Believing in Immortality

[sollunaestrella]

This is a series that I wrote. The first part is my rejected Christmas story altered so it’s not quite so Christmassy. It’s kind of depressing and maybe overly dramatic—please tell me if you think I am—and I’m afraid it might get a little cheesy in some parts. Any suggestions, editing, etc. will be much appreciated. Anyway…yes…here it is, and please help me if you can!

Part One--I Heard the Bells
<p>“So what if I don’t fit in?” I yelled. “That gives you no right to turn me out on the streets!”</p>
<p>”I’m not turning you out on the streets,” Mummy said coolly—too coolly—she didn’t care; I could tell from the calmness that was spread thickly like butter over her voice. “You have to go to the Pound.”</p>
<p>I nearly choked trying to keep down the lump of despair rising in my throat. What difference did the Pound make? It would be easier just to run away and turn myself out on the streets. The chilled flame of my name, CoolFire1134, spread into my eyes, but the cool melted and left me with a burning rage. However, that fury soon morphed into a deep, deep sadness.</p>
<p>I growled and tried to put on the air that I did not care; it was fine with me because I didn't want an owner who would abandon me, anyway. However, I realized in horror that tears were about to betray me and spill smoothly down my furry cheeks. Before they appeared, I gave out one more convincing (I hoped) growl and fled from the room.</p>
<p>I raced out the front door of the NeoHome, Mummy chasing after me in an effort to explain.</p>
<p>“CoolFire, you’re a male yellow Wocky!” she yelled after me. “I want another pet for your brother. He wants a sister, and all he has is brothers, and—well, someone has got to give.”</p>
<p>I pretended like I was ignoring her; I did not turn my gaze to her. I thought of the many times I had begged her for a sister. She had never done anything about it. Now, she was abandoning me to gain for someone else what I had wanted for my whole life: a companion.</p>
<p>I had grown up in that family. I was the oldest pet of the bunch. I was Mummy’s very first. I guess she just got bored with me.</p>
<p>You see, after being born, I begged for a brother or sister, and I got a brother. We got along worse than a Chia crippled by a Lupe and a Lupe infamous for his hunting skills would get along together. It was bad. We fought every waking moment, I fought with him in my dreams, and, since we both hungered for companionship, another pet was created. It was another bad match for me, but the perfect friend for my other brother. I decided that maybe it was a sister I wanted, so I asked Mummy, who maybe heard me wrong or wanted to torture me. Whatever she wanted to do to me, she brought home a baby brother who liked to bite.</p>
<p>I stood on the curb, the nipping wind ruffling my fur, as I thought depressing thoughts. I was alone, and I knew it.</p>
<p>Mummy couldn’t turn me out of my home; I was leaving of my own free will.</p>

<p>I wandered quietly through streets covered in snow, it’s pure white tainted with the presence of creatures and the thirst of the earth, and I sighed. Stopping short in front of a choir of joyous, happy carolers that seemed intent on keeping Christmas all year, I suddenly thought that the snow was I; I was the snow, ruined by the world and all those around me. I shook my head. Why was I so depressed? Millions of pets must be disowned every day, and I had never had a happy home. Shouldn’t I be happy? I was free--or had I always been like this?</p>
<p>I turned my face away from the choir and frowned. I knew that although the happy song of peace that the group sung had been brought to Neopia from Earth, they thought it applied to Neopia as well. When I looked down at my tired, dirty paws, I suddenly felt old and weary. As I walked, my paws left soft prints in the newly fallen snow. I watched them as they covered up, scarcely leaving a trace of my presence.</p>
<p>Terror suddenly struck me. Was that really all I was? Was I just a small, depressed Wocky who will exist and then be washed away, having never left any imprint on the world? I suppressed the wail that nearly evaded me, and my eyes filled. I left the carolers in a trance, stuck in the future and past, dwelling on the events that had not yet happened and those that had contributed to where I stood then, my heart full of terror and sadness. My tears fell, my weeping silent and empty of sobs, and I huddled against the post office in fear and a sense of impending doom. They stopped, and I curled up, thinking of my misery.</p>

[sollunaestrella]

