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Post by Fj0rd on Jul 2, 2010 8:25:58 GMT -5
Yeah, I... could wave my hands at an area of that chart, but it wouldn't help much. (20/80? 10/90? 23/77?) It's an interesting way to look at it, though. And yes, we will definitely listen. <3
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Post by Shadaras on Jul 2, 2010 9:40:14 GMT -5
Yeah, feel free to PM me.
That scale amuses me. Sure, I could give a number, but it doesn't really fit, seeing as there's bias (due to me currently having a girlfriend), and that for all that I like the aesthetics of people, it's personality that I fall in love with. Which is kinda evident from how easy it is for me to love people online, who I have never even seen. Butyeah, that's me.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2010 9:46:44 GMT -5
I will be watching this group with interest. o:
Free cookies for all. :3 *Hands out cookies*
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Post by Rider on Jul 2, 2010 10:49:54 GMT -5
[glow=red,2,300]Now this is interesting. I never thought of making a group like this before, but now that it's here, it seems like it should've been here all along. ^_^ Did I mention that Sam rocks?
Anyway, yeah, I'm bi. Dunno where on the chart I'd fall. I have a boyfriend, but I came out if the closet recently to my family 'cause I thought it was the courteous thing to do. It wasn't difficult at all. I'm so lucky to have an accepting family.
Which brings me to the question: Coming out of the closet. Thoughts on it? Any interesting stories? Do you guys think that every queer should come out of the closet, or are there circumstances in which it's better to hide it? (For example, elected officials or clergy, not that I personally believe that there's anything wrong with having an LGBT person in those positions, but others may.)
Also: cookies. <3 [/glow]
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Post by Gav on Jul 2, 2010 17:50:09 GMT -5
The coming out thing is always a bit tricky I think. And to what extent you decide to do it. Honestly? People are usually good judges of who they want to come out to. (Not always, though) It's a lot easier to do it to friends online, but in real life it's tricky- it depends on how conservative the society/family is. Personally, I don't really see myself coming out to my dad, for example. He's a great person and all, but after living with someone for so long you just know that no matter how much you'd want it to come out better, you know it wouldn't turn out well. Whereas it would be easier for me to do it if say, someone at work asked me. It's apparently easier the less personally you know the person.
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Post by Enn on Jul 2, 2010 18:09:30 GMT -5
I've added you to the list, Rider :3
My coming out was... unpleasant. My Dad was cool with it, but my Mum started having hysterics, refusing to speak to me, calling the Samaritans like she was suicidal... it took years for things to sort of even out on that front, it became something we didn't speak about, until it finally just calmed down and now we discuss my boyfriend. She even likes him and sends birthday and Christmas pressies. Her initial panics included whether we were underage at the time (nope), worrying I'd get HIV, disappointment in not getting grandkids from me (despite having other grandkids)... all hysterical stuff, in my opinion. So yeah, it was particularly unpleasant, especially the first few days after I came out. But with time it's gotten better.
I don't like telling that story really, since I don't want it to put other people off, but it is a thing that can happen. D:
Anyway, I come out to friends and close family now, and just don't talk about my sex life with other members of my family- since I don't like most of my family and don't think I would talk about my sex life if I was dating a girl. I see them as rarely as possible and talk as little as possible.
All the friends I've come out to since have been amazing though <3
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Post by Tam on Jul 2, 2010 18:23:57 GMT -5
That scale is definitely interesting. =D I consider myself straight, but based on that scale it would really be more like 75/25 (which, again, doesn't exist, but I think I fall in between the two closest descriptions). It's funny, because even among people who aren't in the slightest bit homophobic, there tends to be this assumption that either a person is straight, or they're gay. And sure, you can't simplify everyone by placing them under subheaders on a chart — but I think it's a decent way to remind the world that there are so many intermediate shades when it comes to human sexuality.
...Anyway, I think this thread is a great idea. =D I'll probably be lurking around from time to time too.
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Post by Sock on Jul 2, 2010 20:54:02 GMT -5
Do asexuals count?
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Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2010 20:59:22 GMT -5
Hmm, that scale is very interesting, though I have to ask ... I appreciate personality, and to some extent beauty, in everyone, but mostly personality, but I am only sexually attracted to one and he's very glad of that. xD Shade said she is attracted to personality so does sexual attraction play a part in that?
Also, I feel like this might be an awkward thing to say, but I've seen too much of this to not do anything. To anyone and everyone who has been persecuted by any person claiming to be a Christian, I apologize on their behalf. There is no excuse whatsoever and that sort of behaviour is NOT the Christian way ... it makes me rather ashamed of them.
To clarify, most Christians do believe that homosexuality (or any other sexual orientation) is wrong BUT that does not stop us (me) from being able to love and cherish the people. I personally do my best not to judge (sometimes I fail) and really, those who make an issue of it are using religion to mask their personal homophobia. Pay them no heed, 'cause I luff you all.
