NTWF Mafia II: The Idyllic Village of Wafflenet

[Dan]

"So..." Penny started as she sat down next to Ginz and Dan. "What do you think about all this? I mean, there's never been this kind of- of kerfuffle in our little town before. I thought it was crazy last month when the bird man had a party and the ostriches were accidentally invited, but this is so much worse!"

Don Dan gratefully took a sandwich from the small pile and took a bite, only to be greeted with a slightly sour taste rather than the savory one he was expecting. Upon examination, he found that the sandwiches had been filled with lemondrops, and politely set his down again.

"I don't know what to think, honestly. When we talked about where to live after the wedding, Ginz had assured me this place was completely safe," he said, glancing at his wife, who sat munching on a sandwich thoughtfully. "And it seemed like it was true when I got here. Not a problem in sight for the first few months, anyways. But something changed recently. It all started with that brick through our window, remember, dear? That's the first time I thought something was wrong here. What'd the note on the brick say, again?"

Ginz nodded, and began to speak when suddenly Don Dan felt a slight buzzing in his pocket. He retrieved his cell phone and looked at the screen to find that it was his sister calling. He excused himself from his wife and sister-in-law, who continued discussing the day's events, and stepped outside to answer the call.

"Hey, Donna, what's going on?" he said, perhaps a bit too brusquely. He listened to her excited squeals for a few moments before whatever color he'd managed to regain drained from his face once more. When he returned inside, the quizzical looks from his family kept him from keeping this disaster of a development to himself.

"It seems that my sister Donna Corleone has had her baby. A son. What's more, she's named me his godfather."

He sat, burying his face in his hands. "Does anyone in my family realize what they're doing is going to get us all thrown in prison? This day can't get any worse, I don't think I could bear it."

That's when he heard the commotion outside. Things were about to get worse.

[Robyn]

Osilon sniffed back, just as hard.

Dove made a face at him and snatched a few packets of melonpan.

"Ugh, I knew you were gonna say something like that," she said, "Don't you ever have any original comebacks?"

She threw some money on the counter, sent a rude Japanese gesture she'd learned at her last convention sailing in Osi's direction, and gave that fluffy pony (so kawaii!) a quick scratch behind the ears before striding out of the shop. Her routine was usually to go straight home and eat her breakfast while catching up on the numerous anime series she had yet to watch, but today's events had clouded her mind. It somehow didn't feel right to just hole up; the reassuring presence of still-alive people milling about put her a little more at ease.

Dove took a seat at a patio table by the bakery window. Unfriendly thoughts drifted in and out of her head, and she nibbled on her sweet bun with her chin in her hand and a distant stare. She might have been too hasty in saying what she had about Stal. As annoying as he could be, he would do her little favors now and again by snagging limited edition figurines or hard to find box sets. He tried his hardest. Who would want to kill him? And why?

Perhaps he'd just made one too many enemies with his obnoxious sales pitches. Wasn't there supposed to be a whole Maphia family living in town? Dove shuddered. She'd have to write her other eerily identical cousins Raven and Sparrow; she was sure they'd have something to say on the matter.

A shrill shriek broke Dove out of her reveries.

"Uwahh? Who was that?" she gasped. Pastries forgotten, Dove bounded into the alley where she heard the scream. Yet another crowd was beginning to gather, and a small girl was crying heavily in the middle of it all.

Dove could not stand to see a little girl cry. All of her favorite magical girl animes had taught her two things over the years: protect the weak and defend what is right. She was happy to employ her mantra here.

Kneeling down, she placed a hand on the child's shoulder.

"Don't be afraid, Imoto-chan," she whispered, "I'm here to help. What's happened?"

The girl pointed a shaky finger to the source between sobs, and Dove blanched. She was sure she could feel her ghost comically rising out of her-- or, she would have, if the sight didn't terrify her straight to the bone as it did. Another body. Yoyti's.

Dove swallowed. "What would Sailor Moon do in a situation like this?", she thought.

