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Post by kamikatze24 on Sept 1, 2007 17:00:27 GMT -5
I'm sorry to say this, but I don't think psychopsam is in the NTWF. Psycho is psychotic_dancer. Unless she's someone else. In which case, please carry on and I'm sorry for interrupting ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png) Nope, he is. He just joined today ^_^
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Post by Craig on Sept 1, 2007 17:01:31 GMT -5
I'm sorry to say this, but I don't think psychopsam is in the NTWF. Psycho is psychotic_dancer. Unless she's someone else. In which case, please carry on and I'm sorry for interrupting ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png) I know psychopsam, he's new, but he's still NTWF. ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png)
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Post by Deleted on Sept 1, 2007 18:24:42 GMT -5
Captain Cappuccion and Miss Mocha by playmobil_is_my_life Another great story! Just like others said before, the story actually made me laugh out loud in some parts! It was really funny, but I was amazed at how you were able to keep your style while writing humorously. When I write for laughs, my writing isn't as flowing as yours was. It's like you combined good writing with humor, a feat which is quite difficult to achieve. I'd have to say that my favorite part was with the coffee stirrer. Such a disaster! I'm very glad that CC was able to avert it. As the Mynci says, "He's one straaaaaaange dude." Great job! Thank you so much! I am glad you enjoyed it. ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png)
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Post by Deleted on Sept 1, 2007 19:28:16 GMT -5
Aww, thanks so much, Sam! I'm glad you've been enjoying the series! ![:D](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/grin.png)
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Post by Dice on Sept 1, 2007 20:53:43 GMT -5
Flight: Part Two by Taipei
First of all, this series is great. It really gives you the feel of the characters in the first couple of paragraphs. And let me tell you, as one who lives with a bratty younger sister who is indulged by the mother, you've got the relationship and the problems it causes dead on. I especially like how you didn't make Mindi completely horrible--the fact that she didn't just throw the gift back at Lo leaves that little suspicion of possible decency. This story is well-written, realistic, flows wonderfully, and...gah. I'm eagerly awaiting the next installment!
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Post by Deleted on Sept 1, 2007 21:21:31 GMT -5
Any reviews or comments about Star Power are really appreciated =) I'll try and review as much as possible... The Partnership: Part Oneby pandabearb WOWWW. I mean, from our discussions about this series before it was published, I could tell that it was going to be good, but this blew my mind and exceeded my expectations ten fold. Seriously, Kataok is the most defined and interesting character I've read about in the NT in a while. He's so funny. The first person narrative was a perfect choice. The dialogue was smooth (but for Judge Hog saying "It is" instead of "it's" every now and then...except he's formal soz yeah) and extremely well I mean perfectly written. It's totally drawn me in, the plot looks interesting, the characters are awesome, the writing style is fresh. I seriously wanna go skydiving or something right now. ![:D](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/grin.png) At that point, I just burst out laughing. Yeah Scout. You go girl.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 1, 2007 21:28:52 GMT -5
What's with all the she business? I'm a boy, thank-you-very-much! *pokes gender thingy on profile*
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Post by Deleted on Sept 2, 2007 2:18:04 GMT -5
SAM'S A BOY. A MANLY, MANLY BOY. ....hahahhahha. Had to do a little series throwback. :') ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png) And thanks, Pyro! I'm really glad you're liking the series, and I'm super glad...der.... ... .... lol, that I managed to capture those parts well. One more part to go!
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Post by kamikatze24 on Sept 2, 2007 5:30:42 GMT -5
What's with all the she business? I'm a boy, thank-you-very-much! *pokes gender thingy on profile* Whoops, sorry, I confused you with another Sam '^^ Soooorrysorrysorrysorry. Corrected it.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 2, 2007 7:24:08 GMT -5
No problem guys, thanks for writing them.
