Guilds in Disney Sauce

[Deleted]

((LONG. POST.

Looks like I'll be moving this forward. And with what I've got in mind, looks like the plot will actually be beginning. Apologies if I got anyone out of character... and for not actually finishing the song! And for introducing a new character who probably won't be anything more than an NPC.))


"W-wait a second!" Zylaa yelled. She was struggling, trying to get loose, though it didn't do much seeing as she was being held up by two large and burly men. "I'm sure this is all a big misunderstanding, and if you calmed down for a bit--"

Wait. Why was the mayor's entire mini-army of bodyguards surrounding her? Oh. Wait. It was to stop her from being able to do anything to the Mayor, who was now up and about as though he was not an old crook in any way.

For that matter, why was one of them a white non-morphic Alsatian/German Shepherd? And why did he suddenly go into script mode?!

MAYOR
Across the plains, through the woods
Near the ocean and the mountains
It's a needlessly long and boring ride

(The crowd booed, but that was to the boring-ness of the ride. I mean, did they even know about the bandits? Or the other various dangers on the way? Anyway, the mayor jumped onto a stage which had been previously occupied by actors.)

Say a prayer, then we're there
In the land held by other guilds
A world of nightmares waits on that side

(He drew back the curtain to reveal some hastily-drawn images of blatantly fantasy lands. For all the people knew, of course, it could be the rest of the NTWF. Zylaa saw through it instantly, not that she could do anything about it.)

They're the guilds, they have spells, powerful ones! (Crowd gasps)
Large machines, killer lasers for the thrills! (Crowd gasps again)
They are many, we're alone, but they won't reach our home!
They'll be gone, good and gone--

CROWD
Ban the guilds!

Somehow, Zylaa gained medium awareness and knew that the law enforcement of Steampunk City^TM were already on the move, apprehending people from the other guilds who were in the city. And to her frustration, there was apparently a ninja hiding somewhere... and the ninja hadn't been spotted. Or caught. *$#% ninjas!

"Yer' givin' orders on the boss's behalf, right Ada?" Biggs asked the dog. And to Zylaa's surprise, the white German Shepherd opened her mouth... and instead of barking, spoke.

"What are you, a dimwit?!" Ada snapped. "Just because I'm the top bodyguard doesn't mean I have absolute authority! The Mayor does! And he's going around being even flashier than is any good for him!"

"That don' answer my question!"

Ada sighed. "Just put that... weasel in the jail for now. I'll get the watchmen to interrogate her later."

Meanwhile! The song went on. The townsfolk had been sufficiently riled up to become a mob... which served absolutely no point now that the law enforcement had been put into action.

MOB
Light your torch and pitchforks!

MAYOR
Throw your fear aside and follow me!

MOB
We're counting on the Mayor to survive
Across the plains, through the woods
Near the ocean and the mountains
It's a wonder that there's anything alive
They're the guilds, they number in the thousands
We won't rest 'til they're many miles away
Sally forth, tally ho
Grab a musket, here we go!
Grab your sword, here we go!

Meanwhile, the mayor's daughter was in her room, hearing the whole commotion. And she was upset - with good reason, might I add. After all, while we could talk about the opportunities that the Mayor would be shutting out thanks to his peoples' paranoia, she didn't think that way.

Meanwhile to that meanwhile, there was one ninja successfully hiding in the shadows. Successful, because this one was of a species that specialised in stealth.

"Blast," the ninja muttered.

And meanwhile to THAT meanwhile, a certain designated villain smiled. Mostly because she'd somehow gotten word of what was happening. She had an idea... it'd just take a little creativity to pull it off.

And meanwhile to ALL THOSE MEANWHILES, Kwoi, writing this needlessly long post, has a headache, and knows that she'll probably regret writing at least half of this when she wakes up the next morning. She needs to watch more Disney movies. I mean, did any of them have plots THIS complex?

[Zylaa]

((Yay! Thanks for finishing it. <3 Also XDDD at the hiding ninja. Oh and also, as for plot being complex-- I mean srsly, this is just pretty much Pocahontas with a bit of Aladdin thrown in. We've got the angry Steampunk guild locking up the other guilders, and then Goosh and Sarn will fall madly in love and convince her father to stop the attack and the guilds to live in harmony. It's not that bad. ))

[Huntress]

((And lo, hijacking other people and pushing them shamelessly out of character shall hereby continue with full speed.))

