...For the record, I watched Hunty do this. It worked extremely well, and there might be a video.
*will make a note to try this someday*
However, it does seem a waste of garlic. XD
You're not supposed to use more than an itty bitty little piece in each nostril, otherwise your mucus membranes won't appreciate the carnage at all. And you need to keep a tissue at hand, because that stuff makes you sneeze uncontrollably. The trick is to keep the garlic in as long as possible.
...why yes, that actually is accepted practice in Estonian folk medicine. Otherwise I wouldn't really go around with garlic up my nose.
Onna sidenote, we're back in Denver, after amassing over nine thousand miles. And we didn't even mean to.
You're not supposed to use more than an itty bitty little piece in each nostril, otherwise your mucus membranes won't appreciate the carnage at all. And you need to keep a tissue at hand, because that stuff makes you sneeze uncontrollably. The trick is to keep the garlic in as long as possible.
...why yes, that actually is accepted practice in Estonian folk medicine. Otherwise I wouldn't really go around with garlic up my nose.
Onna sidenote, we're back in Denver, after amassing over nine thousand miles. And we didn't even mean to.
Well that's good to know. I was thinking of a whole clove shoved up each nostril XD Glad I didn't try that XD
Back at Crystal's place, we were Skypeing with my mom and this kind of just...happened. I had to do a screenshot of the window.
Apr 15--Stalwart We packed up and hit the road. For the first time since we started the trip, there was real, honest-to-gods urgency to get to our next destination (Springfield, Missouri, home of Stal), because a big storm was going to blaze right across our path. And there were big tornado warnings and stuff like that, apparently it's been an epic tornado season. We had to go now, and we had to go fast, and we just might miss the storm.
So of course, as you can probably guess because I started a new paragraph for the sake of juxtaposition, we went to an art museum. In our defense, it was free and we did get more info about the storm. We sort of sprinted through it while glancing at stuff on either side of us. We passed up the free zoo, because we'd already done San Diego Zoo.
Then there was driving, and more driving, and a bit more driving after that, and I swear we were literally just barely outrunning the worst of the storm for the last couple hours of driving.
We finally got to Stal-land in the late afternoon, and holed up at his place for the rest of the day. Hunty got to try the wonderful American concoction called the chili dog, and a few different momentous occasions took place. First, of course, was the great Duel of the Fates, the rooftop duel between the Sesquipedalian Economist and the Lady of the Thousand Meepits. But far more interesting and enjoyable for everyone involved was the raiding of Stal's extensive liquor collection.1
The first fateful meeting, thunder and lightning not shown.
Hunty does not approve of Stal's choice of shirts.
The liquor cabinet, cabinet of liquor.
Along with a demonstration of the effects of said liquor cabinet.
One of Stal's cats, because everyone needs cats.
After chatting, watching the new DBZ Abridged, chatting some more, raiding the liquor cabinet, and doing a bit more chatting, we decided to play Apples to Apples. Stal's brother joined us in the fun. There were multiple references to communists, and one instance of Stal covering his ears and going "LA LA LA," but the reasons for this episode shall not be mentioned.
It was midway through the game that I started feeling the onset of a cold, and sure enough, Hunty contracted one as well 8 hours later. We suspect it came from the St. Louis City Museum, what with all the screaming kids running around.
Stal tried to assassinate Hunty with a nerf gun, as he described. It didn't work, and he seemed quite shocked. We went to bed shortly after that.
The green apple card was "Corrupt." Three guesses as to what Stal chose.
LA LA LA LA LA
Die, pirate scum--oh, never mind then.
No nerf gun attack is complete without posery.
Apr 16--Stalagmite I woke up feeling like someone had dragged several strips of coarse-grained sandpaper out of my throat through my nose, which is what typically happens on the first day of a cold for me. We didn't exactly get up early, and stayed lazing around for most of the day until Stal came back, after getting out of work early.