A cold sweat broke out onto her brow, but the child's cries were more important than her fear right now. She stood up and took hold of the little one's hand, guiding her away from the scene.

"You did the right thing by telling everyone," Dove said, deciding to drop the broken Japanese for the time being, "How about we go find your mommy and daddy?"

They began to walk away, and Dove could already tell this arc of her life was starting to become less Ouran and more Madoka than ever.

[Avery]

Brit had just had a tinfoil hat plunked on her head-- oh my gawsh, her curls were going to be ruined-- and had the waiter serve her the waffles when she glanced back out the window and noticed the weird bird lady, Dove, leading the little crying girl away from the crowd. Um, hello, stranger danger, jeesh! Were these country bumpkins that behind the times where they just let weird people steal their children!? Brit was like, pretty sure that the kid didn't belong to Dove. Which meant that Dove was like, a stranger! Britknee's heart seized as she watched Dove walking off with the child. Like, what if Dove was the murderer person and the little kid was her next victim!?

After shoveling a bit of delicious-- and suspiciously sugary-- diet waffle into her mouth, Britknee scooped up the handbag with Snuggles in it and marched towards the door of the diner, determined to stop the scary bird lady before she got too far away with the girl. She left the strawberries behind, but oh well. No time for strawberries; Brit was busy being like, a hero! Yay!

"EXCUSE ME!" she shouted after Dove; but Dove was too far and just kept walking. Britknee heaved a sigh and jogged after, totally wishing she hadn't like, worn her best and prettiest Louis Vuitton nine-inch stilettos this morning.

By the time she caught up with Dove and the child, they were all a fair distance from the crowd. Between pants, Brit demanded, "Like, where are you taking that child? Cos like, I totally don't think she's yours!"

As she spoke, she realized just how far away from everyone they were. Oh my gawsh! What if Dove was the killer and like, totally killed her? Brit suddenly regretted charging after Dove, but she couldn't exactly back away now without looking like a total spaz. And anyway, she was pretty sure if she ran anymore, her stilettos were going to give way under her and she'd like, totally fall. And have to buy new stilettos! Now that was a thought scarier than totes awful violent murder.

Still, she shot a furtive glance back towards the faraway crowd, desperately hoping someone would notice the three of them-- her and Dove and the child-- and come like, rescue her from this possible killer bird lady!

[Gelquie]

Julie eventually stopped playing her song and decided to move away from the scene with Stal, heading towards the public office. She didn't want to take another look at the scene. She knew that life had to move on regardless. The people at her job were probably still waiting for her to pick up her first batch of messages. She was already late, but Julie figured that they might understand, given the circumstances. Or at least, she hoped they would.

A few minutes later, she came out of a building, with a satchel of messages strapped to her side. As she walked, she attempted to play a brighter--but not raucous--tune, hoping that it would lift hers and others' spirits in this uncertain time. She was sure that the other townsfolk weren't really faring any better than her, so she figured she would have to do something to make the scene a little bit better.

It was then that she saw the cosplay artist escorting a young crying girl away, and she saw that both of them had a solemn look on their face. She started to play her music a little bit louder, hoping that the tune would hit the girl's ears to make her feel better. However, she had a distinct feeling that something was wrong. Before she could consider it further, however, she saw the city-born farmgirl chase after the two, accusing Dove of kidnapping. She stopped playing and rushed over.

"Hey now, what's wrong?" she asked tentatively to no one in particular. "What's going on here?"

((If anyone would like Julie to send specific messages to certain people, let me know. ^^ ))

[Ginz ❤]

Ginz sat at the coffee shop with Dan and Penny. She was glad to be with her sister, the two of them had always been very close, especially growing up. They had to stick together to stand up to Melvin, afterall. She ate her lemondrop sandwich slowly, thinking about the recent happenings.

"So..." Penny started as she sat down next to Ginz and Dan. "What do you think about all this? I mean, there's never been this kind of- of kerfuffle in our little town before. I thought it was crazy last month when the bird man had a party and the ostriches were accidentally invited, but this is so much worse!"

