Judge Pichu Saga!

[Deleted]

Lots of crime goes on in the NTWF, and only the Honorable Judge Pichu is the one who can judge it all. Packed with food, any case is certain to lead to a verdict!

JUDGE PICHU SAGA

SPOILER: Click to show

brymax406 said:

Episode I Part I: RIDER vs. PATRICK

brymax406 said:

Episode I Part II: RIDER vs. PATRICK

brymax406 said:

Episode II: NSQ vs. TRACY

0523ck said:

Episode III: NICK vs. CARRIE

[Deleted]

SPOILER: Click to show

The Honorable Judge Pichu waddles into the room. He's clutching a bag of potato chips and some onion dip and everyone rises, at the command of Bailiff Vyt.

Vyt: All rise!

Pichu takes his seat at the Judge's stand and starts munching on his chips un-intently. The entire court keeps standing, waiting Pichu's orders to sit back down.

Pichu: *eating his chips* What're you waiting for?! Sit down!

The jury sits down.

Pichu: Now, who am I wasting my precious and valuable time with today? The prosecution, make your case.

Vyt stands up from, well, standing.

Vyt: Rider is suing Patrick... something about books.

Patrick: It's MY books! If anyone should be suing then I should be!

Pichu: Order! Order!

Rider: Patrick took the books I was trying to read away from me! He was mean.

Elycien: Objection!

Pichu: On what grounds?

Elycien: The picnic grounds would be nice. Can we go there?

Pichu: Maybe later. Can we see some evidence?

Kirby: Okay.

Kirby picks up a box of tissues.

Kirby: Here we can clearly see Patrick yelling at Rider.

The jury members can be heard gasping and saying "He did it."

Patrick: But that's just a box of tissues!

Kirby: Is it Patrick? Is it?

Kirby gets into Patrick’s face and shoves the box at him.

Patrick: Well, let's see.

Patrick takes a tissue and blows his nose.

Patrick: Yes. It is.

Pichu: You people are morons! Present the real evidence.

Rider shows a tape of a horrible act occurring.

Elycien: Oh my goodness! Vyt is the bailiff?

Pichu: You just now noticed that?

Elycien: What's he doing being a bailiff? I'm now going to point in his general direction and laugh. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Vyt's eyebrows cross and steam escapes his ears.

Kirby: Objection! That's got to be illegal!

Pichu: Objection overruled! I shall support any and all acts of total or partial bias against
Kirby. Now *cough* let's do this in a halfway decent fashion before the senate decides to revoke my foraged judging license. Would the prosecution make your case?

Vyt: Would the Honorable Rider please take the stand?

Kirby: Rider. Please be very good and tell us why you are suing Patrick.

Rider: My reason is rather simple. I was enjoying a good book and that mean Patrick grabbed the book from me then yelled at me. I’m suing for emotional distress and attempted murder.

Pichu: Attempted murder?

Rider: I could've been bored to death.

Audience: Ooooh...

Pichu: *whacks gavel* Order! *gavel breaks*

Kirby: So members of the jury, PATRICK TRIED TO MURDER RIDER!!!

Patrick: Objection!

Pichu: Overruled! Mr. Patrick, Kirby has made a very VERY convincing story. It may have been all the caps and exclamation points, but I still say you'd better hold your tongue...

Kirby (to Patrick): Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyaaaah!

Patrick: Why I oughta-

Kirby: And now he is trying to attempt assault on Rider’s attorney, me! I rest my case.

Pichu: Rider, you may sit down.

Rider: But I am sitting down.

Pichu: That isn’t an excuse. Sit more!

Grumbling, Rider sits down... more.

Pichu: Now Patrick, have you anything to say in your defense? If so, make your case.

Patrick: Oh, you know I do!

Kirby: CHALLENGE, CHALLENGE, CHALLENGE!!!

Pichu, being gavel-challenged, whacks the table with a can of beans.

Patrick: Those books were in MY library. Rider tried to read them, even without asking me nicely! She's guilty of trespassing, violating private property laws, and stealing.

The jury gasps again, this time saying ''Rider did it'.'

Pichu: ORDER!!! Mr. Patrick, your case has used some very... diverse vocabulary. 'Trespassing', HA! 'In violation', BAH! You use that kind of language in this courtroom again and your case shall be dismissed!

Pichu chucks his can of beans at Patrick’s head.

Kirby: I know how to decide who's guilty, using my mystical powers. Eenie Meenie Miney Moe, Patrick!

Patrick: That’s not fair!

Pichu bangs his bag of chips on the stand. They all crumble in the bag.

Pichu: Order! I shall have order!

Elycien: I'll have a dou-

Pichu: And instant death for who ever uses that one liner.

Elycien: ... I rest my case.

Pichu: Good. Now that you have both made your opening statements... Mr. Kirby, you may call your first witless to the stand. Then Elycien will cross-examine.

Kirby: Your Honor. I call this rock to the stand.

Patrick: Good Golly...

Vyt: There'll be no back talking.

Kirby: Now rock, tell the courtroom what you saw on 10:42 AM of last Tuesday.

The rock does nothing.

Kirby: Don't you back sass me! Tell us what you saw!

The rock does nothing. The audience starts gasping and talking amongst themselves.

Kirby: Your Honor! I formally request that you have this... this... rock, and have it beaten severely for refusing to answer my questions.

Pichu: Sure, whatever... though... after it's been cross examined.

Patrick: I object!

Kirby: Hmm?! You object... Because, this rock was there... AT THE SCENE OF THE CRIME!

Patrick: WHAT?! No!

Kirby: It witnessed your attempt at murdering Rider!

Patrick: I was TRYING to say that-

Kirby: That this rock watched you try to murder Rider... IN COLD BLOOD!!!

Audience: *murmurs*

Elycien: I object! My client's not a reptile. So therefore, he doesn’t have cold blood.

