Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2010 16:49:00 GMT -5
(Mods, if this is in the wrong place, please move it. I'm not sure where to put non-neopets stories.)
I've been thinking about this story for about a year, and finally got chapter one done in the last three hours. I haven't really gotten much editing done yet, so... yeah.
The story is called National Monster, and after I finish the first 18 chapters (Book One), I'll update it bi-weekly on a blog. Well, uh, here's Chapter 1.
Grammar mistakes, factual mistakes, strange story-telling, anything I should fix? This probably turned out worse than any other chapters would, because of all the exposition and such. But then again, a writer is their own worst critic, so... XD
I've been thinking about this story for about a year, and finally got chapter one done in the last three hours. I haven't really gotten much editing done yet, so... yeah.
The story is called National Monster, and after I finish the first 18 chapters (Book One), I'll update it bi-weekly on a blog. Well, uh, here's Chapter 1.
“Miles, why are we going to Paimpont?”
“While I’m here in France, I want to see where Merlin was supposedly imprisoned.”
“A tourist trap? I’d think you’d be going to more interesting places than that.”
“Let’s just go in.”
Claude followed his friend reluctantly. There were many things he did not understand about the American, but he was interesting to talk with. Claude found the forest fairly boring, even with Miles babbling like a tour guide on acid. Eventually, they reached a spot with a large crowd around it.
“So what’s here, Miles?”
“I don’t know. There must be something. Let’s take a look!”
Miles pushed his way through the crowd, trying to get to the front. When he got there, he saw a sword embedded in what appeared to be a petrified tree.
“The sword in the stone, no?” He heard a man say in French.
“Nobody can pull it out, either.”
“They probably made it impossible. How gullible do they think we are?”
Miles walked up to it and examined it. It was in so deep, only the hilt was visible. The guard of it resembled wings, with a dragon’s head in the center, facing into the tree toward the blade. The grip was the dragon’s tail. Despite what everyone else had already said, he tried pulling it from the tree. He got a firm grip, pulled gently...
And the blade began to come out. From the cut in the tree, a brilliant light also shown. When Miles got the sword out completely, the light was blinding, and he had to turn his head from it. When the light faded, Miles slowly turned his head back to the tree. The tree had vanished, but in its place was an extremely old man.
The man started babbling quickly in a language Miles couldn’t understand. He kept glancing around nervously, and his eyes fell upon the sword. He ran over to Miles and started pointing to it, speaking faster still. Miles, still could not understand a word he was saying.
“Parlez-vous français? No? Do you speak English?”
The man realized that Miles could not understand a single word he just said. He raised his hand and focused, and another flash of bright light appeared. Miles started to piece things together. His clothing, that spell, that strange language...
“Can you understand me now?” The man now spoke perfect English.
“Yes. Are you who I think you are?”
“I am Merlin Ambrosius, advisor to King Arthur Pendragon. A better question is, who are you?”
“I am Miles Griffin. What’s going on here?”
Merlin glanced at the crowd. “Perhaps we’d best talk somewhere less crowded.”
~~~
A short drive later, Miles, Claude, and Merlin were sitting at a cafe. Miles was the first one to speak.
“Merlin, what is this sword?”
“Your most important possession now. If anything happens to that, or to you, the world is doomed.”
“How?”
“When you pulled that sword from the tree, you freed me. But you also freed monsters all over the world. One at a time, monsters from every country on the planet will appear and wreak havoc, until you can defeat them with that sword. No other weapon can kill it, only harm it.”
“Every country in the world...” Miles felt numb. “There would be 294 monsters we’d have to fight.”
“Miles, you don’t honestly believe that madman, do you?” Claude stood up. Merlin rose as well.
“The fate of the world is in his hands, you don’t believe that!?”
“I don’t believe in fairy tales! Miles, drive me home and you can do what you want with that loon. I, on the other hand, am going to be living in the real world!” With that, Claude stormed out of the building.
~~~
“How will we know what country the monster will attack?”
“Will you two give it a rest with that nonsense already? We’re almost to my house; you can talk after you drop me off.”
“That’s easy. The motto of the next target will appear on the blade.” Merlin took it out. “’Dieu et mon droit.’”
