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Post by Deleted on Oct 15, 2005 18:23:56 GMT -5
Me: *is looking at all the apples fallen to the ground at the orchid* darn squirrels. Dad: Actually, I think it was the rain that did that. Me: darn rain.
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Post by insanepurpleone on Oct 16, 2005 1:01:11 GMT -5
Chris: *walks over, opens my backpack, takes out some gum and starts chewing it* Oh, hey, can I have some gum? Me: Er, I'm not going to make you spit it out. Chris: I could put it back... Me: Keep the gum!
Brother (looking at magazine cover): Hey, it's Ellen... what's her name? Me: Ellen Degeneres? Brother: Yeah! That's her! Me: Um, no.... that's Owen Wilson.
Mark's mom (to Josh): Tuba, have you seen Mark? (Mark has known Josh for about a year, and I'm still not sure if he actually knows his name. He always calls him 'Tuba'. Therefore, Mark's mom calls him Tuba....)
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Post by Elcie on Oct 26, 2005 13:02:56 GMT -5
*REVIVE HAHA!*
Okay, we had a test today in Geometry, and after we finished, David was telling this long and pointless story to Hannah... XDDD It was soooo funny. He had these little... plastic egg things with Disney characters (an alien from Toy Story, and the Genie) and was telling a story with them. What I heard went something like this.
David: So then this guy made out a lot with this guy. We're not really sure, but they actually might be straight because nobody knows if the little green guy is a girl or a boy. It's like a kind of fungus. Then they went to see Toy Story, only it was Toy Story 2. And it's called that cuz it came after the first one, sort of like in photosynthesis how there's photosystem I and photosystem II which was discovered after photosystem I, even though it comes first. And that's what I learned in biology. So they saw Toy Story 2, and then they went to buy a Mercedes-Benz, cuz they made out and then they were like "we should get a Mercedes-Benz" and they were like "Oh, okay" so they got a Mercedes-Benz. And then they went to see March of the Penguins, and this one penguin died and they thought it was really really sad. So they were crying, and then they were like "we should make out again so we'll be happy" and they made out, and it was really gross cuz we still don't know whether this guy is a boy or a girl. So the Genie has this friend named Aladdin, and he borrowed his magic carpet and then went for a ride and he took his girlfriend along. Or maybe his boyfriend. He took it along. Its name is Little Green Man. See? It says so: Little Green Man. Then they went to the palace and they were all like "Hey, who lives here?!" and they were yelling at everyone - (by this time everyone in the class is cracking up) *the bell rings* Hannah: THANK GOD!
David is such a perverted little freak. XDDD He'd do the Tabloids proud.
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Post by Cow-winkle on Oct 26, 2005 18:22:09 GMT -5
In P.E., we were playing football, and if you know anything about football, you know tha positions when they hut the ball...
Aaron: Why are you mooning him? Andrew: Because he likes it.
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Mom: The first thing a person should do when he wins the lottery is pay of their... Dad: ... Mistresses?
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Garret: You only got to page 3 of the book? Bravo, Ben *sarcastic clapping* Me: This is page 40. Garret: Oh.
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This was in Foods class, I was stirring gravy...
Me: "Good gravy"! C'mon, comeone had to say it eventually.
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Post by Patrick (Forumerly Known As) on Oct 26, 2005 19:11:15 GMT -5
*filling out a form in school*
Shane: Eye color... brown... hair color... brown...age... 13.... sex... yes...
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Post by Deleted on Oct 26, 2005 20:40:21 GMT -5
Mrs. Speciale: Alright class, because we're studing onomatopeoias, I want each person to think of a product and a slogan/jingle that contains at least one onomatopeoia. Steven: Ooh, I got one! I call it Crack! The mysterious white powder! *At Play Rehearsal* Ms. Scionti: Alright Fenwickians, I want you to act like you're act a Yankees game in this scene! Me: Let's do the wave! *does the hand motion* Everyone: XDDDD Makayla: So who you doing to dance with? Me: darn it! I'M NOT GOING WITH ANYONE! I'M GOING TO THE DANCE TO DANCE, NOT TO MAKE OUT WITH SOME FUGLY BOY!! Nicola: ...Fugly. XD John: *comes up to me during Gym today* Hey, Sammy, just giving you a head's up, but Tyler's been spreading rumor's that you and Adam kissed. Me: *freaking red in the face, 'cause I never kissed Adam* Oh, he is, is he? TYLER! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE! Tyler: *runs up to me* Hey Sam, what's up? Me: I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S UP! IF YOU EVER SPREAD ANYMORE RUMORS ABOUT ADAM AND I, YOU'LL WAKE UP THE NEXT DAY, VERY CONFUSED, IN CUBA! Tyler: ; Johanna: *quoting Family Guy* Hi Mom. Hi Chris. WRONG. IT'S WRONG. Me: And I thought quoting Danny Phantom was weird. Mrs. Speciale: Anyone know a resturaunt where they make steaks? Me: McDonalds!