Pichu: Objection noted and dually ignored.

Pichu reaches into his bag of potato crumbs and chucks them at Elycien’s general direction.

Elycien shakes out the potato chip crumbs.

Kirby: It was there! That's why you object to my questioning the rock! Elycien can cross examine the rock now.

Pichu: Enough already! This has lasted WAY too long. I wanna go home and watch my soaps! By the power invested in me, by me, the guilty party is...

DRAMATIC SILENCE

Pichu: Rider!

Rider, Kirby, and Audience: *GASP*

Pichu: And that's my final decision. Case closed.

Some Terrapins ''escort'' Rider away.

Vyt runs up to Pichu.

Vyt: I'm sorry sir, but you can't do that... or at least not this time.

Pichu: Shut up! Or I'll sentence YOU to the salt mines! Second thought, you're going!

Vyt kung-fu's the guards that are after him.

Vyt: Sir? The people from the high society of judges is here. It would be a poor idea to sentence Rider, just yet.

Camera pans to a bunch of judges bearing paddles.

Pichu: Fine! Elycien, cross examine the rock now.

Elycien: Okay.

Elycien starts staring at the rock.

Elycien: What did you call me?!

Elycien picks up the rock and throws at Vyt. It bounces off his head and up through the sunroof and into an airplane.

Vyt: Ow.

Kirby: *gasp* Elycien killed the witness!

Elycien: Objection! Rocks cannot be killed. It was murdered!

Kirby: You must send her to jail, your honor!

Pichu: No. I don't think I'll be doing that.

Kirby: Why not?

Pichu: Because you told me to do it.

Pichu crumples up his bag of chips and thunks it on Kirby’s head.

Pichu: Hehe, I love my job. I can get away with chucking food at these people all I want, and you can do nothing about it. Bring in the next witness. *pulls out a batch of bananas*

Kirby: Oh! Oh! Oh! Can I call the next witness?!

Pichu: Yes... you get to call as many witnesses as you wish until you say "I rest my case" and mean it.

Kirby: Wheeeeeee! I call... VYT!

Vyt: What?! But, I wasn't even there.

Rider slips Vyt a 100-dollar bill.

Vyt: But, um... I did hear every word of the conversation.

*Phony Flashback*

Rider: Can I PLEASE read some books?

Patrick: NO! I want you to bore to death!

*End Phony Flashback*

Pichu: That was... a very short but meaningful flashback.

Pichu eats a banana and tosses the peel at a random jury member. The jury is almost completely sure that Patrick is guilty.

Patrick: That's crazy! I didn't say anything like that!

Killix (jury member): We believe Patrick is guilty.

Pichu: So?

Killix: Well, sentence him.

Pichu: I told you already, this case will continue until both sides have rested their cases.

Oscar Meyer (jury): I object!

Pichu: Who cares? Bring in the next suspect!

Vyt: Uh, don't you mean witness?

Pichu: Ain't you learning anything at school!? Everyone's guilty until proven innocent.

Pichu chucks the half-eaten banana at Vyt.

Vyt: BLECK!

Vyt rubs himself on the floor, trying to get the banana residue off his head. Tracy steps in.

Tracy: I know what happened! I saw it with my own eyes!

*Really Fake Flashback*

Patrick: Ah, what a ni-

Rider breaks everything and takes all the books. Patrick faints because of the shock.

*End Flashback*

Pichu: Nobody will believe that! Patrick isn’t THAT weak!

Patrick: Hey!

Pichu chucks the rest of his bananas at Tracy.

Pichu: Next suspect!

Ginz: I will tell you what happened!

*The really really fake real flashback*

Rider walks up to the door of Ginz’s house and starts bashing it with a shovel.

Ginz: Rider, why are you pummeling my door with a shovel?

Rider: I want to read a book.

Ginz: Well, I'll be nice. Here's one I sto-I mean, BORROWED, from Patrick's library. =D

Rider shoves the book into her pocket and then runs to Patrick’s house and starts stealing all the books the read.

Ginz: I said use the book I gave you!

*End Flashback*

Kirby: And what did Rider do next?

Ginz: I don't know. Squiesh stole my cupcakes and I had to chase her down.

Pichu: That didn't help in anyway.

Pichu unsheathes a jar of mayo and clonks Ginz in the head with it.

Ginz: Ow! T_T

Kirby: You see? Ginz doesn't know what happened because Rider did nothing. And I rest my case. I didn't get any candy.

Pichu: Sure, whatever.

Pichu pulls out a couple of Happy Meals and tosses one at Kirby. It lands on Kirby’s head and he blacks out. Everyone turns from the fallen Kirby to Pichu.

Pichu: What?! Everyone knows he's a couple of bricks short of a Happy Meal.

Food Processor (jury member): *looks up from his charts on world domination* Wait... Isn't that supposed to be a few fries short of a Happy Meal?

Pichu: Sounds like you're a couple short too.

Pichu throws the other Happy Meal at the food processor.

Food Processor: Rrrrrr...

A jar of Mayo with the McDonald's logo pops out of the food processor.

Elycien: I'd like to call in my first witness: This dog!

Dog: Woof! Woof!

Elycien: Now, tell the courtroom what you saw last Tuesday.

Dog: Woof!

Elycien: And that proves Patrick is innocent!

Patrick has his head imbedded on the desk to the left of him and proceeds to bang it continuously.

Pichu: That's it?

Elycien: Yep. You may cross examine, Kirby.

Pichu: Overruled!

Elycien: Whatever for?!

Pichu: I ran out of food.

The jury does an anime floor drop. Kirby walks up to the dog. It automatically attaches its mouth to Kirby’s arm. Kirby runs around the courthouse screaming.

Pichu: Mr. Kirby... If you do not begin to behave I shall take those paddle-armed superiors of mine and unleash them upon you.