The pizza we eventually got for dinner was good, but unlike what I normally think of as pizza. The crust seemed like it was made of saltines. We discussed St Louis, especially the more dangerous parts, and some apocryphal stories about an underground meat grinder. The bar we headed to after that was cute, it was the sort of place I could imagine going to with a book for a few hours. We made a pilgrimage to Stal's favorite liquor store, and finally went back to the apartment for a rousing game of Munchkin and more booze. There were aggressive negotiations and backstabbing and general screwing over of other players, and Stal's brother finally ended up winning.
Hunty's addition to the slightly legendary whiteboard doodle.
Fraze lounges.
Stal discusses our options for food, and shows that he has a little cap'n in him. (Note he didn't realize he was doing the pose.)
And cats, because cats are always relevant.
Apr 17--Stallergies *Brick'd for three Stal-related puns in a row* This one actually has a reason behind it. We got up sniffling (the second day of the cold for me is always a runny nose, and Hunty remained steadily 8 hours behind for the entire duration), and went off to lunch with Stal at Panera, which is another place I'd been wanting to drag Hunty for some time. There was chatting and goodbyes. Then Stal had to go back to work, we went back tot he apartment and packed up, but left half a pie tin of chocolate-walnut fudge behind.
Of course, it later turned out that Stal is allergic to walnuts. After we left, his brother told him about the walnuts before he ate any, so any negative consequences were completely avoided.
We headed on, and managed to get a ways into Kansas. Hunty had wanted to try KFC for a long time, so we finally managed to find a place there. The whole place seemed dreadfully depressing. The staff was subdued, the customers were quiet, Hunty's meal was a scrap of chicken and a mound of potato slop, even the music was melancholy. (My chicken sandwich wasn't too bad, but Hunty claimed that they waited for the chicken to die of old age before cooking and serving it.) We walked out the door mourning the loss of ten perfectly good dollars that never harmed anyone, and went straight to the Wendy's drive-thru next door, because we're American as heck. We pressed on a bit more, and got to a motel for the night.
The sniffles were in full bloom by this time, so Hunty needed frequent tissues and she needed them fast. We ended up sticking a roll of toilet paper on the parking brake, since it was convenient.
Apr 18--Home Again, Home Again We woke up with persistent coughs (the third and final stage of colds for me, and this one adhered strictly to the pattern) and drove through Kansas. The parts earlier on in the day were kind of nice, but it got persistently flatter and more boring as we went on. Food might have happened at some point. The most exciting part of the day was the trip odometer rolling over to 9000 miles, which once again I barely missed on the camera. At long last, we got back to Denver and started unpacking (we still aren't really done), and pretty much called it a day.
Saw this at a rest stop/convenience storey place. Hunty was thrilled at the prospect of getting a llama.
The trip was a grand total of 9346.2 miles.
Apr 19--Bucking the System The sickness was more or less over by now, but clearing-out-the-system sort of coughs and sniffles remained, and are still kind of going right now. We sat around, we talked, we did stuff on the computer, and we took our sweet, sweet time unpacking the car. Then we went to dinner at one of Denver's most iconic restaurants, the Buckhorn Exchange.
It's this old timey two-story building right in the middle of a lower class residential area, but that's because the residential area has been built up around it. The restaurant itself was founded in 1893, making it Colorado's oldest restaurant. The place looks like a taxidermy shop, with animal heads sticking out of the walls, glass displays of birds, and big cats on the prowl on shelves above your head. The meals are similarly big-game. Hunty got the elk (which was excellent) and the ostrich (which was nondescript), I got the yak (which tasted like beef) and the lamb (which was awesome). There were also deep-fried alligator slices as an appetizer. That made four kinds of meat Hunty had never tried before (alligator, yak, ostrich, elk) and three for me, since I pretty much grew up on elk.
"Charlie! Hey, Charlie! Chaaaaarlieeeee!" Hunty saw this in the women's restroom and was endlessly amused by the expression on the one deer. (For those curious, this was probably two bucks who got their horns locked together when sparring, and died because they couldn't separate. It happens.)
Also, Hunty shoved garlic up her nose. I have been informed that posting the video of this will result in my untimely demise, but she turned bright red.