"I don't know what to think, honestly. When we talked about where to live after the wedding, Ginz had assured me this place was completely safe," Dan said, glancing at his wife, who sat munching on a sandwich thoughtfully. "And it seemed like it was true when I got here. Not a problem in sight for the first few months, anyways. But something changed recently. It all started with that brick through our window, remember, dear? That's the first time I thought something was wrong here. What'd the note on the brick say, again?"

"It was completely safe!" Ginz said, a bit too energetically. She didn't want Dan to think she had lied to him. "Penny and I have lived here all our lives and we had never seen something remotely like this happen before. This is all very strange."

Ginz took a moment to think. "Oh, that brick! I remember now. Would you believe it, Penny? About a week ago, Dan and I were woken up by the sound of glass breaking. When we went downstairs to investigate, we found someone had thrown a brick through our window. It had a note attached to it, it said: This is a courtesy brick to inform you that the mafia's in town, so WATCH OUT.

"I thought it was a terrible joke. How dare someone mock us that way? It was pretty rude of them to misspell our lastname, too. It's M-A-P-H-I-A, as you know, and they spelled it with an F! Oh, it was dreadful." Ginz took a moment to shake her head in disbelief. Dan had excused himself while she was telling Penny about the brick, but he was back now.

Suddenly there was a commotion outside. What now? Ginz wondered. She looked quizzically at her companions. "I don't know what's happening, guys, but I think we ought to go see." She walked out of the coffee shop, hoping, but not really believing, that the commotion would be about something good for a change.

[Chao]

Having failed to locate the doctor in town, Kay O decided to head on to the crime scene to take photos before too many others went there and destroyed perhaps valuable evidence. Unfortunately she did not remember that she had meant to buy a new camera since the old one was somehow damaged, making all pictures either blurry or layered with green horizontal streaks.
Frantically taking pictures as she approached the scene, it never occurred to her that she might be the one destroying evidence.

"And one more from this angle... And then one from that bush..."

She was so occupied that she never watched her step, so it was perhaps not surprising that suddenly she slipped and crashed down into the ditch, a painful sounding crunch telling of a broken ankle. Hot shots of agony raced through her body as she cried out.

Her cry eventually diminished to a whimpering and sobbing.

"Just great... sniffle... just great... sob. Alone on the... ouch... country road where the killer might... sniffle... return any minute to... sob... admire his handiwork. Sniffle..."

Yes, Kay was feeling more than a little desparate.

[Fraze]

Mony's ears, finely tuned to the babble of the diner, picked up every stray bit of gossip that was provided. Most of them seemed to be regarding--another body? Criminy, apparently one wasn't enough to prove the point.

In particular, he listened to the academic's monologue with a mixture of admiration and bemusement. "Business here is as good as it's ever been," she answered, "and since restaurants rely on disposable income, people at least have enough money to live. The past few harvests have been good, but of course that doesn't really say much...how familiar are you with the economic paradoxes inherent in farming communities? Nah, it seems to be just greed to me. We've had a good system for generations, but now some people are just trying to get more than the others. And fear is the easiest way to do it.
"Not sure how interested you still are in the history of this place," he continued, in between dashing between tables, "but my grandfather founded it. Just called it Waffles to start with, it was descriptive and to the point. Then these sailors kept passing through, fishermen on their way to the Taco Sea. The water is really cold--icy, even--but good fishing. And they kept trying to buy fishing nets here, because it's in the town name. So one day my granddaddy got fed up and put a sign in the window saying 'NO NETS,' right below 'WAFFLES.' Then people thought 'WAFFLES NO NETS' was the name of the place, and nobody ever bothered to change it."

Mony paused. This was a lot of inconsequential babbling, when two people had been killed in one day. She then realized it was probably a coping mechanism, to keep him from freaking out, and decided to go with it. Anyway, the tables still needed waiting.

