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Post by Tashni on Oct 1, 2007 12:29:10 GMT -5
So, what is my NaNovel going to be about? These song lyrics, loosely used as a basis for an enormous and not very typical fantasy. It is also loosely inspired by "The Count of Monte Cristo." If you haven't read that book, you HAVE to! It's awesome!
You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch it now
Here he comes
He doesnt look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined
When you were young
Can we climb this mountain
I dont know
Higher now than ever before
I know we can make it if we take it slow
Let's take it easy
Easy now
Watch it go
We're burning down the highway skyline
On the back of a hurricane
That started turning
When you were young
When you were young
And sometimes you close your eyes
And see the place where you used to live
When you were young
They say the devil's water
It ain't so sweet
You dont have to drink right now
But you can dip your feet
Every once in a little while
You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch it now
Here he comes
He doesnt look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined
When you were young
(talks like a gentleman)
(like you imagined)
When you were young
I said he doesnt look a thing like Jesus
He doesnt look a thing like Jesus
We're more than you'll ever know
HAVE FUN THIS YEAR EVERYONE!!! |
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Post by Tashni on Oct 1, 2007 12:29:32 GMT -5
*reserved for outlines*
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Post by Tashni on Oct 1, 2007 12:29:52 GMT -5
CURRENT EXCERPT
*you may find other posted in this thread, but this is the most recent*
Chapter 1: The Teenage Queen
A teenage queen strolled the shoreline, just above the wet sand that might get into her shoes. She held up the hem of her red gown, but did not need to hold back her hair in the still morning. As the mists lifted off the ocean, the silhouette of an island slowly darkened, like a shadow against a white wall.
Behind her stood the castle, an old stone place that housed the royal family that had remained unchallenged for centuries. Queen Kasinda was in political reality only a princess, for she held no real ruling power, only the power to influence. The twins were the real power — the eldest reigned as King, the younger by eleven minutes a Prince of great power — real power. No one challenged him.
Kasinda knew them both to be fools. King Avery was proficient at maintaining the status quo, but he would never bring Aldesh to new heights. In this time of change, Avery would not cut it, and neither would Prince Wylan.
And the time for ignoring the Other Shore was growing weary. The old Priests still maintained that the Old Shore was the realm of the darned, never to be touched, only looked up upon with greatest caution and pureness of heart. Kasinda knew them to be fools, as well. Old men with their old superstitions. The people of Aldesh grew weary of them as well, but gingerly, fearful of the old superstitions and their adherents. The whole land was heading for something — different.
Queen Kasinda came to shore almost every morning these days to gaze upon the Other Shore. Such a strange place; so close and yet never touched, never even attempted to be touched. That was how great the Priests’ power was — to stifle curiosity itself.
There were stories from those not tied to the religion, that there were people on the Other Shore. Kasinda supposed that perhaps it was this rumor that kept her coming back to this shore in front of the Castle. The Royal Family and their Castle were, according to tradition, standing as a barrier protecting Aldesh from the evilness of the Other Shore. But here she stood, looking across the water, looking for something. She wasn’t sure what, but it was something, a person? Something inexplicably deep in her soul was drawn to the shore.
The morning grew yellow with the sun burning through the white haze. The Queen returned to her castle. Guards in the red colors of Aldesh royalty saluted her as she entered. She strode across the grand hallway, currently empty. Soon it would fill with advisors and dukes and self-appointed princes and anyone who wanted to feel royal but were in fact nothing of the sort.
Kasinda came to her room, and as she opened it, stepped on something thin. She lifted her foot and picked up the envelop underneath. She frowned; since when did the servants leave her notes on the floor? Indeed, the note was for and not a paper a servant dropped; it was marked with her name. She broke the seal and unfolded the paper.
“A hurricane started turning when you were young. It will reach your shore soon.”
Kasinda glanced around her to room to ensure she was alone. What a strange message. She turned around and left her room.
“Attendant!” she called, waiting for her attendant to come. Where was that girl?
A thin brown girl came running. She curtsied. “Yes, my queen?”
“Did you take a message for me?”