<p>A snowball whacked me on my side. I whirled around. I had thought I had found a place devoid of others and their happy songs, but a sweet voice rang out behind me. A happy face grinned at me as it peered around the corner. It was a Huggy. My eyebrows plunged into a deep V and my lips curled into a glare, but I soon relaxed at the terror on the poor PetPet’s face.</p>
<p>”What’s your name?” I asked, trying to sound kindly.</p>
<p>“Jaji,” the Huggy replied. “You?”</p>
<p>”CoolFire1134,” I answered. “Just CoolFire. Or Fire. Whichever.”</p>
<p>“What about Cool?” Jaji asked.</p>
<p>”Yeah, sure, whatever,” I mumbled. “Where’s your owner, anyway? And was that you singing?”</p>
<p>”Don’t have one and yes,” Jaji said promptly and eagerly. “I’m a wanderer, bringing cheer to everyone I’m near….</I>”</p>
<p>”Be quiet,” I growled as Jaji lunged to embrace my unwilling soul. “I have no happiness and I don’t want it. I don’t like happiness. Not one bit.”</p>
<p>”Taking a sort of Grinch approach, I see,” Jaji snickered. “As if you don’t like to be happy. What a ridiculous, preposterous, outlandish, unbelievable, outrageous, silly idea. Everyone likes to feel the ecstasy that comes with all good things—things like—well, all the greatest gifts in the entire universe!” The Huggy’s eyes lit up and he started dancing.</p>
<p>“Like abandonment—running away—sadness—doom—meaningless existence—like those are all the greatest gifts in the entire universe!” I spat. “Look, Jaji, I have no ‘bliss’ or ‘delight’ in my spirit. I never have. The world is a bitter, dark place full of terrible, hateful, evil people.”</p>
<p>Jaji stopped dancing and glanced up at me.</p>
<p>“Of course those aren’t the greatest gifts,” he said as though I had hurt him. “They’re not even gifts at all. I mean real gifts—friends, family, giving, love, joy, mercy, compassion….”</p>
<p>“Those don’t exist in my world,” I angrily interrupted, then, to my embarrassment, burst into tears. I found myself explaining my predicament and pouring out my soul into this bouncy, surprisingly sympathetic little creature.</p>
<p>When I had started to reveal myself, he had listened intently. When I was finished, he slowly began to sing the beginning of the second verse of a Christmas carol I had just heard, partly from him, and partly from those carolers down on what used to be my street.</p>
<p align=”center”><I>”And in despair, I bowed my head,
‘There is no peace on Earth,’ I said,
‘For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of peace on Earth, good will to men.’”</I></p>
<p>I nodded.</p>
<p>“Well,” Jaji said softly, “That isn’t totally true. Be joyous!”</p>
<p>He left me, probably hoping the message would sink in.</p>
<p>Suddenly, I realized it and called out, “Wait!”</p>
<p>I emerged from the corner of the post office, and I guess what I did then was a little strange. I was a depressed Wocky, after all. Instead of acting as one, I turned into a Huggy. I ran up to the little guy and embraced him hard. He had, after all, given me some hope and something good to look for, even if I still held a grudge against the world.</p>
<p>Without a word, I released. We held each other’s gaze for a few seconds.</p>
<p>Then, I turned and walked off, going in search of that something, that glimmer of pure gold, still left somewhere in the world, and I realized it: there it was, surrounding me. The excited, happy expressions on every Neopian’s face, the snow, the children laughing, the loving glances everyone gave to one another, the happiness. The ecstasy that Jaji had described!</p>
<p>As I continued walking, in awe of everything around me, I could feel Jaji’s eyes still on me, piercing me with their gaze, and I knew it:</p>
<p>I had finally found a friend.</p>

[sollunaestrella]