The Steampunk guild was preparing for war. There were voices of reason among the city council who thought that giving the new guilds a chance might be a fairly good idea, but then word was brought that a huge fleet of ships was nearing the coast by the city, and the citizens instantly swung to full defenses. Steps hurried to and fro on the streets, mothers brought their crying children indoors, shutters were being closed.

And all this time, the mayor's beautiful daughter was sitting in her room in one of the highest towers of the city hall that had a clear view on most of the city and the turmoil that was churning in it at the moment. She was worried, terribly so. And rather angry, too. She was sure that these new guilds weren't a threat, that they could learn so much from each other if only they were given a chance, that it didn't have to be like that. If only she could do something to stop all this. But daddy had told her to go to her room and stay there as soon as she'd gotten back from the city, and while her door wasn't locked or guarded, she knew that anyone in the city hall would instantly recognize her and usher her back into her room if she was to go out.

So she was standing by the open window instead, staring wistfully into the distance. Those ships that were coming, or said to be coming... ships from another land, from another world, she was sure that they were full of wonders and marvels beyond imagination. And they were all destined to be destroyed by the city's forces. And there was nothing she could do.

Sarinon felt the urge to fly out of the window or fight her way through the hallways, escape the city and seek out the incoming fleet to warn them, but there was nothing she could do. So she did the only thing she could do: collapsed on the carpet next to the window in a crying little heap.

"If only... if only I could get out of here somehow..." she sobbed.

There was a faint, very faint 'glingleglingleglingle' sound, interwoven with the sound sparkles are generally believed to make, although it's unknown why it's generally believed, considering that sparkles tend to be fully silent. A column of sparkles - the kind usually believed to make that sound - rose in the air and then formed into a woman in a sparkly red dress and a mass of straggly hair that was pinned up with a magic wand.

Sarinon, preoccupied by sobbing, didn't notice. Which gave the newcomer some time to cast a look around, shake some sparkles out of her ear, pause with a thoughtful look on her face as if making sure that everything she was about to say sounded right in her ear, and then coo:

"Oh, you poor, poor dear."

Admittedly, it wasn't very good cooing, since her voice was clearly made for barking orders and cooing mostly made it sound like a creepy trying-to-be-nice villainess, but she couldn't do anything about it and crying people don't generally notice those things anyway. Sarinon turned around with a little gasp.

"Who're you? How did you get in here?"

"Why, I'm your fairy godmother," said the fairy godmother, now floating in the air to stress that point. "I'm here to help you."

Sarinon stared at her in disbelief. "I have a fairy godmother?"

"Quite so. Sorry I never called." The syrupy cooing was rather failing by now, but picked up as the godmother asked, "You're worried about the new guilds, am I right? You don't want them to fight your hometown."

"Yes, well." Sarinon hung her head. "Or rather, I don't want my hometown to fight them. I'm sure there's so much we could learn... if only I could go and help them somehow." She looked up abruptly. "Can you help me leave the city and go to them?"

"It'll be dangerous," said the godmother.

"I don't care."

"Didn't think so. Alrighty then." The cooing was now completely gone as the godmother skipped into matter-of-factly talk mode. "It'll cost you, though. About, shall we say, two hundred shinies?"

"But I thought fairy grandmothers-"

"Yeah, everyone thinks that. I need to eat, you know."

Money wasn't a problem for the daughter of the mayor, so a short while later a backdoor opened and two figures dressed in very inconspicuous hooded grey robes snuck out. They hurried down the streets - and everyone was hurrying down the streets at the time, so nobody paid them any attention, more so because they were wearing inconspicuous hooded robes - and eventually came to the woods surrounding the city.

"There we go," said the godmother, lifting her hood back. "Piece of cake. Off you go then, child, and be careful."

Sarinon, also lifting her hood off, stared at the dark woods before her. "What, alone?"

The fairy godmother gave it a moment's consideration, then snapped her fingers idly and a small dark blue meepit fell out of thin air. He bounced down, looked confused for a moment, then had a look at the two ladies, made a grimace and said, "Oh crud, not again."

"None of that talk," warned the fairy godmother, pulling out her wand. "You'll need a horse, child. A smart one, otherwise I could just use a mouse. This is Bloody Mary, he'll help you. Stand still, you."

"Yes'm," grumbled the meepit, and Sarinon watched with fascination as the little rodent grew into a magnificent stallion - a dark blue stallion, so after a brief moment of pondering, the godmother tinted him black, then added a saddle and bridle and nodded rather happily.

