NTWF Mafia II: The Idyllic Village of Wafflenet

[Mostly Harmless (flufflepuff)]

Fluffle struggled, but her legs would not move on their own--and it wasn't her fluff that was weighing her down.

Suddenly, she felt an upward push from underneath her. Hands. Human hands. Her lost love and Alex were human. Then again, pretty much all her friends were human...

Fluffle looked around. A lady in a tinfoil hat helped her up, and handed Fluffle an oddly-enough-shaped-like-icing tinfoil hat.

Fluffle's ears perked up. Not only was this hat BUILT FOR PONIES, but she was being given what looked like a part of Tracy. She always had tinfoil hats around, just like Fluffle and her fluff.

Being given a part of Tracy was special.

Of course, Fluffle did extend the same kind of offering when her fluff accidentally got caught in her cupcakes, but some people never noticed, and ate it anyway.

Fluffle opened her mouth, wondering what tinfoil would taste like...


"Stay safe! Oh--and don't eat it, if you can. It's better on the head where it can diffuse at least a little extraterrestrial influence. That's important, you know?"

Don't eat it? Well, it was special enough for her to eat, but Fluffle recalled being frowned upon for eating gifts before. Fluffle nodded, her ears hanging on to the hat well.

Extraterr...? What could that mea--Ah--yes. Fluff lice. Not that she'd had a case in years. Fluffle smiled at Tracy, glad to find someone who understood her.

With oversized eyes that only a cartoon artist could get away with, Fluffle handed Tracy the giant sack of fluff in return.




There was more than enough fluff to donate to the Salvation Taco.


Behind her rang out a bloodcurdling scream. Fluffle turned around to see Julie and....a strangely familiar ghostly figure...

No. It couldn't be him.

[Ginz ❤]

Ginz Mahb Maphia had woken up very early that day and started working on a new growth potion for her vegetables without a moment to lose. Whenever things got tough, Ginz liked to throw herself into what she loved and ignore everything else. It was her way of escapism. It helped her remain sane by keeping her mind off of any bad things, and focusing only on her real passion: Science.

She reviewed the results from her last experiment and concluded she had been going about it the wrong way. What was she thinking, using human-synthesized chemicals? No, this time she had to make it completely organic. That was nature’s way.

She decided to call Penny, hoping she could give her some ideas as to how to proceed. Her sister might not be a scientist, but she was the most creative cook Ginz had ever met. Brewing a perfect tea blend and a perfect growth potion couldn’t be so different, after all.

She dialed her number and waited. The phone rang once. Twice. Three times. Why wasn’t Penny picking up? It was very unusual. Had she overslept? Had she gone out? She let the phone ring a total of eight times before hanging up.

She took a quick glance inside the bedroom and saw Dan was still asleep. She wanted to tell him about her call to Penny, but she didn’t have the heart to wake him up on basis of nothing but a hunch that something bad might have happened.

She grabbed her coat and hurried out of the house. She needed to find Penny. In retrospect, she should have left a note so Dan wouldn't worry, but she wasn’t thinking straight. Penny was the only thing in her mind. Family came first for her, and she had to make sure her sister was okay.

She was on her way to Penny’s house (which was also her coffee shop) when she saw a crowd gathered outside of Waffles, No Nets. Apparently, Mony had been killed last night. There was even talk about him being a mafia supporter, something about some letters she had written. Ginz couldn’t believe it. She had lived in Wafflenet all her life, and Mony had always been a constant presence in town. She could hardly imagine the place without him.

Ginz felt a cold shiver down her spine thinking that the mafia was still loose and committing crimes, but also, strangely, she felt relieved. If Mony had been killed, surely her sister was safe and sound. She looked around, trying to find Penny among the crowd. This is where she must be. She must have heard about Mony’s death and came down to see for herself. That’s why she hadn’t picked up. She wasn’t home when Ginz rang her. She had worried for nothing.

Penny was still nowhere to be seen, but Ginz hadn’t lost hope. And then she heard it.

"Penny is dead!" someone shrieked "And we don't just have the mafia in town anymore! It seems as if we now have a serial killer, as well!"

No.

No, it couldn’t be.

No, it wasn’t happening.