Apr 20--Workin' at the Carwash We've had a run of lazyish days ever since getting back, and this was no exception. The major event of the day was washing the car, which was one of many poetic framings for this trip--we went to the same carwash we had visited in an early and slightly disastrous attempt to navigate using the GPS3 There might be video, but it probably isn't all that interesting. The washing of the car was completed without issue this time, and we got back safely. Dinner was at a Vietnamese place, and the food there was awesome. My stuff came served inside a pineapple.
I tried to come up with a Spongebob joke, but couldn't think of anything.
1Everyone present at said raiding was verified to be 21 or over, drank responsibly, and did not drive or operate heavy machinery while drinking. Except fo the nerf gun.
2This was completely coincidental. Any implications that we might have known about this beforehand and left the fudge there in an attempt on Stal's life are preposterous slander.
Of course, since it's been a fair few days since I got back home, I may have forgotten a number of things.
Apr 21 - A tiny hole in the ground That was the day we undertook a hike in a canyon, the name of which I'm sure I'd remember if I'd taken to writing this textwall any earlier than two weeks after the fact. Shame on me. (EDIT: it's Castlewood Canyon. Good thing one of us has a working cranial memory card.)
It's a nice little national park fairly close to Denver, anyway. Fraze's parents drove us down after a brief interlude at the outlet mall we browsed way back on February 10th. We got to the park just about around closing time, but it mostly just meant that the place was devoid of people and we could engage in some wonderful beautiful Trails.
The trail looks more or less like a ping-pong paddle. It goes down into the canyon and ends with a closed loop so when you get to the fork, you get to choose whether to turn back or do the loop. We did most of the loop after a shortcut.
...except we didn't, because even we aren't insane enough.
This was kind of a brief driveyaroundy day in the nearby Rockies. We went to Mt Evans, or rather to the trailhead that leads to the very top of Mt Evans. It was what, 14 miles?
One day.
Apr 23 - ?
Yeah, I don't know >> At one point we went to an awesome Mexican restaurant (man, do I miss Mexican food) and then browsed a few nearby stores and I got myself a dress because clearly my bags weren't stuffed enough for the flight back, but that's also all I remember about that day.
Apr 24 - Clearly a Bargain
Also known as auction day. Fraze's dad digs through auctions on a regular basis and we decided to tag along that day. He took us to IKEA first, simply because I hadn't been to one in ages (only seen one once, in Finland). It felt... surprisingly like home, really. It's crisp and simple and no-nonsense and very Nordic and that's really pretty much how Scandinavia (and my homebits, aka Scandinavia-in-denial) looks like.
The auctionhouse was maybe half an hour from there and filled with fascinating stuff. One day, when I'm rich enough and have a house fancy enough, I'll buy myself a pair of stuffed bears. In your face, solicitors.
The auctions usually last a long time, so Fraze and I decided to bail out early once we'd been through all the stuff, and took the bus back. Turned out that it wasn't exactly the best part of town. Being the racial minority on a bus was kind of an interesting experience, really.
Apr 25 - Rolling Rocks
Yesh, I know, those titles keep getting lamer. You try staying creative and punny for three months straight.
That was the day we spent driving around the foothills of the Rockies again. The area is chock full of cute little towns begging to be discovered, and that's exactly what we did.
It's also chock full of casino towns begging to be discovered in much more flashy and desperate ways. We checked one out, out of sheer curiosity. It was everything you'd expect from the movies, minus the Bonds and busty chicks in glittery dresses. Most people in there look really, really gloomy. Ain't no such thing as having fun in a casino.
The town of Central City wasn't too far from there, and that's a much less desperate-looking place. It has its casinoes, but is mostly just an adorable mountain town. We visited the city hall, which is old and nifty and apparently haunted.
Then we drove down the Oh My God Road, named by numerous people who ever drove down its narrow, unpaved, steep, railing-free insanity. It had a glorious view.
After a few more pretty mountain towns, we detoured to Red Rocks, a natural amphitheater that seemed to be a haven for people who want a good exercise. Got more info on geology than I've ever gotten on my own home country (shame on me, yep).
A jail? Your attempt at catching the pirate queen is adorably cute at best.