Claude translated. “God and my right. The motto of England.”
“I guess if a country has no motto, it uses the part the monster will be in, right? What if that doesn’t have a motto?”
“The hilt also is tinted the country’s colors and the flag is somewhat visible at the bottom of the blade.”
The car pulled up to Claude’s house.
“Well, it’s been nice meeting you, Mr. Ambrosius, and I hope we never meet again!” He walked into his house and slammed the door.
“Your friend seems like a charming fellow.” Merlin said, after he left.
“Let’s get back to what we need to do.”
“Right. Tell me Miles... How skilled are you with a sword?”
“Well... I was on the fencing team at the university...”
“Fencing?”
“A sport based on sword-fighting. We use fake swords and...”
“Fake swords?”
“Nobody uses real swords for anything other than decoration anymore, Merlin. Weapons have become far more advanced since your time.”
“Well... Let’s hope your skills can carry over to a real sword. Now, let’s get to England, quickly!”
~~~
A few hours later, the two reached the Channel Tunnel, otherwise known as the Chunnel. Merlin transformed himself into a bird, seeing as he had no passport and, as far as records were concerned, he did not exist. Miles bought his train ticket, and explained that his sword was a gift for a friend who collected them. With that, Miles got on to the train, with Merlin flying in right before the doors closed.
Miles had decided to take the train going to London. The trip only took about an hour. When they stepped off the train, and Miles had retrieved his sword, he knew his adventure would soon begin. After he walked a bit, Merlin transformed back to normal and talked to him.
“Have you seen anything yet?”
“No. Can’t you fly up a little bit and see what’s going on from the air?”
“I’ve just been a bird for an hour! Fine.” Merlin jumped, became a bird, and shot up into the air.
He landed quickly. “There’s something near a palace, next to a river.”
“A palace... With a big clock tower?”
“Yes!”
“The Palace of Westminster. But that’s quite a walk from here. We’ll need to take a bus.”
~~~
About fifteen minutes later, they were at the palace. Merlin had flown up to see where the monster had gone.
“It’s heading this way.” Was all he said upon landing.
Miles heard it before he saw it. A horrible noise, and a horrible looking beast. He did not have much time to think about it, however, before he completely blacked out.
~~~
When he woke up, he checked his watch and noticed he had been out for over an hour. Others were unconscious around him. Merlin was the only other person up, and he was pacing back and forth quickly. Miles stood up.
“Merlin! What the heck was that thing!?”
“Glatisant. The Questing Beast. From its stomach comes a sound like dozens of dogs hunting, and it makes people fall unconscious at best and... die at worst.”
Miles looked around at the people around him. He realized that some of them may not wake up. He looked at the road and saw the crashes that happened when the drivers passed out. He sat back down, and held his head.
“Miles... We need to stop this before this thing does any more damage.”
“We need a plan.”
~~~
The two were equipped with earplugs designed to block out noise from a gunshot. Miles figured that it would at least weaken the effect of the monster’s sound, if not block it out completely. Merlin’s magic protected him once, but he wasn’t sure if it would work again. Merlin had found that the beast had reached Kensington Gardens, and they were taking a bus just close enough that they would be able to stop and fight without endangering the other passengers.
The two ran into the park, earplugs on. The park was strangely, but thankfully, empty. Empty, except for Glatisant. The earplugs worked, the beast was silenced. But it was by no means defeated. The beast’s head was like that of a huge snake, the body looked like that of a leopard, and its legs were those of a deer. The beast started charging at them, Miles held his sword in front of him... and the beast grabbed the sword in its massive maw and tossed it a good twenty feet.
Miles scrambled to retrieve his sword, while Merlin shot spells at the beast, trying to weaken it or slow it down. Miles dashed back while it was distracted for another attempt at attack. His attack landed, but it was not a killing blow, as the beast jerked away too quickly. Far from weakening it, it only made the beast angrier, and more violent. It charged at Merlin, who had to shift into a bird and fly to avoid being attacked. The beast jumped at him, and crashed to the ground after missing.
Merlin knew it was distracted, and started flying away, luring it toward Serpentine lake. Miles followed close behind, unsure of Merlin’s plan. When the beast got close to the water, it stopped, and wandered over to the water for a drink. Merlin dropped down to the ground in his normal form.