Part Two--Facing the Flame
<p>I huddled against the wall, hoping in the depths of my heart that the owner of 137953 Wishing Well Drive would not mind that I was staying in the garden. Frozen wind stung my eyes and pierced my thick yet unaccustomed fur. The Wind Phantom whisked the snow, commanding it to do his bidding as he flew through me murderously, so bitterly cold and aloof to my existence that its gentlest touch, which was extremely austere, nearly burned me. It reminded me of my own name of CoolFire1134.</p>
<p>As I peeped through the gaps in the Rowzez, snow that looked more like powdered sugar than laundry flakes came down in torrents. As I looked up at the sky, however, the wisps of silver were not the source of these flakes. The Wind Phantom whipped the sugar so violently that it looked as if the cookies it was going to make would give enough energy to run twenty laps around Grundo’s Gym with a mere bite.</p>
<p>I shivered and tried to cuddle down into soft soil. The biting snow’s sting was all I got as a reward.</p>
<p>Suddenly, I heard chattering and footfalls.</p>
<p>“Oh, it’s so cold,” murmured a voice, and I peered through the bush again. A girl with brown hair and glasses was walking alongside a blue Aisha. The blue Aisha had spoken.</p>
<p>“We’re almost home,” said the girl. “Don’t worry, SunStar. We’re here.”</p>
<p>To my horror, they turned in at the place that I was. In a panic, I popped up out of the Rowzez and attempted to scramble away.</p>
<p>“Oh!” the girl shrieked. “Oh, come back…come back here! You look cold.”</p>
<p>The girl chased after me and did not catch up, but at her last sentence, I stopped abruptly. She seemed friendly enough….</p>
<p>“Well, yes, I am,” I mumbled, staring down at my front paws.</p>
<p>“Come on,” she said invitingly, and I followed meekly. Could this be an end to my waiting?</p>
<p>To my despair or joy, I surveyed that this wasn’t an end to my waiting. In addition to the blue Aisha, the family consisted of a blue Shoyru, a starry Peophin, and a blue Gelert, so there was not any room for me. I wasn’t sure if this was the right place for me, anyway.</p>
<p>“Soully! Dream!” were the first words I heard when I entered the NeoHome. “That’s two times your usual daily damage today.”</p>
<p>The hallway that I entered was in total disarray. Various items littered the floor, from emptied cartons of KauKau Farm milk to globs of super strong hair gel. I shrank back, but the girl invited me into the kitchen, where she gave me some doughnuts and borovan that was most welcome.</p>
<p>“I’m sol_luna_estrella,” she said. “Erm—you can call me anything you like—Sol, Luna, Estrella.…” she flicked her wrist. “You’re welcome to stay here for as long as you need to. It’s a little tight, but I’m sure someone will be willing to share his or her bedroom if you need it, and we have plenty of food. Have another doughnut.”</p>
<p>I hesitantly snatched a sprinkled doughnut and sank my teeth into it. The sweetness spread over my tongue as water might seep into a sponge.</p>
<p>Suddenly, I heard snarling.</p>

[sollunaestrella]