Kirby proceeds to run around with the dog on his arm.

Elycien: May I call my next witness?

Pichu: Yeah, yeah... whatever.

Elycien: I call Gav to the stand.

Gav walks up.

Vyt: Do you, Gav, promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth unless you give me a sufficient bribe?

Gav: *slips a 20* I do your honor.

Elycien: Now, tell the jury what you saw on the night of the accident...

Gav: Well, I was walking around when...

*THIS IS THE ULTIMATE FAKE FLASHBACK OF ULTIMATE DESTINY*

Gav: Dum dee dum dee dum!

A voice cries out for help!

Gav runs into a nearby phone booth and changes into Super Gav! He takes off and flies into the direction of the distress and sees Patrick in a white cape and an evil goatee withholding a large collection of books from Rider, who is chained inhumanely to a brick wall. Gav uses his super powers to dramatically blow up the wall and fly off with Rider into a more suitable location.

Patrick: I'LL GET MY REVENGE ON YOU! MARK MY WORDS!!!

*END FLASHBACK*

Gav: And that's what really happened.

Pichu: Sorry, but I don't believe you. And Rider is already sentenced, remember?

Everyone: Oh.

Pichu: And now I must go. Need to catch up with the news, watch soaps, get more food... you know, that sort of thing.

Pichu walks out of the courtroom.

The End

[Deleted]

SPOILER: Click to show

Or so we think!

Vyt: Replacement Judge Kacheek to the stand! Everybody stand!

A plushie Kacheek is in a judge's uniform, new gavel and everything. He walks to where Pichu was sitting before.

Kacheek: I'm scared of uniforms! I'm scared of gavels! I'm scared of everybody standing! Everyone, sit! I'm not too afraid when everyone sits.

Everyone sits.

Kacheek: Now, as Pichu had a phony license (I'm scared of phony licenses), Rider is not sentenced quite yet.

Rider: YAHOO!

Kacheek: Stop it! I'm scared of that Internet search engine! Anyways, Elycien, call up your next witness.

Elycien: Thank you. I call to the stand... VENTRATTA!

Ventratta is dragged to the suspect table.

Ventratta: Meep! Meep! (I DID NOTHING!!! YOU CAN'T PROVE ME GUILTY!!!)

Kacheek: I'm scared of yelling! Anyways, Ventratta, we know you aren't guilty. We just want you to answer a few questions.

Vyt: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, etc?

Ventratta: Meep. (Possibly.)

Vyt: Eh... good enough.

Kacheek: I'm scared of the truth! Now Ventratta, what did you see when Rider went out when Patrick’s books were stolen?

Ventratta: Meep meep... (Well, Rider, I saw everything...

YET ANOTHER FLASHBACK...

Ventratta: Meep! Meep meep. Meep. (Rider! You need to get some books to read. Really.)

Rider: I know! I’ll go borrow books from the Superior Underdog of the year, Patrick!

FLASHBACK INTERRUPTED

Kacheek: This is unbelievable! You're lying! Patrick can't be a Superior Underdog!

Ventratta: Meep! Meep! (Yes he can! Bring out evidence piece #45!)

It's a magazine, freshly printed on the day before the day of the entire happening.

Ventratta: Meep! (As you see, in "Badgers Monthly", Patrick was voted Superior Underdog of the year, which is what they call the biggest, scummiest cheat of the year!)

Kacheek: I'm scared of magazines! You, in the back row! Can you read it for me?

Squiesh comes up and reads the magazine.

Squiesh: Here it is! On page 7! He IS their Superior Underdog of the year!

Kacheek: Okay, your story checks out. Now, you were saying?

Ventratta: Meep meep meep... (Well, I couldn't follow Rider to Patrick’s house, but when she came back...)

FLASHBACK RESUMES

Rider: Owwwwwww...

Ventratta: Meep? (Rider? What happened?)

Rider: He really IS the Superior Underdog of the year to Badgers Monthly.

Rider faints.

Ventratta: MEEEEEP!!! (NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!)
FLASHBACK ENDS

Elycien: HEY! I called you up here to make Rider look guilty, not innocent!

Ventratta: Meep meep meep, meep meep! (I said I would possibly tell the truth, and decided in the end, I would!)

Kachek: OH NO! I SAID I WAS SCARED OF THE TRUTH! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Kacheek runs away.

Patrick: Big wuss.

Officer: HOLD UP!

Patrick: What?

Officer: We will now have to arrest you!

Patrick: But I'm not guilty!

Officer: Yes, you are. So is Rider!

Patrick: How?

Officer: Evidence proves Pichu DID have a real license, so Rider is guilty. But it is against the law to insult the judge, no matter how wimpy.

Elycien: How about we work something out?

Officer: Like what?

Elycien: We still haven't REALLY figured out who is more guilty in this trial. How about whoever is guilty here for the crime specified gets their jail sentence doubled?

Officer: Well, it isn't really legal...

Elycien bribes Officer with a coupon for a lifetime supply of rice cakes.

Officer: ... but I'm fine with that!

Kirby: The trial continues!

Kacheek: I'm back from a random bazooka accident. I'm scared of backs, bazookas, random accidents, and the 1991 Denver Broncos. Elycien please AHH! call up your next witness.

Elycien: I call to the stand .

Audience: *gasp*

Kacheek: Mysteries are way too scary! Almost as scary as North Dakota!

Elycien: Will you please take off that bag?

takes off the bag to reveal...

A small cheeseburger.

Audience: GASP!

Kacheek: I'm scared of cheeseburgers!

Elycien: This cheeseburger was the only thing in Patrick’s house that Rider didn't steal.

Patrick: Cheeseburger?! I didn't even have a cheeseburger with me at that time.

Elycien: Nevertheless... I think the cheeseburger may have something to say.

Kacheek: No!!! I'm afraid of talking food.

The burger just sits there.