“No your highness.”
“Well who put this in my room then?” Kasinda waved the paper in front of the girl. “Someone had to bring it in, and if not you, then who?”
“I am not aware of it, your highness. I will go ask the butler immediately if you wish it, Highness.”
She nodded and waved the girl away. The Queen stood silently brooding for a moment. She stared out the great window in the hallway facing the Other Shore. She had a intuition that the maid would learn nothing of the letter from the butler, nor anyone else in the castle.
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Post by Tashni on Oct 16, 2007 0:50:14 GMT -5
Okay, here is my inspiration for my NaNovel. I LOVE this song, but it makes absolutely no sense, so I'm making a story out of it so it makes sense. ^_^ You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch it now
Here he comes
He doesnt look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined
When you were young
Can we climb this mountain
I dont know
Higher now than ever before
I know we can make it if we take it slow
Let's take it easy
Easy now
Watch it go
We're burning down the highway skyline
On the back of a hurricane
That started turning
When you were young
When you were young
And sometimes you close your eyes
And see the place where you used to live
When you were young
They say the devil's water
It ain't so sweet
You dont have to drink right now
But you can dip your feet
Every once in a little while
You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch it now
Here he comes
He doesnt look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined
When you were young
(talks like a gentleman)
(like you imagined)
When you were young
I said he doesnt look a thing like Jesus
He doesnt look a thing like Jesus
We're more than you'll ever know It's going to be a fantasy novel. And for some reason, whenever I picture what it's about, I see everything in shades of red. o_0 |
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Post by Tashni on Oct 24, 2007 1:17:35 GMT -5
The time has come. I must choose a novel. HELP ME PLEASE!!!
When You were Young
Fantasy based on above song lyrics.
That Sci Fi Idea
When man ventured out into the galaxy, he was alone. No aliens were found, not even inhabitable planets. Until they stumbled upon the Ruined Systems. The Ruined Systems--now often called the Inhabited Systems--are a cluster of planets that were centuries ago MADE habitable by an alien race. The race has not been seen, but their structures remain. These structures support human life, and so humanity took advantage.
In this future, the most valuable resource is land, and it's running out.
Can Captain Skyla discover the secret of the ruins and save the galaxy from civil war?!
The White Reaper
The country of, um, Insertnamehere stood at the brink of civil war. Its citizens were divided in support of the old government and the new leaders. As the country teetered, a terrorist act united the nation under the old government. The executioner of the Korbin Island Massacre: a revolutionary soldier known only as The White Reaper.
Eleven years later, a woman stumbles across a young man. His father's dojo is on the verge of total failure. The woman, simply called Zen, stays and helps the boy. Though she appears to be no older than thirty, her body is severely deteriorated. Despite this, she displays extraordinary abilities to fight and a hypersensitivity to her environment. As the woman helps out the dojo, civil unrest begins to brew again, and the White Reaper alone knows the secret that can bring peace--or annihilation--to the country.
WHAT DO YOU ALL THINK?! I told you, I'm horribly indecisive.
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Post by Avery on Oct 24, 2007 1:22:22 GMT -5
I like the second idea! ^_^ It seems like it could be very interesting. x3
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Post by Tashni on Oct 24, 2007 1:48:01 GMT -5
I like the second idea! ^_^ It seems like it could be very interesting. x3 Funny thing is, I think the second would the hardest of the three to write! Although that's because I have story for the third one almost totally written out in my head, and the first one is so open it doesn't really matter where it ends up. I didn't say this in my last post, but the second idea would get VERY complicated as different organizations and ships and characters go along their own plot lines and eventually converge into a grand finale. So yeah. I'm thinking of going with 1 or 3. #3 would be more about the people than the political intrigue, actually. I'd tell you my plot twists, but then they wouldn't be twists, now would they? ;P I've noticed that I always ask for everyone's opinion, and then do the exact opposite. XD |
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Post by Tashni on Nov 1, 2007 2:34:44 GMT -5
Okay, so, long story short, I decided to go with the "When You Were Young" lyrics as inspiration, although they are hardly being used religiously. Here is my first 695 words!!!
