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Post by Eggz on Aug 26, 2004 19:18:16 GMT -5
((Blub's got a girlfriend? *clings on hm anyway* XDDDD))
This thread IS old. Useful, though.
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Post by wolfofthewoods on Aug 26, 2004 19:58:49 GMT -5
Man, I love this.
Firstly, Stal, I respect you SO much for knowing that you're not just looking to fool around with people. You deserve someone who loves you so much, and, no matter what, it'll happen. Don't mull over what you haven't had-- none of it really makes a difference, in the end.
Second of all, guys and girls, DON'T just go out with someone because you feel bad for them/don't want them to be hurt. In the long run, it'll be a LOT worse to have had you leading them on. I feel so incredibly bad for my friend Pat, who asked out my friend Isa FIVE times before she finally said yes, because she felt so bad. She DOESN'T like him, and he just didn't get it. So now they're going out, and she's miserable, and he's being pulled along a rope. It's pretty horrid. x___x;
Thirdly... This is going to sound stupid... But... How do you know if someone really likes you for you when they tell you? Because... Well, I know people who've been completely crushed and humiliated by others who go out with them just because they want what they want and they don't care if it hurts someone. I NEVER want to be in a relationship like that (not that anyone DOES...). I know you can't help but be tugged into things sometimes, but still... *bites lip* Now I feel stupid-- I don't know when to trust people. :_____:
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Post by Kitties on Aug 26, 2004 20:45:01 GMT -5
For guys: Don't be vague. Us females like to take one simple sentence and overanylyze it to death. (At least, I do.) Say what you mean and mean what you say, or else you might be misunderstood. And whatever you do, never, Never, NEVER play games. As in, "I'm going to string you out and pretend I really like you just to make some other girl jealous, or to see if you like me, or just to be rude." Just... don't.
For girls: DON'T change for a guy. Being yourself is the only way to attract someone, so don't pretend to be into something you're not or wear clothes you don't feel comfortable in, just to gain a certain guys attention. if he doesn't like you the way you are, he's not worth your time.
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Post by Stal on Aug 26, 2004 21:34:44 GMT -5
Man, I love this. Firstly, Stal, I respect you SO much for knowing that you're not just looking to fool around with people. You deserve someone who loves you so much, and, no matter what, it'll happen. Don't mull over what you haven't had-- none of it really makes a difference, in the end. Meh. I don't know if it'll happen. After all, there's plenty of guys that live life as a bachelor and that may be the case for me. As I've said before, I'm more looking for someone in my particular church/religion (which is where most of my friends are, though spread across the US...) and all. Unfortunately there doesn't appear to be any in this area that I've moved to. I've pretty much given up on the Yui thing. In fact, I'm beginning to think perhaps I've done something wrong/offended her in someway. I've not heard from her in nearly four weeks...not even a thank you with the birthday present. Then again, her mom was very very kind to me yesterday when I called. Asked how I was doing and so forth. So maybe it's just busy-ness? That poor guy. ;_; You don't take them at their word for it until you can tell they mean it by their actions. Take a leap of faith and assume they mean it, but be watchful. See if the little things that would show they really mean it (and those are things no one can really tell you what they are...you can just tell when something is said or done and realize 'Hey, he really does care for me because I'm me.'" ). Just be careful and I wish you the best of luck.
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Post by Tahu on Aug 26, 2004 21:43:54 GMT -5
Advice for Fellow men: If you have a girlfreind, make sure you talk to her and see her. I forgot that once...
Still, I think it was all for the best. She dumped me, I greived for about an hour, and then soon enough someone else came along, someone else who I is now going out with...
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Post by Crystal on Aug 26, 2004 23:15:06 GMT -5
Crystal: It's ALIIIVE!!!!! I've never had a boyfriend ever. Not even someone who was intrested in me. So yeah, I'm pretty pathetic and not what you could call qualified to give advice... Advice to guys: For the love of God, stop being vague! Sometimes I think the guy I like likes me and sometimes he just ignores me. Don't hover back and forth, being polite and friendly and really nice to me one minute and totally ignoring me whenever I say anything the next... that's just annoying.
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Post by De-Butterfly on Aug 27, 2004 2:42:46 GMT -5
I don't know if these have been covered yet, but I'm going to say them anyways.... Guys, when you are out with a girl AND her parents (or just out with her), don't be talking about your past girlfriends or (and this happened to me) when you go to get money to pay for the meal start pulling out various slips of papers which have other girls' phone numbers on them. And this one is for everyone, don't be afraid to make the first move, sometimes it pays off, trust me.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 28, 2004 10:46:05 GMT -5
I have a lot to say...I read through most the pages, so hopefully none of it has been said in the few I didn't read.
First of all, Stal, from what I've read, you and I have a lot in common (sure is a shocker after the debate board, eh?).
Now, my advice:
Girls--
If a guy goes to open a door for you, but ends up getting in your way, don't get mad at him. Please. It's the thought that counts, right? I can't tell you how many times I've felt awful because I got in my crush's way when I was just trying to help. If you don't like chivalry, um...then still realize that he's trying to be nice!
If a guy smells bad, tell him. Not publically, "YOU STINK," but maybe a note or something. And tell him at the end of the date / school day/ work day / whatever. Otherwise he's going to feel uncomfortable the entire time. I can't smell, so I have no personal judgement over my scent.