"There we go. Off you go, my dear. And you look after her, Bloody Mary."

Minutes later, the soft thudding of hooves disappeared into the woods.

[Celestial]

((*joins in with the godmodding of characters* Apologies if anybody is out of character. >>;; ))

Celestial was still in the Mage Guild, considering her plan and generally slouching about on her
chair. Villains had to slouch and never seemed to suffer from any kind of injury from improperly sitting on the chair. She wondered how they did that. Must have been not having to carry the wings.

She got up, a plan forming in her head. Admittedly it was cliche and relied a lot on how other people reacted but it was flexible enough. Many of the guild members were trapped inside the city thanks to their curiousity. There would be nobody to stop her in the confusion. The riots and hatred towards the guilds in the Steampunk city had already reached her via some very talkative and plot-convenient dragonets who were right now noisily munching on the last of her pepperoni slices. Dragons seemed to like those.

Celestial jumped up on the window sill and took off, preferring efficiency over style in this situation. As she cleared the Manor, she turned into her dragon form. It was better and faster to arrive this way. Most people usually stopped whatever they were doing and just stared if a giant dragon passed over them. Even if the leader of the city decided to retaliate, she had an even more powerful weapon at her disposal.

Beneath her, a horse raced by from the city. On it, in a sparkly, poofy dress that reflected so much light it looked like it was glowing, was a girl. By the sheer amount of shiny on that dress and the fact that she was coming from the city, this must have been the rebellious princess of the story. Celestial stopped and hovered above them, grinning. A traditionalist has got to do what a traditionalist had got to do. She turned back into her human form and landed right in front of the girl and her horse.

"Hello there miss!" she said as amiably as possible but keeping a wary eye on the steed. Something was off about that horse. It looked like it was about to bite you but unlike normal horses, this one looked just as wary of her as she did of him. Not to mention the fact that he looked very familiar.

"Oh, hello!" the princess said with a lot of surprise, obviously not used to meeting dragon girls in the middle of a forest. The horse eyed her suspiciously.

"Now look here you, don't try anything. You don't want to get on the wrong side of the fairy godmother," it- he said. Celestial stared.

"Bloody Mary? Wow, you look different! Although if I were you I wouldn't go near Shiva. There's no telling how he will handle competition," she laughed, giving a few sly looks on the side. Bloody Mary was clearly not amused. The Mage coughed and looked at the princess.

"Anyway, I heard an anti-guilders riot had broken out at the new place. Some of my guild mates were there and I wanted to see how they were as well as maybe help them learn to work together. Don't worry about transport, I can carry all of us," she said, still maintaining a smile. Hopefully the princess will not be too Genre Savvy and accept that offer. Please let her be an idealist, please let her be an idealist...

"We can't trust her," Bloody Mary said to the girl. Celestial rolled her eyes.

"I'm telling the truth you know. No need to get snappy because I made that joke about Shiva," she shrugged. The mage was not keen on fighting the meepit, especially if he was a stallion and there was a Godmother involved.

"Well...alright. If you promise to help me," the princess said. Celestial only flashed her that kind smile.

"Don't worry, I'll try and convince Steampunk that they need the guilds. Now, we'll go faster if we fly so..." she trailed off shapeshifting into her dragon form. The girl hesitated.

"Urgh, I forgot. Listen, all those stories about dragons kidnapping lovely young girls to devour are false. Dragons prefer organic food," the Mage said, trying to keep the annoyance out of her voice. Not giving the princess girl any more time, she lifted her up and put her on her back, taking off before Bloody Mary could say anything.

The princess was actually the daughter of the Mayor, which was close enough. As Celestial flew, she told her that the name was Sarinon. It was a nice name, one that did fit somebody like her. The mage felt a bit sorry for taking her hostage, she seemed like such a nice girl. But rules were rules and even a Genre-Savvy villain had to sometimes go by them.

She flew over the city and headed for the highest building. Below her people were staring up, frozen in the middle of what seemed to be a classic torch-and-pitchfork riot. There was even a catchy song still in the air, hanging around even though it had overstayed its welcome like an annoying guest. Celestial needed a catchy song and dance number but she had done enough for one day. Maybe when demonstrating her power...