Chapter 1: The Teenage Queen
A teenage queen strolled the shoreline, just above the wet sand that might get into her shoes. She held up the hem of her red gown, but did not need to hold back her hair in the still morning. As the mists lifted off the ocean, the silhouette of an island slowly darkened, like a shadow against a white wall.
Behind her stood the castle, an old stone place that housed the royal family that had remained unchallenged for centuries. Queen Kasinda was in political reality only a princess, for she held no real ruling power, only the power to influence. The twins were the real power — the eldest reigned as King, the younger by eleven minutes a Prince of great power — real power. No one challenged him.
Kasinda knew them both to be fools. King Avery was proficient at maintaining the status quo, but he would never bring Aldesh to new heights. In this time of change, Avery would not cut it, and neither would Prince Wylan.
And the time for ignoring the Other Shore was growing weary. The old Priests still maintained that the Old Shore was the realm of the darned, never to be touched, only looked up upon with greatest caution and pureness of heart. Kasinda knew them to be fools, as well. Old men with their old superstitions. The people of Aldesh grew weary of them as well, but gingerly, fearful of the old superstitions and their adherents. The whole land was heading for something — different.
Queen Kasinda came to shore almost every morning these days to gaze upon the Other Shore. Such a strange place; so close and yet never touched, never even attempted to be touched. That was how great the Priests’ power was — to stifle curiosity itself.
There were stories from those not tied to the religion, that there were people on the Other Shore. Kasinda supposed that perhaps it was this rumor that kept her coming back to this shore in front of the Castle. The Royal Family and their Castle were, according to tradition, standing as a barrier protecting Aldesh from the evilness of the Other Shore. But here she stood, looking across the water, looking for something. She wasn’t sure what, but it was something, a person? Something inexplicably deep in her soul was drawn to the shore.
The morning grew yellow with the sun burning through the white haze. The Queen returned to her castle. Guards in the red colors of Aldesh royalty saluted her as she entered. She strode across the grand hallway, currently empty. Soon it would fill with advisors and dukes and self-appointed princes and anyone who wanted to feel royal but were in fact nothing of the sort.
Kasinda came to her room, and as she opened it, stepped on something thin. She lifted her foot and picked up the envelop underneath. She frowned; since when did the servants leave her notes on the floor? Indeed, the note was for and not a paper a servant dropped; it was marked with her name. She broke the seal and unfolded the paper.
“A hurricane started turning when you were young. It will reach your shore soon.”
Kasinda glanced around her to room to ensure she was alone. What a strange message. She turned around and left her room.
“Attendant!” she called, waiting for her attendant to come. Where was that girl?
A thin brown girl came running. She curtsied. “Yes, my queen?”
“Did you take a message for me?”
“No your highness.”
“Well who put this in my room then?” Kasinda waved the paper in front of the girl. “Someone had to bring it in, and if not you, then who?”
“I am not aware of it, your highness. I will go ask the butler immediately if you wish it, Highness.”
She nodded and waved the girl away. The Queen stood silently brooding for a moment. She stared out the great window in the hallway facing the Other Shore. She had a intuition that the maid would learn nothing of the letter from the butler, nor anyone else in the castle.
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Post by Avery on Nov 1, 2007 2:41:25 GMT -5
That's really awesome, Tash. I'd love to read more! ^^
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Post by Tashni on Nov 1, 2007 2:44:19 GMT -5
That's really awesome, Tash. I'd love to read more! ^^ Aw, you're sweet to say that. I know you're lying, but you're sweet. ;P (This IS a rough draft for NaNoWriMo after all. No one wants to read those! THE HORROR!!!1!11!) |
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Post by Avery on Nov 1, 2007 2:47:30 GMT -5
That's really awesome, Tash. I'd love to read more! ^^ Aw, you're sweet to say that. I know you're lying, but you're sweet. ;P (This IS a rough draft for NaNoWriMo after all. No one wants to read those! THE HORROR!!!1!11!) I'm not lying. xD;; You have not seen mine. Yours is bounds better, and the plot is intriguing. ^^ |
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Post by Tashni on Nov 1, 2007 2:53:20 GMT -5
Aw, you're sweet to say that. I know you're lying, but you're sweet. ;P (This IS a rough draft for NaNoWriMo after all. No one wants to read those! THE HORROR!!!1!11!) I'm not lying. xD;; You have not seen mine. Yours is bounds better, and the plot is intriguing. ^^ LOL, thank you Carrie. Now where is your thread? I want to see some excerpts! |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 12, 2007 17:37:04 GMT -5
I just got around to reading your excerpt, Tashni, and I thought it was great.