Red Rocks.
April 26 - Another Poetic Frame
, this time of the 16th Street Mall that we'd briefly browsed on the 3rd, for nothing else than Mexican food because there was a snowstorm.
(Mexican foooood D:)
It was a fairly nice sunny day, so we got to see more or less the entirety of the mall, plus the Capitol (we couldn't get in, go figure) and the famous Cash Register Building, and I got my bro a shirt.
The Convention Center has a big blue bear. Because why not.
It does look like a cash register, innit?
April 27 - ?
Yeah, I don't know again >> Stuff presumably happened. Nothing that's recorded itself on our cameras or brains.
April 28 - ??
Still got nothing. Chances are I got packed at one point. We also went for walkies. And had an earlyish night because I had a 11:10 flight the following morning and we all had to get up by 6, on account of Fraze's parents being nice enough to drive me to the airport.
April 29 to oh gods timezones - Bon Voyage
Didn't sleep well. Of course I didn't. I never sleep well when I have a big event coming up and know that I have to get up early. It used to bug the living daylight out of me and make me cranky, but at some point I resigned to my insomniac ways and anyway if I get coffee in the morning, I can drift around pretty well in a happy dizzy haze.
(Besides, being awake and conscious = more time spent with Sir Snoresalot xD)
So yeah, we were all up at 6, had a sleepy sort of breakfast that was to be my last proper meal until the other side of the world, and set off for the airport.
There may have been a bit of gushing, and a bit of snuggles, and a bit of handholding, and general last-minute sap. Funny thing with being constantly together for 88 days is, you get used to it, and then you don't realize how little time you have left over, and then it suddenly happens and it doesn't properly sink in until it hits you in the face. Probably for the better, really, or we would've spent the last couple weeks clinging and fearing the day, and that just would've been depressing. As it was, we made the most of our time, and all the better for it.
Also, we got a better shot at the Denver hellhorse =D *pro at spoiling the sappiness*
Got to the airport, went to check in and stuff as Fraze's parents went off to park the car, made our way to security check and that was it. We shared a final kiss, one to last us through the upcoming months.
(It doesn't really work, but you can't fault us for trying >>)
And off he went, and so did I, not knowing if I was feeling happy or sad or what. Probably a bit of both. I mean, that trip had been in daydreaming stages since at least 2010, I'd spent my entire teaching stint saving up for and looking forward to that one trip, and now it was over. Plus, y'know, that whole leaving Fraze behind thing.
But hey, each happy end is a brand new beginning. (Name the reference, win a cookie.)
Not that it was really over, because I was still in Denver. The rest was endless patience in cramped airplanes waiting to get home. Had the one flight to Minneapolis on time, followed by a brief-ish layover and another transatlantic flight to Amsterdam. Nine and a half hours. Read a bit of Pratchett's Making Money, decided to give in-flight movies a go, watched Puss in Boots (decent), Johnny English Reborn (pretty good) and Toy Story 3 (cut in half because the plane was landing just as Ken was shakin' his booty, which isn't a mental image I recommend for being stuck in anyone's brain as they head out for a long layover).
Interesting thing is, I got out of the US without anyone checking my passport. For all my fussing about not overstaying my visa time, nobody would've been any wiser if I'd left a month later. I only had to show the passport when getting into Amsterdam, which was a breeze because nya-ha-ha EU citizen. Then I finished Making Money during my layover and sat bored for an hour. Finally got home a few days later; home here meaning Tallinn airport, which is still a few hours out from my hometown. It was 1 p.m. on the 30th. No sleep since 6 a.m. MST on the 29th.
The parentses treated me to... lunch/dinner/very late midnight snack/I don't even know any more, and I got home proper at 6 p.m. or so.
Then went online and stayed up until 1 a.m. because this is how I roll.
***
This feels a bit like it's owed an epilogue.
What can I say? You just followed a thread that itself followed three months' worth of a journey in more than one meaning, an insane once-in-a-lifetime sort of journey I undertook with the love of my life (and which we, more importantly, both survived without slitting each other's throats x3). What do you even say to end something like that?