Ginz wouldn’t believe it; she refused. She broke apart from the crowd and headed directly to Penny’s, but when she got there, she found the door closed. The coffee shop was never closed during the day. She didn't need to see Penny's dead body. That was enough confirmation for her. She wanted to get away from all this, but she was frozen on the spot. It was like her legs had stopped working. Ginz had tough skin as a result of growing up with Melvin. She didn’t like to be vulnerable. She liked to appear strong and undefeatable. But this was too much. She stumbled back and fell. She didn’t bother trying to get up, she broke down in incontrollable sobs. It had been a long time since she let herself cry like that.

Ginz didn’t know how much time passed before she was able to pick herself up. Her cheeks were flushed from crying, but at least the tears had stopped streaming down her face.

A mob was gathering just like the day before, insisting on making the ones responsible for the deaths pay for their crimes. Ginz stood at a safe distance, listening in to the accusations. She had to make sure no one else she cared about got hurt that day. The crowd seemed convinced that Alex Louis Rockefeller was the main suspect. She was saddened, as she didn’t want to see any more deaths, but for the second time that day she was strangely relieved. Penny’s death was already more than she could take, and she didn’t really know Alex.

She then got as far away from the mob as possible. She had no interest in participating in it at all. She felt numb. Killing whoever had done this to Penny wasn’t going to bring her sister back. Or anyone else, for that matter.

[Avery]

After ordering at the bakery, Britknee wandered back out into the town square... and was promptly horrified as the town like, totes executed another person! It was that Alex guy, who like, Brit thought lived at the rock farm next door to her scary dairy farm. She didn't really know him-- nor did she like, really want to-- but any death was bad death, according to Brit. Cos like, people should aspire for peace and unicorns and rainbows! You can't solve murder with more murder! So why were these dumb country bumpkins trying to do so!?

And then, like, from nowhere, as Brit stood in the town square after Alex's execution, she noticed a real life wolf streak across the town centre and like, maul some guy! What! Ok, actually, the wolf didn't seem to be mauling, just licking, but maybe it was just tasting its victim first! Ummm, that was totes not ok, jeez! What kind of crazy person walked a wolf around town!?

As the owner-- that yelly lady-- apologized profusely and started to lead the wolf away, Brit made a rash decision to tear after them. Cos like, there were enough deaths in this town without rogue wolves frolicking about off-leash! She needed to give this Blaze woman a piece of her mind before her carelessness led to like, wolf attacks! That was the last thing this town needed, dangit: extra death. Plus, like, what if the wolf came up to her and like, ate Snuggles!? That would be awful, even worse than people death!

"Umm, excuse me!" Brit called after Blaze. "Like, control your stupid beast, you crazy person!"

[icon]

And suddenly Mick was there, right in front of him, menu extended. Osi panicked, looked around, what could Mick possibly want with him, visions of guns and knives raced through his mind--

"Can I get you anything?"

Oh. Oh. Oh right. He wanted food, Osi was here for food, that made sense. He slumped back relieved. Yes, he wanted food. Nod. Nod. Nod nod nod keep nodding keep nodding keep nodding keep nodding stop nodding stop nodding too much stop-

Osi realized that he was gripping his head to keep it from bobbing up and down again. His neck twitched involuntarily before he stopped, untensed his shoulders, what was he thinking he needed to calm down. Food. Food would help.

He took the menu Mick put forward and unfolded it slowly, slowly, eyes run across the page. Set it down gingerly, turn it so he can read. Point here, move finger down, point to that as well; a small waffle, a mug of tea. After a moment's pause, he looked back up at Mick and sheepishly pointed upwards, grinning a small grin. He needed to stay calm, stay cool, stop stressing about the dead and the mafia and the killers in this town okay breathe breathe breathe calm down. He exhaled, and pointed roofwards again.

It wasn't the Shipshape Shop, but he needed something to unwind, and birdwatching would help; he'd never been on the roof of Waffles, No Nets before. Maybe he would see something new from this vantage point, if Mick didn't mind an errant customer on the roof.

[~The Witness~]

He/she knew.

He/she knew who was behind this whole mess, this catastrophe, this horror that had struck Wafflenet. He/she had the knowledge to put a stop to this.

The only trouble was, could he/she get up the nerve to do it?

He/she sat in the corner of his/her room late at night, plotting and planning, mulling over how best to reveal his/her hand. He/she grabbed a beer bottle--the sixth one of the night--and swallowed it down. He/she needed the alcohol to keep him/her sane.