It's okay guys, just thought I would let you know! xD
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Post by Lillie on Sept 2, 2007 8:22:17 GMT -5
Wow, thanks Sam! I'm excited that you're enjoying it. ![:D](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/grin.png) Ahh thanks Guy! *yay for improvements from old stories... ![:P](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/tongue.png) * But anyway, I think the reason that Judge Hog said "It is" a few times is because originally I wrote with him using no contractions, but then it just sounded awkward, so I cut it out. I probably missed a couple XD ...Bring a parachute before you go? And some reviews... (Not Just Any) Day at the ParkGreat job! When I was reading this story, it felt like the time went by quickly, because things moved along at a steady pace, but didn't rush, which made it easy to read. I also loved the humor that you put in. When I was reading, I mentally marked one-liners that made me laugh, so that I could put them in the review, but there were too many. Here's one part, though. That one made me laugh, just because it was random. XD Another thing that you did well is developing your characters. All three of your pets had distinct personalities, just from the way they acted and talked. You probably didn't really need to describe them as much in the beginning, just because you did an excellent job of portraying them through your writing. The only thing I would keep up on is watching your word choice, to make sure the story sounds smooth. But it honestly wasn't a big deal in this case. Really nice work. Captain Cappuccino and Miss MochaAs to be expected, this story was awesome, Playmobil! Right from the beginning you had me hooked, what with vivid descriptions of the Catacombs and whatnot. One of the things I really liked was how defined your characters were. You have the ability to make them quirky, and maybe even slightly odd, but still make them lovable. The reader (or at least me) wants to go into a coffee shop and actually meet Cap. Cappuccino. This line made me laugh. XD Although when I first read it I was a little confused, I think that's just me. *brain fry'd* Another part I really liked was the irony of the Mynci customer calling Cap. Cappuccino weird. The plot was original, and definitely fun to read. I really have no suggestions to add. Incredible job! Star Power: Part 3Unsurprisingly, this is another really well written part to this story! It's definitely obvious that we're getting into the hardcore plot-ness now, and I'm a bit excited. Right from the beginning, I loved this part. Lena coming out with cucumber in her ears...brilliant. Your stories always have completely random and funny parts like that in them, which makes them interesting to read. The fight between Rodney and Lena was intense, it'll be interesting to see how that gets resolved. Another thing I liked was the way Lena's personality changed. It was smooth and very believable. I think another trait that's being revealed now is that she's a little naive. Although what happens in this part is slightly predictable, I didn't really mind. It's still a great story anyway! XDDD Niceee. I'll try and do some more reviews a little bit later.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 2, 2007 8:46:24 GMT -5
I am so glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for the review, Lillie. ^_^
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Post by Deleted on Sept 2, 2007 10:28:23 GMT -5
Not a problem! It's really great, and I can't wait for the next part to come out!
Thanks for the review, and thanks for the advice! I will try to be careful with word choice. ;D
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Post by Deleted on Sept 2, 2007 12:07:44 GMT -5
Star Power: Part 3Unsurprisingly, this is another really well written part to this story! It's definitely obvious that we're getting into the hardcore plot-ness now, and I'm a bit excited. Right from the beginning, I loved this part. Lena coming out with cucumber in her ears...brilliant. Your stories always have completely random and funny parts like that in them, which makes them interesting to read. The fight between Rodney and Lena was intense, it'll be interesting to see how that gets resolved. Another thing I liked was the way Lena's personality changed. It was smooth and very believable. I think another trait that's being revealed now is that she's a little naive. Although what happens in this part is slightly predictable, I didn't really mind. It's still a great story anyway! XDDD Niceee. Yess that's exactly what I was trying to convey in this part: Lena is naive. ![:D](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/grin.png) Oh yes, Lena's branching off from Rod and Bethany was completely predictable (but no matter what, necessary to da plotz). Thanks!! - (Not Just Any) Day at the Parkpsychopsam This was a well-written and funny story. What I liked about this story was that it had a distinctive voice. I could hear Sam (you) actually telling the story in my head, since your writing style was consistent. Also, your humor was remarkable because it occasionally mocked conventional writing styles (aka "I'm sure you'd be happy that I cut that part ou if you knew what had happened") and because it was just so sarcastic. Your pets were a riot; I couldn't believe how mean they were... lol. I noticed one or two minor mistakes, but this is the only one I actually remembered: Careful. Imminent, immanent, and eminent are commonly confused words. Here, I think you meant immanent (which basically means present, inherent). Imminent means about to happen. A lot of readers won't notice or care about this, but after reading all of the mixed up words in my previous NT stories, I've grown to believe that diction is very important. What I liked the most about the story though, was that it was just so personal. ![:D](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/grin.png) It's awesome when the author can make a real connection with the reader. (Ex., you had little personal conversations with the reader every now and then). This can do one of two things: either make it feel less like I was there watching it and more like you're just telling me a story, or make me feel more attached to the characters. This story definitely did the second thing. ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/wink.png) Great job.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 2, 2007 16:34:07 GMT -5
Thank you sooo much for the review and compliments! I should actually get to reviewing yours... About the imminent immanent thing, I never even knew about the difference. I guess I've seen it wrongly used so many times it just got stuck in my brain ![O_o](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/browraise.png) . Thanks for pointing it out for me!
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