Elycien: The defense now rests.

Rider: I want to cross examine cheeseburger!

Rider eats the cheeseburger.

Officer: Rider has eaten a witness! She immediately gets a triple-long jail sentence!

Rider: But I saved Officer Pickle!

Officer: Really? In that case, you don't get the triple-long jail sentence... YET!

Kacheek: Thanks, Rider! I was scared of pickles! Elycien, next witness!

Elycien: Uh let's see... I call Patrick to the stand!

Patrick: FINALLY, we may actually get this case going in the right direction...

Patrick takes the witness stand.

Elycien: First question... uh... uhh... I don’t have any questions! I’ll be right back after I’m done thinking!

Elycien runs out of the courthouse.

Vyt: Elycien has left! Call in the alternate!

Lawyerbot walks into the courtroom.

Lawyerbot: Did you called for the alternate? I’m here!

Kacheek: I recommend that Kirby cross examines Patrick before he gets replaced in a very scary manner.

Kirby walks up to Patrick.

Kirby: HE DUN IT!

The jury murmurs.

Patrick: I didn't dun it!

Spellcheck Bot: Actually, that's improper grammar. How you say it is-

Patrick: You get out of here!

Kacheek: Grammar is very scary! Kirby, please ask less scary questions or make less frightening accusations.

Elycien enters the courtroom.

Kacheek: AHH!

Elycien: I thought of the questions! Therefore I'll ask the questions here!

Kacheek: AHH! Your entrance was way too scary! Also, Kirby is still cross examining the last witness.

Elycien: Oh. Never mind then.

Kirby: This is getting boring, therefore I suggest a court recess.

Kacheek: Recess? That's got to be the scariest part of a school day! Granted!

Everyone in the courtroom leaves and goes to play in the park for an hour, then comes back.

Kacheek: Phew! I'm glad that is over with, that was an especially scary recess. How's about we make some closing arguments? Kirby, you go because Patrick’s hair is freaky.

Kirby: AAAH!!! I motion for a mistrial! A giant enemy crab dumped sand in my hat!

Kirby motions over to exhibit A, a hat filled to the rim with sand. Suddenly, the Giant Enemy Crab’s attorneys walk into the courtroom! Then Lawyerbot walks in!

Lawyerbot: That's it, Kirby! Let's talk about the whole Giant Enemy Crab thing outside, where nobody can hear you scream!

Kirby: Okay! Whee!

Kacheek: But who will replace him until you get back?

Lawyerbot: That's easy! The alternate- oh, wait! I'M the alternate attorney!

Kacheek: So call in the alternate alternate attorney! Wait, alternate alternate? That’s too scary!

Lawyerbot: But he's sick! So I guess we call in the alternate alternate attorney's alternate!

Kacheek: But I'm scared of the alternate alternate alternate attorney too!

Lawyerbot: So live with it!

Then, the alternate alternate, whatever, comes in.

Elycien: Oh my! It's... Invisible Man!

Invisible Man: Hello, I'm the alternate alternate attorney's alternate, if anyone cares.

Kacheek: AHHH! I'm scared of invisible people! I can never tell if they're making faces at me!

Patrick: Can we just get on with the trial?

Elycien: Okay... but does anyone remember what the trial is about?

Kacheek: I'm afraid of reminders!

Outside...

Kirby: This is fun!

Lawyerbot: Why can't I hurt him?

Lawyerbot then brings out a profile of Kirby from his suitcase.

Lawyerbot: Aha! He doesn’t know how to react to pain!

Kirby: Whee!

Lawyerbot: This guy's a real toughie.

Kirby: Toughie? No one hurts my feelings like that!

Kirby destroys Lawyerbot with one of his bombs.

Back in the courtroom...

Kacheek: Okay, let's make these closing arguments quick... the really long ones bore people to death... and I'm afraid of dying.

Invisible Man: Okay, um... Because I haven't been here to view the whole trial, I'll just make some closing argument that looks flashy. The guy over there is the guy who dun it!

The jury looks all around the room for whatever the invisible arm of the Invisible Man is pointing at.

Thundy (jury): You must be more specific!

Invisible Man: Okay... Eeny, Meeny-

Kacheek: NOOO! That's way too scary!

Invisible Man: -Miny, Mo, and you are... IT! Vyt is the one who dun it! And surprisingly enough, I know your name even though I just got here. And now for my flashy closing argument. According to the Lipo-Westrin-Mega-Shlooper, Vyt manipulated the Eco-Maniacal-Chrono-Time-Dimensionator to formulate the misdemeanor that seemed to have been caused by this guy in the front row... (to guy in front row) What's your name?

The guy in the front row whispers to Invisible Man.

Invisible Man: As I was saying, the guy in the front row, whose name is BillyBillyBobBillyBobJoeJoeBobBillyBobBobBillyBobJoe. Therefore, the transgression appeared to be the fault of BillyBilly-

Kacheek: Please don't say his name again, it's WAY TOO SCARY!!!

Invisible Man: Fine. It a ppeared to be the fault of this guy, when it really was... Kirby!

Jury: Ooooh and ahh!

Kacheek: The attorney was behind it all! GAH?! That's not right! Elycien, make your case before I get too scared.

Elycien: Thank you your honor. I would like to take the time here before the audience of the jury to make this statement.... cheese rocks.

NSQ (jury): Nu uh! Shinies are better! Stoopid!

Elycien: Thank you. I rest my case.

Patrick: (muttering) I've already lost.

Ikkin (jury): Oh no you haven't, Patrick! Look above you!

Patrick looks up, where he sees Dr. Scorchio in the court's rafters holding a megaphone!

Dr. Scorchio: That's right! I WAS INVISIBLE MAN! Since nobody could ever really see him, all I had to do was pitch my voice down there and I could make Rider look innocent! I WANT RIDER TO WIN!!!!

