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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2005 14:14:10 GMT -5
Chapter 1Don't thwack me for the cliffhangers!
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Post by Stal on Feb 13, 2005 14:16:31 GMT -5
...I see this as suffering from one of the major problems that Kat's NTWF story suffered from as well...
...the parts are WAY too short.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2005 14:19:07 GMT -5
...I see this as suffering from one of the major problems that Kat's NTWF story suffered from as well... ...the parts are WAY too short. So I'll make the next part longer, okay? Sorry if the parts are short... I suppose that'll add to the drama, right? *is ready to be thwacked*
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Post by Stal on Feb 13, 2005 14:21:12 GMT -5
So I'll make the next part longer, okay? Sorry if the parts are short... I suppose that'll add to the drama, right? *is ready to be thwacked* Ehhh...basically, the sum of all your parts put together could make it entirely one part. Try to draw it out. Short parts means less writing, less writing means only the bare minimum of things, and the bare minimum means the story isn't nearly as good as any potential it could have.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2005 14:22:14 GMT -5
Ehhh...basically, the sum of all your parts put together could make it entirely one part. Try to draw it out. Short parts means less writing, less writing means only the bare minimum of things, and the bare minimum means the story isn't nearly as good as any potential it could have. *nods head* I'll make the Chapters longer. And more detail. That'll help. *runs off to write Chapter 2*
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Post by Ginz ❤ on Feb 13, 2005 14:26:43 GMT -5
While I agree the chapter is too short, I think it's really interesting and you can make a great story out of it. I want to know what will happen next.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2005 15:14:48 GMT -5
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Post by puzz on Feb 13, 2005 23:25:13 GMT -5
Spiff story! Keep writing!
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Post by Deleted on Feb 15, 2005 15:29:33 GMT -5
Spiff story! Keep writing! And lucky for you, you got a small part.
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Post by hu on Feb 17, 2005 9:08:34 GMT -5
Hurry up and write more! And MORE! ^_^; I like them a lot... ::suspicion:: What spell?
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Post by Sammys at school on Feb 17, 2005 14:57:32 GMT -5
Hurry up and write more! And MORE! ^_^; I like them a lot... ::suspicion:: What spell? You must read to find out! I cannot tell you the rest! ;D
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Post by Zylaa on Feb 17, 2005 17:24:04 GMT -5
You must read to find out! I cannot tell you the rest! ;D But we can't read until you write more!
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Post by Deleted on Feb 17, 2005 18:03:53 GMT -5
But we can't read until you write more! Mwhaha! Er...*goes off to write*
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Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2005 12:18:06 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2005 12:18:58 GMT -5
Taking Over Me Chapter 4 Azarath Metrion Omega
“SAMMY!!” She fell. Sammy was pushed over the edge of the Tabloids, and she was falling to her death.
Or was she? “AZARATH METRION ZINTHOS!!!!” From her fingertips came black magic. It wrapped around the side of the Tabloids and pulled her up. Sammy jumped over the side onto the top platform. “You,” she said, narrowing her eyes at the hooded figure. The figure turned to escape but was blocked by the out-of-breath Luke.
“You ain’t going no where,” Luke said, smiling. The figure looked over from Luke to Sammy. “Luthos Megas!” Luke yelled. The figure was surrounded by energy and was blown backwards into Sammy. Sammy caught them and pulled their hood down. Her eye twitched.
“Zylaa,” Sammy said. “Why did you try to kill me?!” Sammy yelled. Zylaa looked up at Sammy. Blood trickled down from her forehead. “Pirate,” Sammy mumbled, throwing Zylaa to the side.
“We can’t just leave her here,” Luke said, walking over to Sammy. “She’ll tell Lady Jade.” Sammy sighed and smiled. She walked over to the pirate and pushed her over the edge of the Tabloids. Luke blinked. “Well I could’ve thought of that.”
“Then why didn’t you?”
“Just start saying your half of the spell.” Sammy nodded.
“Azarath Metrion Zinthos…” Sammy whispered.
“Taydr du dra Vunis…” Luke said in a full voice.
”AZARATH METRION OMEGA!!!” They yelled in unison. Black magic surrounded the two and filled the sky. Lightning struck, one by one, crossing the sky. Everywhere the lightning struck, the thread disappeared, and everyone in it was transported to the Tabloids until every thread except the Tabloids was gone.
****************
Lady Jade ordered a meeting the next day. Everyone attended. “It has come to my attention that the Splatterboard’s threads, except for the Tabloids, have gone missing.” Lady Jade looked around at everyone. “Either it’s a glitch, or we have an issue on our hands. A big issue.”
Erika looked around. “Where’s Snowflake?” she asked. Then everybody looked around, searching for Felicia. Nobody could find her. And then, the doors to Admin Alley burst open, and in came a worried Snowflake.
“Feli!” Sammy cried, trying to fit in with the crowd. “What happened?” Snowflake narrowed her eyes and marched over to Sammy.
“Don’t give me any of that stuff,” she said. “I saw you last night. You and Luke. You two are the reason why the Splatterboard is practically gone.” Sammy gulped.
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