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Post by June Scarlet on May 9, 2017 11:04:39 GMT -5
Flyer on my college's bulletin board:
Low standards much?
Bonus quote! Same Flyer:
And there's the little phone number tabs hanging on the bottom. Four are torn off, hopefully they aren't lying about the serial killer thing.
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Post by Shinko on May 16, 2017 19:19:58 GMT -5
This one comes from work the other day- was talking to a coworker of mine from Puerto Rico.
Him: *trying to reach a high shelf* "This would be so much easier if I were Mr. Incredible." Me: *chuckles* "I think you mean Ms. Incredible, Elastigirl. She was the stretchy one." Him: "What? No. Mr. Incredible. You know, of the Fantastic Four." Me: *blinks* "...You mean Mr. Fantastic?" Him: "Oh is that what he's called in English?Doesn't it mean the same thing?" Me: "The words mean the same but those are two different names of two different superheroes. XD Mr. Incredible is a character from the Pixar movie 'The Incredibles.'"
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Post by Yoyti on May 28, 2017 23:13:37 GMT -5
Heard in green room today:
"I feel like everyone here just, like, knows opera." "Well, it is an opera company..."
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Post by Twillie on Jul 15, 2017 11:12:21 GMT -5
Finished my shift at work, and I'm talking to the store manager on the way out.
GM: Don't go to any wild parties tonight!
Me: Yeah, sure
GM: But if you do, I want to see it on the news!
XD
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Post by Celestial on Jul 27, 2017 12:17:33 GMT -5
Today the two curators at the museum were working in the building's library, where I usually am. So we got talking. At some point I mentioned that I want to do a Master's degree in museum studies and work in museums. So this was later in the conversation.
Curator 1: *while doing a difficult thing* After this, [Curator 2] we need a cup of tea. Me: Tea solves everything. Curator 2: There you go, you're already qualified to work in this industry! [beat] Do you have a selection of fancy scarves? Me: Yes. Curator 1: Do you also own a lot of cardigans? Me: Hand-knitted by my grandma. >_> Curator 2: You're in.
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Post by Gelquie on Feb 10, 2018 0:31:28 GMT -5
Having conversations with two people.
Friend 1: *Talking about problems with their friendships.* Friend 2: *Gets an unrelated injury that results in blood.* Oh, dangit... *Fussing with it.* Me: Add pressure to it. ... ...That was medical advice, not social advice.
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Post by Shinko on Feb 24, 2018 10:08:08 GMT -5
Consequences of working the service desk at a library that sees literally hundreds of people daily worth of foot traffic; Person I don't in the least recognize: "Oh hey, did you get your hair cut?" Me: "...Ah, yes, yes I did." Person: ^^ "It looks nice!"
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Post by Celestial on Mar 4, 2018 9:31:05 GMT -5
Context: My mum invented a game with Dormouse where Dormouse is being chased by an "eagle" (my mum) but at the last minute, Dormouse can go "rawr" to scare the "eagle" away. Dormouse loves it.
Me: *noticing my mum is getting tired* [Dormouse], can I be eagle? Dormouse: No! You can be a dragon!
;.; You get me, small human.
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Post by Gelquie on Apr 14, 2018 20:13:25 GMT -5
I'm volunteering at an event where I'm showing demos and explaining science concepts to kids. Since my department is meteorology-related things, we're talking about that.
A very minor medical question crops up in response to one of the colder experiments.
Me: [...] That's what happens when you touch that. But don't take my word for it, I'm not a doctor. But I am a scientist. Kid: You're a scientist?!
((I explained to the kid; they were young. But those moments.))
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Post by Gelquie on Jun 7, 2018 0:48:39 GMT -5
((Double-post, but it's been a while, so.))
I was at a Renaissance Faire the other day, and there are a few factions setting the plot of the Faire. I was in the area of the middle-eastern themed faction, and I was waiting in line to see the leaders so I could do a task. There were these two guards at the entrance whose job was to basically indicate when one could go in or out. While I was in line, a different guard moved to trade shifts with one of the guards at the post, but it needed confirmation.
Posted Guard: What's the password? Trading Guard: *softly* I believe in you. *The trade was established.*
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Post by Shinko on Jun 10, 2018 15:57:30 GMT -5
Me: *Sitting at the service desk at the library*
Lady: *Walking past with her kid*
Kid: *In a dramatic stage whisper* How come everybody's doing work?
Lady: *softly* Because they have to do their homework.
Kid: *stage whisper* Homework?
Lady: *softly* Yes. We have to be respectful.
Kid: *Stage whisper* Oooooh. *They walk out the door, and as it is still closing behind them* BUT NOW WE CAN BE LOUD, RIGHT MOMMY?
Cue muffled laughing from all of the desk staff.
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Post by Twillie on Jun 19, 2018 22:34:16 GMT -5
I work the social media among other things as an officer for one of the university organizations I'm a part of, and I've started a week long series introducing all the new officers including me for this next semester. I also had a meeting with them all today, where we had this brief tangent:
Other Officer: Yeah I can talk about recruitment and retention.
Adviser: *laughing* Or do you mean recruitment and redention?
Other Officer: *laughs*
Me: Wait, did I make a typo??
Other Officer: No, you didn't spell it wrong-
Me: (internally) Whew =D;
Other Officer: Just in a special way.
Me: D=
(and as a side note, the typo I made was even waaay worse than they made it out to be xDD)
Also, as I was driving back home today, it had gotten dark and my brain was starting to get sleepy, and on the side of the road there was an abandoned car. In the moments when I couldn't make out what its dark form was though, of all the possibilities, my first thought was "Giant spider??" It's a good thing I'm in bed now xD
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Post by Deleted on Jun 20, 2018 1:15:25 GMT -5
This guy was talking to me, and tells me:
Him: I'm looking for a surrogate mother, I want to have a baby. Me: Hm? I'm sorry? Him: Are you available for mothering a child for me? Me: Uhhhh... *nervous laughter* Nah, no thanks, I think I'll pass. Him: Do you feel honored by me asking that? Me: Uh... I mean, it's... Weird.
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Post by Celestial on Nov 13, 2018 9:37:17 GMT -5
Overheard in my office:
Co-worker: (To another co-worker) I am threatening you with emotional support.
And if that's not the most wholesome threat I ever heard, I don't know what is.
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Post by Breakingchains on Nov 27, 2018 13:09:39 GMT -5
Quotes from customers this morning:
"$600 for a phone? I'd rather buy a bunch of carrier pigeons. If THEY stop working, you can eat em."
"Wait. You can plug other stuff in the same place you charge it?... Well knock me out the saddle!"
Edit: Oh, and a lady said "I'm looking for THIS" and hands me a chicken-scratch note that I eventually deciphered as:
"MINDCRAFT NINTANDO IF IT DON'T SAY NEW"
(I eventually figured out this meant the kid whose slurred request she was transcribing specifically wanted classic Minecraft, and wanted her to avoid Story Mode.)
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