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Post by Lizica on Feb 11, 2019 23:17:40 GMT -5
Was having a small snowball fight with my sister on the local bike trail, and we took a break to stand back-to-back and walk ten paces apart from each other.
Me: ...Eight, nine, ten. *turns around with snowball* Random jogger on trail: *cutting in between my sister and me* TAKE ME INSTEAD!!
(He kept jogging as we both cracked up. XD Bless you, sir.
Also it turns out neither of us could throw snowballs that far after pacing.)
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Post by Deleted on Feb 19, 2019 7:50:19 GMT -5
Both at the same time approach my sister: My roommate: Look what I got from a boy! *shows a lanyard* Me: Look what I stole from the boys! *shows multiple juice mixes*
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Post by Twillie on Feb 24, 2019 0:23:48 GMT -5
I hope I don’t cause any concern with my friends when I say things unprompted like, “It’s interesting how many flags have pentagrams on them.”
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Post by Reiqua on Apr 18, 2019 0:39:13 GMT -5
“Sometimes I get sick of being cynical, but then I get even more sick of being naive and constantly disappointed, so then I go back to being cynical again.”
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Post by ariodante on Apr 27, 2019 17:56:17 GMT -5
Overheard at school. "Pope Innocent was like 100% a Chad"
Don't know enough medieval history to dispute
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Post by Gelquie on May 31, 2019 21:59:39 GMT -5
"What's your name, [Name]?"
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Post by Moni on Jun 9, 2019 21:41:37 GMT -5
"leprechauns are all gay. i don't think i need to elaborate on this." -- a relative, crap-posting on twitter.
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Post by Gelquie on Jul 31, 2019 0:18:25 GMT -5
My mom is over at my place, and I'm going around the house. I go to the kitchen area.
Mom: "Do you need any help?" Me: "...With eating food...?"
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Post by ariodante on Aug 26, 2019 14:58:53 GMT -5
Friend: "Having the madness and seeing God in the form of a moose can be mutually exclusive"
My squad and I were lost in the wilderness on a camping trip and may have lost it a little bit. That moose may or may not have been God, the jury's still out
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Post by June Scarlet on Dec 2, 2019 17:38:57 GMT -5
A dad was having trouble with his kids keeping out of stuff at the grocery store I work at. At one point he said, "Let it go," to which his son replied, "You're Elsa, Dad!"
***
I was helping my Grandma made pumpkin pies the day before Thanksgiving, and before we poured the batter in the premade pie shells, she crimped the edges with a fork, and had me do the same to the other pie. Expecting some great baking secret, I asked why we were doing that, "Is it to make it stick to the pan better?" to which she replied, "No, it's to make it look homemade."
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Post by Twillie on Dec 22, 2019 23:35:58 GMT -5
While I was at the movies earlier...
*Sonic the Hedgehog movie trailer plays*
Me: =D
Guy right behind me: That's a hard no for me.
Me: *turning to my sister, slightly hoping he hears* That's a hell yeah for me.
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Post by Twillie on Dec 23, 2019 18:52:27 GMT -5
Double post, but I heard the best thing today while out at the store earlier...
Kid: I want a typewriter for Christmas. That way, I can bring it to school, and I don't have to write anything. I can just type it all.
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Post by Gelquie on Jan 1, 2020 16:23:19 GMT -5
Mom: *From the other room.* [Myname], do you want-? *Commotion of something sliding against something, then falling to the ground and shattering.* Mom: Nevermind.
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Post by Lizica on Jan 8, 2020 0:05:35 GMT -5
"I have an appointment with darkness."
...She was only saying that the reason she wanted to get home early was so we wouldn't have to drive in the dark. But dang, is that a terrifying way to phrase it. XD
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Post by Breakingchains on Jan 20, 2020 0:49:26 GMT -5
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