Oh and Shade, when you say you can "love" people online, what sort of love are you talking about? I'd say I love you because of your personality, but I don't love you as anything but a friend. <3
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Post by Enn on Jul 3, 2010 5:10:36 GMT -5
Sure, I don't see any reason why they wouldn't! :3 This is a discussion about sexuality, and that includes asexuals, by my figuring. Want me to add you to the list? I should also point out that straight people, anyone really, can be added to the list xD It really seems to just have turned into a list of people who are gonna chat here frequently or be willing to take PMs. So far the only people I'm not adding are the ones who seem to be suggesting they'll just lurk around. Which is also a cool thing to do <3
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Post by Sock on Jul 3, 2010 6:27:36 GMT -5
Sure, I don't see any reason why they wouldn't! :3 This is a discussion about sexuality, and that includes asexuals, by my figuring. Want me to add you to the list? I should also point out that straight people, anyone really, can be added to the list xD It really seems to just have turned into a list of people who are gonna chat here frequently or be willing to take PMs. So far the only people I'm not adding are the ones who seem to be suggesting they'll just lurk around. Which is also a cool thing to do <3 Sure, add me to the list. :D I'll also accept PMs, though I have more personal experience on the asexuality front than on the GLBT front. I'll do my best however.
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Post by Fj0rd on Jul 3, 2010 16:54:36 GMT -5
Mmph, yeah. Coming out was hard enough for me, knowing that my family and the vast, vast majority of my friends would be completely okay with it. I don't think it's necessarily ideal to do it for everyone in every situation--it can be a great relief to have that out there and off your chest, but there are other factors too, always.
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Post by Shadaras on Jul 4, 2010 8:49:23 GMT -5
Hmm, that scale is very interesting, though I have to ask ... I appreciate personality, and to some extent beauty, in everyone, but mostly personality, but I am only sexually attracted to one and he's very glad of that. xD Shade said she is attracted to personality so does sexual attraction play a part in that? [...] Oh and Shade, when you say you can "love" people online, what sort of love are you talking about? I'd say I love you because of your personality, but I don't love you as anything but a friend. <3 It's... an interesting topic, to me, because I still haven't figured it out myself. Start with this. I can love anyone so long as I understand them. That's the basic kind of love; a level that spreads throughout all humanity if I'm in the right sort of mood. It's an interesting effect, but not what you're asking about. (Though really, this is as far as it goes for most people. The more I understand someone, the more deeply I can love them.) What does it take for me to be attracted to someone? I need to Love them. That... I can't explain it, really. It's something like the understanding-love, because it's based off it, but that's not the whole of it. I love for personality and for who someone is. Physical attraction helps, but personality and confidence make someone beautiful. None of my friends at this camp whose appearance I like are classically beautiful. None of them. The one who comes closest, I had a crush on at one point but I never particularly liked his facial structure and looks. So, appearance only matters insofar as it's something striking, or unique, or perfectly suited to the person. I can't really tell. Yes, from only knowing someone online I can want someone, even without seeing a picture of them. How far does that go? I live online, I sometimes think. I'm a writer; I write, and the words are magic. Attraction and love go as far as they go. That can be quite far, or that can be nowhere, but it still exists in a state of uncertainty, because seeing people and hearing them and feeling them really is a part of attraction for me; the people I can't help but follow around, the friends who are lovers (to quote a lovely quote whose author I can't remember at the moment. Pearl something?) and who I trust completely. This isn't really an answer so much as a big 'I don't know', but I can't really explain more than that right now. Maybe, given full sleep and more time to think, I would. But I don't know. xD
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Post by Rider on Jul 4, 2010 11:18:46 GMT -5
[glow=red,2,300]Shade, you've certainly got a way with words. <3
Yeeeah, I've been treated to the "You don't know what it's like, coming out of the closet!" schpeal from a friend who is very dear to me, and whose family I know would be okay with him, regardless of his sexuality. I try to be understanding, though, and listening to everyone else's views of the closet is certainly helping in that regard.
By the way, I'm with Sarn here, and I'd also like to put it out there that "gay Christian" is not an oxymoron. <3 Go gay Christians! [/glow]
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Post by Anonymous on Jul 4, 2010 13:02:51 GMT -5
Posting as a guest in case anyone from my real life stumbles across this. >_> I don't really care that much if you guess who I am, but I don't really want anyone from real life seeing me post this and questioning me for it.
Anyway, I'm glad that scale was posted, because now I know it's normal to be heterosexual and still acknowledge the attractiveness of your same sex. I mean, I've always been het, but I still acknowledge attractiveness in girls, to the point where I feel awkward around girls in low-cut dresses. But, well, I'm attracted to guys. I want to date guys. I want to marry a guy. And I don't feel that way toward girls.
That said, I feel like I've always been a little more tolerant to this sort of thing than the rest of my family, or anyone else from my real life for that matter... which brings me back to why I'm posting this as a guest, because I feel like if I said any of this to them they'd get mad at me. They've always been Strictly Het and Gay Is No, whereas I've always been a little more... well, I don't really make a big fuss of it like they do. I definitely prefer het and I only 'ship het, but I'm not going to be all "OH YUCK GAY 'SHIP GET IT AWAY FROM MY EYESSSS" all the time, you know?
...yeah. I'm not joining the group, I don't really belong in it, but I just wanted to post that. Wish you all the best of luck in discovering yourself, or whatever else comes to you in the lifestyles you chose.
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