“Get him now, while he’s distracted!”
Miles ran up and landed a perfect blow, right through the heart of the beast. The snakelike head shot up quickly in surprise, and the beast began to fade away, leaving no trace of it behind. Miles was shocked, Merlin looked relieved.
“What just happened!?”
“The monster faded when you killed it. Be glad the blood of it faded too, so you don’t need to clean your sword.”
“But-“
“We need a safe place to stay. Can you get us lodgings somewhere?”
~~~
Later, at a hotel, Merlin was watching the news, and Miles was working on his laptop.
“It seems like when we defeated the monster, all of the people who were knocked unconscious woke up, and even those involved in car crashes are going to recover.”
“That's great news! But how are they explaining the monster?”
“They aren't, for some reason.”
“They must be keeping it quiet. But at least everybody is going to be okay.”
“Miles, have you heard of something called the Loch Ness Monster? They’re saying that sightings of it have increased.”
“Nessie? She’s in Scotland, which is part of the UK. Only one monster per country, right?”
“Right, but there may be other creatures who could assist us. Is Nessie an evil creature?”
“She doesn’t seem to be.” He looked up something on his computer. “It’s a ten hour drive according to this, but we can check it out tomorrow if we leave early enough.”
~~~
It was six in the afternoon before they got to Loch Ness, and they were joining a crowd of people on the shore. All of a sudden, a huge green shape burst out of the water and flipped into the air, with everyone around taking pictures or recording a video. Miles and Merlin got closer. Nessie swam right up to them, and flipped Miles on to her back.
“Well Merlin, I think you were right. She does want to help.”
“Nessie, can you understand me?”
Nessie nodded.
“Do you want to help us?”
She nodded again.
“Do you think you can carry us to different countries?”
She nodded a third time.
“Good. We’ll be back later, we need to gather supplies.”
~~~
They returned at eleven, when Miles figured that the crowds would have left. They had plenty of food, along with fishing poles if needed, bottles of water, a GPS, a flashlight, and some blankets if they needed to sleep while on the water. They had this all packed in bags. When they got to the shore, Merlin whistled for Nessie, and she rose out of the water and let them hop on. Nessie then started swimming out through rivers, heading toward the ocean.
“Miles, check your sword. Where are we headed next?”
Miles took out his sword. He looked at the hilt, the flag at the base of the blade. There was no motto, but the flag and colors were enough.
“We’re going to Ireland.”
“While I’m here in France, I want to see where Merlin was supposedly imprisoned.”
“A tourist trap? I’d think you’d be going to more interesting places than that.”
“Let’s just go in.”
Claude followed his friend reluctantly. There were many things he did not understand about the American, but he was interesting to talk with. Claude found the forest fairly boring, even with Miles babbling like a tour guide on acid. Eventually, they reached a spot with a large crowd around it.
“So what’s here, Miles?”
“I don’t know. There must be something. Let’s take a look!”
Miles pushed his way through the crowd, trying to get to the front. When he got there, he saw a sword embedded in what appeared to be a petrified tree.
“The sword in the stone, no?” He heard a man say in French.
“Nobody can pull it out, either.”
“They probably made it impossible. How gullible do they think we are?”
Miles walked up to it and examined it. It was in so deep, only the hilt was visible. The guard of it resembled wings, with a dragon’s head in the center, facing into the tree toward the blade. The grip was the dragon’s tail. Despite what everyone else had already said, he tried pulling it from the tree. He got a firm grip, pulled gently...
And the blade began to come out. From the cut in the tree, a brilliant light also shown. When Miles got the sword out completely, the light was blinding, and he had to turn his head from it. When the light faded, Miles slowly turned his head back to the tree. The tree had vanished, but in its place was an extremely old man.
The man started babbling quickly in a language Miles couldn’t understand. He kept glancing around nervously, and his eyes fell upon the sword. He ran over to Miles and started pointing to it, speaking faster still. Miles, still could not understand a word he was saying.
“Parlez-vous français? No? Do you speak English?”
The man realized that Miles could not understand a single word he just said. He raised his hand and focused, and another flash of bright light appeared. Miles started to piece things together. His clothing, that spell, that strange language...