Dr. Scorchio disappears and is now on ground level.

Dr. Scorchio: Rider was innocent all along, but you guys were twisting the truth! Only I, as Invisible Man, could set things right! Rider didn't do it! RIDER WASN'T EVEN THERE!

Jury: WHAT?

Thundy: So that means Rider wasn’t even there and there was an imposter?!

Dr. Scorchio: Actually, Rider really was there, but I got caught up in the moment...

Kirby enters the court.

Kirby: Officer, book him!

Dr. Scorchio: But you just came here!

Kirby: But I listened outside the door for the past hour!

Elycien: But you've only been gone 29 minutes!

Thundy: I guess Kirby can’t tell time...

Officer: Come on, doctor! To jail!

Dr. Scorchio: NNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!

Officer drags Dr. Scorchio to jail.

Kacheek: Boy, was I getting scared about that whole affair! Anyway, let's continue where we left off. Jury, what are your thoughts on the case?

Ringo (jury): We, the jury, have decided that ALL YOU GUYS ARE NUTS, BONKERS, CRAZY-

Everyone else in the room: JUST GET ON WITH IT!

Kacheek: But that's too scary!

Stal (jury): Anyway, we've decided that everyone in this room will go to jail for three hours because that way it's impossible not to punish the guilty party.

Patrick: Wait a minute, the jury is in a different room than us.

---

0523ck said:

Wait, who is whose lawyer and why is everybody making objections!? XDD

brymax406 said:

0523ck said:

Wait, who is whose lawyer and why is everybody making objections!? XDD

I am Rider's lawyer and Elycien is your lawyer.

And everyone makes objections because the court loves making objections.

[nope]

Where am I??? XD LAWLZ

[Patrick (Forumerly Known As)]

brymax406 said:

0523ck said:

Wait, who is whose lawyer and why is everybody making objections!? XDD

I am Rider's lawyer and Elycien is your lawyer.

And everyone makes objections because the court loves making objections.

Oh, okay. Yay. I like Elycien. ^_^

Objections ARE fun.

[Rider]

[glow=red,2,300]Kirby, you are amazing. XDDDD

I'm innocent, I swear! *eats Patrick the way she ate the cheeseburger*[/glow]

[Patrick (Forumerly Known As)]

ridergirl333 said:

[glow=red,2,300]Kirby, you are amazing. XDDDD

I'm innocent, I swear! *eats Patrick the way she ate the cheeseburger*[/glow]

*sues you*

[nope]

*Watches*

[Deleted]

SPOILER: Click to show

EPISODE 2: NSQ VS TRACY

It was an average day in the NTWF Park. A woman fed the birds some seeds, when suddenly a large clattering sound was heard like several utensils falling to the ground. Then the ground shook as dust flew by. When she looked around, Tracy was lying on the ground in a horrible condition and NSQ was dancing on top of her. The Giant Enemy Crab was watching nearby on a bench. He was laughing a lot at whatever had just happened. The woman pulled out a cellphone and called the authorities...

A week has passed, and the witnesses are now in court. Tracy is suing NSQ for assault, with Patrick as the lawyer. NSQ is the accused, and has chosen Rider to be her lawyer completely at random. The judge is Pichu of course, who is looking forward to really anyone losing the case. In the jury are Kirby, Killix, a Badger, Ginz, and Mr. McPerson. Vyt is the Bailiff once again.

Pichu: Order! Order in the court!

Vyt: SILENCE!!!

The courtroom is silenced.

Pichu: Thank you. NSQ, you have been accused of assault and utter insanity, which you are undoubtedly guilty of. Tracy, are you feeling okay?

Tracy: Yeah, I’m fine.

Pichu: Alright. Now let's get this case underway. Rider, will you please call your first witness to the stand?

Rider: Why of course your honor. I call Tracy to the stand.

With a gulp, Tracy gets up and limps to the stand. She takes her seat and starts sweating nervously.

Vyt: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

Tracy: Yes...

Rider: Okay, Tracy, how about you tell the audience and the nice people who are helping this court get underway the way that the accident happened in your own words.

Tracy: Well, here's out it went...

The scene switches to a large park. Tracy is walking down the path whistling.

Tracy: I was walking, minding my own business... when suddenly, NSQ came!

NSQ, looking like a big bully and having huge muscles and sunglasses, jumps in front of Tracy.

NSQ: Hey there, squirt! Wanna know what time it is?

Tracy: I was scared, so I tried to run away. But she grabbed me from behind and beat me
into a bloody pulp!

NSQ beats Tracy up in a big cartoon cloud thingy.

Tracy: She then flung me into the concession stand, where I was crushed by several painful metal cooking utensils.

Tracy is thrown into the concession stand, which is blown up by a fiery explosion.

Tracy: After that I fell unconscious. That's all I can remember.

The scene is the courtroom again.

Pichu: Thank you, Tracy. I'm sure that's exactly how it happened because I just want to get this over with and watch my soaps!

Rider: Well, I call my next witne-

Pichu: Thank you, sit down please! I want to watch the latest in All My IQ!

Rider: Objection! I should have a chance to at least let NSQ win!

Pichu: Overruled because I want this to be quick!

Rider: Objecti-

Pichu throws a cream pie in Rider’s face.

Pichu: Patrick, you may now speak.

Patrick: Don't worry, Tracy. You'll win this case for sure! I call Tracy to the stand!

Tracy doesn’t move from her spot and continues to sit at the stand.

Patrick: Now Tracy, do you know why NSQ attacked you?

Tracy: I have no clue...

Patrick: Thank you. Perhaps it's because she enjoys attacking mods senselessly! I'm done with the witness.

Pichu: Tracy, you may sit down.

Tracy: Phew!

Tracy walks back to her seat.

Pichu: Patrick, will you please call the next witness forward?

Patrick: I call the Giant Enemy Crab to the stand!

