Awkward Bruce - comic

[The Scrac that Smiles Back]

SPOILER: Click to show

Trying to get into the NT Grey Day issue as part of a guild event.

_{This is a true story.}

[Twillie]

Up front, I'd suggest adding speech bubbles, or at least tails, to each line of dialogue. The text size is rather large, and with three characters (one being off panel) in such a short amount of time, a better indication of who's speaking will make reading it easier.

Also, in my first read of this, I had trouble understanding the joke because I thought that the flashback was still the first little Bruce talking. For this comic, I don't think dividers are necessary for every panel, but there should definitely be some indication of a scene change. Perhaps a horizontal line could go between the second and third panel, panels three and four might be surrounded by one large thought bubble, or perhaps have textual indication like "long ago" or "flashback" that announces the scene change. Backgrounds may also help; they don't have to be too intricate, but just enough detail for us to see that the comic is showing two different locations.

Might I suggest that Jessi actually be shown rather than be off panel the whole time? I'm still a little unsure of the punch line as is; is it that Jessi was being legitimately friendly and was off put by the Bruce's shyness, or is there something strange about her that he didn't like? I feel like the joke is that the Bruce is terrified of perfectly normal people, but it's hard to get the full picture when we only see one side of the reactions. It's very hard to gauge both Jessi's perspective on the situation on just why the Bruce might be frightened of her when she's not visible. If we can see her reactions as well, it'll be much easier to tell who is the odd one of the pair and who the joke lies upon.