Matter

[Tam]

Jul 2, 2011 1:10:35 GMT -5 Rikku said:

Jul 2, 2011 1:00:27 GMT -5 Tam said:

Update your word count: 1

xD; Using the wordcounter to count pages instead of words this month. I mean. I doubt my script will be 50 000 words anyway, unless I plan to write several hundred pages. But that means that the site won't technically register my win at the end of the month, even if I do make it to the 100 page goal (I'm already behind, though, so I'd better get cracking).

Soyes. When we get halfway through the month and my wordcount is 50, don't think I'm too pathetic.

=D Cunning! And I think it's neat, even if the site doesn't quite support it. It's, like, everyone's gathered around the fire to tell scary stories, and you're the one that sings a ballad. That person.

... I should totally write a ballad.

Also, just the thought of trying to write fifty thousand words of script makes my head hurt. xD ... Imagine writing fifty thousand pages, ye - actually that'd probably be shorter! Huh. Scripts are weird.

xD; Er. I sincerely hope my scriptwriting is better than my singing, for all your sakes.

And at my current rate of writing — which, admittedly, is more dense than most of the script will be, because there's a lot of preliminary description and not much dialogue so far — it would only take me 172 pages. Which isn't as bad as I thought, but still a heck of a lot more than I think I can manage in a month. xD;

[Tam]

Seven pages! Things really took off once I got to the dialogue. xD Stuff's pretty easy to format, and there's a lot of dead space. Still, 1592 words before I go to bed on the first day. Not too bad.

I'd post the whole teaser, because it works well together, but that's all I've written so far so it seems a little excessive. Er. How about this part of it, then?

SPOILER: Click to show

Fade in:

EXT. MONTREAL AERIAL VIEW - DAY

UNKNOWN ENGLISH MAN (VO)
(overdramatically)
Greetings once again to you, the
lovely people of Montreal!

INT. SMALL OFFICE - DAY

IRIS MCKELLAN (22) sits in front of a COMPUTER at her desk. The room around her is small, cramped, and full of overstocked shelves. Most contain books, but some show off other odds and ends such as a set of brass scales and various colourful bottles. Most of the clutter has been organized into neat stacks.

Iris smiles to herself as her fingers hit the keys. We catch a glimpse of what she is typing, and see that they are the same words as those being spoken by the voiceover.

Unknown English Man (VO)
And what a gorgeous day it is. I
daresay it's one of those days when
everything feels right with the world,
know what I mean?

INT. ALCHEMY LAB - NIGHT

A TOE TAG marked with an indeterminate scribble hangs from a pale foot that dangles off the end of a wooden table.

A wider view reveals a room bristling with equipment that would look at home in a chemistry lab. But this is clearly not a chemistry lab, at least not an honest one — the decor more closely resembles someone's basement. A complex jumble of machinery has been set up around the body on the table, ranging from vaguely medical-looking displays to a laptop computer to what appears to be a small steam turbine. The body, particularly its head, is covered in electrodes. Several IV tubes run from the dead man's wrists to nearby liquid-filled packages on stands. Electrical cords crisscross between the body and the machines like strands of a spiderweb.

Darting around in the tangle is CHARLIE BARTLETT (57), wearing a heavy leather apron, gloves, and construction goggles. He places both hands on the surface of the turbine and closes his eyes as if listening for something underneath the thing's roar.

Unknown English Man (VO)
Except it's not. No. Not quite.
It has recently come to my attention
that some poor, misled souls among
you have begun to doubt my existence.
This strikes me as a very rude thing
to discuss behind someone's back, or
any time at all, really. I am
perfectly indignant to have apprehended
such insidious rumours, I assure you.
If I did not exist, then I hope I would
be the first to know.

Charlie walks over to one of the IV stands. He pulls a PERMANENT MARKER from his coat pocket and carefully draws three rune-like sigils on the bag. He does the same for two more of the packages, then moves over to the body. He draws one of the sigils — a circle containing a pronged symbol () ringed with fire — on the man's chest. He then reaches into a COPPER BOWL near the body and applies a strange red paste to the man's chest and abdomen around the symbol.

INT. IRIS'S OFFICE - DAY

We see the same symbol on the cover of one of the books on Iris's shelf. Iris continues to type, mouthing the words as the voiceover speaks them.

Unknown English Man (VO)
You see, Montreal is, in my opinion,
the best city in the world for an
alchemist to make his name in. Eclectic.
Mélangé. Accepting of many talents.
I like to think I've made my name here.
I like to think Xander Sluggo is a name
you and your family can trust.

INT. CHARLIE'S LAB - NIGHT

Charlie produces an unmarked CD-ROM from an envelope in his coat pocket. His hands shake as he looks at it, then inserts it into the computer.

Unknown English Man (VO)
So you see why it wounds me that my
existence should once again be called
into question. Really, my friends,
after all this time? When have I ever
let you down? And as for making public
appearances, well, I am afraid I am
a very busy man. I am also, as you
know, unbearably shy — in spite of the
rugged good looks and easy charm I am
blessed with.