The Giant Enemy Crab walks up to the stand.

Vyt: Do you swear to tell the truth and blah blah blah blah?

Giant Enemy Crab: Yup!

Patrick: Okay, Crab. Let's hear how you saw it happen.

GEC (I’m abbreviating): Glad to! Well let's see...

Another flashback thing.

Man: It's the Giant Enemy Crab!

Woman: Oh my gosh! It's him!

Everybody lies down in front of GEC, who walks over them.

GEC: As usual, everybody was treating me like a god. Suddenly, I heard a scream!

Tracy screams.

GEC: I ran to see what happened, and NSQ was beating up Tracy! I knew that was MY job to beat up people cause no one knows my weakpoint so they can’t deal massive damage, so I decided to give her a piece of my mind!

NSQ: Oh noes! It's the Giant Enemy Crab!

Tracy: I'm saved!

GEC: NSQ threw Tracy away instantly, but he hit the concession stand and it crumbled to the
ground! It was funny, so I laughed. Then, NSQ started begging for my mercy!

NSQ: Please don't hurt me! PLEASE!!!

GEC: I decided to go easy on her, so I shoved a beehive down her pants! I laughed as she ran away screaming. And that's exactly how it happened!

End flashback thing.

Patrick: Thank you, Crab... A little exagerated... but... interesting... I'm done with this witness...

Rider: Objectio-

Pichu: Overruled!

Pichu throws a can of beans at Rider’s head.

Pichu: Giant Enemy Crab, you may sit down.

He does so.

Pichu: Patrick, call your next witness.

Patrick: I call NSQ to the stand!

NSQ cheers and does a bunch of cartwheels. But she decides to sit somewhere else...

Pichu: NSQ?

NSQ: Nnnnyyeeesss?

Pichu: WOULD YOU GET OFF MY HEAD?!

NSQ jumps down and sits on the floor.

Vyt: Do y-

NSQ: SHINY LIGHTS FROM THE CEILING! THEY BLIND ME!!!

Vyt: ... Do you sw-

NSQ: SHINY LIGHTS FROM THE POTATO! THEY BLIND ME!!!

Vyt: DO YOU SWEAR-

NSQ: SHINY LIGHTS FROM THE TOMATO! THEY BLIND ME!!!

Vyt: SHUT UP!!!

Pichu: SHUT UP!!!

NSQ: Okay.

Patrick: Now NSQ, tell the court what happened.

NSQ: Yippee! Well, here's how it happened!

Flashback...

NSQ: I was walking down the river, when a musketeer popped up and challenged me to a fight! I threw some TACO MEAT at him and he flew away! Then I saw Tracy! I decided to give her a big hug! But then some aliens came and delivered a package to her! I wanted it too, so I fed her a ham! She then turned into a bowling ball and went flying into the concession stand, which had just earned the record in peanut LICKING!!! WOO HOO!!! It disappeared and Tracy died!

End Flashback...

Patrick: Objection! Tracy is still here!

NSQ: SHINIES!!!

Pichu: I know you're gonna lose, cause it’s too obvious. And what did I say about you sitting on my head?

NSQ: Whee!

Pichu: Patrick, any questions for our witness?

Patrick: Not really. It’s clear to us all now that NSQ is guilty.

Pichu: Alright then. Jury, what's your opinion?

Kirby: I'm still not sure who is guilty, but I know for sure that I’m leaning towar-

Pichu (to himself while Kirby is rambling): Ugh, no decision? I gotta end this quick... aha! I got it!

Kirby: So I’m still not sure who is-

Pichu flashes a 100 dollar bill to Kirby.

Kirby: NSQ is guilty!

Killix: NSQ rules! Tracy’s lying! NSQ is innocent! NSQ is not guilty!

Bader: ... Um... Tracy... she's innocent... because Judge Pichu would then throw food at me. So... NSQ is guilty!

Ginz: Sorry NSQ, but the facts point towards guilt! NSQ is guilty!

Mr. McPerson: I agree with everyone who said Tracy was innocent. Her acts remind me of Kirby’s acts when I had to teach him Kindergarten!

Kirby: Judge, I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!

Mr. McPerson: AAAAUGH! I almost lost my job because of Kirby and NSQ just brought back the pain! She’s guilty! Just end it all!

Pichu: Then it's settled. NSQ, you are sentenced to one day covered in cat fur!

NSQ: YIPPEE!!!

Pichu presses a button on his stand. Suddenly, the ceiling above NSQ opens and a load of cat fur falls onto her. She leaves the courtroom dancing.

Pichu: Case dismissed. I gotta catch the new episode of All My IQ!

Everyone leaves the room. Tracy gets five cents for winning the case and Pichu lied to Kirby, and he got really angry. Join us next time when somebody is suing somebody for a reason just to get money out of it.

THIS IS... JUDGE PICHU

[Sq]

Mwahaha. *eats Ginz's cupcakes* >D

I've only read the first 2, but... xD

YOU ARE RANDOM YAY! ^_^

[Patrick (Forumerly Known As)]

A new Judge Pichu! This time, a collaboration between Kirby and myself.
This time:

SPOILER: Click to show

Bailiff Vyt: All rise for the honorable Judge Pichu!

Judge Pichu waddles to the judge's seat, munching on an apple. He settles into the judge's seat and places the apple onto the side. He looks at the jury.

Judge Pichu: DON’T sit down.

Ikkin (jury): Um, sir-

Judge Pichu: I SAID DON’T!

Ikkin gulps and remains standing.

Judge Pichu: Now everybody hold still...

Patrick: Objection, your honor, the frivolity-

Judge Pichu: FRIVOLITY IS A MUST IN MY COURTROOM!

Patrick glares at Judge Pichu. Judge Pichu grabs the apple he was munching on and throws it at one of the jury.

Patjade: Ow! That hurt!

