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Post by Allison on Oct 22, 2020 18:46:29 GMT -5
Oh, absolutely. We NEED something like this in this crazy, COVID world. And I agree with the others. A suggested topic prompt, but obvious wouldn't have to be used.
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Post by Gelquie on Oct 22, 2020 19:04:09 GMT -5
In regards to PMs being scary, the way I see it is, so long as you're not acting in bad faith or unsavory conduct (which no one here should be doing anyway), your PM will probably be fine.
And if you do find yourself on the other end of bad unsavory conduct, this is a friendly reminder that you can contact your local mods to help you sort the issue and/or give swordfishes. If the unsavory conduct is from a mod, contact a different or a more powerful mod and the mod will get a fishslap too, for no one is above the law, and mods should not be doing that anyway.
(I don't honestly expect anything bad, this is just a Just in Case.)
Now then!
Hmm, November 1st comes right on the heels of the end of Trick or Treat. But if people can manage that, I'm okay with it, as it's a clear time to start.
Any if I come up with more icebreaker suggestions, I'll let you know! ...Ohwait, I may have just gotten one.
A cute animal picture/video to talk about/discuss.
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Post by Kozma on Oct 22, 2020 19:07:52 GMT -5
This is something I'd like; sign me up, please!
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Post by Allison on Oct 22, 2020 21:57:51 GMT -5
...Ohwait, I may have just gotten one. A cute animal picture/video to talk about/discuss. Ohmygoodness. I have tons of these!! At work, since Easter, I've been doing a "Midweek Smile" email for my coworkers, and it's a cute/funny animal picture, sometimes with a personal story attached, sometimes with interesting facts about the animal, and sometimes it's just pictures. So... warning. Whether or not this is deemed an "official" ice breaker, you will all probably get a cute/funny animal picture from me at some point. That is, assuming that can be done in PMs.
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Post by Birdy on Oct 22, 2020 22:16:55 GMT -5
Hmm, November 1st comes right on the heels of the end of Trick or Treat. But if people can manage that, I'm okay with it, as it's a clear time to start. Yeah, I was wondering if the overlap may be an issue. (And I most certainly don't want to "take away" from that, so to speak!) In all honesty, I'm cool to start whenever - waiting until after ToTing is fine with me. ^^
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Post by Celestial on Oct 23, 2020 4:26:04 GMT -5
Sign me up for this, this sounds like it could be cool. =D November 1st is a fine deadline for me, but I'm content with anything.
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Post by Thorn on Oct 23, 2020 4:54:02 GMT -5
Hmm, November 1st comes right on the heels of the end of Trick or Treat. But if people can manage that, I'm okay with it, as it's a clear time to start. Yeah, I was wondering if the overlap may be an issue. (And I most certainly don't want to "take away" from that, so to speak!) In all honesty, I'm cool to start whenever - waiting until after ToTing is fine with me. ^^ I'll be running Spirit Weeks shortly after ToT as well, but that's pretty low-commitment for participants and should run fine alongside PM-a-friend (might even give folks extra stuff to talk about!)
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Post by Liou on Oct 23, 2020 5:00:31 GMT -5
Thanks Birdy, tentative is fine.
Aside from icebreaker topics, what would really help me dare to join is an example of the format and structure of such PMs, to get an idea of the tone, the length that is expected. How much do you mention about yourself, offline, online, how many paragraphs does it take to introduce yourself, generally how many messages you send in one round and how frequently... etc. I know Anything Is Fine because you're all very lovely accepting people, but I've never done this before, and I don't have the faintest idea how to do it or how it's been done or what's already been deemed fine before, which is why I'd really appreciate some faint ideas.
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Post by Ginz ❤ on Oct 23, 2020 13:08:40 GMT -5
Thanks Birdy, tentative is fine. Aside from icebreaker topics, what would really help me dare to join is an example of the format and structure of such PMs, to get an idea of the tone, the length that is expected. How much do you mention about yourself, offline, online, how many paragraphs does it take to introduce yourself, generally how many messages you send in one round and how frequently... etc. I know Anything Is Fine because you're all very lovely accepting people, but I've never done this before, and I don't have the faintest idea how to do it or how it's been done or what's already been deemed fine before, which is why I'd really appreciate some faint ideas. To be honest, my experience in PM-A-Friend has been very varied, depending on who I got paired with... I've gotten people who like exchanging short PMs, and I've had conversations that start short, but turn into textwalls back and forth. I've had pairings where we respond to each other like twice a day, and I've had partners who were busy and sent a PM every few days. I know this isn't very reassuring as to How To PM-A-Friend, but what I mean to convey is that... there really isn't any Set Expectations. I went through my PM inbox, and here are a couple of examples of real PMs I've sent for this event before, if that helps: Those first two were for people I knew/had talked to before, but this is an example for a person I wasn't very acquainted with: Of course, this is just MY style. How much you share about yourself, and what you talk about is completely up to you and what you're comfortable with. I usually just play it by ear. I know "Be Yourself" is an annoying piece of advice, but it's the best one I have.