The Other Shore sounds so ominous and mysterious.
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Post by Tashni on Nov 19, 2007 20:26:07 GMT -5
I just got around to reading your excerpt, Tashni, and I thought it was great. The Other Shore sounds so ominous and mysterious. Thank you Wolf. ^_^ And I know I've been totally neglecting NTWF this month, but I have not been neglecting my novel! I currently have 28,257 words and still have a couple hours writing time tonight. So I'm doing okay. I've recently done some crazy things. - I disfigured one of my favorite characters. - Married and mysteriously unmarried two of my characters so as to prolong their rather unconventional romance. - Turned a character who was supposed to be a symbol of innocence into a murderous villainess. And I still do not know HOW I'm going to get all these thread to end in a remotely coherent manner. Yep. Okay. Here I go back to the whole writing thing. Oh, and because I know you're all just dying to read more, here's an excerpt:
Chapter 16: Exposure
Kendel woke to shouting. He jumped out of his room and met Pemba at his door.
“Good, you’re up,” she said and grabbed his arm. “You got the girl in trouble, I warned you!”
“What are you talking about?”
“Father Amon found out the letter was Alodie’s and now he’s charging her with heresy.”
“What?” he yelped.
“Just come on, it’s going to take everything the both of us have got to keep him from having her lynched today.”
Kendel ran ahead of Pemba, his legs pounding the ground beneath him. He made it to the Cathedral and Pemba just behind him. Amon was screaming at Alodie, her hair in his fist. Her face was red and wet, panic in her eyes.
“It is not mine, Father, I do not know who it is from!”
The Father made it abundantly clear that he did not believe in the word of a heretic.
Kendel pushed Pemba away. At this point, she could only harm the situation. “Father Amon!” Kendel said and put his hand on Alodie’s back. “What are you doing?”
“The witch speaks words that are blasphemy against the Religion!”
“I have not!” cried Alodie.
“Are you speaking of the hurricane?”
“Yes, Kendel, and you led me right to her. You are a fool for coming here, for you are a heretic as well!”
“Have you even seen the letter?” demanded Kendel.
The priest’s eyes glazed over. “Letter?”
“Those words I said to you, they are not Alodie’s. Someone, we do not know who, sent her a threatening letter with that phrase. I have been trying to help her. She is a pure child, Father!”
“Do you have the letter?” asked the priest. His voice had grown quiet and detached, as if thinking of something else, but he still gripped the girl’s hair.
He pulled it out of his pocket. The priest snatched it, releasing Alodie. She ran behind Kendel as the priest looked it over.
“The girl is . . . involved with heretics,” whispered the priest.
“No Father, not to her knowledge.”
“No, no,” confirmed Alodie.
“Then where is it from?” Amon asked, searching Kendel’s eyes with . . . fear?
“We are trying to find out, Father.”
“Find out as soon as you can and tell me immediately.” The priest turned to walk away and the letter slid through his fingers.
Kendel turned and held Alodie’s trembling body.
“It’s okay Alodie,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry I got you into this.”
“What am I going to do?”
Kendel looked around. They had become a spectacle to about a dozen onlookers. The word would spread, and Alodie would be considered a heretic, guilty or not. “We’re getting out of here.”
“But I do not have anywhere to go.” She had regained some composure and took a step back from him.
“I do. Come on, you need to get your things together. I have friends on King’s Coast.”
She looked into his eyes for a moment, judging whether or not to go with him, and then she nodded.
“Do you want me to go with you to the Roths’?”
“No, I’ll be alright.”