How could he/she direct the townspeople to the true culprits without becoming a target of the Mafia him/herself? How could he/she protect his/her friends and family--and maintain the magic of friendship? Was it his/her place to become a hero like in the animes, or was he/she merely a coward?

(Could he/she even lie low? As it was, his/her name alone was certainly memorable, sure to catch the Mafia’s attention, as well as anyone else’s. And his/her face was regularly seen at the diner--between those two facts, they were sure to notice if anything was up with him/her.)

He/she absentmindedly stroked his/her bird’s head as he/she considered what to do. Should he/she lie low? Or should he/she try to hint at who they were?

They, who’d ruined so many lives in this town.

They, who didn’t seem like they were about to stop.

They, who would probably destroy everything he/she cared about if he/she dared say a thing.

What was he/she to do?

(He/she considered consulting some history texts to see if there was any precedent on the subject--but then, where would he/she even start?)

He/she adjusted his/her tin foil hat and downed a couple of painkillers. He/she wasn’t getting anywhere from this kind of thinking. He/she had a lot to do in the morning--take care of the canines, check the plants, feed the chickens, check out the other assorted creatures that may or may not be used in battle of some kind--and he/she couldn’t afford to lose too much sleep.

He/she hummed a lullaby under his/her breath. It was time to go to bed.

[Robyn]

"But it hasn't really been anyone you've known yet, right? You just seem more upset about this than I would have expected."

Dove shrugged, looked away. She and Brutus were seated at the bar, the blue-rimmed clock casting a seedy light over the bar and showing some jumble of numbers that, right now, only meant break time to her. She barely needed one. The Sarsaparilla Armadillo's attendance had suffered over the last couple of days; no one was risking the dark walk there just for a mug of root beer, no matter how frosty or delicious. The diehard regulars had no smiles to spare and sat sullenly in the light.

Dove swirled her drink around her mug, and a speck of foam splashed onto the counter. She trailed a finger through it and watched the bubbles pop in her wake.

"That's not true, though. I've known everyone that's died," Dove said, "and so have you. It's not a huge town, Brucy."

"But you never, ahh... how should I put this. You're more of an independent spirit, I guess?"

"You're saying I have no friends."

"I'm your friend."

Dove gave him a small smile and scratched the back of her head. "You and that Britknee girl? Maybe? I'll have to track her back down after this. It's just-- it's not about whether I really knew them or not. Let's put it like this. Say you have a tea set."

"A tea set."

"Yeah, a really nice, beautiful tea set you got from the mall. It's in your china hutch and it looks lovely, okay?"

"Hah, okay. What about this beautiful tea set."

"So imagine someone-- and you don't know who, but they're there, they are there right under your nose-- is coming in while you're asleep, and one by one, they are breaking each of your teacups. Now, when the first teacup goes, you think, 'Oh, that's a shame, I guess that teacup is never gonna come around again, but hey, at least I still have all these other teacups to use!' But they keep breaking, and breaking, and breaking, and. I mean, you see what I'm getting at. It's like, how long until they go for the teapot?"

"And you're the teapot in this situation? Would you say you're a little teapot, specifically? Short and stout?"

Dove crossed her arms. "It's not a perfect metaphor. Although as the most important dish, I suppose I would be? Or maybe the teapot is the TOWN. Of which I'm still the most important dish."

"Riiight. Well, it's natural to be scared, Dove. You can always talk to me about it. Hell, I'm scared too, and I'm three times your size. Nowadays it just seems like everyone's out to get you," Brutus said with a frown. "I guess the bright side is that you actually have connections on the other side? Don't you have that cousin you could live with? Or do you two not get along?"

Dove groaned. "It's not that I don't love Robyn! We're family, for goodness' sakes. My little itoko-chan. But I still have a life to live. I guess I am a little scared. Although..."

"Although?"

"I did have an idea of something I could do about all of this."

Brutus cocked a brow. "Did you now."

"Yeah, but it's going to take some time," Dove said, swiveling around in her chair. "You'll see. I swear I'm going to defend justice, love, and righteousness at whatever cost it may take!"

Bubbles snorkeled through Brutus' straw as he took a sip.

"Well, just don't go overboard," he said under his breath and pretending that wasn't exactly just what Dove was going to do.