<p>“Soully, what are you <I>doing</I>?” yelled the voice of the blue Shoyru. “<I>No</I>! Not SunStar’s expert bow…you couldn’t ruin that….”</p>
<p>Luna sprang up from her chair and peeked out of the room.</p>
<p>“I’ll be right back,” she groaned and disappeared out the door.</p>
<p>I exhaled loudly, letting all the tension out of me. The kitchen was cozy, warm, and friendly. I wiggled in the chair and took another bite of the doughnut. Fyora, was it good.</p>
<p>“Okay…now that we have that settled,” Luna breathed as she walked cheerfully into the room. “I think it’s time for introductions.”</p>
<p>I gave my head a quick jerk. These pets scared me.</p>
<p>The blue Aisha said, “I’m La_Estrella_de_Sol. SunStar.”</p>
<p>“I’m Listillo,” said the blue Shoyru simply.</p>
<p>“Ilusión_de_las_Risas,” smiled the starry Peophin. “Dream.”</p>
<p>“StoutSoul,” the blue Gelert said boldly. “Call me Soully.”</p>
<p>I nodded and replied shakily, “Hello. I’m CoolFire1134. Just call me CoolFire, or Fire, or Cool. Whatever. Any way works.”</p>
<p>I shrugged.</p>
<p>“Okay! CoolFire, make yourself at home. I have a few more errands to run. Anyone want to come along?” Luna asked cheerily.</p>
<p>Soully quickly volunteered.</p>
<p>They left, and I was all alone with SunStar, Dream, and Listillo. The absence of Luna and Soully was keenly felt; Soully, apparently, was the “havoc-wreaker” of the family, with Dream as his partner in crime. Dream, however, seemed perfectly harmless when Soully was not around.</p>
<p>Dream was like a typical Peophin and surveyed me from afar. Her shy smile made me feel uncomfortable; Peophins always made me uneasy. One of my brothers had been a Peophin. Although we did not argue, he merely ostracized me by ignoring me.</p>
<p>Listillo, however, was totally different from the average Shoyru. He was an angry sort and reminded me of myself: caustic and sarcastic, but deeply caring and sensitive. I wanted to start a conversation with him, but I knew I couldn’t while we stood in the kitchen, facing off, the ineptness of my social skills bursting forth against my will to paint my shyness in the very air. It was SunStar who finally broke the silence.</p>
<p>“Welcome,” she said softly, and I took an instant liking to her. Her face held an extra glow, and I knew she had welcomed me immediately before she let the word flow from her lips.</p>
<p>My head was reeling.</p>
<p>“Thank you,” I replied feebly.</p>
<p>“You may have my room, if you like,” SunStar said.</p>
<p>“I appreciate it.” I looked down at my front paws.</p>
<p>The awkwardness overwhelmed me, so I was glad when all three pets started to stalk away.</p>
<p>“I’ll give you a tour,” SunStar offered, but I declined; I would rather explore on my own.</p>
<p>I gave the kitchen one last look as the three pets left me, who was gobbling down each wonderful detail with my eyes. I prowled about the rooms for a little while before finally settling down in the living room. The fireplace was alive with dancing, singing flame. I comfortably sat down beside it, the bursts of warmth bathing my face in sweat and a dead glow. It felt good to stay in such a homey place, I thought.</p>
<p>I wouldn’t think that for long.</p>
<p>I soon lost myself in thought. The flames impishly played and intertwined, encouraging me in my reverie, and I soon heard nothing else but the beating of the fire and the whisper of my thoughts. I didn’t hear SunStar’s paws as they padded on the floor. She approached me softly.</p>
<p>“You—you’ve suffered,” she said quietly. “Yes, you have—I can see it in the way your eyes are devastated, strong, knowing…old.”</p>
<p>I turned my head. Her voice had not, surprisingly, startled me. I watched her as she moved toward me and settled, finally, beside me. She sat and her eyes bored into the flame as mine had.</p>

[sollunaestrella]

<p>I remained silent after her remark, and I merely pierced the intangible flame with my old eyes.</p>
<p>“I want to help you,” she said at last. “But I can’t. I just can’t. Yet I wish I could….”</p>
<p>I couldn’t think of anything to say to that. I wanted help, but I knew I was too proud. Help is of no—help—with the terrible pride that courses through your veins, preventing you from wonderful things.</p>
<p>“I wish you could stay with us. We aren’t for you, though, and our NeoHome is too small to accommodate all six of us. You don’t fit in with all of us, as much as you fit in with me.”</p>
<p>Tears suddenly materialized in my old eyes. I would not cry; I would not cry. I couldn’t even identify why I wanted to cry….</p>
<p>“I want you to go and find your home,” she said in a slightly shaky voice. “You have a place somewhere…somewhere…somewhere. You will find it; I want to help you. You will find it….”</p>
<p>She sounded almost delirious.</p>
<p>“And it is not with me. So you must find it on your own. You must face your problems. Use your wise instincts. Use the power of your love—pride—hope—renewed zeal for life—and you will find your place in the universe.”</p>
<p>“I won’t,” I said hoarsely. “I won’t. I’ve found it…I’ve found it….”</p>
<p>“It’s not here,” SunStar whispered. “Much as I’d like it to be. Go now. Find it.”</p>
<p>I trembled as my outstretched paw started to pierce the air. It finally rested tentatively and uncertainly on SunStar’s shoulder. Her squinted eyes looked at me with odd understanding and knowledge as if they were reading my very soul. They <I>were</I>. They were looking into my heart.</p>
<p>I nodded quickly. I could not cry.</p>
<p>Slowly, I turned around. I dared not look back; what would be the use? It would only depress me further.</p>
<p>I would not cry.</p>
<p>The door suddenly creaked open and slammed, giving me quite a jolt. Luna strode in, Soully trotting happily behind her.</p>
<p>“I’m leaving,” I mumbled.</p>
<p>A terrible word, leaving is. It sounds so unbound—limitless—free. Yet it only imprisoned me further, and the weight of the chains of the nomad were clasped about my calloused paws. I felt them keenly, then as they dragged my spirit—my ruined spirit—to the depths of melancholy.</p>
<p>I slipped through the open door without any further words, and I could not see what I thought must have been a bewildered, wild look on Luna’s face. To my dismay, I nearly felt the urge to laugh. What was so comical about my situation was something that I could not fathom, but quietly, the Wind Phantom shrieking about me, pinching my skin, I ambled away.</p>