Guys--
Don't give girls bathing supplies (soap, shampoo, etc.) as a present, no matter how expensive it is! She'll ask, "What? Do I stink or something?" Trust me, my dad got in trouble with my mom for this.
Girls--
You know that shy guy sitting in the corner, all alone? Talk to him. Don't be too nice. I've gotten crushes on girls because they've been nice to me, only to be heartbroken when I saw them at dances with other guys. In fact, I've been mislead so much, that now I'm so confused that I assume no girl likes me as anything more than a friend.
Both--
Don't befriend someone just to get help with your homework. One girl did this to me. Then when I was watching a video of a mock trial we did in class, she made fun of me at the end. I haven't helped her since.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 28, 2004 11:21:10 GMT -5
Wow. That's a lot. I'll read it through someday at school.
*sighs* No boyfriends. Only once asking out and got rejected. In fact, it was my FRIEND who helped me. I totally hate her now, she's such a sucker-up. *sighs again*
Anyway, here's the age-old advice: Do NOT let your friends ask people out for you. That just shows you don't have the courage to meet them face-to-face. Being rejected hurts, but at least you won't be remembered as a coward.
Does anyone have any advices for getting out of the status of single-ness?
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Post by Squirrelgirl on Aug 28, 2004 13:02:36 GMT -5
Does anyone have any advices for getting out of the status of single-ness? *would like to know too* We have dances and everything (I don't go to a co-ed school so I have to go to the other non-co-ed school dances), but the dances they do... erm... One girl described it as, erm, the way children are made with clothes on, and I have to agree with her. It's absolutely awful, and I'm not going to dance like that. I think I'm going to try to go to football games and stuff to meet someone, but I'm not a girl who'd get along with jocks...
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Post by Eggz on Aug 28, 2004 18:49:54 GMT -5
Does anyone have any advices for getting out of the status of single-ness? Well, I've never had a boyfriend, but I can give you a bit of advice (I helped my friend get a couple of boyfriends ^_^) If you like someone, don't be shy and just tell them. If you can't do it in person, then email them, call them, or something. But NEVER EVER EVER get your friend to do it for you, because 1) they might think that your friend is lying and they wont believe you because they think it's some kind of scheme to make them look stupid and 2) there is a chance they like your friend and if you get your friend to tell them, they'll feel kinda heartbroken and they won't like you. Also, if you think it's kinda like love-at-first-sight, just go up to them and say Hi, get to know them better. But don't do ANYTHING until you find out if they have a girlfriend/boyfriend first. If they don't, go ahead and ask for their email or their number. Maye you'll hang out sometime ^_^ (If they aren't single, ask if they got any friends they can introduce you to )
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Post by Crystal on Aug 29, 2004 9:45:15 GMT -5
This might seem a bit odd but I was kinda thinking a bit.
For Guys: When you say something... it's alright to talk about how you feel. Not as in 'I have a crush on you'... something... deeper, more personal. Don't be afraid to say how you feel. And please, oh please, don't talk to a girl like you were talking to her on the debates board - all factual. ^^ Unless you're debating. Talk to her and show that you mean what you say. It shows in your voice, look at her, don't... ahh.
Ah, what am I talking about? It's just that... it's hard to explain, I'm just more attracted to guys who... well, not in words, but in the way they phrase things or sound like I guess... I mean...
*bangs head* I can't put it in words! It's the way you talk, the way you phrase things, the way you act. Don't take yourself so seriously, don't put on that 'macho' act. Show your feelings. They aren't wrong. Don't talk in an 'away', factual kind of tone, like you're debating for something. I always wondered why for some guys I could never think of as more than a brother, and some I crushed on. It's the little things, the way you carry yourself, can you make me laugh, can you make me cry, can you make me what the Malay's phrase as 'terharu' - sort of wondering, touched, grateful?
It's the little things. I could name off the guys in this forum (at least the ones I've known for awhile) and neatly divide them into groups. Which one I could never think of as more than a friend, and which one, setting race, religion, other crushes, real life, and all that stuff aside, I could like ya.
And I probably didn't make ANY sense there....
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Post by Deleted on Aug 29, 2004 9:51:30 GMT -5
*would like to know too* We have dances and everything (I don't go to a co-ed school so I have to go to the other non-co-ed school dances), but the dances they do... erm... One girl described it as, erm, the way children are made with clothes on, and I have to agree with her. It's absolutely awful, and I'm not going to dance like that. I think I'm going to try to go to football games and stuff to meet someone, but I'm not a girl who'd get along with jocks... Those dances horrify me. It makes me wonder quite a few things: 1. Why is it allowed in school? 2. Where do kids learn to dance like that? 3. If they learn from MTV or VH1 or some other music video channel (I think I know which one for sure, but I won't say), then the FCC needs to take a look at that channel.
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Post by Eggz on Sept 23, 2004 19:21:28 GMT -5
*revives thread* Muahahhaa... someone can use some advice... *coughHuggsycough* <----(the whole reason I revived this thread )
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Post by Rishiy on Sept 24, 2004 17:47:43 GMT -5
Do not pinch my butt. Do not pinch ANYONES butt! It hurts ...
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