“Can you understand me now?” The man now spoke perfect English.
“Yes. Are you who I think you are?”
“I am Merlin Ambrosius, advisor to King Arthur Pendragon. A better question is, who are you?”
“I am Miles Griffin. What’s going on here?”
Merlin glanced at the crowd. “Perhaps we’d best talk somewhere less crowded.”
~~~
A short drive later, Miles, Claude, and Merlin were sitting at a cafe. Miles was the first one to speak.
“Merlin, what is this sword?”
“Your most important possession now. If anything happens to that, or to you, the world is doomed.”
“How?”
“When you pulled that sword from the tree, you freed me. But you also freed monsters all over the world. One at a time, monsters from every country on the planet will appear and wreak havoc, until you can defeat them with that sword. No other weapon can kill it, only harm it.”
“Every country in the world...” Miles felt numb. “There would be 294 monsters we’d have to fight.”
“Miles, you don’t honestly believe that madman, do you?” Claude stood up. Merlin rose as well.
“The fate of the world is in his hands, you don’t believe that!?”
“I don’t believe in fairy tales! Miles, drive me home and you can do what you want with that loon. I, on the other hand, am going to be living in the real world!” With that, Claude stormed out of the building.
~~~
“How will we know what country the monster will attack?”
“Will you two give it a rest with that nonsense already? We’re almost to my house; you can talk after you drop me off.”
“That’s easy. The motto of the next target will appear on the blade.” Merlin took it out. “’Dieu et mon droit.’”
Claude translated. “God and my right. The motto of England.”
“I guess if a country has no motto, it uses the part the monster will be in, right? What if that doesn’t have a motto?”
“The hilt also is tinted the country’s colors and the flag is somewhat visible at the bottom of the blade.”
The car pulled up to Claude’s house.
“Well, it’s been nice meeting you, Mr. Ambrosius, and I hope we never meet again!” He walked into his house and slammed the door.
“Your friend seems like a charming fellow.” Merlin said, after he left.
“Let’s get back to what we need to do.”
“Right. Tell me Miles... How skilled are you with a sword?”
“Well... I was on the fencing team at the university...”
“Fencing?”
“A sport based on sword-fighting. We use fake swords and...”
“Fake swords?”
“Nobody uses real swords for anything other than decoration anymore, Merlin. Weapons have become far more advanced since your time.”
“Well... Let’s hope your skills can carry over to a real sword. Now, let’s get to England, quickly!”
~~~
A few hours later, the two reached the Channel Tunnel, otherwise known as the Chunnel. Merlin transformed himself into a bird, seeing as he had no passport and, as far as records were concerned, he did not exist. Miles bought his train ticket, and explained that his sword was a gift for a friend who collected them. With that, Miles got on to the train, with Merlin flying in right before the doors closed.
Miles had decided to take the train going to London. The trip only took about an hour. When they stepped off the train, and Miles had retrieved his sword, he knew his adventure would soon begin. After he walked a bit, Merlin transformed back to normal and talked to him.
“Have you seen anything yet?”
“No. Can’t you fly up a little bit and see what’s going on from the air?”
“I’ve just been a bird for an hour! Fine.” Merlin jumped, became a bird, and shot up into the air.
He landed quickly. “There’s something near a palace, next to a river.”
“A palace... With a big clock tower?”
“Yes!”
“The Palace of Westminster. But that’s quite a walk from here. We’ll need to take a bus.”
~~~
About fifteen minutes later, they were at the palace. Merlin had flown up to see where the monster had gone.
“It’s heading this way.” Was all he said upon landing.
Miles heard it before he saw it. A horrible noise, and a horrible looking beast. He did not have much time to think about it, however, before he completely blacked out.
~~~
When he woke up, he checked his watch and noticed he had been out for over an hour. Others were unconscious around him. Merlin was the only other person up, and he was pacing back and forth quickly. Miles stood up.
“Merlin! What the heck was that thing!?”
“Glatisant. The Questing Beast. From its stomach comes a sound like dozens of dogs hunting, and it makes people fall unconscious at best and... die at worst.”
Miles looked around at the people around him. He realized that some of them may not wake up. He looked at the road and saw the crashes that happened when the drivers passed out. He sat back down, and held his head.