[Draco]

Rocky jumps back from the now screaming princess. Who was this again, he recognized her, the bard... Uhh Jewels? Julie? Yeah, that was it. Why was she screaming? Who screams at a beautiful king with bishie sparkles?! What a odd girl.

"Shh, shh, it's ok. Screaming will only cause problems for your beautiful singing. And... And... If you keep screaming... Uhh... I'll... Uhh..."

He slowly floats to a wall, loosing all color, the area around him got dark, and he got all depressed. He sat there poking the floor with his finger.

[Fraze]

Mony sat in a restaurant.

She couldn't remember how he got there. There was no memory of walking in, finding a seat, or even how long she had been sitting there. Like the start of a dream, it simply--

--Oh, right. He had been shot, and bled to death in an alleyway.

"Can I get you anything?" Mony's head shot up as a waitress approached the table and handed her a menu. Acting on instinct, ingrained habit, and social protocol, he opened it and skimmed through the listings.
Reincarnations
Cricket………2 karma
Cat……………10 karma
Horse…………15 karma
Human………35 karma

Side Orders (Limit 2 per customer)
Good health…5 karma
Wealth………10 karma
Fame…………10 karma
Power…………10 karma
True Love……15 karma

It went on like this for several pages. Mony looked up at the waitress. "So this is the afterlife, then?"
"That's correct!" the waitress chirped.
"Does it look like this for everyone, or…?" Mony trailed off, not quite sure of the words.
"No, this is just how it appears for you."
"And will I remember this when I, er, go back?"
"Memories of one's past lives is an extra-special side order," the waitress responded, flipping to the back of the menu. "It costs 25 karma, so most people can't afford it."
Mony rifled through her pockets, and pulled out a pile of unfamiliar looking coins. Without paying much attention to the designs, he observed that they said "karma" and had various numbers on them. Counting them up, she apparently had 41 karma. Enough for a healthy human or a really well-off cat. She spent the next several minutes weighing possibilities--choosing one's next life wasn't to be taken lightly, after all--when a sudden thought occurred to him.
"What if I don't order?"
The waitress, who had been waiting politely by the booth, had a puzzled expression. "I beg your pardon?"
"What if I give the menu back to you, get up, and walk out that door?" It was only after she said this that he realized there was, in fact, a door leading out of the restaurant.
"Y-you would become a ghost. Your memories of this life would persist, but you wouldn't be able to move on until you came back here. And there might be a wait, we can get pretty crowded."
"Well, can I make a reservation?"
The waitress considered. She clearly hadn't had to deal with this before. "I suppose you could, but our earliest vacancy is ten years from now. Is that all right with you?"
Mony thought for a moment. "Yeah, sure. I might even push it ahead another ten years after that. Will I be able to find my way back here?"
The waitress perked up. She clearly knew more about this matter. "Absolutely, you can find us any time you want to return."
"All right, I'll see you then." Mony got up and turned to leave.
"Oh, um, but one more thing."
Mony paused and turned around. "Yes?"
The waitress looked a bit embarrassed. "Um, just what is your gender?"
Mony responded. The waitress' face fell a bit. "Oh, I see."
"What, that isn't interesting enough?"
"No, no, it's not that. It's just, there was a betting pool going on, and I had two karma saying you were a--well, never mind."
Mony's expression turned from annoyance to incredulity, and finally to humor. "Well, I've gotta go. Take care."

Mony stepped out of the restaurant, and found himself floating above Wafflenet. She turned around, but the restaurant wasn't there anymore. That was fine, there was a more important restaurant to deal with.

It's amazing what you can learn working 10 hours a day at the biggest food joint in a small town. Months' worth of eavesdropping on whispered discussions had tipped Mony off to the formation of a mafia, and eventually he had figured out who the members were.
Siding with them had been a rather shameful act of cowardice, she realized that now. But he had never been a hero. A well-known face of the town, even a public servant of sorts--but never a hero. And now she had paid the price for his foolishness.

But it wasn't time to give up. Waffles, No Nets needed running. Mony was confident that Mick could take over running the place eventually, and the proud Wafflenet tradition could continue, but the young man still needed practice. Mony had also hoped that siding with the mafia would help to pacify them, but that had failed, too--meaning the town would need a center, a place to support them through whatever was to follow.

As he drifted closer to the town, Mony heard people yelling about more deaths. Alex and Penny. He'd never minded Alex too much--he was a bit insufferable, but always paid his tab, and wasn't anyone Mony wanted to see dead. But she always appreciated Penny, odd though she was, both as a human being and a fellow businessperson.

