|
|
Post by Carolyn on Sept 5, 2016 8:50:08 GMT -5
Rabbit ♠- Sometimes being by yourself can be a good way to meditate, especially if there are some good quiet places on campus. Working through social anxiety takes time--I would know. You're finding strategies at your own pace, and that's great! When I was in undergrad, I felt more secure talking with adults, so I would stop by a professor's office and tell them about some papers I read or some new scientific finding that was really fascinating. As long as they're not super busy, I bet they'd be really happy to see a student taking the initiative to learn.  You can also explore the nearby area, perhaps even look at the college calendar and ride to a local event (sometimes they have transportation to some really cool nearby places). Your suite friends will be back, but until then, mayhaps draw some natural things around campus, sketch a building or a fixture, research more about or visit the weather center you enjoy so much? There's always stuff to do, and who knows? While you're off gallivanting, you might just run into a person who shares your interests. You'll get through this, friend.
|
|
|
|
Post by Kozma on Sept 21, 2016 15:11:56 GMT -5
*big hugs for Celestial * Don't give up Celestial. I know finding a good job has been frustrating for you but please don't get discouraged. There have been many, MANY others who have faced this same kind of setback you're facing and the only ones who were failures were those who quit when things didn't go as expected. I think that the most successful people are those who keep trying no matter how bad things get. Don't give up; keep trying! |
|
|
|
Post by ♥ Azzie on Oct 9, 2016 14:40:57 GMT -5
CelestialThe former, 100%. Your mental health is a priority, and if people begrudge you that then those people are jerks. I know I've had to take a step back from world events a lot. It doesn't mean you don't care, it just means you care enough to know that you won't be healthy if you let yourself get bogged down with despair. This site is good for reminding yourself about good things happening in the world, too! We love you. <3
|
|
|
|
Post by Zoey on Oct 11, 2016 21:40:41 GMT -5
Coaster -hugs- I don't think I can ever truly understand how you feel, but as a fellow girl I've had extended periods where even after I slave away with working out and eating healthy and have people tell me girl you look amazing I still feel like utter crap and avoid mirrors, and it definitely isn't pleasant, so I can't even imagine how it must feel like to be in that mentality for your entire life. If I could actually see you in real life, I'd tell you every time how pretty I think you are. And maybe you don't believe it, but I am brutally honest, so I'll say it anyway. XD I won't lie and say that I have amazing advice for you, but what helped me was just having an awesome support group and friends just surprising me out of the blue by telling me how beautiful they think I am, not just physically, but as a human being as a whole. And Coaster doesn't just have pretty hair and eyes--she's also an amazing person with awesome character ideas (and probably equally awesome writing skills, but I will confirm that when I stumble upon more of it in the NTWF XD) and even more awesome CGI art and a kind heart, and she's insecure, but she still fights it everyday. So you do you and be awesome, girl!
|
|
|
|
Post by Tiger on Oct 11, 2016 23:10:34 GMT -5
Coaster -hugs- I don't think I can ever truly understand how you feel, but as a fellow girl I've had extended periods where even after I slave away with working out and eating healthy and have people tell me girl you look amazing I still feel like utter crap and avoid mirrors, and it definitely isn't pleasant, so I can't even imagine how it must feel like to be in that mentality for your entire life. If I could actually see you in real life, I'd tell you every time how pretty I think you are. :) And maybe you don't believe it, but I am brutally honest, so I'll say it anyway. XD I won't lie and say that I have amazing advice for you, but what helped me was just having an awesome support group and friends just surprising me out of the blue by telling me how beautiful they think I am, not just physically, but as a human being as a whole. :) And Coaster doesn't just have pretty hair and eyes--she's also an amazing person with awesome character ideas (and probably equally awesome writing skills, but I will confirm that when I stumble upon more of it in the NTWF XD) and even more awesome CGI art and a kind heart, and she's insecure, but she still fights it everyday. :) So you do you and be awesome, girl! (tag since I'm not sure this will tag you again) I agree 100% with Zoey, and can confirm you're a great writer as well! *hugs* |
|
|
|
Post by Thorn on Oct 15, 2016 5:06:21 GMT -5
*hugs you all* Gelquie Avery Carolyn Tiger Breakingchains @anyone else who needs a hug You guys are all wonderful special amazing peeps, you deserve to be happy and I hope you can be so soon. <3 |
|
|
|
Post by Gelquie on Oct 23, 2016 21:52:38 GMT -5
Mostly Harmless (flufflepuff) - (For the record, making another thread on the Banter board is fine even if you're the latest authors. It's slow as is, and it only doesn't look so good if they're in close succession time-wise. But even then, it's forgivable if the things are big, which they seem to be.) That out of the way... Woah dang, I'm so sorry you went through that. To be honest, it sounds to me like this guy was... using you. And was completely out of line as well, at the very least for the way-too-forward stuff he was doing. (The fact that he told you not to tell anyone about those is a huge warning sign, and it shows that he does know he shouldn't be doing that and that it may not just be cultural difference. He honestly sounds skeevy.)
It's also pretty bad that he tried to shift the blame of your anxiety back onto you. "You choose how you want to feel" may help in small situations, but I've found that this isn't the case in general. You feel what you feel. And the phrase doesn't help when you're having difficulties, especially ones from an external source. There were other things he could've said or done that might've helped you out in the job.