[Draco]

Alex Louis Rockefeller once again walks briskly down the path into town, once again trying to ignore his over excited pink obsessed sister waving wildly at him from behind a rock. When will she learn that he should be treated more royally then a wild wave from behind a rock. However her breakfast pie was pretty tasty today. No matter, he was on duty today. Today he was going to be the center of attention!

He walked into town and began to scan for people that will be amazed by his presence. He pays little attention to the dead body when walking past.

"Darn peasants and their weird taste in corpses on the ground."

He decides to walk into that waffle dinner place. Maybe people would be in there, and maybe he could get himself a drink of something while there. Of course the glasses are probably dirty.... He'll sadly have to deal with it. He bursts into the dinner.

"Hello everybody! Yes, I Alex Louis Rockefeller, am here to grace you with presence! Now bask in the great and powerful ME!"

[Gav]

"Hmm..."

Birch crossed his arms as he started to walk the path back to his office, choosing the route where nobody usually walked. He liked to be able to think.

The recent troubles were, for lack of a word, troubling. It was possible that this was possibly just a single one or two killings, by some people who just had a vendetta against someone else.

The problem was that he couldn't really think of anybody who had that much of a grudge against Yoyti.

He paused. He wasn't a detective, anyway. There was no point in struggling to reason why-

_"Sniffle..."

Hmm? Was someone crying? Near the ditch or something? Against common caution, Birch turned and walked over.

"Oh, geez!" some girl was sniffling, cradling her ankle. It looked like it was broken.

"You alright girl?" he asked, moving over and holding her gently by the shoulders. "Can you walk? My practice isn't too far away from here."

[♥ Azzie]

Nora was satisfied. She'd gone home and found that not a single one of her chickens was out of their coop- well, except for Guinevere, and she was always off napping in odd places. Sure enough, Nora had found her snuggled into her old slippers, sound asleep.
That established, Nora decided to make her way back to the cafe to apologize for her rude behaviour. She was not even sure, in retrospect, that she had left the correct amount for her meal. The idea mortified her.

Before she could get into the cafe, however, she noticed two townswomen standing with a small crying child. She rushed over to them, a white feather flying out from her sleeve.

"Don't worry, dear," she said. "We'll get to the bottom of this. The justice system here is the best in this part of the world! I know," she added proudly. "My Gerald was the judge in this town for fifteen years."
She glanced at the two women standing with the little girl to see if they were impressed, but then turned her attention back to the child. "I'm quite certain they'll find the one responsible."

[Terra]

Blaze stared at the strange academic woman as she rambled on about the little girl’s shouting. She was confused at first (don’t we already know a guy was murdered, she thought), but when the academic started talking about a murdered man on the outskirts of town, she...well, she only began to get even more confused.

“Wait...are you saying there’s been another guy murdered?” said Blaze.

Then she said, “What mafia? Do you mean that weird family with that guy whose name begins with a D or something who married that girl from the other weird family or...” She stopped talking as it became clear that it was not what this academic was talking about.

“You know what, never mind,” said Blaze. Then she turned around and yelled, “CAN SOMEONE CONFIRM THIS? THAT THERE IS ANOTHER DEAD? IS SOMEONE ELSE DEAD, I’D LIKE TO KNOW, THANKS.”

Then a thought struck her. “ALSO WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING WITH THIS BODY,” she shouted. “IT’D BE A SHAME TO LEAVE IT OUT HERE TO ROT. REALLY RUIN THE MEAT, IT WOULD.”

She turned to the guy in the police outfit who had just nudged her in the foot and began to say loudly, “YOU’RE A POLICE OFFICER, SHOULDN’T YOU BE TAKING CARE -” Then she recognized him as the guy from earlier who’d been yelling angrily about women and giving out his autograph.

“Ugh! Why do I ALWAYS start talking to the USELESS PEOPLE,” she said.

