Post by Deleted on Feb 7, 2003 12:35:21 GMT -5
I wrote this tory and it didnt get, in. what do you think was wromg with it, Feli said it was tooo... cant think of the word. Basicly too much sexual intent. Any help?
Across The Seas And Back My Love.
By Rishiy
Mika walked slowly down the narrow Neopian street, dragging his small feet. A solemn tear rolled down his orange cheek. A page from the Neopian Times blew by, it caught against his leg, he picked it up and slowly read the words:
NEWSFLASH: Thyassa and Carassa recently voted Neopia’s Cutest Couple.
Mika saw red, in a fit of rage, he tore the article to shreds.
“Carassa was mine, and I will get her back!” The Chia vowed.
On the other side of town Carassa gazed out the window. A Chet Flash lovers parade marched by. She was thinking of Mika, of all the times she had spent with him. But those days were over now, and she had felt neglected when Mika got his job in the ice cream factory. And the way Thyassa had swept her off her feet! He obviously knew what she wanted.
“Come on honey! Being voted Neopia’s Cutest Couple isn’t all fun you know.” Thyassa called over. She let out a sigh and returned to the photo shoot.
“What should I do Barney?” Mika asked the wild looking chomby. He may have looked lethal, but he had a heart of gold.
“Well if you ask me, which you did. Go round there, tell her how you feel. She’ll understand.”
“But she’s with a celebrity now! I can’t compete with that! And anyway, she doesn’t want me. She chose fair and square. Maybe this whole thing is a waste of time.” Mika said, shrugging it off and trying to convince himself.
“Well, what ever you say, it is your life after all.” Replied Barney, swinging his long tail.
“Your right, I’ll give it one last try.”
“That’s the spirit. Go gettem tiger!”
“That a wrap darling. Fabbo, just fabulous!” Shouted the photographer as he finished the last take.
As everyone packed up, Thyassa turned towards Carassa. He looked into her eyes, and for a moment, she knew that this was wrong. But all her thoughts were piled on a dusty shelf as he produced a ring from his pocket. Her eyes welled up with tears.
“Carassa Chia, will you …” He was cut short by her reply.
“Oh…yes I mean no…” Tears stifled her reply. “I mean, what about Mika?”
“Oh forget the batty old fool, it’s about us now.”
“Thyassa! Watch your mouth; he was my closest friend you know.”
“I know, but he’s gone now, so what do you say?”
“Well, ok then.” She let out a short laugh and dabbed her eyes. More tears streamed down her face.
A month later, Carassa was standing outside of a chapel, bells were ringing every where. News crews were covering the star studded event and Thyassa was mingling with the crowd. But Carassa’s thoughts were with times gone by. She remembered when she and Mika used to talk of marriage, like it was some distant journey, like it was a silly ritual, for people unsure of their love. But now she was here doing it, and she saw how spiritual and binding it was for two people who wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. She knew she was ready for it. But was she with the right Chia?
The bells began to play a faster jollier tune, people started ushering the poor, young pet into the church, and before she knew it, she was in front of the priest. He was crawling through his speech at a steady pace like a bad actor reads a new script. He suddenly got to the words:
“If anyone has reason for these two Chias not to join in holly matrimony speak now or for ever hold your peace.”
The tension in the room could be cut with a knife. But as the priest slowly and quietly counted down from three, it eased up and h continued with the sermon.
In the street next to the church a car skidded round the corner. Mika leaped out and vaulted the rest of the way. He arrived at the church door panting. I got ready to go in, he had perfectly timed it so he would stride in, chest puffed out, right when they said the line. He got ready to go in. Right before he threw open the door he caught a piece of what the priest was saying:
“You may now kiss the bride!” Everyone cheered. Mika cut off from the world. He entered a spiral of disbelief. He had nothing to live for. He had just lost the one thing that meant most to him in life.
“I – I’m too late!” He stuttered. He was drowned out as the congregation piled out, cheering and hooting, and into the coaches going to the reception. As they speed away, Barney came and placed a hand on his shoulder.
“Come on, I’ll take you home.”
At the reception, Thyassa clambered up onto the table to make an announcement.
“People, people! Carassa and I have talked, and have decided we will combine my latest adventure with our honey moon. Wish us luck on our trip around Neopia!” A huge roar went up. But Carassa was far away from it all, thinking, once more of Mika.
A week later, on the shuttle launch pad, Carassa and Thyassa were preparing to embark. Suddenly a loud racket arose at the gate. A broad smile grew across Carassa face as she saw who it was. Barney and Mika were fighting off the guards. It began to rain.
“What are you doing here?” She asked still in shock.
“I came after you of course. When I saw you at the wedding, I knew you were too special to let go.”
“But I’m married. I’m going on my honey moon. Talk about shabby timing.”
“Carassa, I would travel across the sea and back to be with you my love.”
Tears ran down Carassa face, mixing with the rain and streaking her face. He cheeks turned red. She looked up into his deep, brown eyes. She remembered all the times she shared with Mika and Barney and their countless other friends. She remembered the laughter, and the songs, and the saddens. She remembered how they comforted her when she was low, and shared her glory when she was high. She looked out at the beach and the city below. She looked at the world she would be leaving behind. It wasn’t spectacular, but it was home. She knew who she wanted to be with.
She turned to Thyassa and took off the golden ring he had slipped onto her finger that day in the studio. She placed it at his feet. She turned. I’m sorry she said, before walking off with her best friend, and the Chia she loved. A tear rolled down Thyassa cheek and splashed on the wet ground, before becoming one with the rain.
