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Post by KitClairvoyance on Mar 4, 2008 5:38:32 GMT -5
I find it amusing that Wolf ninja'd my post while I was writing it. Still, I guess it's coherent enough, just assume that Jonathan ran to Alec after Kit had moved on. One point of amusement is that Wolf posted more than four hours before me, and still managed to ninja me. Having said all that though, I don't like my post. Too many technical problems. I ninja'd...? O_o Sounds painful................ Oh, I think I get it now! ^_^ Well, anyways, I personally think your post is just fine, with no holes whatsoever (at least, that I can see). It's good to finally have you back (though I must admit, when I read this post, I though for a brief second you were actually Shade, though I should've known better, I know xD)).. I finally got around to reading through the entire roleplay. xD ..and the one thing that doesn't sit well with me is that I spent two thirds of that post on Kit's whereabouts. But I guess it can't be helped, since I was absent since the beginning. ..and I love what you've done with Casandra. Even though you've not really done anything at all, simply recognising her adds to her character. She--and almost all of the NPCs, for that matter--is a blank canvas, and every little brush stroke adds color and vividness to whatever portrait she will come to portray. No one person can paint her the best it can be; it needs to be a community effort, with everyone having a hand in adding to her detail, very much like a roleplay itself. :) =D .. Wolf understands the intricacies of a roleplay. You don't have to control a character to use him or her. It's about everyone coming together and adding their little bits here and there. That said, don't overcomplicate things. Like, don't start making Casandra have some relation to everyone. It's like Wolf said, it's a canvas. The whole roleplay is a canvas, and our characters are the colours. Overdo it, and you get a mess. Keep it simple, and you end up with something very nice. It's good to finally have you back (though I must admit, when I read this post, I though for a brief second you were actually Shade, though I should've known better, I know xD)) I actually experienced the same thing when I first read Shade's (real Shade, that is) post a few posts up. I think the fact that it was about roleplay quality added to my confusion. Yay. Victims abound! On the note of quality though, a little tip concerning dialogue. Try to get your point across in one post, instead of having several exchanges of posts like what you and Fenrix have now. I'm sure you've noticed that when you have an exchange of dialogue, your posts tend to become short (almost all of them are under the 150 limit), and you post in rapid succession (half the posts on the page are either yours or Fen's). Both of which aren't very good for a roleplay. So instead of: "Hi, can I talk to you for a sec?"
"We're in a meeting, can this wait?"
"But this is urgent"
"You haven't given me your name. And this meeting is interesting anyway."
"Sure, we'll meet after this meeting in private then."
You can shorten it to: "Hi. I know we're not on familiar terms, but there is a matter of urgency which I need to talk to you about. Perhaps we could talk it over in private later after this meeting?"
Let your actions do most of the talking for you. So if you want to get Fen's attention, tap her shoulder and then talk. Include a slight bow if you want to be courteous. Or perhaps have his eyes keep flicking to the dagger to show what his real interest is. Or if Bacon feels uncomfortable or doesn't trust Fenrix, have him be apprehensive in his speech. This gives Fen a good idea of your intentions, and it also allows you to get a lot more done in one post. ^__^ ..just a pointer, and this goes for everyone else as well, since dialogue will invariably happen between characters.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 4, 2008 10:15:57 GMT -5
I ninja'd...? O_o Sounds painful................ Oh, I think I get it now! ^_^ Well, anyways, I personally think your post is just fine, with no holes whatsoever (at least, that I can see). It's good to finally have you back (though I must admit, when I read this post, I though for a brief second you were actually Shade, though I should've known better, I know xD)).. I finally got around to reading through the entire roleplay. xD ..and the one thing that doesn't sit well with me is that I spent two thirds of that post on Kit's whereabouts. But I guess it can't be helped, since I was absent since the beginning. =D .. Wolf understands the intricacies of a roleplay. You don't have to control a character to use him or her. It's about everyone coming together and adding their little bits here and there. That said, don't overcomplicate things. Like, don't start making Casandra have some relation to everyone. It's like Wolf said, it's a canvas. The whole roleplay is a canvas, and our characters are the colours. Overdo it, and you get a mess. Keep it simple, and you end up with something very nice. I actually experienced the same thing when I first read Shade's (real Shade, that is) post a few posts up. I think the fact that it was about roleplay quality added to my confusion. Yay. Victims abound! On the note of quality though, a little tip concerning dialogue. Try to get your point across in one post, instead of having several exchanges of posts like what you and Fenrix have now. I'm sure you've noticed that when you have an exchange of dialogue, your posts tend to become short (almost all of them are under the 150 limit), and you post in rapid succession (half the posts on the page are either yours or Fen's). Both of which aren't very good for a roleplay. So instead of: "Hi, can I talk to you for a sec?"