“Miles... We need to stop this before this thing does any more damage.”
“We need a plan.”
~~~
The two were equipped with earplugs designed to block out noise from a gunshot. Miles figured that it would at least weaken the effect of the monster’s sound, if not block it out completely. Merlin’s magic protected him once, but he wasn’t sure if it would work again. Merlin had found that the beast had reached Kensington Gardens, and they were taking a bus just close enough that they would be able to stop and fight without endangering the other passengers.
The two ran into the park, earplugs on. The park was strangely, but thankfully, empty. Empty, except for Glatisant. The earplugs worked, the beast was silenced. But it was by no means defeated. The beast’s head was like that of a huge snake, the body looked like that of a leopard, and its legs were those of a deer. The beast started charging at them, Miles held his sword in front of him... and the beast grabbed the sword in its massive maw and tossed it a good twenty feet.
Miles scrambled to retrieve his sword, while Merlin shot spells at the beast, trying to weaken it or slow it down. Miles dashed back while it was distracted for another attempt at attack. His attack landed, but it was not a killing blow, as the beast jerked away too quickly. Far from weakening it, it only made the beast angrier, and more violent. It charged at Merlin, who had to shift into a bird and fly to avoid being attacked. The beast jumped at him, and crashed to the ground after missing.
Merlin knew it was distracted, and started flying away, luring it toward Serpentine lake. Miles followed close behind, unsure of Merlin’s plan. When the beast got close to the water, it stopped, and wandered over to the water for a drink. Merlin dropped down to the ground in his normal form.
“Get him now, while he’s distracted!”
Miles ran up and landed a perfect blow, right through the heart of the beast. The snakelike head shot up quickly in surprise, and the beast began to fade away, leaving no trace of it behind. Miles was shocked, Merlin looked relieved.
“What just happened!?”
“The monster faded when you killed it. Be glad the blood of it faded too, so you don’t need to clean your sword.”
“But-“
“We need a safe place to stay. Can you get us lodgings somewhere?”
~~~
Later, at a hotel, Merlin was watching the news, and Miles was working on his laptop.
“It seems like when we defeated the monster, all of the people who were knocked unconscious woke up, and even those involved in car crashes are going to recover.”
“That's great news! But how are they explaining the monster?”
“They aren't, for some reason.”
“They must be keeping it quiet. But at least everybody is going to be okay.”
“Miles, have you heard of something called the Loch Ness Monster? They’re saying that sightings of it have increased.”
“Nessie? She’s in Scotland, which is part of the UK. Only one monster per country, right?”
“Right, but there may be other creatures who could assist us. Is Nessie an evil creature?”
“She doesn’t seem to be.” He looked up something on his computer. “It’s a ten hour drive according to this, but we can check it out tomorrow if we leave early enough.”
~~~
It was six in the afternoon before they got to Loch Ness, and they were joining a crowd of people on the shore. All of a sudden, a huge green shape burst out of the water and flipped into the air, with everyone around taking pictures or recording a video. Miles and Merlin got closer. Nessie swam right up to them, and flipped Miles on to her back.
“Well Merlin, I think you were right. She does want to help.”
“Nessie, can you understand me?”
Nessie nodded.
“Do you want to help us?”
She nodded again.
“Do you think you can carry us to different countries?”
She nodded a third time.
“Good. We’ll be back later, we need to gather supplies.”
~~~
They returned at eleven, when Miles figured that the crowds would have left. They had plenty of food, along with fishing poles if needed, bottles of water, a GPS, a flashlight, and some blankets if they needed to sleep while on the water. They had this all packed in bags. When they got to the shore, Merlin whistled for Nessie, and she rose out of the water and let them hop on. Nessie then started swimming out through rivers, heading toward the ocean.
“Miles, check your sword. Where are we headed next?”
Miles took out his sword. He looked at the hilt, the flag at the base of the blade. There was no motto, but the flag and colors were enough.
“We’re going to Ireland.”
Grammar mistakes, factual mistakes, strange story-telling, anything I should fix? This probably turned out worse than any other chapters would, because of all the exposition and such. But then again, a writer is their own worst critic, so... XD
