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Post by neonick on Sept 16, 2004 12:52:26 GMT -5
It's great, but you might want to explain that Meep is a Meerca. I forgot to put that in? Crap. Anyway, other than that it's OK, right? So you gonna write the next bit, or what?
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Post by Sock on Sept 16, 2004 14:53:31 GMT -5
I forgot to put that in? Crap. Anyway, other than that it's OK, right? So you gonna write the next bit, or what? Yep, it's perfect other then that ^^ I'll start writing it. *Opens up a word processing program*
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Post by neonick on Sept 16, 2004 15:02:34 GMT -5
Yep, it's perfect other then that ^^ I'll start writing it. *Opens up a word processing program* Oooh, spiffy!
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Post by Sock on Sept 16, 2004 15:05:53 GMT -5
Okay, I finished my part of the story. It's 352 words long. Here it is:
The two Meercas looked at each other for quite awhile, until Meep said, "Well, I better get unpacking."
"Yes, yes, you better." Uncle Benny said.
Meep hurried to the small house which his uncle lived at. Meep went in. It was dusty and everything in it seemed to be made out of wood or bamboo. There were no couches or chairs. This was going to be a long week.
Meep walked into the small room which was his. There was a Bamboo Bed, which he would be sleeping on. There was also a wooden shelf for him to put things on. He unpacked his clothing and other things.
"Meepy, Meepy! Want to come help me with the fruits? Meepy? Where are you?" Uncle Benny called out.
"In my room!" Meep yelled out.
Meep hurried out of his room as soon as all of his things were put in the right place.
"Ah, there you are." Uncle Benny said, smiling.
"So, you need help with the fruits?" Meep asked.
"Yes, and I think you're the one to help me." Uncle Benny replied.
Meep had heard that he would be staying on a fruit farm, but he wasn't told he'd be helping. Meep didn't like to do chores, just like any other kid. Uncle Benny moved his hand around, which obviously meant he wanted Meep to follow. Uncle Benny opened the door and hopped out, Meep following him.
"Why don't you work with the Tigersquash? I'll tend to the Juppies." Uncle Benny said.
"Alright." Meep mumbled, walking over to the left.
Uncle Benny went right. Meep looked at the Tigersquash bushes. Tigersquash were sprouting from it. He looked around, and then saw a small watering can by the strange bushes. He watered each one, and then something strange happened. The Tigersquash were growing more and more! He didn't know what was going on.
"Uncle Benny! Uncle Benny!" He screamed.
Uncle Benny came running, sweat dropping down his face.
"What is it?" He asked.
"The Tigersquash are growing like mad!" Meep replied.
Uncle Benny laughed.
"That's what Tigersquash do when you water them!" He said.
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Post by neonick on Sept 16, 2004 15:16:29 GMT -5
It's good! But how about there be a big description of the fields, to give a sense of how big this place is, and the unlce give a little talk or something about them?
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Post by Sock on Sept 16, 2004 15:17:21 GMT -5
It's good! But how about there be a big description of the fields, to give a sense of how big this place is, and the unlce give a little talk or something about them? Sure, but maybe you could add that because my hands are kinda getting sore from typing and in about 10 minutes I have to leave.
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Post by neonick on Sept 16, 2004 15:18:48 GMT -5
OK. I'll write the next part, and then stick them all together to see what we've got.
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Post by Sock on Sept 16, 2004 15:21:26 GMT -5
OK. I'll write the next part, and then stick them all together to see what we've got. Alright, great. Can't wait to see what it's like when it's finished ^^
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Post by neonick on Sept 17, 2004 14:24:14 GMT -5
The ship swayed slightly, and Meep came to a halt straight away. “What’s the hold up?” an angry Lupe asked, coming back his dark-red fur. Meep gulped, took a few deep breaths, and then slowly wobbled over the plank and onto Mystery Island. “Sorry,” he explained, turning on his huge, shadowy-black tail. “I get sea sick, but this was the only way over here.” The Lupe just ignored him and walked past, eyes set fiercely. Meep shrugged and, with a squeaky Meecra sigh, looked around him. He was finally here. After months of saving up, doing any odd-jobs in the neighbourhood, delivering the Neopian Times, he had made enough money to visit the lush paradise of Mystery Island. A warm breeze drifted over him, carrying the salty smell of the sea towards him, he smiled and knew this was worth all the money. “Meepy!” Or maybe not. “Uncle,” he sighed, looking down. A short Meecra stood before him, glasses perched on the end of his nose and a wide grin covering his face. His purple fur had a few strands of grey amongst them, but the most obvious thing was the huge blue stain on his arm. “Sorry, Fish Doughnutfruit,” his uncle said with a laugh. “My, what a big Meecra you’ve become! Come on, I’ve got that Coconut Jubjub waiting to take us back to the fields.”