Charlie moves much faster now, although the man on the table is still quite clearly dead. He attaches a BAG VALVE MASK to the dead man's mouth and alternates CPR-style chest compressions with squeezes on the bag.

Unknown English Man (VO)
In short, asking whether or not Xander
Sluggo exists is much like asking whether
or not God exists. The answer to both
questions is essentially the same: it's
impossible to know for sure, but it's
probably safer if you just give him the
benefit of the doubt.

Charlie abandons his physical resuscitation routine and reaches for a pair of DEFIBRILLATOR PADDLES, marked with sigils.

We can now see Iris's typing superimposed over Charlie's activities.

Unknown English Man (VO)
And so, my friends, the lovely people
of Montreal, I can only ask you to do
what I've always asked you to do. I
will ask you to simply trust me. Trust
that I am really as handsome as you
imagine me to be. Trust that I am the
best alchemist in the whole of Montreal.
And trust me when I say that Xander
Sluggo—

Charlie turns on the defibrillator and takes a deep breath.

Unknown English Man (VO)
—is very—

He presses the paddles onto the body, which convulses weakly.

Unknown English Man (VO)
—much—

He does so again.

Unknown English Man (VO)
-alive.

He applies the paddles once more, but is knocked abruptly out of the way when the body snaps upright, gasping into the bag valve mask, green eyes wide open.

I apologize for the inevitably wonky formatting. >.> Hopefully you can still read it.

[insanepurpleone]

Can this be a real TV show now, please? The end bit is awesome and I can imagine me watching and going "whaaaaaaaat the eff NO YOU CAN'T GO TO COMMERCIALS NOW" XD

[Terra]

Aaaah I want this to be a real show, too. XD

(I wonder what casting would be like...)

[Rikku]

Much easier once you get to dialogue, yup. xD

And oh! <3 Oh that's so skillfully done, what with the - the introductions of things being done so cleverly and smoothly and gah that is brilliant.

... Seriously I would make a fanclub for this show. =D And make all my friends watch it, and memorise bits of the dialogue and, and write ballads. Fanballads. Possibly just amusingly bad fanfiction. I so totally would.

[Tam]

...You guys, you're going to make me complacent if you keep complimenting me like this. xD;

But thank you so much! <3 I'm so glad it seems like something you'd like to watch. And it is definitely gleeful for me to write, since my brain keeps going all, "The music here would be like this" and "The actress for Iris would need to be terrifying." It's way too much fun thinking about stuff like that. xD;

Anyway, just hit 13 pages. Er. This is actually really fast to write. xD; I think I'd better get to the important bits of the episode soon, or else I'm gonna end up with a 200-page script before I finally wrap up the plot.

SPOILER: Click to show

Iris
I need to see your chest.

Xander
(grinning)
I thought you'd never ask.

They are so fun.

Oh and also I got bored earlier and I was wondering about what the logo would be like if this were a real TV show so I made one.

I am so pathetic. =D

[Vapor]

I'm just gonna sit over here in the corner and squeal intermittently. Oh my goodness. xD I love that opening, it's a wonderful hook, and the mix of mundane and no-somuch, and the rapport I see between those characters shaping up so wonderfully that I can already imagine the dastardly dialogue-driven hijinks. And the logo. That's awesome. Ee. *gags self*

[Shadaras]

That intro is amazing. =D I want to watch this. I mean, seriously. It'd be hilarious.

I think I'm just going to end up repeating folk, so. xD I'll just go away and glee and let you write more.

[Kathleen]

This is awesome. The intro is all suspenseful and exciting and I could totally imagine it on film. I correct my previous statement to, I would definitely watch this. xD Also the logo is really cool because it's glowy-like.

... and basically I am just repeating what everyone else said, but nonetheless. =D yay?

[Tam]

Eheheheh. ^_____^; Thank you guys so much!

Stopping at 15 pages tonight. Writing didn't go too well. The characters were talking and things seemed fine at first, but the scene suddenly sort of crashed and burned. I can't balance Iris's indignation at having someone-clearly-pretending-to-be-Xander-Sluggo show up in her shop with Xander's amnesia and confusion over whether or not he's been brainwashed, and I keep being inconsistent with how much Xander "remembers" about alchemy (and Iris), and they sound like they're having about three different conversations, none of which mesh and argh. It's just really complicated and I think I've kind of cornered myself the way I've written this.

So, um. Yeah, I'll probably just rewrite this scene tomorrow. xD; I wouldn't normally do that for a NaNo, but I feel like these kinks are major enough that if I don't iron them out now, they'll make the rest of the story really unpleasant to write (and it's supposed to be so much fun once I get past this scene! I don't want to ruin it D:).

[Tam]

Better now! =D Rewrote most of yesterday's trainwreck, and just started Page 20. I should finish the first act by the end of this page.

SPOILER: Click to show

There is a sudden silence. "Xander" is stunned. Iris glares at him, anger still sparking in her eyes.

Iris
There. You wanted to know what's
going on, and now you know. Pat
yourself on the back for being the
first person to figure out my secret.

Xander
What do you mean I don't exist?

