure you'll care for them well."

She paused. "I know what you mean, though. I'm nervous too. I've babysat kids before, but raising them... We'll have to do our best, and take the problems as they come. ...All the same, I was thinking of asking around for advice, contacting people, writing my mother..." She freed one hand from the hug to put it to her abdomen, although she had not yet begun to show. "So that we can learn as much as we can before the baby comes."

Xavier nodded, taking a deep breath. "We've... got friends, family, people who will help." It was still hard to remember sometimes that he really wasn't alone, that he had others to support him - and not even just his wife. The thought made him smile in spite of himself, thinking - they'd get to tell those friends and family the good news, soon. He was already looking forward to Ilsa's reaction.

He turned to kiss Elin on the cheek. "Maybe we'll be okay," he said softly. "And there's... there's no one else I'd rather share this with."

His and Elin's child. He had to repeat the phrase in his mind. His and Elin's. Theirs. Despite his nervousness about the prospect, he couldn't help but feel a small thrill at the thought of that.

Elin grinned as Xavier kissed her cheek, and she turned to look at him, a soft expression appearing on her face. "I feel the same way. I want to make this happen with you. With everything we have, I'm sure we'll be able to do this. And I... I can't wait to meet our baby."

The prospect only made her smile more, feeling even more ecstatic. She couldn't deny the work they had to do, but they could do that over time; not tonight. For now, she wanted to celebrate with him. She leaned in, this time kissing Xavier on the lips. "I love you."

Xavier returned the kiss, shifting to wrap his arms around her more securely. Even when he pulled back, enough to look into her eyes, he didn't let go. "I love you, too," he said, smiling affectionately. He loved seeing her like this, so happy that it lit up her eyes. At times like this, he was fairly sure he could handle anything as long as Elin was there with him.

Because whatever else happened, they were together, they were going to have the family they'd been hoping for. And for once in his life Xavier Lynn could not wait to see what the future held.

[Gelquie]

(Reserving this post in case of overflow)

[Elcie]

We wrote a new thing! *pokes top post* It's canon and happens several years after the events of Medieval.

[Gelquie]

And we have another fic! It follows directly from our first and untitled fic. It's also collaborated with Tiger!

[Elcie]

A new collab is up! "Reaching Out" is a follow-up to "Tense Inquiries," about a month later - it seems Elin's not the only one who's been keeping magical secrets!

[Gelquie]

New fic is up! "First Impressions", which happens about two years before the events of Medieval, details how Elin and Xavier first met.

[Gelquie]

We have a new fic! It's titled "Confiding". It happens a month after the end of Medieval. Seems like Elin's having a bad day... At least.