She turned to a random person standing near her. “You know, I always EAT my wolves when THEY die! It’s matter of RESPECT, you KNOW, NOBODY HAS ANY RESPECT AROUND HERE. I HOPE MY WOLVES EAT ME WHEN I DIE. IT’D BE A REAL WASTE IF MY BODY WERE JUST LEFT ROTTING IN THE GROUND SOMEWHERE, WOULDN’T IT?” She scowled. “If it were ME, I’d FEED THIS POOR MAN’S BODY to EVERYONE IN THIS TOWN. That way a PART OF HIM WOULD REMAIN. IN ALL OF US. SEE, IT’S A RESPECT THING.”

As she was speaking (loudly) about this, she saw someone pass by her. It was that girl with the anime clothing again, walking with the little girl who’d been yelling earlier.

“HEY,” barked Blaze. “WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING?”

She began to follow them as she shouted.

[Jayeee]

"The sales guy? Yes, we know, we were there, you were - wait. Do you mean someone else? Who?"

OFFICER PYTHON glanced over at the cook who had spoken to him. If he wasn't male, OFFICER PYTHON would have broken the guy's nose as a consequence for speaking out of turn. But alas, he wasn't so into male violence. Men were so much stronger than women, and using his fists risked damage. He'd lost count of how much each of his body parts were worth - each and every one was insured, because he was worth it.

"Dude, calm down" OFFICER PYTHON shouted, as he strode over to the counter, "don't make OFFICER PYTHON taze you, bro." As he reached the counter, he squirted some beer at Mick from his gun. "Just kidding. You know OFFICER PYTHON's not a real policeman, right?" He looked over his shoulder and winked at Tracy. "Looking pretty fine in this getup though, don't you think?"

OFFICER PYTHON surveyed the diner. "The ladies are going wild, OFFICER PYTHON can tell already. You hear all that screaming out there?" He paused and listened to the people still discussing the recent deaths. "All because of OFFICER PYTHON. Just a tip for you, bro: they get one look as this-" he gestured to his body, "and they just can't get enough. You oughta try it some time - being good-looking, that is."

OFFICER PYTHON breathed a deep sigh of contentment and swallowed another mouthful of beer. "Wait a second." He stared at Mick intently for a few seconds, a look of confusion on his face. "Dude, aren't you like... a dude?" This only added to the confusion. "Why are you cooking? That is totally weak, man. WEAK! OFFICER PYTHON should clobber you over the head just for waking up this morning." He once again looked over his shoulder at Tracy. "You, woman-thing, how about you go out back here and cook us up some steaks. OFFICER PYTHON's got some lessons to teach this guy."

He gave a thumbs-up to Mick. "All taken care of. You stick with OFFICER PYTHON, he'll toughen you up some." He slapped his chest with a grin, before adding, "Oh, you wanted to know about that dawg in the street, didn't you? The layabout tripped OFFICER PYTHON up. If that was OFFICER PYTHON, he'd have the decency to crawl into the arms of some chick before he died. But this dude was so uncool, man. Didn't even know who he was. Didn't look like much of a man though, lame to the max."

As Alex Louis Rockefeller made his entrance, OFFICER PYTHON couldn't help but be impressed. "Now that's how to make an entrance. OFFICER PYTHON gives it a eight - could use a decent costume." He stretched out his arm and pointed the gun at Alex. "Want some beer, dawg?"

[Lizica]

No no no no no no no

Someone else was dead. Customers of Waffles, No Nets had gotten up and run outside, and, listening at the diner's threshold, Tracy heard someone mentioned his name.

Yoyti. Yoyti was dead.

Tracy's shaking hand found its way into her bag of tin foil hats, and it slowly emerged with one shaped like a tophat--made special for Yoyti. He'd never get it. She was too late. She was too late. Two murders in just one morning.

"You, woman-thing, how about you go out back here and cook us up some steaks. OFFICER PYTHON's got some lessons to teach this guy."