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Post by Elcie on Oct 26, 2005 20:54:50 GMT -5
Mr. Barnaby (our bible teacher): And by the way, please spell "Pharaoh" right. Someone last period spelled it like this... *writes on the board* "Fair-O." Everyone: XDDDDD Me: Silly Momiji! Fair-O's are for kids - err, Israelites!
Garret: Actually, Keira's pretty good too. Bri: You're only saying that cuz you like her! Garret: Well, DUH!
Andrew: *reading his lines from To Kill a Mockingbird* So I said, all I have is this hoe..... ...heheh! Class: XDDDDD Mrs. Kurtz: No, not THAT kind of ho! Andrew: Hehehehe... er, you guys are all so immature!
Mrs. Cloud: How many carbon atoms are in glycose? *various answers from the class* Jake: 3! I just KNOW it's 3! Wait, what was the question? Mrs. Cloud: *stare* ((you do NOT want to get "The Look" from Mrs. Cloud)) Jake, tell me the chemical formula for glycose. Jake: Uhh, I know that... isn't that the thingy with the letters and the numbers? Class: XD Mrs. Cloud: *is deadly serious* Jake, this is beyond being just funny... this is pathetic. *everyone cracks up* (Keep in mind our test was the very next day. XD)
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Post by Cow-winkle on Oct 27, 2005 23:15:31 GMT -5
We have very weird conversationas at the dinner table here. Here are a few topics we spent half an hour discussing:
-Fred Flintstone -Glass cutting -People who won the lottery -What an evil nose would look like
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Keehan: Can Sims have sex? Me: Yes, but only in a certain type of bed. And they call it "Playing". Keehan: Why couldn't they do it on a cheap bed? Me: Because it doesn't vibrate. Keehan: Eww!
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Aaron: What would you do if Sephiroth walked up to you and said "I'm going to take the world back for my mother"! Me: I'd say *coughMommasboycough* Aaron: And he's holding a woman's head in his hand. Me: I'd say *coughHippocriticalmommasboycough* Aaron: And he takes out his sword and kills everyone. Me: *CoughMurderoushippocriticalmommasboycough*
It went on like that for a while.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 28, 2005 17:42:43 GMT -5
Name on paper: Bob the milkman (Alphonse)((...)) Name on paper: Mildred (or puppies)(or Edward(WHO IS NOT SHORT! 4'11=NOT SHORT.) Note: if you don't watch FullMetal Alchemist, or Inuyasha (and seen the 2 characters I'm referring to from the latter) then you probably won't get 2 of these. Erika: We should name the white rat Kanna and the black rat Kagura! Erika (some minutes later): How about naming the black rat Alphonse and the white rat Edward? Names someone suggested for our rats: Eminem, Snoop dog Names responding to the two above names: Not Eminem, Not Snoop dog Mildred: So we were all like "F*** off"... Random girl: HEY! WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU!?! Erika:...I GOTTA GO BOOM BOOM!!! (I say this in my halloween costume.) Forest (talking about our teacher's house being on stilts and being positive): So, if your house is on stilts, and we get a bad storm, won't all the sand underneath wash away and your house will fall over? Mildred: THAT'S NOT VERY POSITIVE, MISTER!!! >
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Post by Cow-winkle on Oct 28, 2005 18:07:45 GMT -5
Dad: Are those young people ever gonna get any rest?
He was talking about a soap opera, guess which one.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 28, 2005 19:57:26 GMT -5
Dad: Are those young people ever gonna get any rest? He was talking about a soap opera, guess which one. ...All my Children? What, they'd need rest after that!!! *BRICK'D MAJORLY 2.*
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Post by Cow-winkle on Oct 28, 2005 22:24:20 GMT -5
Dad: Are those young people ever gonna get any rest? He was talking about a soap opera, guess which one. ...All my Children? What, they'd need rest after that!!! *BRICK'D MAJORLY 2.* I'm not sure you meant what I got from that last sentence, but I'm too busy laughing to brick you. "Brick'd Majorly 2"... sounds like a good movie title... PATENT PENDING!
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Post by ncwidt5895 on Oct 28, 2005 22:29:19 GMT -5
During orchestra, Michelle was taking her bow and hitting me knee so I got in a heated duel with my own bow, to which our teacher shouted, "What are you doing, Carrie!?"
Me: "She was hitting me and -" Teacher: "That was rhetorical question, so you shouldn't have answered and instead stopped doing what you were doing." Me: "o-0"
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Post by Cow-winkle on Oct 29, 2005 1:19:54 GMT -5
Adam: I think tonight's episode of Gundam Seed is Phase Nine... Me: Phase German "No"? Adam: Nein.
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Post by ncwidt5895 on Oct 29, 2005 12:08:09 GMT -5
I had dental work done yesterday and was given inane amounts of novacaine (nitrate) and went completely numb in the left side of my mouth for most of the day. When the medicine wore off, my lip ballooned to three times it's size. Mom: It's like you had Botox, but you didn't! Me: ... um... *pain* Mom: You look SEXY. *maniacal laughter*
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