Pichu: Just practicing my food throwing aim. I need to throw something in the court!

Patrick: Can we please start the case?

Huggsy: Yeah, I’m psyched to totally win!

Pichu: Fine then. Now what is my case today?

Vyt: Nick is suing Carrie for illegally altering the DNA of their child.

Pichu: Which one?

Vyt: One Squieshie Jane Katherine Pookle McGonagall, sir! Huggsy is Nick’s lawyer and Patrick is Carrie’s lawyer.

Judge Pichu: Very well. Prosecution, make your statement!

Huggsy: Right. Well, we’re suing Carrie because she changed the DNA of her daughter, so now that, biologically, Squieshie is actually Patrick’s kid! That’s illegal!

Patrick: Objection, your honor! It’s perfectly legal!

Huggsy: Is not!

Patrick: I am much too dignified for your little games, sir!

Huggsy: ... Is not!

Patrick: ... Is too!

Huggsy: Is not!

Patrick: Is too!

Pichu: ORDER! ORDER IN THE COURT!

Patrick: Yes, your honor...

Patrick sticks his tongue out at Huggsy.

Pichu: Mr. Patrick, I believe that changing DNA without a certified license is illegal, but perhaps during court you can prove otherwise!

Patrick: I certainly can. DNA changing is perfectly commonplace! Take a look at Kiddo, for instance.

Pichu: Hm... yeah, that proves a lot...

Huggsy: Objection!

Judge Pichu: Overruled, fishy.

Patrick: Anyway, your honor, can we get on with the trial?

Pichu: Certainly. The defense may make their statement unless... well, they don't.

Patrick: Yes, your Honor. We plead not guilty.

Pichu: Okay. Mr. Huggsy, you may call your first witless to the stand. Then Patrick will cross-examine.

Huggsy: Sure. I call Nick to the stand!

Nick makes his way to the stand.

Vyt: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and all that jazz?

Nick: Yep!
Huggsy: So, Nick, what do you have to say for yourself?

Nick: What Carrie has done is illegal and I demand my child back!

Pichu: Ooh. Convincing.

Huggsy: That’s all Judge Person!

Patrick: Nick, are you aware of illegal acts done on your part?

Nick: I never did any illegal acts! Name one time!

Patrick: Let’s see... I'll be nice, and not mention any of the polygamy. That's easily bypassed by Title IIX of the NTWF Bill of Rights. How about the time you fled to Las Vegas and married a hussy? While you were still married to Carrie? Not only did she not consent, as Title IIX allows polygamy to be legal with the consent of at least 2/3rds of the current spousal units, but you ILLEGALLY married a hussy! The priest was an Elvis impersonator, and plus, you were well above the intoxication level and-

Huggsy: OBJECTION!

Pichu: On what grounds?

Huggsy: Lack of evidence! How do YOU know he married a hussy?

Patrick: Wrong! I have evidence all right!

Huggsy: Where? Where is there evidence of Nick and a hussy?

Patrick: Right here!

Patrick shoves photos under Huggsy's snout.



Nick falters at the stand.

Nick: Whe-where did you get those?

Patrick: Oh, I know a guy. But that's beside the point, Mr. Dogg-Lyon, isn't it? ISN’T IT?!?!

Nick: How do you know that THAT was the hussy? Hm?

Patrick: Err... the defense rests!

Huggsy: I rest my case.

Pichu: Very well. Defense?

Patrick: Yes, your honor! I would like to call Rider to the stand please!

Rider falls from the sky and lands at the stand.

Rider: Hey, why am I back in the courthouse?!

Pichu: You have been called as a witness.

Rider: No!

Patrick: You’re testifying!

Rider: I was very busy-

Patrick slips a $42 bill into Rider’s palm.

Rider: ... busy preparing my testimony!

Patrick: Testimonies aren’t prepared, you hussy!

Pichu: Order!

Pichu bangs the gavel.

Kirby: I am NOT a gavel!

Pichu: Shut up! Rider, present the case truthfully.

Vyt: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and all that jazz?

Rider: I guess!

Pichu throws a bag of popcorn at Rider.

Rider: Hey, thanks!

Pichu: Well, no one can think of a false story on an empty stomach!

Patrick: Rider, were you or were you not working illegally as a hussy in Las Vegas, Nevada, at the time of Nick’s divorce?

Rider: ... Maybe.

Patrick: I need an answer.

Patrick quietly conjures some Veritaserum and pours it on Rider's popcorn.

Rider: Hey, what was that?

Patrick: Oh, just some vodka sauce =D

Rider: Oh, okay.

Rider continues to munch on the pop corn.

Rider: So, yeah, I was in the Karmasino, when Nick came loping along...

FLASHBACK

Nick: Hey, any hussies wanna hook with a totally hawt dog?

Rider, Hu, Crystal, and Huggsy: Pick me! =D

Nick: Okay, you, with the red cape!

END FLASHBACK

Huggsy scratches his neck innocently.

Rider: It wasn’t a big deal, your honor...

Patrick: No need to call me “your honor”, Rider. Anyway, the evidence we have is inconclusive.

Judge Pichu: Zzz... oh... they stopped? Okay, cross examine.

Elycien suddenly bursts in the door with an envelope.

Elycien: PATRICK! I have further evidence!

Patrick quietly reads over the information, and then kisses Elycien.

Carrie: Hey!

Judge Pichu: Hey is right! She broke my door!

Patrick: Sorry. Anyway, your honor, the new evidence casts a whole new light on the subject! Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I ask you to please look at THIS!



The jury starts gasping and whispering “Nick is guilty!”

Huggsy: Okay, so Nick and Rider had a fling in Vegas-

Patrick: That ended in the birth of an illegitimate child!

Huggsy: No it didn’t!

