[glow=red,2,300]Of course I'm not late. Who said I was late?
[/glow]
Veritas Vitae
Part Fourteen
“How could he do this to us?”
The sound of shattering glass rebounded off the walls of the hall outside Bill’s office. Eri grit her teeth for the eighth time in as many minutes. “Rider…”
“No, Rider’s right. I mean, what are we supposed to do?” Kat paced around in circles, coming dangerously close to the shards of the vase that I had broken.
“We could take a vote,” Wanderer suggested reasonably. “Who says we should surrender the NT?”
Not a single hand went up.
“And who says that we should let him drive us out of business?”
You could have heard a pin drop.
“Who’s not voting?”
Every hand went up.
Wanderer made a noise of disgust. “Well, this is very democratic.”
Kiddo smiled. “Isn’t it?”
“You know what’d be more democratic? Kicking his-”
Ken kicked me in the shins. Hard.
I stuck my tongue out at him. “I don’t see you coming up with a better suggestion.”
“Look, there are robo-maids and Vitae employees out there! Hundreds of them! And if we harm Mr. Cheesy Nacho, they’re going to bring out their big guns. I won’t want to see any NTWFer get hurt!”
That shut me up pretty quickly.
“Okay, guys!” HTML said with a big, happy look on her face. “Time for Plan C!”
I was almost afraid to ask. “What’s Plan C?”
* * *
“Pleeeeeease?”
“I won’t retract my ultimatum, now let go of my leg, you badger.”
“Can we bribe you with cookies?”
“No.”
“With potions?”
“No.”
“With my 1337 womanizing skills?” Nick’s head popped up beside HTML’s elbow. Quite conveniently, in fact. She barely had to move to hit him directly in the nose.
“Erm… definitely not.”
“You’re one tough cookie. How ‘bout I throw in a free performance. Me in a monkey suit, singing Hakuna Matata?”
“You’re shedding on the suede again.”
“I’m well aware.”
I paused. “But Nick,” Crystal said deviously, “You haven’t done your business since we defeated the killer robot!”
“Erm, no.” Nick looked at her as though she were crazy. Which she probably was.
“And you had a lot of water while we were making our decision?”
“Erm, no.” Fj0rd kicked him in the shin. “I mean yes!” he blurted out.
“So…”
I knew where she was going. “Surrender your evil schemes, Mr. Bill, or the suede couch gets it!”
I saw a little color drain from the businessman’s face. But the rest of him stood as a stone. “I’d like to see you try.”
He was getting nervous. Pirates smell fear.
Crystal gave Nick the cue. “Nick, do your worst.”
I saw the dog anthro’s eyes squint up. He panted loudly, his face flushed.
Nothing happened.
“I can’t help it!” Nick whined. “I can’t perform under pressure!”
Crystal’s kunai was out in a swish. “Perform or I’ll castrate you.”
He shook his head meekly. “I can’t. Besides, you know I’ll just regrow it anyway.”
Mr. Bill shook his head and clucked in distaste. “You are a sorry lot. So, I still need an answer.”
“How about I kick you in…” Ken elbowed me in the ribs.
Bill’s face flushed to a berry-red. Subconsciously, his feet led him away from the other NTWFers and me. “I think that’s quite enough threats out of you, Little Miss.” I winced. Bill had called me “Little Miss.” “Guards! Guards!”
Guards rushed in, armed, but not quite dangerous. Obviously, they had had little training.
But there were a heck of a lot of them.
“Look at what you’ve done now, dumb pirate!” Stal and Ken said at once. I was too happy to notice. “Yeah! Fight scene, baby!”
“It’s hopeless.” Stal rolled his eyes. “She set up a plot hole just so she could skip straight to the fight scene.”
“Love it. Fear it.” I grinned dangerously and drew my cutlass. “Last one out the office is an Anubis’s momma-in-law!”
Swords clashed all around me and I danced and turned with the onslaught of bodies in the hall, some struggling to reach the front of the hoard and claim the glory of the kill, and others rushing to the back to get out in one piece. The trick to being in an army, I realized as I hurtled through the masses, is to fight courageously from the back. Grab the eye of an officer and not an enemy.
“AZARATH METRION ZINTHOS!” Sammy let wave after wave of black magic loose upon our foes. Fireballs shot from the end of Ery’s Keyblade. Huggsy was a raging great ball of fur, mowing a path through the cowardly soldiers. Kat was a flourish of purple and glitter, Eri a whispering black shadow, Kiddo a blazing winged harbinger of doom, Nick a panting brown lump of mutt…
Okay, so it wasn’t as glorious as I remember it.
HTML remained in the office and faced Bill, with Crusher looming in her hands menacingly. “Got any last words?”
“You’re an Anubis’s momma-in-law?”
“Wrong!” HTML brought Crusher above her head. Her pupils shifted to red, the color of the Bloodwrath.
Bill got the heck out of there.
The battle still raged outdoors. Meanwhile, Rachel rushed to Elycien’s side. “What happened to you?”
“Some twit with a knife.” Elycien winced, clutching her forearm. “I’ll be okay.”
“Let’s at least get you bandaged up and out of the way. Where’s Bill?”
“I saw him run from his office. Retreating, I think. HTML was chasing after him, screaming that she’d have his guts for garters.”
“What’s a garter?”
“I think it’s a sort of snake.”
“Oh.”
The battle was almost won, and the enemy soldiers had either died or fled. Mostly the latter. The sight of Kiddo and her spear could scare anyone senseless. But there were always morons who would try for a ‘heroic last stand.’
In fact, there were a lot of ‘heroes’ who thought they’d go up against Kiddo.
Too many ‘heroes’ who thought they’d go up against Kiddo.
An amateur mage hit the back wall with a spell of force, causing it to crumble down. I, unfortunately, happened to be right in front of that wall. Panicked, I slid like a baseball star sliding into home, but it didn’t quite work. My legs were trapped.
And so I watched helplessly as Kiddo the fox-fae met the pointy end of an idiot’s sword, burst into flame, and died.
(Hey, you knew it was going to happen. At least I didn’t make Ish drunk in this one.)