He floated down towards Penny's shop. And sure enough, there she was, a floating ghostly figure.

"They got you too, didn't they?

[Mostly Harmless (flufflepuff)]

((Haha, color me the waitress xD I was just as curious!~))



Alex had completely ignored Fluffle and chose that moment to sink to the ground and draw on it with his finger. Oh well. He was royalty in her eyes, so she let him do what he wanted without disturbance.

A terrible growling sound presently shook Fluffle nearly off her feet and she looked around in confusion.

Oh.

Fluffle, steadying herself with three hooves, placed a hoof on her stomach.

This was no time for cupcakes. Cupcakes would remind her of...

She trotted to Waffles, No Nets, and looked around. The air was charged with tension, which wasn't surprising. After all, there were quite a few bodies in the freezer.

Fluffle took a seat and tried to adjust herself comfortably. She sighed.


She wondered what a waffle would taste like...

[Lizica]

In spite of the events of the day, Tracy beamed when she saw Fluffle wearing (and not eating) her hat. It looked good on her. And then an enormous bag of fluff had been presented to Tracy. Smiling still, she thanked Fluffle profusely and added the load to her bag of hats. It was warm, with a gorgeous color and sheen; Tracy was sure she'd be able to make something good out of it. She was such a nice pony. Tracy wished her hat could fully protect her. But she wouldn't give up!

She returned to her deliveries, giving a corn-shaped one to Mr. Johnson in the crowd, a boat-shaped one to Mrs. Johnson beside him, a roosting chicken-shaped one to Nora, sitting despondent on a bench--

Her motion of extending the hat to her was suddenly interrupted by a shrieking scream. Julie, the messenger, was staring wide-eyed at a...at a....was that a ghost?

And the ghost of Alex, at that?

Glancing to her right, farther down the road, Tracy spotted more silvery specters--Was that...Penny? And Mony?

Tracy had never paid much attention to ghost lore, but seeing the ghosts of the townspeople from afar gave a strange sense of relief. They were still here. They could still help set things right. And--now they couldn't be under the influence of the aliens!

Ha ha! They couldn't keep a good man's ghost down. Those aliens weren't so high and mighty. Maybe there was still some hope.

"Hang in there!" she said to Nora, finally handing her the chicken-shaped hat. "We'll figure this out!" Tracy began walking towards the pharmacy, where her next hat's owner would be. She spun back around to Nora. "But until then, stay safe from all the dangerous alien infiltrators!"

She looked over her notebook of radio signals again as she made her way up to the pharmacy. What was missing...?

When she glanced up again, she found herself staring at a new sign in the pharmacy window. It advertised "astrological services" via the stars. "Visit 'starswontkillyou.waffle.net' today!" it advised.

Tracy considered this poster for a moment before walking inside. Similar to ghost stories, she had never cared much for horoscopes. The stars and planets were definitely full of life and mystery and cosmic signs--but not the kind that foretold individuals' destinies. It was silly, thinking that galaxies and suns aligning informed more about your petty personal life than it informed about interstellar wars and planetary diplomacy.

But still--perhaps someone in addition to Tracy might be keeping an eye on the sky over Wafflenet. And that would be extremely helpful to their cause.

Tracy opened the door to the pharmacy. THE PYTHON was inside, looking like he'd been punched in the face. (Tracy wondered if, given his current garb, he had done it himself on purpose.) She strode past him and approached the counter.

"Hi, Kay O!" she said, and pulled out the hat made for her. It was shaped like a stack of closed books, and by now it was also a little covered in pink pony fur. Tracy picked off some of the strands and passed it over the counter. "If you'd wear this, it'd mean a lot to me. Might help a little, with all the alien interference going around." She paused for moment, then asked hopefully, "So have you seen anything interesting in the stars recently?"

[Gelquie]

Despite the ghost seeming alarmed at the screaming, Julie couldn't help but stagger back from the ghost and continue to scream. Even so, her screams began to abate slightly as she heard the ghost talk, and then walk to another building and sit there, depressed. She put a hand to her mouth until she managed to stop her screaming, but even then, she was panting wildly.

"I, you, but... But you're DEAD! Were today gone you but now here you but here but you're DEAD!"