What? Tracy looked up. That big, loud out-of-towner guy from the crowd who had thrown paper at everyone. She couldn't remember what the man had been going on about earlier, but all the same, being addressed awoke her from her stupor. After all, this was no time for lollygagging! The citizens of Wafflenet must be protected at all costs, before someone else suffered the same fate as Yoyti!

"Sorry, I don't have time for cooking, we have an extremely dire intergalactic situation, these tin foil hats are our only hope against them, we've got to defend ourselves, and you all have to help me."

At a brisk pace, Tracy whirled around the diner.

"Hi, Mick, please wear this, it's free and will save you from being brainwashed." She gave the man a hat shaped like a waffle with whipped cream and a cherry on top. (Waffles were hard to make in foil. She wasn't sure if it actually looked like one.)

"Mony, please wear this, on the house, it'll keep you safe!" Tracy gave her a tricorn. (Tracy was proud of this one. If she hadn't already had her tin foil ballcap, she might have swapped it out for this cool tricorn hat.)

"Mony, please also give this to Ms. Palladio (that's her name, right?) when she gets back--it's important." Tracy rested the scholar's hat on her empty booth seat. It was supposed to resemble laurels, but darn it, those leaves were nigh impossible to mold.

"Alex, thank goodness you're here, please wear this and defend yourself against the coming alien invasion." Tracy hadn't been able to make up her mind about Alex Louis Rockefeller's hat, and it had gotten a little crushed at the bottom of her bag. Now it resembled something like a messy crown of hard aluminum rocks.

"Sir, please wear this, your wearing this hat will help ensure the safety of the entire town!" Tracy didn't really know THE PYTHON, so she just gave him a generic tin foil hat. Except, this particular one had also been near the bottom of the bag, so it looked less like a plain hat and more like a shiny dunce cap that had been run over by a semi.

She hoped the people in the diner would believe her and wear them. She desperately needed to move along her route in order to give out the rest of her hats.

[Draco]

Alex Louis Rockefeller was a simple man. A simple man who believed himself to be royalty, to be KING. However, he has never had to face any sort of danger outside his sister when she gets depressed and scary (It's a long story, to sum it up his parents found him tied to a tree out in the woods surrounded by a pile or rocks, a bag of flour, a bucket of turnips, a pile of lint, and a small alligator all with party hats... He doesn't like talking about it.) Needless to say, he didn't expect a gun to be pointed at him when he entered the room. So he did what any kingly man would do. He screamed like a girl and fainted on the floor.

[Robyn]

"EXCUSE ME!"

Dove slowed and looked over her shoulder, where that Britknee girl was flagging her down.

"Like, where are you taking that child? Cos like, I totally don't think she's yours!"

"Ohh? Oh, you've got it all wrong! You see, it's my destiny to protect and defend the small. Love the innocent, one and all!" she explained with a flourish and pose. The effect was rather lost without her Knightly Star Scepter, but she'd gotten her point across.

Unfortunately, the callout had garnered some others' attentions-- the town minstrel as well as that sweet old lady Nora had jogged over. Dove hoped they really didn't think she would try to kidnap this kid. Her strong sense of justice aside, what use would she have for a little girl? She bit her lip, pushing away the temptation of having a little Sailor Chibi Moon to cosplay alongside her at the next con.

"Look, I was just trying to help her find her parents-san, and so far--"

"Mommy!"

The girl broke away from the group of people and into the arms of a lady standing a few yards away. She waved at the other townspeople before walking off, and Dove heard her whisper, "Mommy, what does Imoto-chan mean?"

The anime seed had been planted. Success.

Just as that problem wrapped itself up, Dove spotted that crazy wolf lady running up and shouting. She cringed and was about to make a hasty exit when something caught her eye.

"Is that...IT IS!!"

Dove rushed up to Britknee's handbag, eyes practically sparkling. The puppy inside barked, and she squealed.

"KOINUUUUU!! SOOOOO SUPER KAWAII!!"

She clasped Britknee's hands in her own and jumped up. "What's its name? It's SO cute!!"