Across The Seas And Back My Love.
By Rishiy
Mika walked slowly down the narrow Neopian street, dragging his small feet. A solemn tear rolled down his orange cheek. A page from the Neopian Times blew by, it caught against his leg, he picked it up and slowly read the words:
NEWSFLASH: Thyassa and Carassa recently voted Neopia’s Cutest Couple.
Mika saw red, in a fit of rage, he tore the article to shreds.
“Carassa was mine, and I will get her back!” The Chia vowed.
On the other side of town Carassa gazed out the window. A Chet Flash lovers parade marched by. She was thinking of Mika, of all the times she had spent with him. But those days were over now, and she had felt neglected when Mika got his job in the ice cream factory. And the way Thyassa had swept her off her feet! He obviously knew what she wanted.
“Come on honey! Being voted Neopia’s Cutest Couple isn’t all fun you know.” Thyassa called over. She let out a sigh and returned to the photo shoot.
“What should I do Barney?” Mika asked the wild looking chomby. He may have looked lethal, but he had a heart of gold.
“Well if you ask me, which you did. Go round there, tell her how you feel. She’ll understand.”
“But she’s with a celebrity now! I can’t compete with that! And anyway, she doesn’t want me. She chose fair and square. Maybe this whole thing is a waste of time.” Mika said, shrugging it off and trying to convince himself.
“Well, what ever you say, it is your life after all.” Replied Barney, swinging his long tail.
“Your right, I’ll give it one last try.”
“That’s the spirit. Go gettem tiger!”
“That a wrap darling. Fabbo, just fabulous!” Shouted the photographer as he finished the last take.
As everyone packed up, Thyassa turned towards Carassa. He looked into her eyes, and for a moment, she knew that this was wrong. But all her thoughts were piled on a dusty shelf as he produced a ring from his pocket. Her eyes welled up with tears.
“Carassa Chia, will you …” He was cut short by her reply.
“Oh…yes I mean no…” Tears stifled her reply. “I mean, what about Mika?”
“Oh forget the batty old fool, it’s about us now.”
“Thyassa! Watch your mouth; he was my closest friend you know.”
“I know, but he’s gone now, so what do you say?”
“Well, ok then.” She let out a short laugh and dabbed her eyes. More tears streamed down her face.
A month later, Carassa was standing outside of a chapel, bells were ringing every where. News crews were covering the star studded event and Thyassa was mingling with the crowd. But Carassa’s thoughts were with times gone by. She remembered when she and Mika used to talk of marriage, like it was some distant journey, like it was a silly ritual, for people unsure of their love. But now she was here doing it, and she saw how spiritual and binding it was for two people who wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. She knew she was ready for it. But was she with the right Chia?
The bells began to play a faster jollier tune, people started ushering the poor, young pet into the church, and before she knew it, she was in front of the priest. He was crawling through his speech at a steady pace like a bad actor reads a new script. He suddenly got to the words:
“If anyone has reason for these two Chias not to join in holly matrimony speak now or for ever hold your peace.”
The tension in the room could be cut with a knife. But as the priest slowly and quietly counted down from three, it eased up and h continued with the sermon.
In the street next to the church a car skidded round the corner. Mika leaped out and vaulted the rest of the way. He arrived at the church door panting. I got ready to go in, he had perfectly timed it so he would stride in, chest puffed out, right when they said the line. He got ready to go in. Right before he threw open the door he caught a piece of what the priest was saying:
“You may now kiss the bride!” Everyone cheered. Mika cut off from the world. He entered a spiral of disbelief. He had nothing to live for. He had just lost the one thing that meant most to him in life.
“I – I’m too late!” He stuttered. He was drowned out as the congregation piled out, cheering and hooting, and into the coaches going to the reception. As they speed away, Barney came and placed a hand on his shoulder.
“Come on, I’ll take you home.”
At the reception, Thyassa clambered up onto the table to make an announcement.
“People, people! Carassa and I have talked, and have decided we will combine my latest adventure with our honey moon. Wish us luck on our trip around Neopia!” A huge roar went up. But Carassa was far away from it all, thinking, once more of Mika.
A week later, on the shuttle launch pad, Carassa and Thyassa were preparing to embark. Suddenly a loud racket arose at the gate. A broad smile grew across Carassa face as she saw who it was. Barney and Mika were fighting off the guards. It began to rain.
“What are you doing here?” She asked still in shock.
“I came after you of course. When I saw you at the wedding, I knew you were too special to let go.”
“But I’m married. I’m going on my honey moon. Talk about shabby timing.”
“Carassa, I would travel across the sea and back to be with you my love.”
Tears ran down Carassa face, mixing with the rain and streaking her face. He cheeks turned red. She looked up into his deep, brown eyes. She remembered all the times she shared with Mika and Barney and their countless other friends. She remembered the laughter, and the songs, and the saddens. She remembered how they comforted her when she was low, and shared her glory when she was high. She looked out at the beach and the city below. She looked at the world she would be leaving behind. It wasn’t spectacular, but it was home. She knew who she wanted to be with.
She turned to Thyassa and took off the golden ring he had slipped onto her finger that day in the studio. She placed it at his feet. She turned. I’m sorry she said, before walking off with her best friend, and the Chia she loved. A tear rolled down Thyassa cheek and splashed on the wet ground, before becoming one with the rain.