"We're in a meeting, can this wait?"
"But this is urgent"
"You haven't given me your name. And this meeting is interesting anyway."
"Sure, we'll meet after this meeting in private then."
You can shorten it to: "Hi. I know we're not on familiar terms, but there is a matter of urgency which I need to talk to you about. Perhaps we could talk it over in private later after this meeting?"
Let your actions do most of the talking for you. So if you want to get Fen's attention, tap her shoulder and then talk. Include a slight bow if you want to be courteous. Or perhaps have his eyes keep flicking to the dagger to show what his real interest is. Or if Bacon feels uncomfortable or doesn't trust Fenrix, have him be apprehensive in his speech. This gives Fen a good idea of your intentions, and it also allows you to get a lot more done in one post. ^__^ ..just a pointer, and this goes for everyone else as well, since dialogue will invariably happen between characters. ^___^; Yeah, I noticed I as doing that, normally I don't, but I couldn't really find out what else to say, since he was so vauge. I'll work on that. *scuttles away*
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Post by Bacon on Mar 4, 2008 10:39:22 GMT -5
On the note of quality though, a little tip concerning dialogue. Try to get your point across in one post, instead of having several exchanges of posts like what you and Fenrix have now. I'm sure you've noticed that when you have an exchange of dialogue, your posts tend to become short (almost all of them are under the 150 limit), and you post in rapid succession (half the posts on the page are either yours or Fen's). Both of which aren't very good for a roleplay. So instead of: "Hi, can I talk to you for a sec?"
"We're in a meeting, can this wait?"
"But this is urgent"
"You haven't given me your name. And this meeting is interesting anyway."
"Sure, we'll meet after this meeting in private then."
You can shorten it to: "Hi. I know we're not on familiar terms, but there is a matter of urgency which I need to talk to you about. Perhaps we could talk it over in private later after this meeting?"
Let your actions do most of the talking for you. So if you want to get Fen's attention, tap her shoulder and then talk. Include a slight bow if you want to be courteous. Or perhaps have his eyes keep flicking to the dagger to show what his real interest is. Or if Bacon feels uncomfortable or doesn't trust Fenrix, have him be apprehensive in his speech. This gives Fen a good idea of your intentions, and it also allows you to get a lot more done in one post. ^__^ ..just a pointer, and this goes for everyone else as well, since dialogue will invariably happen between characters. Ah, I see... I'm not used to that kind of post, ya see... it doesn't come naturally to me to write three different sentences at one time without knowing what the response to the first one is. Also, I'm not really sure why I haven't written something like "Sir Bacon's eyes uneasily went back to the dagger when she spoke", myself, or any other such action. *shrug* I guess I'll try harder to make future posts more detailed and action -packed filled.
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Post by KitClairvoyance on Mar 4, 2008 10:58:04 GMT -5
On the note of quality though, a little tip concerning dialogue. Try to get your point across in one post, instead of having several exchanges of posts like what you and Fenrix have now. I'm sure you've noticed that when you have an exchange of dialogue, your posts tend to become short (almost all of them are under the 150 limit), and you post in rapid succession (half the posts on the page are either yours or Fen's). Both of which aren't very good for a roleplay. So instead of: "Hi, can I talk to you for a sec?"
"We're in a meeting, can this wait?"
"But this is urgent"
"You haven't given me your name. And this meeting is interesting anyway."
"Sure, we'll meet after this meeting in private then."
You can shorten it to: "Hi. I know we're not on familiar terms, but there is a matter of urgency which I need to talk to you about. Perhaps we could talk it over in private later after this meeting?"
