Post by Allison on Jan 5, 2014 20:31:21 GMT -5
So in the "Mini Gloats 2" thread, I mentioned that I was now a "frequent visitor" but that almost all my posts are in the games forum. I also suggested I should venture beyond just the games a bit more, and mentioned a story I'd written years ago that I was reminded of by one of the games. So I decided to post it. This shows my adventures in shopping for clothes and shoes as a very small adult. Pixie, I think you'll be able to relate.
Looking at my "to-do" list for the day, I let out a groan. Shopping. Now, shopping in and of its self isn't too bad. Grocery shopping isn't too bad, I could lose myself for hours in a bookstore, and I'm still waiting for kids so I can have an excuse to spend an hour at the toy store. It's clothes shopping that is my sworn enemy. As I look at the list, every item falls into this category.
I trudge my way to the car and drive to the local mall. The first item is a new pair of jeans. Well, that shouldn't be too hard. All I have to do is find the section with the big crayons as decorations. You see, I am shorter than about ninety-five percent of the adult female population, so I still get to shop for my jeans in the kids' department! Yay!
I remember once the cashier explained the exchange policy. "If your child wears out the jeans before she outgrows them, the store will replace them for free!" she explained excitedly.
"I'm pretty sure the policy doesn't apply if the person wearing the jeans is over the age of twenty-one and no longer growing," I snapped. That shut her up pretty quickly. I paid for my jeans and looked at the next item on the list: dress pants. Since these are a bit more form fitting than jeans, I have to move over to the petite department. So far, I have only found one brand of pants that works well for me, and even then, only if I buy size zero or two petite short. Now let's see here... size zero, petite, and short. Let me check with my mathematician friends.... Yes. I'm pretty sure that rounds to "small to the third power." "Small cubed," if you'd like. After scouring the racks and looking at every single label, I finally find the correct size. I try them on, just to make sure, and discover I'll still have to take them up an inch or so. Thus is the life of a twenty-something year old in the body of a twelve-year old.
Next is a dress shirt. This proves to be another formidable challenge. For, while I may be stuck in the body of a twelve-year-old, the body has some extra... bulk in a rather... strategic place. Even in the petite department, unless it's a knit top that stretches, it will fit in the shoulders, but not "down below" or it will fit "down below" but not in the shoulders. Yay. After searching every store in the mall, I finally find something that will fit... in the last store. It's always in the last place you look, isn't it?
The last things on my shopping list are shoes. One pair of tennis shoes and one pair of dress shoes, to be exact. Most members of the female half of the species love shopping for shoes. I am not one of them. This is another area where all I have to do is look for the large crayon. I wear a size two in shoes, or a two-and-a-half if I'm lucky. It's quite depressing to see shoes with cartoon characters on them in my size. They don't exactly promote the "mature" look I'm going for. Neither do shiny black dress shoes with straps across them. Now, I realize that pink and even purple are very popular colors for shoes, even in the women's sizes. For me, however, they just make me look younger than I already look. To add insult to injury, in some stores, my shoe size is listed under the "preschool" section. Great. Maybe when I'm a preschool teacher, I'll just ask the kids where they shop for shoes. Well, to make an excruciatingly long story short, I did finally find some shoes that weren’t shiny and black or pink and purple with flowers and cartoon characters on them. However, it took me six hours.
While I may have trouble finding clothes I like which look good on me, I do have one comfort. I am made in God’s image. He must have a sense of humor. Even if people look at the outside of a person, the Lord looks at the heart.* For that, I am forever grateful.
*******
Author’s notes:
*Scripture taken from I Samuel 16:7
But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
***************************************
The Long and Short of It
by Allison Egley
by Allison Egley
Looking at my "to-do" list for the day, I let out a groan. Shopping. Now, shopping in and of its self isn't too bad. Grocery shopping isn't too bad, I could lose myself for hours in a bookstore, and I'm still waiting for kids so I can have an excuse to spend an hour at the toy store. It's clothes shopping that is my sworn enemy. As I look at the list, every item falls into this category.
I trudge my way to the car and drive to the local mall. The first item is a new pair of jeans. Well, that shouldn't be too hard. All I have to do is find the section with the big crayons as decorations. You see, I am shorter than about ninety-five percent of the adult female population, so I still get to shop for my jeans in the kids' department! Yay!
I remember once the cashier explained the exchange policy. "If your child wears out the jeans before she outgrows them, the store will replace them for free!" she explained excitedly.
"I'm pretty sure the policy doesn't apply if the person wearing the jeans is over the age of twenty-one and no longer growing," I snapped. That shut her up pretty quickly. I paid for my jeans and looked at the next item on the list: dress pants. Since these are a bit more form fitting than jeans, I have to move over to the petite department. So far, I have only found one brand of pants that works well for me, and even then, only if I buy size zero or two petite short. Now let's see here... size zero, petite, and short. Let me check with my mathematician friends.... Yes. I'm pretty sure that rounds to "small to the third power." "Small cubed," if you'd like. After scouring the racks and looking at every single label, I finally find the correct size. I try them on, just to make sure, and discover I'll still have to take them up an inch or so. Thus is the life of a twenty-something year old in the body of a twelve-year old.
Next is a dress shirt. This proves to be another formidable challenge. For, while I may be stuck in the body of a twelve-year-old, the body has some extra... bulk in a rather... strategic place. Even in the petite department, unless it's a knit top that stretches, it will fit in the shoulders, but not "down below" or it will fit "down below" but not in the shoulders. Yay. After searching every store in the mall, I finally find something that will fit... in the last store. It's always in the last place you look, isn't it?
The last things on my shopping list are shoes. One pair of tennis shoes and one pair of dress shoes, to be exact. Most members of the female half of the species love shopping for shoes. I am not one of them. This is another area where all I have to do is look for the large crayon. I wear a size two in shoes, or a two-and-a-half if I'm lucky. It's quite depressing to see shoes with cartoon characters on them in my size. They don't exactly promote the "mature" look I'm going for. Neither do shiny black dress shoes with straps across them. Now, I realize that pink and even purple are very popular colors for shoes, even in the women's sizes. For me, however, they just make me look younger than I already look. To add insult to injury, in some stores, my shoe size is listed under the "preschool" section. Great. Maybe when I'm a preschool teacher, I'll just ask the kids where they shop for shoes. Well, to make an excruciatingly long story short, I did finally find some shoes that weren’t shiny and black or pink and purple with flowers and cartoon characters on them. However, it took me six hours.
While I may have trouble finding clothes I like which look good on me, I do have one comfort. I am made in God’s image. He must have a sense of humor. Even if people look at the outside of a person, the Lord looks at the heart.* For that, I am forever grateful.
*******
Author’s notes:
*Scripture taken from I Samuel 16:7
But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