Basically, yeah, I think you're right in the assessments you've learned and put forth in your post. I'm glad you're out of there now, but I'm still sorry you had to deal with that. That wasn't fair to you at all.
|
|
|
|
Post by Breakingchains on Oct 24, 2016 6:11:51 GMT -5
Coaster What can we say? What would help?
|
|
|
|
Post by Carolyn on Oct 24, 2016 6:37:51 GMT -5
Mostly Harmless (flufflepuff)- Sweet monkeys, I'm so sorry you went through that. :S He was definitely using you, and I'm glad you got away from him. That he may have been grooming you towards accepting boundary-breaking behavior... yikes. Not at all okay. The fact that he manipulated your anxiety to try and get you to be closer to him is not okay, either. I can understand job desperation, I've been there. It saddens me greatly to hear that someone I know has been treated in such a way.  Just know that we're here for you and that you are away from him. From personal experiences that are eerily similar to what you went through... know that your personal comfort is always more important than a job. And if someone crosses that boundary to take advantage of you... try anything to get into another job. *Hugs* - I just wanted to let you know what we care, that you're amazing, and that we're here if you ever want to talk. <3 Stay strong, friend. You're tougher than you know and that you will get through this tough time in your life.
|
|
|
|
Post by Celestial on Oct 31, 2016 16:19:28 GMT -5
Massive hugs to Tiger and Avery. Seriously, what is with 2016 killing all the best people? You have my sincerest condolences. Hang in there, both of you. |
|
|
|
Post by Shinko on Nov 4, 2016 7:57:25 GMT -5
Not entirely directed at any one ranter in particular, but I've noticed a lot of my friends have been having a really hard time lately for one reason or another. I wanted to share with you guys something that I favorite'd on deviantART years ago, that never fails to make me smile, and which I feel needs to be expressed especially in trying times like these. fav.me/d4ohb43< 3 Love you all. |
|
|
|
Post by Celestial on Nov 23, 2016 10:29:55 GMT -5
Coaster, the way I see it, you have been dealt an absolutely awful hand in life but you have been powering through it even on really bad days and taking steps to improve. You're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. And certainly a lot more loved. <3 I am glad you are around, for example, and I am sure a lot of other people are. And when you care for someone and want them to be around, helping them along is not a problem. Even if depression makes you feel like a burden, you're nothing but. You're a brave, amazing woman who has been through a lot and is still fighting, but the fact that you are fighting even against the odds you've been dealt is an achievement in of itself.
|
|
|
|
Post by Reiqua on Dec 5, 2016 5:53:55 GMT -5
I know this is meant to be hugs for ranters, but I just wanna change things up just this once and post a hug for a gloater instead. Celestial congratulations so hard on your job. My own job search was long and drawn out and entirely un-fun, if only half as long as yours, but I feel entirely undeserving of my job (which I'm really enjoying) when I compare my own feeble efforts at pursuing jobs to your unshakable determination. You've worked so hard for this. You deserve this so much, and I hope your new workplace realises how incredibly lucky they are to have you. Your commitment is absolutely jaw dropping and I wish I had that <3 You go sister!! |
|
|
|
Post by Shinko on Jan 24, 2017 15:35:27 GMT -5
Celestial Believe me, I know how embarrassing and frustrating it is to put your all into something in the customer service industry and have people displeased to the point of complaining about you anyway. But it sadly happens, because people gon' be people, and really very rarely are we going to be absolutely perfect at something the first few times we attempt it anyway. Customers aren't entirely sympathetic a lot of the time to "I'm new" or "I'm still learning, bear with me" because they want the most bang they can get for their buck. IE they want perfection that can only be got from experience. *Hugs* I wouldn't stress yourself about it too much. Any job working with the public is going to see persnickity people being persnickity. Just try to let the snarling roll off your back. If you take everything belligerent customers say about you personally, you would be led to believe you were the most awful, no good, talentless hack imaginable- oh the tales I could tell about things that have been said too/about me, both in tour groups with museums and in retail. >_> Management has to take everything that is said seriously and act upon it, that's just their jobs. But even if the complaints are totally valid ones, never forget what I said before- you're new at this position. Nobody is going to be perfect the first time. You'll get better as you work at it. Chin up- remember how much you enjoy the subject matter, find that passion again, and work hard to prove the haters wrong.
|
|
|
|
Post by Reiqua on Jan 31, 2017 6:10:37 GMT -5
*hugs Shinko because she probably needs it* |
|
You can also explore the nearby area, perhaps even look at the college calendar and ride to a local event (sometimes they have transportation to some really cool nearby places). Your suite friends will be back, but until then, mayhaps draw some natural things around campus, sketch a building or a fixture, research more about or visit the weather center you enjoy so much? There's always stuff to do, and who knows? While you're off gallivanting, you might just run into a person who shares your interests. 
Just know that we're here for you and that you are away from him. From personal experiences that are eerily similar to what you went through... know that your personal comfort is always more important than a job. And if someone crosses that boundary to take advantage of you... try anything to get into another job. 
Quintessential