Julie stopped; she had to get a hold of herself. She took a few deep breaths before strumming a few calming chords on her mandolin, humming along to the music with her eyes closed. After about a minute she stopped and let out a sigh.

"Okay... I think I'm okay now." She opened her eyes. "I-I'm sorry. It's just... I didn't expect to see you. And I-I've never seen a real ghost, so I just..."

She paused. She was seeing him, right? How could she be sure that she wasn't just hallucinating? She looked around her to anyone nearby, and she could make out Fluffle and Tracy in the distance, staring at either her or Alex, she couldn't tell. But she could tell from the looks on their faces that they probably weren't just staring at her for screaming. She took another look back to Alex and examined his form.

She had certainly heard of ghosts before and tales of their existence, particularly from Netwaffle. But if ghosts were prevalent... Why hadn't she seen any until now? Where were the ghosts of Stal or Yoyti or Thundy or anyone else? Did they just decide to leave, or could she not see them until now? And if the latter was true, what changed? Was it... Could it be just hope?

Julie then finally realized the emotional state of the despondent ghost, and she frowned at herself for not doing something earlier. She let out a sigh and started playing a happier tune on her mandolin as she approached the ghost.

"Hey, I'm sorry again. I shouldn't have yelled like that... But hey, you've come back to us, if as a ghost. And if you're not the only one..."

She looked around some more, not expecting to see any ghosts. So she only jumped in surprise when she saw two more ghosts over by Penny's shop. Penny and Mony. So they were still here too, even if only in spirit. That was something.

"Well, it's great to--" She blinked and turned to Alex, eyebrow raised. "Wait. Did you just call me a Princess earlier?"

[Draco]

Rocky turned around, color returning, his eyes large with excitement, the sparkles surrounding him seemed to multiply and dance about. He moved so quickly back to Julie that it was almost as if he teleported (which he didn't). He fumbles to grab hold of her hand once again (holding solid objects was a pain!), and looked into her eyes.

"Death can not stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while."

He continued to stare for a short time speechless, letting the sappiness sink in.

"And my true love is to treat all women as if they were royalty! You see in death I came to realize what I've been doing wrong with my life. Now I'm going to fix that! Not to mention when I died... I ended up in this weird music room and these beautiful men taught me some things and then sent me loose. They sure were familiar."

---
Back at the Rock Farm, Rocky's sister sat in her room reading a manga about a certain host club in a music room. Rocky, or Alex at the time, every now and then would read these books of hers, but he never really understood them.
---

Back on the streets Rocky was still holding Julie's hand.

"Of course. This could all be a figment of your imaginat-"

With that he was gone. Nowhere to be seen. Then he reappeared behind Julie.

"Ok, just kidding! Besides from being a host, now I like to play tricks from time to time. It's my thing now. Now if you'll excuse me, I have places to be and people to see."

He bows and floats off.

---

He ended up flying to a number of places and in the end was floating in front of a group of cows. He figured he would have fun with them, and at the same time make fun of these Mafia people that he was accused of being. Wait, maybe he was accused of the serial killer? Oh he didn't remember anymore. He quickly places items around the cows and floats away giggling lightly.

The cows now all had fedoras on, a knife stuck in a piece of wood, and a small sign on the ground made of rocks that said "COW MOOFIA".

---

Back in town he floating around, making sure to fly past Fluffle and giving her a quick wink as he went by. It didn't take long before he floated up in front of Penny and Mony.

"Oh, hello there."

[Celestial]

As she thought, there had been another hanging. Diana had stood in the town square, recording everything as she saw it, the foul taste of the worst coffee Wafflenet could produce keeping her grounded and focused, keeping her detached from the grusome spectacle that was occuring before her eyes. It was only when Alex was hung that Diana went to a nearby alley and clutched her stomach, trying to keep herself from losing whatever little food she had eaten over the past few days. Work, always work, work kept her safe and sane. History could change in the blink of an eye depending on how you presented but tha chaos was at least reliable chaos. This was out of control, just like a 12th century peasant revolt or the Thirty Years War. Although since neither of those were Diana's speciality, she felt like she had no right to comment on anything that went on during that time, lest she get a detail wrong or interpret it in such a way as to present a picture of the event which was less than truthful.