Patrick: It sure did! ... Okay, so it wasn’t NICK’s child, but that’s off the point-

Pichu: Anyway, here we see evidence that Nick and Rider were in fact together in Las Vegas! And I still need a new door. Mr. Huggsy, you may now cross examine.

Huggsy: The prosecution rests, your honor.

Pichu: Too much proof! I knew it.

Pichu throws an orange at Huggsy.

Huggsy: Can I have a tangerine, please?

Pichu: No, I’m all out of fruits!

Huggsy: Okay. Let’s get the real case here. Carrie illegally fused Patrick’s DNA with Squieshie’s!

The jury starts gasping and whispering “Carrie is guilty!”

Patrick: No, she is not.

The jury silences.

Patrick: Nick’s refusal to pay child support and his unfaithfulness led to a successfully annulled marriage between the two. Therefore, the child was entirely Carrie’s to do whatever she wanted to do with it.

Huggsy: Okay. I would like to please call Squieshie to the stand!

Pichu: Very well. Get her here now!

Squieshie walks up to the stand.

Vyt: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and all that jazz?

Squieshie: Sure!

Huggsy: Is it true that your mother injected Patrick’s DNA into you, replacing that of Nick?

Squieshie: Yes, but-

Huggsy: And is is also true that Nick is your biological father?

Squieshie: Yeah, but-

Huggsy: No further questions.

Pichu: The defense may now cross examine.

Patrick: Hi honey!

Squieshie: Hi Daddy! ^_^

Patrick and Squieshie hug. Pichu bangs his gavel.

Pichu: I shall not tolerate this in the courthouse! Such manner is appreciated outside.

Patrick: Sorry. Yes, your honor! Now, Squieshie. Would you say Nick was a good father?

Squieshie: No. He liked to play Catch-the-Squieshie with his invisible friend with terrible hand-eye coordination.

Pichu: Terrible hand-eye coordination? That’s horrible!

Squieshie: I know!

Patrick: Were you happy when your mother divorced Nick and married me?

Squieshie: Oh, yes! Yes indeed!

Pichu: Does the defense rest its case?

Patrick: The defense does, your honor.

Pichu: Good!

Pichu bangs the gavel but it breaks.

Kirby: Ow!

Huggsy: Your honor, one last witness?

Pichu: Well... it does avoid the time that it takes to watch the last few minutes of the show before my favorite soaps... so go ahead.

Huggsy: I call Patrick to the stand!

Patrick, a bit, surprised, walks up to the stand.

Huggsy: Now, sir, is it true you married Carrie right after her divorce with Nick?

Patrick: Yes, it is.

Huggsy: Now, you seem to me like a very intelligent person-

Patrick: Thank you. If I weren’t under oath I’d return the compliment.

Huggsy: ... at any rate, did Carrie tell you how she felt about Nick?

Patrick: She did.

Huggsy: And what did she say?

Patrick: Unfortunately, Carrie is my client as well as wife, so that information is privileged.

Huggsy: Can I call Carrie to the stand, your honor?

Pichu: No, not enough time. Hurry up.

Huggsy: Fine. One last question, Patrick. Is it true that you truly, madly, deeply love Carrie... with all your heart?

Patrick: ... all my... all my what?

Huggsy: All your heart.

Patrick breaks spontaneously into roaring laughter.

Patrick: A HEART!? YOU THINK I HAVE A HEART?!?

Patrick’s laughter grows much louder and heartier.

Patrick: I’m a lawyer, Mr. Huggsy!

Huggsy: Um... I rest my case...

Pichu: You may now cross examine, defense.

Patrick: Um... okay.

Patrick: Now, Patrick, is it true that Carrie’s DNA splicing occurred in your presence?

Patrick: Why yes, Mr. Patrick, it is! Carrie did it perfectly and legally and-

Huggsy: OBJECTION!

Pichu: SUSTAINED! Now we do closing statements. Prosecution, yours first.

Huggsy: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, regardless of the illegalities that Mr. Dogg-Lyon has performed, Carrie has spliced the DNA of her child with that of a nonrelated adult. It is illegal.

Pichu: Defense?

Patrick: Ikkin, Pat, Stalos and other jury members, as you well know, Carrie had this marriage annulled. Therefore, Nick is no longer a true custodian of Ms. Pookle McGonagall, nor can he control what his ex-wife does. It was her choice, with the consent of Squieshie, and therefore, is LEGAL.

The jury goes to leave to ponder, but Pichu activates a button that locks everyone inside.

Pichu: Now, jury, you will decide who is guilty NOW. You have five minutes.

In the five minutes, Patrick and Carrie gaze at each other lovingly, with Squieshie making obviously repulsed faces. Nick and Huggsy are drawing violent caricatures of the defense, and Pichu is playing with some cheese.

Pichu: Has the jury reached a verdict?

Stal: We have, your honor.

Pichu: Well, WHAT THE HECK SAY YOU?

Stal: We, the jury, find the defendant, Carrie, not guilty on the charge of illegally splicing the DNA of her daughter.

Pichu: That’s all. All My IQ is on!

[Avery]

I winned! LIKE YAY.

[Sq]

... .... XDDDDDDDD

Wow. You are amazing? BAHAHAHAHA XD

[Patrick (Forumerly Known As)]

tiscarrie said:

I winned! LIKE YAY.

sytra said:

... .... XDDDDDDDD

Wow. You are amazing? BAHAHAHAHA XD

My skills at law own you.

[Deleted]

Guess what, punks? Another Judge Pichu is in the works. But this time, it's a case no one has seen before... but to wet your appetite, here's a sneak peek.

Vyt: ... Squiesh is to sue Zylaa for the theft of a set of cupcakes from a pawnshop run by Rider. Zylaa is to sue Squiesh on the same grounds. And Rider wants to sue them both for stealing from her shop.

Well there you have the case, no one's ever seen it before. You also got what the case is about. Now all you need to do is wait.