"Switching Sides"

[fudgie]

I awoke to what I thought was the sound of my alarm clock. Then I realized what time it was-midnight. What I really woke up to was the sound of war. This had been going on for about a week now. Half of Neopia has been fighting day and night, night and day. I jammed my paws into my ears to try and drown out the noise. I could hear my sisters pet Meowclops, Vandifi, crying in her sleep. My sister was out there fighting. She sure was brave.
I scooped up Vandifi and my Snowbunny, Sugarbun, and placed them at the end of my bed. I comforted Vandifi and fell back asleep….

This time, I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock. I yawned and climbed out of bed. I put on my school uniform and walked into the kitchen.

"Breakfast's ready, Fumboa!" My owner/best human friend told me.

"What's it today Ash?" I asked. I call her Ash, but her name is really Ashley. My stomach was growling.

"Bacon and toast!" She answered with her usual smile on her face. I groaned. It had been the same breakfast for almost a month now.

I sat down at the table and my two other siblings (who weren't fighting) and their petpets joined me. I quickly gulped down my breakfast and was out the door. I had to be careful, to avoid where Neopians were fighting. It looked gruesome out there. I hurried to school; afraid that someone might think I was part of the war. My best friend, who was an Aisha just like me, Strawberryspice was waiting for me on the school steps.

"I've been waiting forever Fumboa! We're going to be late!" She yelled at me.

"Sorry! I guess I got sidetracked..." And we walked to our homeroom class. We had five out of six classes together this year, and were happy about it. Mrs. Barkwood was lecturing us <I> again</I> about where to out commas in a sentence. I looked behind me. Jermy0280 was snoring. I snickered; think how he was going to get into trouble.

"Jeremy! Wake up this instant!" Roared Mrs. Barkwood.

"Uh… What're are we doing?" He asked sleepily. The class was laughing.
----

It was lunchtime. Potatoes and chicken, my favorite school lunch! I was about to sit down when Jessi59 came running into the cafeteria.

"Fumboa! Fumboa!" She yelled, "The principal wants to see you!" I hear some kids going "Ooh... someone's in trouble!" I got up and slowly walked to the principals' office. I turned the doorknob, my heart racing rapidly and entered.

"Sit down please, Fumboa." The principal said. Ashley was standing next to him. My sisters were standing with her. Their eyes were wet with tears.

"Fumboa. .. Fumboa, oh Snow's been captured!" Ashley managed to tell me before bursting into tears.

"What?! What do you mean captured?!" I asked.

"She's been captured by the Darigan army!" I was in total disbelief.
----

"When we got home, I ran, sobbing, up to my room and slammed the door.

"Vandifi! Snow's been captured!" I yelled at her, tears in my eyes. I could tell she didn't understand a word I said.

I threw myself onto my bed still sobbing. I felt helpless. I didn't know what to do. But right now, Snow was probably more helpless than I felt. I just had to do something to help my sister!

I leapt out of my bed, and started shoving things into my backpack. I was going to rescue my sister!

I ran out of the house and down he road. I stopped- I didn't know how in Neopia I was going to get to the flying Citadel!



---
Whatcha think about it? It's my 2nd story I've actully gotten up onto the computer.. Heh. (The next post will have the rest of it. It's over 5,000 words, so they wouldn't lemme post it!!

[fudgie]

DOH! I'm a Faerie Aisha! I thought to myself, banging hard on my skull. I can be stupid sometimes, especially when I panic. I looked up. There! I saw it. Dark clouds were crowding up all of the sky. I heard thunder in the distance. I started flapping my wings. I was getting closer and closer.

BANG! I hit what appeared to be an invisible force field/wall.

"Oh great!" I yelled, and then sighed. "Now how the heck will I save Snow?!

<I> "I can tell you how to get to your destination…" A low creepy voice whispered in my ear. I spun around. It looked like a cloud of mist. Then it started to take form. It was a very very old draik.

"H- how?" I asked in disbelief.

"I have the sword that can cut through anything and everything." He told me breathing heavily. He handed it to me. "Beee carrrrrfuuuuul!" He yelled, and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

I took the sword. It was very heavy. I almost dropped it. With all of my strength, and with my wings beating furiously, I slashed where I thought the barrio was. I cut a hole big enough for me to fly through. I put the sword into my backpack, in case I would need to use it again.

I started flying towards a sign that said 'Guests…' Mutated looking Neopians kept zooming past me, staring with a blank expression. I was getting closer and closer to the building then… WHAM!! Something hit me, and suddenly the world went black.

