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Post by Winter Jewel on Nov 24, 2016 21:15:18 GMT -5
Only when I play video games does the sentence "A sea cucumber killed my Robin Hoot!" make sense. meanwhile i get stares from the rest of my family who have no idea what i'm talking about
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Post by Celestial on Jan 1, 2017 17:31:30 GMT -5
Talking to a visitor while she was waiting in line, just to keep people from being bored while they're waiting. Visitor: Hey, could you recommend me something? It's for my boss. He loves whisky and I want to get him a gift.Something strong and smoky, something that will knock him out. Me: There's [whisky] which is 60% alcohol and super smoky. If that doesn't do it, nothing will. Visitor: Perfect, thanks! This will kick my boss's [butt]! Me: And in the end, don't we all want to kick our boss's [butt]? *moment of realisation that I said this at work* And we promptly burst out laughing. She clarified she has a good relationship with her boss (hence why she's getting him a gift) and even if they were in earshot (they were not), I like my bosses and I think they would have understood I was only making small-talk with customers.
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Post by Ginz ❤ on Jan 11, 2017 16:06:53 GMT -5
I've been wearing my Hogwarts robes at home because it's been kind of cold and they're nice and loose-fitting over my regular clothes, so it's kind of like wearing a blanket around.
So my mom came into my room and looked at me and said in the most casual tone "Oh, are you leaving for school?" XD
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Post by Ginz ❤ on Jan 11, 2017 23:34:23 GMT -5
I've been wearing my Hogwarts robes at home because it's been kind of cold and they're nice and loose-fitting over my regular clothes, so it's kind of like wearing a blanket around. So my mom came into my room and looked at me and said in the most casual tone "Oh, are you leaving for school?" XD Follow-up, because it seems I posted too soon! XD When my dad got home from work: Dad: You were accepted into Hogwarts? Me: Yes! Dad: What house are you in? Me: Hufflepuff! (even though my robes are lined in red for Gryffindor, but listen, do you know how hard it is to get Hufflepuff merch? ;-; )
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Post by Liou on Feb 11, 2017 13:04:07 GMT -5
"Our cat-loaf has baked itself into a cat-doughnut."
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Post by Bacon on Mar 12, 2017 15:47:32 GMT -5
So, the other day I was watching a movie on TV when I remembered a series of YouTube videos I was meaning to watch more of. So I start watching it on my phone. My mom comes home shortly after, and the following conversation ensues: Mom: What are you watching? Me: *trying to think of how to describe it* Uh, well, there's this guy on the internet who criticizes movies, and there's this other guy who criticizes the first critic. Calling out incorrect or untrue statements, pointing out stuff he missed... Mom: ...what's it called? Me: Uh, "Everything Wrong with 'Everything wrong with...'" whatever. *long pause* Mom: And it has Robert Redford in it? It was at this point I realized she'd been asking about what was on the TV, not what was on my phone.
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Post by Killix on Mar 27, 2017 2:09:03 GMT -5
Phish and I were discussing Disney princesses.
Me: And the princess from Brave... what was her name again? Mer-something? Phish: Meridell? Me: *cracks up* That's Neopets!
This was especially hilarious because Phish hasn't even looked at anything Neopets since, like... 2003.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 27, 2017 15:32:38 GMT -5
A friend of mine is in a ceramics class and we had a really interesting conversation about breaking pots:
Him: So I broke three pots today. Me: So is this like in Mulan... *sings* Let's get down to business to defeat *makes hand motion to indicate breaking pots with staff* THE HUNS? Him: Uhhhhh.... Me: Or was it more like a legend of zelda thing? Him: No. I was trying to make them original and they broke. Me: My friend. Never try to be original.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 29, 2017 18:46:23 GMT -5
In my democratic theory class: Student: So most liberals and conservatives-- Professor: Let's keep politics out of this. Got me a chuckle.
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Post by Gelquie on Mar 30, 2017 17:04:41 GMT -5
So I hear rough commotion downstairs. I rush down.
Me: *Calling out.* [Dog], what are you doing?! *Gets down and sees my mom rummaging through something.* Me: ...Oh. You're a human. ...*Walks back upstairs.*
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Post by Omni on Mar 31, 2017 23:43:48 GMT -5
Text messages. B: How are you? Me: Enjoying making myself sad. (I was drawing sad fanart. I love the wacky part of my creative side.)
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Post by Bacon on Apr 3, 2017 21:24:32 GMT -5
Watching a movie.
Mom: He looks a lot like Hugh Jackman, doesn't he? Sister: ...that is Hugh Jackman.
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Post by Allison on Apr 10, 2017 20:54:07 GMT -5
Saturday I took my car in for an oil change. The mechanic I use is right by a busy service road and surrounded by really busy intersections with no side walks. So there's no easy place to walk. The following conversation took place. Customer: Boy. There is no place to walk around here, and no side walks! Me (pointing to service road behind us): Yep. I call that one the Kamikaze Run. Him: It's like Frogger, but you only have one life!
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Post by Rabbit ♠ on Apr 20, 2017 11:10:43 GMT -5
Suitemate: BASIL IS BETTER THAN GUYS.
(Long story. XD)
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Post by Celestial on May 7, 2017 13:17:18 GMT -5
Me: "You are stupidly cute, you know that?" Dormouse: "I know that. 8D"
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