Landing on a factory that felt like it was built out of the bones of mountains that had lots of calcium mines in them, Celestial reached around her back with a claw and took Sarinon off it, holding her tighly so she didn't fall but so it looked like she was in danger. The populace looked up.

"Listen up all of you! Yes, the Mayor too please since I have his lovely little daughter! Now, you will leave those guilders alone and surrender control of this city to me or else your princess-girl here will unfrtunately become a victim in the crossfire. Followed by everyone else" she shouted out across the city. Let it all begin. Although she really needed to work on her speeches. That one was awful.

[Huntress]

((Whoazors, a straightforward villain. How refreshing.

Also, because I know you lot have been wondering what Hunty in fairy godmother mode could possibly look like:



On a sidenote, looks like Bloody Mary the trusty steed is now wandering through the woods alone and ready to be picked up by anyone who might want to hear the story and get all heroic as a result. And if anyone wants to NPCify the fairy godmother, feel free. She pretty much pops up whenever someone wants something very badly, grants the wish and asks money for it. What could possibly go wrong? x3))

[Deleted]

Sitting at her computer and being absolutely bored, Kwoi decided to cast Revive on the topic. This was going to be fun.

KWOI
Take me down to the Steampunk City^TM
Where the grass is brown and the ladies are-- *brickie'd!*
Ow! Ow! I'm sorry!

Sadly, no, that was not the Big Lipped Alligator Moment. If it ever happened, it would probably come later.

Now let's get back to Steampunk City^TM. We'll need to backtrack a little bit for this post to work. (I'm using "backtrack" in a very loose sense; the timeline's all over the place.) Remember how I mentioned that a ninja had escaped being caught by the city's "police" force? That ninja, who was a humanoid panther and not at all cute and/or cuddly in the traditional Disney sense (hey, he'd still have fans), was making his way to the nearest exit as quickly and stealthily as he could.

That meant using his L337 N1NJ4 5K1LLZ (actually parkour/freerunning) to move from building to building. Amazingly, despite being obvious even though he was a black-furred funny animal wearing black clothes, he was able to avoid being noticed. Perhaps the panicking people and busy "police" (and I use the term loosely) were too busy looking elsewhere.

That is, until - a row of buildings away from the gate and freedom - a boy spotted him.

"Look, mama! It's a ninja cat!"

Said ninja cat snarled some words which were very not G-rated. Kwoi bleeped them out.

What happened next happened very quickly. A number of guards moved to stop the panther from escaping. Bizarrely, some of them seemed to be felines themselves - and thus, climbing up the walls of the building that he was on.

Now was the time to act. Not that he hadn't already been acting, but he knew then and there that if he didn't do something, he too would be captured.

Which is precisely why, with one awesome-looking martial arts move, he sent the feline guards flying before running towards the gate with explosive speed. Several martial arts tricks later, he was out of Steampunk City^TM!

Except it wasn't over. He had to get back to the Dojo and warn the other ninjas what was going on. This... could take a while.

***

And a while later, after being in the woods for a while and having a dragon fly over him, the panther spotted a black horse. Except that this horse didn't quite smell like a horse. In fact, if anything, it smelled like...

A meepit. His fur stood on end and he bared his teeth. A pirate's hairball.

This was his chance! This panther was a proud ninja, and he didn't just dislike pirates. To him, they were worse than peasants. They were lower-status than a slave's slave, more hideous than the Great Old Ones^TM, less deserving of happy lives than mass murderers, and... well, all sorts of other things that he could think of. All of the non-ninja guilds were below him, but the pirates were the worst.

Unfortunately for him, Horsey Mary^TM had momentarily acquired either psychic powers or medium awareness. It ended in the same result: the meepit-turned-horse knew that an extremely arrogant ninja had just turned up, and he needed to be taught a lesson.

Via hooves with horseshoes. This being Disney, it wouldn't kill him. It would, however, leave him with a nasty headache, or even knock him unconscious.

WHACK!

***

And meanwhile, back in Steampunk City^TM, all of the citizens (amazingly) fell silent when Celestial made her speech. Okay, it was a terrible speech, but come on - she was threatening the Mayor's daughter! She was also threatening everyone else, and with both options, no less!

Option #1: Let the guilders go, thus letting our enemies go, and surrender control to this... non-Steampunk person.
Option #2: Don't let the guilders go, the Mayor's daughter dies, and lots of people die.

The one to break the silence was, amazingly, Biggs. Who was laughing. Ada looked at him like he was a lunatic.