Let your actions do most of the talking for you. So if you want to get Fen's attention, tap her shoulder and then talk. Include a slight bow if you want to be courteous. Or perhaps have his eyes keep flicking to the dagger to show what his real interest is. Or if Bacon feels uncomfortable or doesn't trust Fenrix, have him be apprehensive in his speech. This gives Fen a good idea of your intentions, and it also allows you to get a lot more done in one post. ^__^ ..just a pointer, and this goes for everyone else as well, since dialogue will invariably happen between characters. Ah, I see... I'm not used to that kind of post, ya see... it doesn't come naturally to me to write three different sentences at one time without knowing what the response to the first one is. Also, I'm not really sure why I haven't written something like "Sir Bacon's eyes uneasily went back to the dagger when she spoke", myself, or any other such action. *shrug* I guess I'll try harder to make future posts more detailed and action -packed filled. It's quite alright, most roleplayers fall into the trap of making small talk since it's more natural to do things that way. In an ideal situation where there are only two roleplayers, we'd make an allowance for that since one of the goals of a post is to be realistic. And well, that example was derived from your posts. You don't really need to know what the responses are to get your point across. Like, if I were to do that, I'd do something along the lines of: A glint of gold from Fenrix's belt caught Kit's eye. The dragon-hilted dagger hung lazily at an angle, as if inviting Kit's curiousity. Odd. I could swear I've seen that dagger before. Still, one couldn't just start having a private discussion in the middle of a meeting.
"That dagger.." Kit tapped Fenrix's shoulder, "..I need to talk to you after this meeting." Of course, this'd be part of a larger post, but yeah. You get the idea. You want to get straight to the point. ^^
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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2008 14:12:31 GMT -5
I'm back.
No need to applause, just whip out your Home-Run Bats and whack me a few times till you're happy about it. xD
I'm transferring the recent posts to my AlphaSmart, so I'll be back later today with a new RP post.
Edit :: Oh, and, Kit, great advice! I really hadn't even thought of that, either! ^_^ And as much as you think I understand the intricacies of roleplays, I still think I'm much of a newbie when it comes to cooperative stories such as this. :)
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Post by zarikrahia on Mar 17, 2008 22:28:18 GMT -5
*th'wacks Wolf with Eldest*
*th'wacks herself for procrastinating*
*goes off to not-procrastinate*
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Post by Deleted on Mar 19, 2008 11:39:15 GMT -5
But Eldest is the good book! Why couldn't you have grabbed Eragon instead?
Regardless, as I told Fen, getting here to post my post has been like the recent Sloth plot: not a lot to do, but it's taken forever to do it in. And if the sun has risen on the west coast already, then I've failed yet again in getting here on time. Unless you interpret that as the sun rising from the west, at which point, I might have a few more moments to spare....
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Post by Kat on Mar 19, 2008 23:06:13 GMT -5
[shadow=purple,left,300]...I think I should've joined the RP a little earlier. XD Anyway, where can I randomly insert myself?[/shadow]
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Post by Bacon on Mar 19, 2008 23:47:59 GMT -5
The roof! You're secretly Spiderman! Ahem. Many people are leaving the council chambers at this point, so you could probably pop up there. Maybe a short distance aways, where nobody noticed you.
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Post by Kat on Mar 20, 2008 8:18:32 GMT -5
The roof! You're secretly Spiderman! Ahem. Many people are leaving the council chambers at this point, so you could probably pop up there. Maybe a short distance aways, where nobody noticed you. [shadow=purple,left,300] Spiderman, Spiderman...Hmmm, good call. I'll just randomly run into you people while you're leaving. XD[/shadow]
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Post by Deleted on Mar 20, 2008 18:17:56 GMT -5
Anyway, where can I randomly insert myself? Depends on what you're inserting.... >.> Anyways, anywhere is a good bet. ^_^
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Post by Kat on Mar 21, 2008 4:00:38 GMT -5
Anyway, where can I randomly insert myself? Depends on what you're inserting.... >.> Anyways, anywhere is a good bet. ^_^ [shadow=purple,left,300]Myself! ... ...yeah. Anyhow, I'm just running into everyone who's coming out of the council chambers. *nods*[/shadow]
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Post by zarikrahia on Mar 21, 2008 23:27:53 GMT -5
Wolf: ...Fine. *grabs her cousins copy of Eragon-the-DVD and th'wacks Wolf with it* @bacon: Zari has a thing for roofs (grammar?) and lands on them when she can. Since, In Xenam, Roofs are a good Chase route (Likely to Contain Gargoyles, carvings, overlarge chimmneys, and other things large enough to hide a humanoid of slight build), and she was a member of the Xenami Cityguard for nearly a year. In other news- Zari flails alot. Both of them.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 23, 2008 0:38:19 GMT -5
Wolf: ...Fine. *grabs her cousins copy of Eragon-the-DVD and th'wacks Wolf with it* But the movie wasn't much better... -_- I'm easily pleased (impossible to awe), and even that movie couldn't please me.... -_- And your grammar was great. ^_^ Unless the proper plural is rooves...? Nah, I don't think that's it. >.>
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Post by Bacon on Mar 23, 2008 11:52:02 GMT -5
The plural of "roof" is "rooftops".
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