needs arthours review please

[mushroom]

sol_luna_estrella said:

Okay, here's the first part of my editing and stuff:
Doom92 was in his beutiful Neohome. As he lain on his bed

Shouldn't it be "As he laid..."? I'm not sure, but it sounds more correct to me.

The giant figure suddenly jumped up and out streched his hands, and started to fly.

This is really an optional, minor thing, but maybe giving a reason why Mysterious Giant Figure starts flying now, rather than having done so the whole time. Maybe Mysterious Giant Figure could reach a clearing or something from which he can easily get up to the sky, rather than having to knock himself out on tree braches above him. I dunno; it might make a bit more sense that way.

Overall, though, this is really neat (especially once the errors others have pointed out are corrected). I'd like to read more.

[sollunaestrella]

adoriblelapin said:

You know, Jateshi, I used to thinkie you were a boy. I used to thinkie Megz was a boy. I used to think SOL_LUNA_ESTRELLA was a boy. Wow. And meowth4, and . . . I feel . . . high on sugar. XD

You seriously thought I was a boy...?

I thought jateshi was for a while too as well as Megz. When I first came here, I thought Megz was because she's calvinseviltwin and all....

But sol_luna_estrella is even kind of a girlish name....

Oh, well.