The journey took quite a while, seeing as the Tour Guide stopped every few seconds to chat to a passing Techo or Moehog. It gave Uncle Benny time to tell Meep everything that had happened recently on the island, and Meep time to ignore everything. He was gazing at the beach, wondering when he would get a chance to take a dip in the glistening, sapphire-blue sea. Something caught his eye, and he turned to look away from the ocean, towards the centre of the island. It was an amazing sight- rows upon rows of gigantic trees, each with a different fruit growing on the thick branches. Juppies of every colour and shape, vast fields of Doughnutfruits, Chokatos filling the entire eastern orchids; it made Meep’s eyes light up. “Food!” he exclaimed. “I’m starving!” Uncle Benny nodded as the cart came to a stop, next to the small building he called home. He clambered down, Meep close behind. The Tour Guide turned around and started the long trek back. The two Meercas looked at each other for quite awhile, until Meep said, "Well, I better get unpacking." "Yes, yes, you better." Uncle Benny said. Meep hurried to the small house which his uncle lived in, and slid through the open doorway. It was dusty and everything in it seemed to be made out of wood or bamboo. There were no couches or chairs. This was going to be a long week. Meep walked into the small room which was his. There was a Bamboo Bed, which he would be sleeping on. There was also a wooden shelf for him to put things on. He unpacked his clothing and other things. "Meepy, Meepy! Want to come help me with the fruits? Meepy? Where are you?" Uncle Benny called out. "In my room!" Meep yelled out. Meep hurried out of his room as soon as all of his things were put in the right place. "Ah, there you are." Uncle Benny said, smiling. "So, you need help with the fruits?" Meep asked. "Yes, and I think you're the one to help me." Uncle Benny replied. Meep had heard that he would be staying on a fruit farm, but he wasn't told he'd be helping. Meep didn't like to do chores, just like any other kid. The smell of the sea was still around, and he couldn’t help but think that it would have been worth spending his last few Neopoints on a hotel. Uncle Benny moved his hand around, which obviously meant he wanted Meep to follow. The old Meecra opened the door and hopped out, Meep following him into the hallway, and then outside. "Why don't you work with the Tigersquash? I'll tend to the Sardplants." Uncle Benny said. "Alright." Meep mumbled, walking over to the left. Uncle Benny went right. Meep looked at the Tigersquash bushes. All the different varieties of the fruit were sprouting from it; from the basic Tigersquash and Tigermelons to the strange Tigerbuggles and even a few Tigerfruit. He looked around, and then saw a small watering can by the strange bushes. He watered each one, and then something strange happened. The Tigersquash were growing more and more! He didn't know what was going on. "Uncle Benny! Uncle Benny!" he yelled. Uncle Benny came running, sweat dropping down his face. ”What is it?" He asked. "The Tigersquash are growing like mad!" Meep replied. “That’s not natural!” Uncle Benny laughed. ”That's what Tigersquash do when you water them!" He said.
Meep fell back into his bed with a groan, the soft pillows a welcome relief. He’d never worked that hard before; his back ached, his tail was coated in dirt, and he knew that he wasn’t going to survive the week. This was meant to be his holiday, but he’d done nothing but slave away at the fields. Today he’d seen enough fruit to last him a lifetime- he’d almost cried when Uncle Benny produced the Thistleberry Fruit Salad for tea. Tomorrow, he decided, he would get away early and spend the day relaxing on those golden dunes, soaking up some sun… with a smile, he started to drift away, when there was pounding on the door that shocked him wide awake. “Come out!” Uncle Benny called. “You’ve gotta see this!” With a angry mutter Meep climbed from the bed and walked over to the door. He swung it open, letting it slam into the wall, and glared at his uncle, who didn’t notice. “What?” “Follow me!” Benny exclaimed, before grabbing his nephew’s arm and dragging him towards the front doorway. Meep started to protest, but his mouth slid shut as he saw a strange sight. All of the fields and orchids well lit up with an eerie green glow. It cast strange shadows amongst the trees, and made the entire sight very creepy; and, at the same time, amazing. “Ergyfruit,” his uncle explained with glee. “Beautiful, ain’t it?”
OK, I added a few parts to your bit, did a little editing, but I don’t think I changed too much. If you do, feel free to whack me violently in the foot. It’s now at just over 1000 words (Woo!)
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Post by Sock on Sept 17, 2004 15:40:45 GMT -5
Wow, I just looked over it but it looks really nice. I don't have enough time to read it right now, but I will later. Good job
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Post by neonick on Sept 17, 2004 15:43:09 GMT -5
Wow, I just looked over it but it looks really nice. I don't have enough time to read it right now, but I will later. Good job *Feels all warm and fuzzy* Thanks! But again, feel free to poke me in the head if you think I took too much control of it.
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Post by Sock on Sept 17, 2004 15:44:32 GMT -5
*Feels all warm and fuzzy* Thanks! But again, feel free to poke me in the head if you think I took too much control of it. *Pokes you in the head* Kidding. Actually, when you get poked by me, that's a good thing.
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Post by neonick on Sept 17, 2004 15:48:40 GMT -5
Ooh, spiffy. Actually, I am now the official Dispencer of Pokes in another online game... but that's a totally different matter.
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Post by Sock on Sept 17, 2004 15:49:30 GMT -5
Ooh, spiffy. Actually, I am now the official Dispencer of Pokes in another online game... but that's a totally different matter. ; Poke, poke, poke...*Pokes you 1,000,000 times* Poking ish fun.
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Post by neonick on Sept 17, 2004 15:50:53 GMT -5
*Grabs AutoPoke200 and sets it too 'Poke Till They Pop'* Hehehe...
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