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Post by nope on Aug 25, 2007 10:27:55 GMT -5
Okay, I'm back earlier than expected. Chapter five WILL be done today.
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Post by nope on Aug 25, 2007 12:38:39 GMT -5
WARNING: If you get a weak stomach from the mentioning of corpses and dead stuff, talk to your doctor before reading this chapter. Roffle. Here it is. Sorry it took so long. It's extra long this time.
Chapter Five
We seemed to be sitting there forever until Gandalf’s eyebrows shot up his forehead and a small smile spread across his n00bishly wise face.
“Omg! Itz dat wai.” he said pointing a crooked finger down a dark stone hallway.
“He’s remembered!” cried MGA.
“No, but da smell iz not s0 bad down heer.”
“...”
We walked slowly down the hallway, for it was quite dark and with a companion count of 14, you can never be sure who you’re going to smash into.
The air became clearer and I guessed we had come into an open chamber.
“I weel n0w rizk moor lite” said Gandalf jamming a higher wattage bulb on his staff which illuminated the chamber.
“Wow.” breathed Vyt.
We where standing in a huge hall will giant stone pillars and arched ceilings.
It kinda looked like a bowling ally.
Gandalf’s staff lit up a crumbling doorway to another chamber.
Gimli ran al an alarmingly fast pace considering how short he was towards the threshold.
The other 13 of us followed him into the chamber only to find...
“Ugh! MORE dead stuff!” exclaimed Squiesh, poking at a mangled body with her bow.
Gimli was hitting his head on a stone tablet shouting “No!” over and over.
“Heer liez Balin, son ov Fundin, lord ov Moria.”
To be graphic, there was a cob webbed skeleton lying peacefully against the stone tablet holding a tattered old book which Gandalf extracted carefully handing me his staff and hat.
Gandalf opened the book and read: "'They hav takin da brige… an da 2nd hall, we hav barrd da gatez but cant hold dem for long. The grownd shakez.'"
I backed away slowly as the creeped music reached a crescendo.
“Dwums... dwums... in teh deep. We cant geddout, teh shadow moovz in da dark. We cant geddout...” Gandalf paused to create the effect.
“Theyr commin!”
The silence was broken by yours truly backing into a dead thing perched on the edge of a well. The dead thing tumbled into the well with resounding crashes.
Crash! Bwam! Krak! Crraaash! Boom... tinkle?
Each sound echoed for ages. Gandalf whipped around suddenly and grabbed the staff and hat out of my hands.
“Fool of a teenager! Throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity!” The same dangerous sanity flashed in Gandalf’s eyes again.
I took another step backwards and nearly fell into the well.
Then, a hideous roar echoed into the chamber, Boromir ran and shut the doors to the chamber as an arrow whizzed past his left ear.
Slamming the doors shut he whipped around.
“They have a cave troll, how nice.” he gasped sarcastically.
Yelping could be heard coming nearer.
“Prepare for battle!” shouted Legolas.
Tamia took out her sling shot,
Blace took out an atomic crayon,
Rikku and MGA took out kitchen utensils,
Vyt started singing,
Goosh waved his Cutlas,
Squiesh put an arrow to her bow,
and I wielded my silver spoon.
A small army bursted into the room.
The battle had begun.
Guts flew all over the place and stuff, the troll bursted in and started hacking at friend and foe.
I jumped onto the troll, stabbing it with my spoon, it shrieked in pain and threw me onto the floor.
I got up off the floor and my gaze wandered to Frodo the emo hobbit who was cornered by the troll.
Blace seemed to be seeing what I was seeing and threw a crayon at the troll but it was too late.
The troll had jabbed a spear into the little emo’s chest who keeled over.
I was annoying because everything turned into slow motion so it took me several minutes to run over to the fallen emo.
Eventually when I got to him I picked him up off the floor.
He was breathing.
“FRODO’S ALIVE!” I cried but few seemed to notice “But how Frodo?”
Frodo answered by unbuttoning his shirt to reveal...
“A girlie undershirt!” Exclaimed Blace who had just made his way over here “That’s what saved you?” He fell over and started roffle-ing.
It then came to my mind that the battle was over.
“2 da brige ov kaza-dum!!!!!” Screamed Gandalf as we all filed out of the chamber.
Boom! Boom! Boom!
We had entered the hall of stone when where heard a booming noise.
Then, from around the corner, stepped out a huge blazing creature that looked like Fraze.
An origami bird flew past my nose, narrowly missing me.
“OMG! RUNNNNNZ!!!” Shouted Gandalf.
And heck, we ran.
To be Continued
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Post by Fraze on Aug 25, 2007 13:10:55 GMT -5
*Crackup* EXCELLENT!
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Post by nope on Aug 25, 2007 13:17:08 GMT -5
Thanks. I'll try to write a chapter a day. Some may not be as inspiring as others but...
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Post by Rikku on Aug 26, 2007 14:38:16 GMT -5
What? No frying pan? XD Awesome part, tho.
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Post by nope on Aug 26, 2007 19:51:45 GMT -5
What? No frying pan? XD Awesome part, tho. Oh dang, sorry, I forgot the frying pans.
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Post by nope on Aug 28, 2007 12:27:16 GMT -5
Da thread ish dead *sob*
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Post by Shrimpy on Aug 28, 2007 14:50:52 GMT -5
Fwa'? Dead?! *mews* Noooo! It mustn't die; it's too funny! *slaps board with a Slushie* Wake up, silly thread! It was just getting to the good part!
By-the-who, nice work Ringo! 'Tis much fun to read. *nod-nod* ^^
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Post by Rikku on Aug 28, 2007 15:10:53 GMT -5
Noo! Resuscitation! Resuscitation! Fetch the zappy paddles!
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Post by nope on Aug 28, 2007 15:31:52 GMT -5
OMG o___________O
I think I'll write a chapter today.
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Post by Shrimpy on Aug 28, 2007 16:13:45 GMT -5
*zap'd* We have a pulse! It's alive!! =D
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Post by nope on Aug 28, 2007 16:48:15 GMT -5
*zap'd* We have a pulse! It's alive!! =D OMG! LURKER! *puts you in the story*
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Post by Shrimpy on Aug 28, 2007 19:38:14 GMT -5
OMG! LURKER! *puts you in the story* Myyr? Lurker? I just got here and posted way up there. *pokes few posts back* Oh well. Fine by me! =P
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Post by nope on Aug 28, 2007 20:01:07 GMT -5
Sorry everyone, Part six is in the works but won't be posted untill tommorow, sorry for the delay.
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Post by nope on Aug 29, 2007 10:28:50 GMT -5
SNEAK PEEK OF PART SIX OMG! ROOOAR!
“G0 bac 2 da shadowz!”
[insert roar here]
Gandalf now raised his sword and staff.
“YEW SHALL N0T PAZZ!” and he stabbed down at the stone of the bridge. HAH! And that's it for your sneak peek. It's pretty short, but trust me, I've written alot more than that.
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