Iris
(rubbing her forehead)
Okay. You've got a whole
personality floating around in your
head that doesn't belong there, and
I don't know how much it knows about
any of this. So just shut up and
listen and I'll try to explain this
as simply as I can, alright?

Xander nods, confused. Iris takes a moment to gather herself.

Iris
I'm an alchemist. I'm a pretty
good alchemist, if you take my
customers' word for it. But alchemy
is old science. It's ruled by
tradition. I couldn't make it on
my own as a female alchemist, so I
invented a boss to draw in customers.
Xander Sluggo is a figment of my
imagination.

Xander
(deadpan)
Like Remington Steele.

Iris
(shrugging)
It was a good idea.

A pause.

Xander
You know, I don't believe you're
lying.

Iris
A rational deduction. Well done.

Xander shakes his head in confusion.

Xander
Then who the hell am I?

Iris
There we go. That's the question
we need to answer.

Xander
(groaning)
My head hurts.

Iris holds out the paper cup.

Iris
Welcome to my life. Drink this.

He does so, and makes a grotesque face as the mixture hits his tongue.

Xander
(incoherent noise of disgust)
Why on earth would I think I'm
someone who doesn't exist?

Iris
Because you're delusional.

Xander looks predictably unimpressed with this answer.

Iris
Listen. There are only two
operating alchemists in Montreal,
and the other one isn't as, let's
say, scrupulous as I am. If he can
think of a way to get one up on
me, he'll take it. Alchemically
altering someone's brain to make
them think they're my made-up
boss is a little theatrical, even
for him, but it's still totally
his style.

Xander
And who was I, that someone this
nefarious would involve me in his
plot?

Iris
My money's on innocent bystander.

Xander
So basically you're saying that
an evil alchemist kidnapped me,
took me to his secret lab, wiped
my mind, and gave me the
personality of an entirely
fictional character, just to
annoy you.

Iris
Basically, yes.

Xander shrugs, then downs the remainder of the mixture in one shot.

Xander
I have no idea why, but this all
makes perfect sense to me.

Iris
I'm not surprised. I wrote you
that way.

Edit: I watched an episode of Remington Steele for the first time in... what, six years? and I can now safely say that it is either hilarious or deplorable how much I let that show influence this script. Probably both.

...Heh. This was actually a really good show. >__>

[Tam]

Just hit Page 26. =D Getting into the meat of the story now. A little bit later than I wanted, page-wise, but I suspect I'm still being a bit heavier with the description than I ought to be (or than most real scriptwriters are). My estimate is that as far as would-be-screen-time goes, we're still only about fifteen minutes in, so I should still be on track. I dunno. We'll see.

I picked up a Shadow in the last scene. =D He is fun.

SPOILER: Click to show

Iris smiles. She has a nice smile, when she's not being completely terrifying with it. Xander and Shadow both find themselves grinning back, only slightly nervously, as she turns and leads the way out of the room. Shadow speaks to Xander behind her back as they walk.

Shadow
Your name's Xander? Like, Xander
Sluggo?

Xander
I'm told I'm the product of a mad
alchemy experiment.

Shadow
(unsurprised)
No kidding.

Xander
So, you and Iris, are you...?

Shadow
Nah, ours is a strictly
professional ghost hunting
relationship. Iris is married
to her work.

Xander
Oh, I see.

Shadow
You'd probably know that if you
were the real Xander Sluggo.

Xander
So people keep telling me.

Shadow
'Sides, I'm scared of her.

Iris
(over her shoulder)
I can still hear you, you know.

Shadow
We know.

Decided I hated the centred dialogue in the other excerpts I posted, so I'm trying out a different way of formatting (seeing as the tab-indentation I use on my word processor doesn't transfer over). Feel free to tell me if that makes it unreadable stuff like that yes.

[Tam]

Eheh. I didn't write anything yesterday — felt too blurry to focus — and today I just generally slacked off. I'm on Page 28 now, though, and hopefully I'll make it to 29 before I go to sleep.

SPOILER: Click to show

Mrs. Mauriac
What do you do, monsieur, if
you don't mind me asking?


Xander
Me? Ah... I'm a demon... slayer.

Mrs. Mauriac
Mon dieu, I don't think there are
any demons here.

Xander
Exactly.

Oh Xander. Way to make your reputation even more outlandishly Sue-ish. Stu-ish. You know what I mean.

[Tam]

Note to self: collaborate with Trilly more often.



Edit:

At This Rate You Will Finish On
February 13, 2057

*snicker*

[Tam]

Ran out of time to write today. I'm still ahead of quota, but I'm falling out of sync with the story. It's kinda... I dunno, I think I'm hitting the second week slump. It just doesn't seem all that clever or interesting right now.

I could use an early wakeup and a day of just churning out pages. Which. Is not going to happen tomorrow, due to the fact that it's 5:15 am and I have a million things I need to do around the house tomorrow anyway, but still. Hopefully soon.

I did scan my Shadow sketch, though.

SPOILER: Click to show

His hair is not really that crazy, but his goggles exacerbate the spikiness and I got carried away. Also, his goggles don't actually look like that. They're more like clunky night-vision goggles. But. Old sketch. So yeah.