[Deleted]

And now, my friends, it is time for Epic Post (Please Do Not Quote) Part II, in which the plot... changes! (And Kwoi apologises in advance for double-posting and getting anyone's character wrong. Except maybe Ada.)


Biggs was laughing. Ada hated that sound - his voice was unpleasant enough as it was, what with it sounding like it was being dragged through gravel and debris and tobacco. But aside from that, why in the heck was he laughing? This was serious! The mayor's daughter was in danger, her captor wanted power in exchange for her life, and Biggs was laughing?!

"Who do ya' think you are, ya big lizard?!"

"I am a dragon," the "big lizard" growled in reply, "and clearly you're a mindless thug."

"Thug?! I ain't a thug! The Mayor handpicked me! Cause we're the best bodyguards in this danged city! Heck, I'm the best!"

"No, Biggs," Ada spoke softly. "You are an egotistical idiot who just got fired."

"W-what?!" The huge, burly man with an unpleasant voice stared at the talking canine. Then at the gigantic dragon holding the Mayor's daughter. Then at Ada, then Celestial. Then at the sky, before he started crying and having a hissy fit like a toddler.

That done, Ada walked away from the other bodyguards, towards the dragon. An idea had formed in her mind - a plan, in fact.

"You. Dragon." She looked up at Celestial, standing as tall and strong as she could manage on all fours. "What's your name?"

The princess still hadn't gotten a word in during all of this. And apparently she couldn't during this scene. Which could only mean one thing...

"I am Celestial."

What kind of name is that? "Alright, Celestial." Please let this work! "I'm going to speak on behalf of this city. We agree to your demands--"

The uproar was enormous. Once again the mob was screaming, crying out for blood. And the Mayor was furious, his face turning red. His daughter, meanwhile, suddenly looked worried and terrified. For a split second the dragon had a worried expression too.

"--on three conditions!

"First, in exchange for letting the guilders go free, you will assist us in removing them from Steampunk territory. You want them to live and be free; we want them out. It's a fair deal.

"Our second and third conditions are in exchange for you becoming the new mayor. The previous mayor--" she shot a look at him, "--will become part of the city council, and therefore he will still have some power in decision-making.

Celestial growled. That was going to make her plan a tad more difficult.

"And for our third condition... you will place me in charge of the city's law enforcement!"

A collective "WHAT?!" came from... well, almost everyone who was there. Celestial nearly dropped the princess in shock, but managed to recover.

"Listen well, dragon." Ada began to smile. "You will agree to our demands, or we will not agree to yours. In fact, I'll give you... ten seconds to decide. Starting from...

"Ten."

Internally, Celestial was cussing up a storm. She'd barely even begun her plans and things were already going wrong.

"Nine."

Of course, being a genre-savvy villain she'd be able to think of a way out of this. But how?

"Eight."

This dog - this talking animal - clearly had plans of her own, and she'd managed to throw a wrench spanner in the works!

"Seven. Six."

The people were growing nervous. So was the princess. So was the mayor, and so was Celestial.

"Five!"

Dang it!

"Four!"

The princess whimpered.

"Three!"

I'm sorry.

"Two!"

"Fine!" She snapped. "Fine! I agree!"

Ada smiled - it was a smile worthy of a villain. "Excellent."


Meanwhile, back in the non-NTWF world, Kwoi sat back and smiled. Fourth wall aside; she was pleased.

[Deleted]

"Live!" shouted Sarinon, dangling from the neck of her very shiny, very poofy dress. And with her command, this thread immediately revived itself.

She continued to dangle as the dragon grudgingly accepted the terms given to her by what appeared to be a dog dressed as a city guard. She would have been puzzled by this had she not had other things to think about. The hardness of the cobbled street far below her, for example.

"Please, miss dragon, please put me down!" she wailed, thick pearly tears adorning her beautiful face, sliding down to splatter on her dress in a neat pool but miraculously leaving her poofy dress dry and undamaged.

"Down? Sure," growled the dragon. Sarinon realized her mistake too late. And by too late, I mean that she was already half way to the cobbles when it occurred to her that it might have been a wise idea to add "safely" to the end of her request.

Her poofy dress flew out like a parachute, slowing her fall only slightly. She gave a great wail as the ground flew closer as if in slow motion.

"Who will save me?" she cried out, a classic damsel in distress. Time stood still enough to let a prince of noble blood arrive on the scene in the knick of time.