“I’ll go get my things and meet you in front of the post in half an hour. Is that enough time?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.”
Kendel ran back to his room and packed, and waited at the post. When Alodie did not come after forty minutes, Kendel went looking for her. The streets were not run by mobs with pitchforks. Even the church looked quiet when he passed it. When the Roth’s boarding house came into view, though, a crowd of people from thee town surrounded the place. Kendel dropped his bag behind a tree and went closer.
The crowd was angry, although unsure. It was dangerously close to frenzy. Kendel quietly slipped through to the front, where the heads of two of the more prominent families stood. No pitchforks or torches, but it was still light out. Mr. Roth stood on the front porch. He looked worried, but not frightened. Kendel was glad for it, Alodie would need someone from within the town to defend her. But what were all these people doing here so quickly?
“I’m sorry, but Alodie is not feeling well,” he heard Mr. Roth say.
“The priest wants her at the church now, Roth,” said the man at the front of the retorted. He was an average man, but obviously a strict adherent of the Religion and therefore set on doing the priest’s bidding.
“She’ll be at church first thing in the morning, but she’s tired. Why don’t you get this mob out of her, Ryan?”
“What mob? We are just some concerned citizens. That girl is an outsider, Roth, and we don’t know much about her. All we know is that Father Amon said it is urgent that she be at the church right now. Period. Now send her out, Roth.”
At that moment, Mr. Roth spotted Kendel, but did not establish eye contact. He sighed. “Alright Ryan, but she’s a little scared of you all at the moment. Get some of these people out of here and she will come out.”
“Why is she scared, Roth? Does she have reason to be afraid of law-abiding citizens?”
“You know why she’s scared! Surrounding our house like the poor thing is some sort of criminal.”
“Is she?”
After Ryan’s comment, the surrounding people began whispering among each other. Kendel tried to catch Roth’s eye again. He thought he caught Roth giving him a nod. Kendel quietly backed out of the crowd to go around the back. Not many knew that their back cellar had an entrance into their house for storage, an he was counting on that general lack of knowledge. As he took a long way around the back, Kendel spotted a few men milling around the back door, which was just around the corner of the house from the cellar door. Kendel was as quiet as he could be, but he was not sure how loud the cellar door would be on opening.
He reached the cellar door, unlatched its rusty lock, which was not too loud. Then he opened the door so slowly. It creaked, but he opened it so slowly as to avoid an attention calling squeal. He slipped in, and the door thundered shut on top of him. He cringed but leapt behind some boxes. He heard footsteps run in front of the cellar door.
“I heard it slam shut!” one voice said.
“Yeah, but I don’t see anyone, do you?”
“No, and that girl ain’t fast enough to run out of sight so quick. Let’s look inside. We don’t want anyone going in there to cause trouble.”
“Why not?”
“Because Father Amon didn’t want us breaking and entering, did he?”
“If that’s what it takes to bring a heretic to justice.”
“Let’s just look, okay?”
The door was opened, but they didn’t see him.
“It’s only a cellar. Even if someone went in, what good would it do?” With that the door shut again.
After several minutes of silence, Kendel got up off his quivering legs and to the small door hidden behind stacks of crates and quietly knocked. He wanted to get the attention of Mrs. Roth or Alodie, but of no one outside. He knocked twice more before Mrs. Roth’s voice whispered through the door.
“Who is there?”
“It is Kendel, Mrs. Roth. Is Alodie still inside?”
The door swung open before him. “Kendel!” she exclaimed and pulled him inside. “I am so worried! That group out there is going to turn into a mob and we can’t protect Alodie forever. They will tear the house down! Or, well, worse. Can you help?”
“Where is she?”
Mrs. Roth took him into the kitchen where Alodie sat at the table with a luggage bag at her feet. Her face was pale, and her little hands cradled a full cup of tea.
But he got her out. He got her out of that town, and he got her to King’s coast.
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Post by Tashni on Nov 29, 2007 17:58:08 GMT -5
Okay, so I hit 45k yesterday. I can hear the whisper of "Chariots of Fire" in the distance . . .
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