She finally composed herself and looked up, seeing the alien conspiracy theory girl (seriously, why did people believe in those things? Yes, shady things did go on in governments but they often left paperwork, facts that could be cited and written about whereas conspiracy theorists relied on flimsy ideas) give a hat to the pony, who was curiously shaved-looking. And then Julie had begun to scream. Diana looked up to try and see what she saw.

And gazed into the face of Alex, as a ghost.

She had heard rumours of this area, that a town called Netwaffle was inhabited by ghosts but this was the first time Diana had actually seen a ghost. Alex floated away from Julie towards some other shapes, Penny and Mony. There were ghosts in Wafflenet now.

There was so much potential in this! If she could find out how they came back, it would set a new precedent in academic writing. Finally they could interview the ghosts of long dead people and ask what they new, by the masses, combining what they said and eliminating all traces of bias this way into one ultimate source. Finally there could be one account of history, the true account of everything that had ever happened in all areas, all countries, all classes in life could finally be revealed.

And historians would be out of a job.

Diana's face fell. Half of the fun of being a historian was having several opinions at the same time and arguing constantly over who was right and what history actually was. If there could finally be an unbiased account, there would be no need for her. This shook her almost as much as seeing the deaths over the past few days. She was going to be made redundant by a bunch of ghosts.

This could not happen.

She walked over to the ghostly gathering and coughed. "Excuse me. First of all, I am so sorry for your-" she was about to say 'loss' but that was not right in any way, shape or form "-deaths. It was awful and should not have happened. But you cannot be coming back. If dead people could talk for themselves and tell the stories of their lives, we would be obsolute. You simply cannot exist, there is no theoretical predecent for you and all peer-reviewed academic works point to ghosts not being real, being merely natural phenonema interpreted by supersition. Belief in you is a fascinating aspect of the history of ideas but you really cannot exist!" Diana was growing more and more hysterical. "You're overturning all that has even been known and it cannot be rebuilt from scratch, only modified. Please leave!"

[Tiger]

Osi was definitely not okay. Any lingering fear Mick had of the bird-watcher was replaced by pity...and sympathy. Mick wasn't feeling too far off from getting all twitchy himself. Fortunately Osi got a hold of himself enough to act...well, as normally as the guy could be expected to ask.

"Waffle and tea, coming up," Mick said, relieved the bird-watcher hadn't ordered eggs. Stressed as he was, they'd probably explode or come to life or something.

...Not that someone like Osi would want to eat eggs, anyway.

Osi pointed to the roof and Mick glanced up instinctively - nothing there but a serious cobweb problem and a disturbingly large spider in the corner - before realizing what Osi was probably after.

"You want on the roof? Sure...why not. There's stairs back here, come on." As he led Osi toward a door in the back of the restaurant, another strange customer entered, the pink town pony. She'd given herself a fur-cut, it seemed. ...Odd. He opened the door for Osi to let him go up. "I'll send Tanya with tea in just a minute, your waffle shouldn't take long. And...if you see people coming with guns or in an angry mob, could you...I dunno, bang on the tiles or something? Thanks."

He scooped the menu off Osi's table and headed for the pony. "Hey, Fluffle." He hesitated, then sat in the seat opposite her. "I'm really sorry about Alex. Is there anything I can do?"

[Mostly Harmless (flufflepuff)]

Sorry about Alex? He'd just winked at her, filling her with a sense of relief and joy, even. Sure, she wouldn't get to be petted but he could be the best ghostly prince ever, and that was all that mattered.

Fluffle smiled slightly and nodded. She wanted to find out what a waffle tasted like. "PBBLBLTH," she answered him, pointing to "WAFFLE WITH STRAWBERRIES WITH A SIDE OF PAPER".

Fluffle reached into her fur. She was partially shorn, yes, but her fluff was still excellent storage. She pulled out a wallet, emptying two Bits, hoping the gold coins would cover it.

((MY BRAIN JUST WENT CRAZY, I APOLOGIZE IF THIS IS NOT ALLOWED xDD;;; )))



She handed them to Mick, and looked at him. Immediately she had to cover her face with her hooves. He was scrawny, yes, but that face! So honest and sweet! And the first thing he'd done was ask her about Alex! What a sweetheart.

Fluffle....fluffed out her....fluff (if that was at all possible) and reached over to hug him. "Pbblbbt, she crooned, in the smoothest voice she could.

Wait.

"Pbblbbt"?!

That was what she came up with?!

Fluffle promptly facehoofed.