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Post by Birdy on Oct 23, 2020 17:22:11 GMT -5
Yeah, I was wondering if the overlap may be an issue. (And I most certainly don't want to "take away" from that, so to speak!) In all honesty, I'm cool to start whenever - waiting until after ToTing is fine with me. ^^ I'll be running Spirit Weeks shortly after ToT as well, but that's pretty low-commitment for participants and should run fine alongside PM-a-friend (might even give folks extra stuff to talk about!) Ooh, yeah - I was thinking Spirit Weeks was coming up soon too, thanks for the reminder! Yeah, I don't want to take away fromt hat either. x3; But if they'd run fine together (andyes, give conversation topics!) then that works for me. ^^ (True! Could ask why that person chose what they did, or for more information on it, or the like.)
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Post by Thorn on Oct 23, 2020 18:50:27 GMT -5
Yeah, exactly! They're totally different events, and being able to talk about your 'costumes' seems a really cool idea if a pair otherwise don't know each other very well!
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Post by June Scarlet on Oct 23, 2020 18:50:41 GMT -5
Okay, I have a question about format. Who is responsible, of the two assigned people, to make the first post in a PM thread? Do people have a preference about being the first or not being the first?
Personally, I'm okay with either role, but if you're nervous about PMing someone, I could see it being easier not to be the one to break the ice.
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Post by Ginz ❤ on Oct 23, 2020 19:55:59 GMT -5
Okay, I have a question about format. Who is responsible, of the two assigned people, to make the first post in a PM thread? Do people have a preference about being the first or not being the first? Personally, I'm okay with either role, but if you're nervous about PMing someone, I could see it being easier not to be the one to break the ice. I would say whoever sees the pairing post and has some time to spare to write a PM first? When in doubt, go for it! I can definitely understand being nervous to be the one to start the conversation, though. It can be pressuring or difficult to think of what to say. Maybe people who would rather not be the first can specify it? It would be awkward if two people get paired up and both get stuck waiting for the other person to PM first...
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Post by Gelquie on Oct 23, 2020 22:02:45 GMT -5
Yeah, I feel this can combine well with Spirit Weeks. With regards to ToT closing up, if people feel like they can field a PM starter conversation while ToT is closing, then I have no objections to starting on the 1st. ^^
Regarding who first to send, maybe the first one to see it could just give a starter one that's kinda short, and then do another post from there? I dunno. Maybe one could just start with one of the icebreakers, if nothing else. ^^
As for style and format and such, I... honestly don't really think about it too much, so I don't really know how to answer that. Besides to echo what Ginz said. I can't really generalize it because everyone's speech patterns are so different. And I understand them to be so. With people I talk to a lot, I can pick up on it quickly, but with others, it may take me time to pick up on theirs and adapt to it if needed. And that's okay, I think. Part of this is breaking the ice with people we may not talk to often. So I understand it's going to be different with each PM partner, and may require a bit of adjustment time at the start. When in doubt, one could start short, and see if the other goes longer? Or directly ask how long of conversations they're comfortable with, per person.
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Post by Twillie on Oct 23, 2020 22:36:47 GMT -5
I think I'll give this event a try again! I remember a few years back I had trouble keeping up with it, but this year I might take it easier (back then I think I got too caught up in text walling) and more casual :3
Imo, there shouldn't be anyone responsible or obligated to make the first post. It'd just be whoever gets to it first, really xD The fact that one signed up for an event like this gives the assumption that you're comfortable making and sending PM's to some degree in the first place, so starting a PM thread also wouldn't be a big deal.
I can't really give advice for actual PM format, in part just because I don't have as much experience with this event. I can give an old examples from one of the threads I did chat in: ^This was my first post for this particular conversation, and replies got a little longer after that, although it kept to about two paragraphs on average on my end.
Also, on the topic of starting the threads, this was also how that conversation first started out: Super simple!
Length of conversation varied. Like, longest thread I was in had 9 replies, shortest had 2 (althoughthat was a result of me being unable to sustain participation, I wouldn't consider that normal xD;). I can imagine conversations can go for even longer, depending on how well you click with someone. There's no magic number on how many replies or words a substantial conversation needs, so I'd just say keep expectations realistic to what you know your limitations are, writing speed and time-wise. Don't feel like you need to pump too much into a conversation, else you'll burn yourself out quickly like I did xD
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