I woke up drowsily. I was in a strange place and was scared. I looked at my surroundings. It looked like I was in a normal, everyday basement. Two Ixi came clomping down the steps.

"Why have you come to the kingdom of Lord Darigan?" The older one asked.

"I've come to rescue my sister! Now let me go or I'll, I'll-" I was cut off.

"You'll what little Aisha?" The younger Ixi asked with a smirk on his face.

I started to talk, but the older Ixi put up his paw o his mouth signaling for silence. "Before you say anything, we have something to tell you."

"The Citadel used to be a beautiful, luxurious, prosperous land, much how Meridell is today. We never had disease or poverty. But then-on a sunny beautiful day, that foul and evil King Skarl sent a few of his soldiers to steal our orb, that protects our land from turning into something mutated and disgusting. We tried to rescue it, before the soldiers had a chance to run back to Meridell, but they slipped through our grasp! Now, we're only trying to get back what is rightfully ours!" He said powerfully.

--
Still too long. BLAH!

[fudgie]

I sat there thinking about what he just said, absorbing it into my mind. "But why can't you just put the orb on the barrier of Meridell and Darigan's kingdom?" I asked.

"Do you think we have not thought of that Aisha?" He spoke with anger in his voice. "The orb will only give it's powers to the kingdom it is placed in. If it's on the barrier, its powers will not work!" He calmed down, and sat down.

"You're sister came here, as soon as she became aware of these facts. We did not kidnap her." The younger one explained.

"Let me see her then!" I yelled, feeling eager to see her.

The Ixis clomped back up the stairs, with me following at their heels. When we got out of the house, we walked for about a mile. I was getting exhausted.

We came to a small cottage. It was different from the other buildings we passed, not quite as ugly. We rapped on the door.

Slowly, the door opened. It was Snow! I ran up to my sister and hugged her. I noticed that the cottage smelled like crusty mustard.

"Aww sis! I thought something REALLY bad happened to you!" I told her feeling very happy.

"Of course not silly! You guys shouldn't have been so worried!" She said. "Come on in. This is where I'm staying for a while. Those two Ixis helped me rent it.."

We walked inside Snows rented cottage. It was actually pretty nice, except for the smell.

"So, are you going to come with me, so Ashley and our sisters won't be worried anymore?" I asked.

"Why, of course! Just not until Darigan gets back their orb!" Snow answered.

I stared at her. "But why? Can't you just come home?! It doesn't seem like you're contributing much!" I yelled. I forgot that Snow had always been very stubborn.

"You just don't understand!" She said meekly.

I turned around and told the Ixi to take me home. I too am very stubborn.

The younger one started digging in her vest and then pulled out some sort of powdery substance.

She threw it over me and Snow. "Farewell young ones!" He called. I shut my eyes and started feeling dizzy.
----

When I opened my eyes, I was in my bed, my room, my home.

I leaped out of bed and ran too Snow's bedroom. She was lying there snoring. I shook her and she woke with a jolt of panic that quickly went away.

"What is it Fumboa? I was having a really good dream!" She said mumbling. I wondered if it was just a dream.

"Don't you remember anything?!" I asked her.

"Like what?" She was confused.

"About Darigan! The war! Switching sides." I exclaimed.

"Uh…not really. I'm not planning to even fight for the war…." She said still confused.

"Never mind…." I started walking back to my room.

"I guess it was really just a dream." I said talking to myself. I glanced out my window. Peaceful. Like always. I turned around and picked up Sugarbun. She winked at me. Did she know something I didn't?

If it really was a dream, it surely seemed very real. I sighed and walked downstairs. I had nothing to worry about. For now, anyway.

--
K, thats the rest of it. XD

[calvinseviltwin]

Nice cliffhanger ending.

[sollunaestrella]

I don't have time to read it all as I have an essay I have to write for tomorrow (yay procrastination!) but upon reading the first few paragraphs, I could say that you could play around with the syntax of sentences here and there. Go for a little sentence variety. For example:

"Half of Neopia has been fighting day and night, night and day. To try and drown out the noise, I jammed my paws into my ears."

Almost all your sentences in the first paragraph begin with the subject, which makes it sound flat and boring.

From what I've read, it's good, though!

[fudgie]

Thanks for the replies:) I'm only in 6th grade( Wow, isn't that suprising?) so bear with me.. XD