[sollunaestrella]

Part Three—The Doubt of the Glorious

<p>The Wind Phantom had become sickly, and I knew he was on the verge of death. I had been staying in a burrow that I had dug myself in an effort to get warm, and the little hole had done very well for me. Its tightness was endurable although uncomfortable, and as I crept out, finally confronting the shivery chill that bit the air, I felt a triumph that I had never felt before. I had embezzled victory from the clutch of the Storm.</p>
<p>It was dawn, and the delicate artistry of the sunrise whirled its pastel colors in my eye. I shuddered of the sheer beauty of it; it inspired a despairing but not altogether unpleasant emotion in my soul. It made me feel insignificant and small and reminded me of my quest for love. It reminded me…of SunStar.</p>
<p>Quickly, I ducked my head and started to walk briskly. Where was I going? Nowhere in particular. I was only running from my thoughts; I was running from my spirit. My paws swung rapidly as they carried me along gracefully, seeming to know exactly where they should be going.</p>
<p>I finally arrived on the outskirts of Neopia Central. There was a little shack—it couldn’t even be called a NeoHome. Curious, I stepped toward it and opened the door a crack. Peering in, I saw—</p>
<p>Jaji.</p>
<p>I hastily shut the door and sat. Could it really be my friend—the first friend I ever had—my cheery little friend? With an inward gasp, I realized something. I heard—wails. Forcing back my desire to weep, I peeked in again.</p>
<p>Jaji was crying.</p>
<p>I slid into the building and sauntered quietly over to Jaji.</p>
<p>“Jaji,” I said, my voice nearly a whisper.</p>
<p>The sobs that were arising from Jaji’s throat evaporated.</p>
<p>“Oh, it’s you, Cool,” he whimpered. “I’m glad you’re here. I need to ask you some—some things.”</p>
<p>I kept quiet expectantly.</p>
<p>“First, how—how can you deal with your loneliness?” he asked. “When you have no one—no one to even think or dream of—how do you cope?”</p>
<p>“I’m not in that position anymore,” I said slowly, realizing it for the first time myself. “I—I have someone to think of. Two someones.” A half-smile intruded my face as I remembered SunStar. “Yet—before I did—I thought of my bitter, angry, and unhappy feelings, which I guess got me nowhere. So I don’t know what to do.”</p>
<p>Jaji stared at me, then turned away.</p>
<p>“And what did you do--before you found these someones—to overcome the oppression Neopia gives us?”</p>
<p>“I never did,” I replied quietly. “I never have—and I still may not, by times.”</p>
<p>Jaji looked up at me, then stood.</p>
<p>“Remember the greatest gifts in the universe,” he said suddenly, and the twinkle was welcomed back into his eye.</p>
<p>“Friends, family, giving, love, joy, mercy, compassion,” we said together, him laughingly and I pensively. “And many more,” he added.</p>
<p>“Friends, family, giving, love, joy, mercy, compassion,” I repeated, “and many more.”</p>
<p>I suddenly knew. I knew what it was that I was meant to do.</p>

***

<p>And to this day, I have been doing that very thing. I am still lonely, and I often feel pangs of depression, but despite that, I know that I can make a difference in Neopia by sharing my story and bringing the message of friends, family, giving, love, joy, mercy, compassion, and many other things into everyone else.</p>
<p>And although it is commonly known that pets cannot die, I know otherwise. And I have found my immortality.</p>

[sollunaestrella]

Heh...yes, I know it's pretty long for one sitting....

[pichuthegreat]

good that is a times story for sure

[sollunaestrella]

pichuthegreat said:

good that is a times story for sure

Thanks.

[sollunaestrella]

I sure hope it is--I'm sending it in now. Since Issue 75 is supposed to be very special, I have no expectations. I do kind of like the story, though. I like the fact that it has a moral.

[calvinseviltwin]

Good luck! It's really well written!

[sollunaestrella]

calvinseviltwin said:

Good luck! It's really well written!

Thank you.

[calvinseviltwin]

sol_luna_estrella said:

Thank you.

YOu're welcome